The Observations of "The H"

My Hikes...My Half-Mary....MY LEGS!!!!!!!!

2010-06-12T16:47:00.000-07:00

For those that don't know or can't quite get what exactly is happening in my life, let me be candid for a moment. I went to see the doctor in January for a respiratory bug I had. The assistant dude--nice kid--always weighs me. I find it INFURIATING, but whatever. And it's one of those doctor weight things. The kind with the sliding weights--you know what I mean? Sheeeeeeesh. Well, in January, I weighed in a paltry 292 pounds. WITHOUT my shoes on. 292. I was 8 pounds from 300. This, the guy who regularly goes out and teaches, announces, and makes other public appearances. 292. I stood there looking at the scale for a second with the P.A. walked away and thought, "What have I done?" The answer was simple.

Not a dang thing.

I've made some half-hearted attempts over the years to lose weight here and there. But the bottom line was that as of January, my 44 inch pants were TIGHT, and I had already "moved up" to XXL for my shirts long ago. Another minor eyeopener was for Christmas, my mother in law (The Mudda!!) gave me a VERY expensive dress shirt. One of those dress shirts made by two dudes with different names. Like...PEP...and BOYS. Something like that. She gave me a shirt with an 18 1/2 neck! And it FIT NICE. I was a lazy and sedentary oaf, I wasn't doing ANYTHING for me, and I decided...I had had it.

With the support of my wife with the disclaimer of "You've done this before" (insert--rolled eyes! LOL!!!) and not really believing I was going to do anything long term, and coupled with the threat of taking away my 24HR Fitness Card, I started my journey. You can read back on my Facebook status updates of how I was pretty religious about posting what I was doing when I was doing it. It was my game plan--and Facebook was part of it.

You see, I am ALWAYS being made fun of. That's because my personality is such that I'm usually at the receiving ends of jokes and jabs, and that's cool. Always been that way. But I do hate the pain of being "called on the carpet" for something. And in this weird reverse psychology "plan" I had, I figured if I just started posting a TON of physical fitness updates and results, that I would show that I was in fact SERIOUS, people would notice, and then....THEN...if I got LAZY which is TOTALLY my M.O. (modus operandi for you non-Latin types), I would start getting CRAP from my friends. I was strangely motivated to NOT get crap from people because getting serious crap is embarrassing, and it ticks me off.

Then, using technology, I thought to myself, "Self, you should take pictures to PROVE you are actually doing what you say you are doing." So, I would take pictures of displays of various cardio-machines I was using over the last several months and started talking about my weight going down.

Then, two VERY unexpected things occurred.

The first and most important was HOW FREAKIN' GOOD I FELT!!! My attitude got better. My confidence got better. I stopped WORRYING and started DOING SOMETHING. I was being proactive about me. PERIOD. No one else "mattered" in the sense that I was doing this for anyone. I guess to some extent I could extrapolate I was doing this for my family (by living longer I hope), but it was not a motivator. I was doing this FOR ME.

Secondly, and almost as importantly, I started getting some very very interesting messages either on FB or in my email. They were from people that were telling me that they were being motivated by me and my example. I had no idea, no plan, no intention of doing that. Seriously. I was so motivated by MY failure and to change me and to be accountable to that, that I simply didn't even think of what others would think and DO SOMETHING like I was doing BECAUSE I was doing it.

You want to talk about motivation. When I have some pretty big names privately telling me good job and they were doing something themselves, I realized the power of example, and of course the power of FB for GOOD. But more importantly, because I was kicking my OWN butt on a regular basis, others were thinking, and rightly so, "if that fat butt can do it, SO CAN I!" I was PUMPED UP!!! It MATTERED what I was doing beyond my paltry self. It was not a prideful thing. It was a moment where I thought that I was really helping and really making some kind of difference in my own, "H"-powered way.

But then it became a moment of asking myself "What else can I do???"

About the time I started asking that question, and I was starting to feel the Demon of Laziness coming back into my body after a great first four months of being dedicated to working out, an old former drill designer/drum corps brother contacted me via FB seemingly out of the blue-Dave Tuttle. I had seen his status updates where he was out running and logging his mileage electronically with a Garmin GPS device. Thought it was cool. And so we started chatting online, trading compliments back and forth for working out, and insults against each other's drum corps we marched in (he the Blue Devils, me the ever-powerful Velvet Knights). And in what I call a moment of "put up or shut up", he did what any good drum corps brother would do. He challenged me....to be BETTER. He said I was probably ready to do a half marathon.

Now I had other people tell me the same thing "in passing"...like my former horn instructor with VK--a great guy by the name of Dave Elder. He's a runner, and said I should join him on a half-mary. A fellow dispatcher from Ventura County Fire I worked with last summer on assignment in Riverside said the same thing to me, and I ignored her statement as that of someone who totally overestimated my abilites. But Tuttle's challenge to me was different.

Of course, I denied my ability. Thought of a thousand reasons why I couldn't. Figured I could get a doctor's note saying that I was in fact out of mind, simply too fat, and directing to Tuttle to stop playing mind games with me. But he persisted. And then, in TRUE drum corps-level competitive spirit, he said two things that motivated me.

First, he said, "Yeah, that's ok. I'd still beat you in the race anyway--just like the Blue Devils should beat the Velvet Knights." I bleed red and gold, and them is fighting words. But then...he invoked the "Back to the Future" weapon.

He asked, "What....are ya chicken???"

Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly I became. And I said, "Great timing. This will put more wind into my sails, get my goals reset, and provide me the motivation to get OUT of my comfort zone." Ummmm...yeah Turner. 13.1 miles is WAY THE HECK out of my comfort zone. You should have seen my wife's face when I proudly announced I was running the Fontana Half Marathon. She grabbed the White Pages and started to furiously thumb through, frantically looking for a listing. "What are you doing!?" She said something about "I need those men in the white coats for you, 'cuz you done lost your mind!!"

So last weekend, with nerves jangling, knees knocking, stomach churning, and my brain screaming at me to "STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS--FIND A DONUT STORE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!", I embarked on a personal voyage that took me out of the mountains of the Lytle Creek area, and down to the Fontana City Hall, 13.1 miles and 2hrs 43mins and 59 seconds later.

I admit it. I cried when I crossed that finish line. Because no matter the pain I had, the drenched clothes I was wearing, and the lack of experience that was mine, I DID IT!! It was an amazing thing. And there was Tuttle, who I paced for 10 miles and eventually did pull ahead, and as a Blue Devil should, beat this Velvet Knight, but who as a true drum corps brother and friend, was RIGHT THERE at the finish line giving me a high five.

For those that haven't marched drum corps, you may not understand the connection us "band geeks" have. But that was a moment that's seered into my memory...me crossing the finish line, and having a drum corps brother there to make sure he saw it. Next time Tuttle....VK BEATS THE BLUE DEVILS!! :-)

This hike today, and the other hikes I've documented have been part of my seemingly never ending desire to continue to challenge myself on MY terms. When I hiked the Henninger Flats a few weeks ago, I hadn't done that in 20 years! I knew it was going to be challenging but I knew I HAD to do it. And I did!!

Today, after reading about it on line, and knowing about it all of my life, I finally decided to try the Mt. Wilson Trail above Sierra Madre. It's regarded by many as a difficult hike. I SHOULD THINK FREAKIN' SO!!!!!! There are three "stops" on the way...First Water, Orchard Camp, and Second Water. The LAST stop is 7 miles up, at an elevation of about 4000'. Give or take a few. Hundred. My goal this morning--at least what I told my wife--was to go "4 up and 4 back." Heeeeee heeeee...silly boy. I forgot about that OTHER demon that got into me recently that won't let me look at signs on a trail without having the unquenchable need to be say, "ohhhhhhh I can do THAT!" At First Water, the sign beckoned me. Only 2 more miles to Orchard Camp. "Ohhhhhhhhhh I can do THAT!!!" Then the stupid sign at Orchard Camp...only 1.5 more miles to Second Water. "Ohhhhhhhhhhh I can do THAT!" Before I knew it, I was sitting on a bench at a place called Manzanita Ridge, looking up at Mt. Harvard and Mt. Wilson, and LITERALLY saying out loud, "I should go home now..." and my brain yelling back, "But YOU CAN DO THAT!!!!!!!"

My mileage may not be exact, but I made it to place that I visited back when I was in my early 20's. I LOVE Mt. Wilson. There's an observatory up there, and all those TV towers, and other weird things. And I would regularly drive up there and hike around by myself--nothing major. Just exploring. And where I eventually hiked to was at the bottom of the old "toll road" that zig zags down from Mt. Wilson to where I was standing at the base of Mt. Harvard. I remembered 20 some odd years ago standing at that spot, and then, in typical "H" fashion, ignoring the signs saying STAY OUT and walked to the top of Mt. Harvard to see the super secret construction on some transmission station. Well?!?!? They should have locked the stupid gate. But it was cool standing there.

Anyway...this is REALLY long and I sort of don't know why I'm babbling on. But the mileage wasn't important. What WAS important was that I kept challenging myself today, and even though I'm injured minorly--left knee is a little "inflamed"--I pushed myself and I "won".

Just a side note--if you want to have a TRUE physical work out....do the Mt. Wilson trail from bottom to top. And then, realize, that those steep switchbacks you went UP....you're going to have to COME DOWN. And in true irony, it was HARDER for me to come DOWN the stupid trail then it was to go up. Hence....my left knee.

Hope you enjoyed reading....

Weather Is A-Comin' In....

2010-01-16T12:53:00.001-08:00

It's sort of with a mixed bag of emotions that I type this. A few days ago, I received via email a pretty strongly worded weather warning from a prominent weather forecaster. This was sent out to fire agencies across the state. It was one of the most "doom and gloom" warnings I had read....ever. And I read these all the time. Well, the media picked up on it, and the public consumption type forecasts have been sounding pretty ominous as well.

Since I'm a weather geek, I love weather. It's exciting. But I'm also in public safety (and I'm a nice guy too), and I don't wish death and destruction on my fellow man (except for Muslim terrorists. Anyway, I'm going to be watching with GREAT interest the weather as it transpires over the next few days.

The OFFICIAL forecast is that Sunday night, around 1900hrs, The O.C. should start getting the first official storm system. It's not forecast to be the end of the world. It's the next two storms that will. There is a possibility that where I live in Carbon Canyon above Brea that we have the potential to get 20 inches in a week. I know I have lots of friends across the country that scoff at 20 inches in a week, and say that's just an inconvenience. But for us, where our flood control channels are old, our river system not very well designed, a lot of flat lands, and houses built into hills that have been burned away, we have quite a lot of potential for things to go ca-ca pretty quickly.

Rain should be lasting through the week well into Friday. A very cold and "unstable" air mass will move in which keeps the chance of rain, and for a lot of snow. HOWEVER, if the "Pineapple Express" sets up (which basically means tropical "warmer" moisture moving in from Hawaii into So Cal) and all that water falls on snow packs, we could see some major flooding. Big chances of embedded thunderstorms and very high winds as well.

See? It IS exciting. Until you lose power or are stranded in some canyon with no way out. All my updates from now on based on what's happening real time will be done by status updates on Facebook. There you go....

Be safe...check your batteries and flashlights and candles....and let's see what happens. I will tell you after following weather as I have pretty much all my life, I have been disappointed--bitterly so--when "end of the world" forecasts have failed to materialize. I've also been surprised when a benign forecast has been off and we've been smacked (the thunderstorms from hell in 2003 that dropped several inches of HAIL on south Los Angeles in April if I remember correctly).

See you on Facebook....

It's been almost a year....

2009-06-16T11:04:00.000-07:00

Well...if you're reading these words right now in my "notes" section of my Facebook page, just know that I'm actually typing this in my blog, The Observations of "The H", located at Blogspot. Interesting little turn of events that caused me to come up here to type a quick diddy.

I was doing a project for my boss at work today, and putting together a rather basic but very "H"-like PowerPoint presentation. I was looking for images of Carbon Canyon on line, and came across a great blog that I had no idea existed...it's called the Carbon Canyon Chronicle located at http://carboncanyonchronicle.blogspot.com

COOL!! Because I too reside in the famous canyon, I thought it was rather cool that someone took the time to create a blog...and it's actually VERY WELL DONE. Dude knows how to write well...has some historical info about the area (which absolutely gets me all warm and fuzzy because I love history, and gives an insight into some current events regarding the canyon. AND...the dude takes some pretty good pictures.

Anyway...I was reading his blog and then I got to thinking that I sort of missed The Observations of "The H" and got to thinking WHY I originally set it up (again--big thanks for the inspiration to the hard-working man on the west coast, Lee Rudnicki), and how much fun it was to hear from people both on-line and in the "meat world" who would say they actually READ THIS DRIVEL...a mismash of commentary on life, politics, drum corps, marching band, the fuzz in my naval, movie reviews...the same crap I do on the notes section in Facebook...see that's just the thing.

I'M TORN between Facebook and this blog...that's the issue.

Anyway...there you go...and here I am...and away I go...

Until next time, don't forget to visit me on Facebook if you're one of the few last hold outs that exist on this planet that haven't become a part of that cult. Come on in...the water's fine!! :-))))

Another milestone day...

2008-10-20T09:43:00.000-07:00

These the days that are tough for dads. When your babies start to grow up. And start to shine in ways that you don't expect. There's a really really long story that centers around the apple of my eye, my 7-year old daughter Sarah...or Sarah Bearah as I affectionately started calling her. The story starts when she was born 2 months premature and only weighed just under 3 pounds, and spent the first month of her life in the NICU at St. Jude's in Fullerton. And how I wasn't even allowed to touch her for the first 2 weeks of her life unless I had gloves on. And how she had a brain bleed during her first week of life that almost necessitated brain surgery. And how instead of learning how to change her diapers and enjoy her at home, I had to do it everyday visiting a hospital. It was very very trying time. To say the least. Watching my 3 pound premature baby girl was enough to turn this big louse of a man into a complete and utter mass of whimpering.

Fast forward to today...she's 7 years old...she's in 2nd grade. She plays piano, sometimes scaring the crap out of me because she'll say "Hey daddy, does this sound ok?" and I look up, and she's playing 2 hand piano stuff LOOKING AT ME AND NOT THE KEYBOARD!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! You're 7!!! Knock off this Liberace showing off crap!! LOL!!! She's bright, she's intelligent, she's a sarcastic sass at times (which really chaps my hide because she's JUST like her mom!! Grrrrrr!!), she's unbelievably beautiful, and she's been through a ringer to start her life.

I got a call this morning from The Warden, telling me that today was the first time she was going to take the bus to school instead of mom schlepping her around. The Brea Unified School District finally decided to add a bus stop for us canyon dwellers, and today was the first day of service. As The Warden put it--"Sarah was so excited today. She ate breakfast with great speed, and got ready. And then, from the dining room she yelled, 'They're here, they're coming!!' And I told her go outside and wait for them!" Them being the neighborhood kids traveling in a "pack" to go to the bus stop.

We're really protective of Sarah. Not obnoxiously--we don't hover. But we are pretty careful about keeping an eye on her, keeping her safe, setting rules pretty clearly, having expectations, blah blah blah. So, this was a MAJOR step towards one, letting her have a more freedom, and two, LETTING GO A BIT. As my friend back in Illinois says, "TIME TO CUT THE UMBILICAL CORD!!" What he means is that sometimes as parents you just have to let go, and let life happen. Today--because I'm HERE at the OCFA, I missed this little milestone of letting her go. Bittersweet to say the least, but ultimately, happy for my "little girl". Apparently The Pack showed up, and she ran outside with her bookbag and lunch, and "got in line" with everyone and took off up the street to the bus stop. The Warden had to choke up back a tear (and so did I as she was telling me about this) and stifle the need to "supervise" the kids as they walked down the street. And the part that really hits me--where if you're not a dad you may not "get it"--but the part that really hit me was when my wife said, "And you should have seen her face. She was soooo proud of herself. She had that 'lips clamped smile' and she was looking out of the side of her eyes at me as she walked away." I know that sounds weird, but I know my daughter. And I know inside, she was a mix of elation that she was with "her people", and being a "grown up" by taking off to go catch a bus, but at the same time, it's hard not to think that maybe she was a tad bit scared. And that she was just glancing to make sure mom was still there.

Damn kids. They make my eyes leak.

Well done daughter.

Well done.

I HAVE THE KONK!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-17T00:27:00.000-07:00

Recently, it was related to me by a good friend at work that his wife was "worried" about me, and how I've recently become "all political". Hardly ALL political, but yes, I've reached a point of frustration with our government SERVANTS that has pretty much bordered on nuclear meltdown. If you look on my Facebook page, I'm a tried and true Libertarian, something I've joked about on this very blog as something I didn't even KNOW until I "took the political party test". I wasn't slightly, or to the right or left, of Libertarian. Oh no...I was pretty much living in the lower colon of Ron Paul-level of libertarian. And I really think it comes down to my ever-increasing lack of confidence (to say the least) on anyone within politics (no offense to my good friend Jon) being "honest". It simply doesn't exist. Yet...we as a society JOKE about it. Cartoons, and editorials, and blogs, and "shruggin' the shoulders whaddya gonna do" attitudes abound with this "acceptance" of really, what I refer to as, on the VERY basic level of human interaction....DISHONESTY.

This recent "rescue plan" for the economy, this 750 BILLION dollar exercise of throwing a Big Gulp full of water on a raging forest fire, is a joke? WHY!?!?!? Because what we DON'T know about it--and that's the "earmarks" that are part of it. Not even about the fruitlessness of this "rescue", it's about people in politics getting what they WANT for THEM. Really. That's the BOTTOM line. So I'm sick of it. Really. Sick of it.

Not to mention this campaign. There was about 5 minutes of the presidential debate that I listened to before I seriously got nauseaous. There was NOTHING said--it was finger pointing. It was worthless. It meant NOTHING. Empty words. Empty promises. BY BOTH of these guys. And it's in a long line of previous empty promises.

We don't...oh sorry...I DON'T trust my government anymore. I simply don't. We as a people have let things slip away from black and white, right and wrong, into moral ambiguity, relative ethics, lies, corruption...oh the list goes on. But that's human nature, Turner...it's too be expected. I say it's NOT to be expected. I EXPECT leaders to hold themselves to a higher standard. I EXPECT that the good of the citizens of this country are FIRST AND FOREMOST in the minds of those that we pay OUT OF OUR ASSES IN TAXES FOR IN GOVERNMENT. But it's just not so.

So...that's why I've become "political". I'm not jumping on any bandwagon and saying "Vote for (insert name)" because no one is worthy. True, I've dug a little deeper and apparently Obama has some good ideas that if I were to be completely honest, I tend to think he may have an edge over McCain in (and I'm speaking directly about his tax plan). But I stop myself RIGHT THERE--because it's probably NOT going to happen. Maybe it's because it's a lie from Obama, or maybe "something will happen" and the 95% of us that are supposed to get a tax break under him won't enjoy it. So I say vote for no one. What does it matter?

But you wanna know something?? Here's where I think I have found, at least in this clip, my voice. I love Jon Stewart. I think he's a great talent, and he says it like it is. Watch this clip, and just feel behind the comedy the frustration that he speaks to...and of. That's me. You can put my face on Stewart's body, and I'd say the same damn thing.

But I'm louder. :-) Enjoy...and then I'll see you later...as our country continues to sink to new lows...

...annnnnnnnnd away we go!!!

2008-10-16T13:16:00.001-07:00

Marching band season is in full swing! The "fire season" is in full swing! And alllllllllllll is CRAZY!!

Hello all...if you know me on Facebook, than you know that I am spending in inordinate amount of time over there kabbitzing and meeting people and re-meeting old friends. It's really been quite cool. I've also linked this blog--The Observations of the H--with "My Notes" over in Facebook, so whatever I type here appears there. SO HI THERE!! I'm here. Or something.

Let's see...what can I talk about today?

Well, I just had lunch and I'm sitting down staring at my desk and several "to do" things on my list. One thing of interest was that on Friday of last week and then again this past Tuesday, I taught 4 classes in personal emergency preparedness to some employees of State Farm Insurance down in Irvine. My sister in law sort of put it together through their "employee betterment" classes they do where outside speakers come in and talk about all kinds of fun stuff--like will planning, financial planning, investing, computers, how to program your iPod, etc, etc. This was the first time that I officially taught a class on emergency preparedness, and outside of the fact that I was so nervous I could barely see straight, I actually did an ok job. Apparently they liked me. I'm going back in the spring.

As you are aware, the fire season is well upon us and this is always a troublesome time of year for me. My two loves in life--the fire service and the marching arts--sometimes come into conflict regarding my schedule. Bad. I hate that. So between my judging and announcing assignments this fall, as well as my requirement that if something bad happens at the fire department (like a big brush fire), I'm expected to drop whatever I'm doing and be at work, or STAY at work or whatever the case is. So...we'll see how this season goes.

And yes, the ever-loving marching band season is in full swing. My group in Illinois is doing PHENOMENALLY well, to the point that the director is "concerned" that they're getting way too big headed out there. Maybe I should fly back and explain the facts of life to them. One of my other groups out here just competed last weekend and won their class. COOOOOOOOOOOL!! Great way to start the season. But EVERY weekend except for Thanksgiving weekend, I'm doing SOMETHING somewhere. Amazing.

That's it...quite boring I admit...but it is what it is (dang it Thom...that's all I say anymore--and now EVERYONE at work is saying it....dang it!!!).

Now...get outta here!

What a week...WHAT...A...WEEK.

2008-09-20T14:27:00.000-07:00

If you happen to have Facebook and checked in at all during the week, you'd see that I hinted at this not being a very good time for me with my "status changes". I'm back on a bit more solid footing now that I'm at the weekend, and I know I peaked a lot of curiosity as to what I was hinting at. Without going into gory details, I was reminded, rather bluntly, that I was nowhere living up to my potential. It may seem rather silly for me to "emote" about this online, but, I can't help but say I was rather devastated. My force of personality I think makes up for some deficiencies in my life, but my charm and natural rugged good looks (yeah...whatever Turner) weren't going to save me. It took me two days of licking my wounds to sort of grapple with things, and a dear friend who told me to get up off my ass and get to work (she said it nicer than that).

There's no lack of "things" in my life. I have 3 children, a wife, a home, a career, my marching band business that can be whatever I want it to be, opportunities to judge and announce galore, really great friends, a faith that if not strong is at least there in something BIGGER than just this stupid life...and I was reminded that (to paraphrase a popular "feel good" self help expression) "For every horse that bucks you off, there are 10 more waiting for you. Some are going to buck you off, some are going to take you where you want. The difference between Ryan H. Turner and the rest of humanity is having the courage to chance success or failure by getting up off your ass and picking the next horse."

Believe it or not--I just made that up. Just right now. But it's appropriate isn't it? Life got you down? You got a plate with a big steamin' pile of poop on it sitting in front of you? You feel overwhelmed? You got a boss that smacks you down? You got a love in your life that's not loving you back? You got more things to do on your list than you have space on the paper for?

You take it all one day at time. That's allllllllllllllllllllll you can do. One. Day. At a time. Slow down. Take stock. Take a deep breath. Chill. Reeeeeeeeeeelax. And remember those things that are far far far more important than trivial everyday-ism's.

Who loves you? Who do you love? Who do you appreciate? Who makes you smile? Who is important to you? Who do you wake up everyday thinking to yourself about? Now...ask yourself...did you tell them in the last 24 hours, 48 hours, 2 week, 3 years...did you tell them they're important to you, that you are grateful they're around, that they EXIST, that they bring meaning and significance to your life beyond the old "Hey how ya doin' dude" or "Let's go watch Sex and the City girlfriend!" pleasantries.

Because nothing is more important. And if your priorities are out of whack, if your focus is on the money, or the woman, or the man, or impressing this, or buying that, or looking like this, or losing that weight, or climbing that corporate ladder, or crushing that opposition...whatever...WHATEVER it is...if you're out of balance in your life, whether you tend to get bitch slapped like I do (and did), or you're oblivious, I can guarandamntee you some part of your life is suffering. And more than likely, some ONE is suffering because of you.

We are toooooooooooooooooooooooooo engrained nowadays in the riff raff. We're too ready to go ($1 to my friend Bill in Illinois) "chase the butterfly". We're forgetting what's REALLY important. We're forgetting.

And this little rant is only brought to you from recent personal experience. If my life was balanced, I probably would have been doing a better job at what i was supposed to be doing, and I would never have been slapped. Or, if my life was balanced, and I still got slapped, I would have brushed it off, recommitted to doing better without any drama, and would have hit the ground running.

So I was definitely out of balance. And it's been my experience after a 42 year career of being Ryan H. Turner that these...what I call..."life's bitch slaps" tend to, at least for me, realign my priorities a bit. Sure--this is probably just an exercise in "verbal judo" ($1 to Kino, and old boss of mine), a slightly metaphysical/self-help type rant from yours truly...but that's what a blog is for. It's my thought right now that I have to get out. Partly to explain what the hell was wrong with me this week, partly to show by example that even idiots like me can stand back up and persevere, and that really, truly, I was reminded by that same dear, dear friend of mine that no matter what, don't forget who you REALLY are, and don't forget to share with those in your life the fact you're grateful they're there.

I have someone who I regard as my best friend (not my wife...a long time band/corps geek brother) who I use regularly (and he reciprocates with me) as a sounding board for WHATEVER. Crazy business idea? We yak. Crazy drill design idea? We yak. Crazy vacation idea. We yak. But we're not scared to thank each other for being each other's friend during these crazy times while we both have to deal with our own "spheres of responsibiity" in whatever we're dealing with. How grateful am I that I have at least ONE person that I can rely on that way.

Sorry for the rant. Sorry the time it took to have to wade through this. But this has been a very strange and very wonderful week.

So...there you go.

Now get outta here.

Not Being Bored....Part II...

2008-09-14T12:56:00.000-07:00

....I'm coming to you LIVE from Dallas/Ft. Worth International, just having devoured a Beef Brisket sandwich from a suspiciously nasty sounding joint called DICKEY'S. Yeah. At least I didn't have the sausage.... :-/ MOVING ON...

Now where was I?

--Belleville East HS, the band for which I came out to Illinois fortwith to clinic and judge their home show and then get on a bus and go to ANOTHER competition where they competed...this is a band as I described to them in my rather loud and motivating motivational "session" as being a "boiling pot of potential". I let them (the kids) know they could choose what direction to go. They have a pretty difficult show this season, full of LOTS of exciting music (props to John Meehan) and a pretty kicking drum line and a pit...OF 17 PEOPLE!! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLO!!! There's a whole lot of wood and metal in East's pit this year. But they're really good.

But by biting off a HUGE chunk to chew on with difficult music and challenging drill, well, instead of playing it safe and going with clean, they're experiencing the competitive reality of getting smacked around by the judges for "not being clean". I have gone through the same thing, most notably with Fountain Valley's Waterworld show and RBV's Kansas show, both VERY challenging and different levels. Both bands started slow, but both bands (in different years of course) roared to life by the end of the season, winning sweeps at the pseudo-championship mega-show Savanna Tournament. Belleville went into the competition last night with one goal--to simply do the best they can and soak up what happens with the audience. It was a typical high school stadium, not the tallest in the world, but it was a VERY long set of stands, so people were all the way out to the 10's. And it was PACKED. VERY cool to see that. And as we were walking over to the starting gate, the crowd was polite for the band before us (Oakville...HOLY COW...clean clean clean band), and gave them a nice round of applause at the end. But when "we" took field, our kids were pumped and right off the bat, the audience came alive. It was VERY VERY cool. Lots of clap traps built into the show (THANKS AGAIN MEEHAN!!!), and we've added a couple of doozy's. And with only 3/4's of a show on the field (they're still trying to figure out how to do my crazy rotating blocks...or how to arrange my death for writing them in the first place!!), they sort of got spanked last night. I mean...not HORRIBLY...lots of VERY positive comments with the admonition to clean the show (I agree obviously), but when they DO clean this show...watch out.

SPECIAL NOTE TO ANY SOUTHERN ILLINOIS MARCHING TECH PEOPLE...like they're reading this but hell, people know people so read on. If there are any tech people in the eastern Missouri southern Illinois area that want to hook up with a great band, search out Belleville East. They could use some eyes for the rest of the season--as long as you don't want to come in and change the world, you may be able to help this old man out and a GRRRRRRRRRREAT band full of some great kids. Director is on his own for the most part. Word.

--Guess what? Politics exist in the minds of band directors in the midwest too!!!

--Guess what?? Some judges have the unfortunate banner above their head in the midwest of being biased. GASP!!! That NEVER happens. ANYWHERE!!!! The shame...
:-/

--McAlister's Deli?? Midwest thing. It rocks. Thank you midwest for adding yet again to my waist line.

--To the manager at Starbucks in O'Fallon, Illinois just outside my hotel. Thank you for not making me feel like a complete loon for ordering (wait for it) a glass of milk to go with my apple fritter. Yes. A glass of milk. Isn't that sweet? Whatever Turner.

--Dallas/Fort Worth International is the most rockingest bitchin' airport ever. I think it gives Tampa a run for the money. This place is REALLY REALLY nice, with this elaborate "Skylink" metrorail system that gets you from gate to gate. And as I people watch frommy perch high atop a stool here in the dining area outside of DICKEY'S, I really am impressed with how nice it is here. Of course, I'm easy to impress. But it is what it is...RIGHT THOM WILLET!!!??? It is.

--Facebook is going to be the death of me.I'm just going to be so stuck on it that I will lose all sense of time and I will come to and my daughter will be 22 and married with kids on the way. Damn that Facebook. DAMN IT.

--OH OH OH OH!!!! BIG NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm anticipating an email from a major marching band in the western United States that quite possibly is interested in entering into discussion about next year. This is actually such a shock that apparently it shocked it's way out of my memory. But seriously. It's a case of yet again being in the right place at the right time. And I have to rely on the old "If a door closes, another opens." I just didn't ever think it would be THAT door. For obvious reasons, I'm mum on who this is, but obviously I'll yap about it up here on The Observations of the H...

--Cool side note to the trip...one of the judges was a local band director by the name of Jo Smith. Didn't recognize her. She judged visual ensemble, and my happy butt was on visual G.E., you know, where I talk about THE RELATIONSHIP OF THE MUSIC TO THE OVERALL DESIGN OF THE SHOW AND IT'S EFFECTIVENESS (sorry...I was hoping someone in SCSBOA was reading this...DOH!!!)...where was I?...oh yeah, so we introduce ourselves and she says, "Sooooooooooooo you live La Brea, right?" Uhhh...no...that would be a tar pit. I explained where I really live. I live in the hills that used to be a huge oil find back in the 1800's. OHHHHH...she said her son lived in Van Nuys. Oh...that's cool. Is he someone I should know (non sarcastically stated of course...if you know me...I could be QUITE the OTHER way with a question like that). "Oh his name is Nathan Smith....he's the assistant director for The Cavaliers." OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...THAT Nathan Smith. That's exactly what I said. OHHHHHHHH...HIM! Still not quite connecting the dots, I said "Does he judge out in southern California?" And she said the keywords that activate the gray matter to remember things...she says, "Ohhhh he is more now, but he works in the movie industry, so his schedule isn't normal." DING DING DING DING!!! And in classic Ryan H. Turner, I bellow, "OHHHHHHHHH I KNOW YOUR SON!!!!" And I did. I met Nathan when I went and judged my very first show for SCSBOA 3 years ago at the Simi Valley Tournament. He was the guard judge. Thinking my crap didn't stink back then (and I still do of course), and thinking I knew EVERYONE, I had never met him before. Cool dude...we talked...I remember him telling me he was in set design or something blah blah blah for "the industry". So of course I checked IMDB and YEP, he's for real. So...cool...just wanted to share it. Jo gave me some 411 on DCI and judging and stuff. She's a VERY VERY nice lady and a VERY VERY good judge. I wilted in her presence as I could hear her while we were working. Anyway...cool side story.

That's my peeps...I'm winding down on my layover here, thinking it may be time to strategically place myself closer to gate C12 (I'm all the way down at DICKEY'S at gate C6 because I just had to go to DICKEY'S apparently. Hope all is well with the 5.3 people that read this tripe.

And now...for a little tradition...a sign off that I used to use all the time when I first started this blog...

Thanks for reading...now please...GET OUTTA HERE!!

I just paid 7.99 to NOT be bored!!!

2008-09-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Oh God, why did you give me this disease called Adult Attention Deficit Disorder??? Why can't I just sit quietly by myself in an airport terminal in St. Louis, Missouri, be pleasant, sip on a Diet Coke, contemplate my naval fuzz, smile at people, and just relax?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...I can't do that, now can I? So I have a laptop (thank the Lord!) that when I travel mano y mano, becomes my link to the outside world. Most terminals are cool. They have free wireless. But not St. Louis. Oh nooooooooo. I have either have an account with some wireless provider, OR, I have to sign up with something that sounds like the beginning of a title of a porn movie. BOINGO?? What the?? So hear I am...$7.99 spent. Sitting in St. Louis, raining like a mutha outside as the last dying part of the giant Ike comes a'rollin' through, desperately missing my Sarah Bearah, Michael Ryan, and Mr. Chubs Benjamin Wallace....oh yeah, and I'm missing my wife too. :-) Here's some observations from my 3 days away...

--I love Ontario International Airport. They have their act DOWN. Surreal moment of my trip. I had just gotten up to the check your bags security area at Ontario on 9/11 at 8:44am. Yeah. To my surprise, some TSA dude all of a sudden yells "ALLL STOP!! ALLLLL STOP!!!! DISCONTINUE CHECKS!!!!" I'm thinking, "Great...Osama is in the house. We're all going to die." And then the coolest thing that I ever think I've seen happened. All of a sudden EVERYTHING stopped. EVERYONE stopped. Of course I'm dense and at the very first I was seriously thinking something was wrong, but then, DUH, it was 8:44am. And then the president of Ontario International got on the speaker system, and then the weirdest dang thing I've EVERY seen happened...it got DEAD ASS QUIET. NO ONE was talking...except for this disembodied voice from the speaker system. And in a quick, eloquent, meaningful, and dare I say heart-tugging moment, he asked all of us to pay our respects with a moment of silence on this horrible anniversary. And we did. I'm a big softy and I cry---OK!! Just get over it. I CRY. And here I am, choking up in a freakin' airport terminal, because I'm experiencing this "thing" with everyone else. Usually airports are a seas of humanity that has absolute no connection with each other with the exception that we all have to pack ourselves on aluminum tubes with wings and fly to destinations unknown. But we were there all sharing in the memory of that horrible day. Earlier in my blog archives, you can read where and what I was doing on Sept 11, 2001. A cool, sad, surreal, and impactful moment to start my trip.

--St. Louis, Missouri...the city...is one SCARY ass city. It's embarrassingly nasty. If there is anyone from the St. Louis city council reading this blog, do me a favor. At least TEAR DOWN the burned out tenaments and buildings that line the freeway. For God's sakes. And don't even get me talking about the war zone known as EAST St. Louis. Crimeny sakes.

--Belleville is a cute little midwestern city. Everything is green. EVERYTHING. I suffered through humidity levels that would have made a yak puke. It was just the nastiest thing in the world. I don't EVER remember VK tour in the 80's ever experiencing humidity the likes of which I had this past weekend. Well...except for that time in Omaha when I thought that possible someone left a door open....TO HELL!! That was bad. But the weather reports were all ominous the time I was here. Thunderstorms...heavy rain...wind...we didn't think we were even going to be able to rehearse for the show, much less have the competition. But the weather NEVER materalized until this morning, and then the hounds were released. I'm tellin' ya...if we had rain and wind like what I saw this morning in southern California for longer than 17 seconds, I swear to you, people would simply die. They would fall over dead from fright. We don't get this kind of weather.

--Belleville East HS is a former community college campus. Big, nice, all brick, well kept, and an interesting demographic of 50/50 whites and blacks. I only notice that because I think I saw one Hispanic. Oh and an dude from India. But what I saw was VERY heartening. For all the crap we hear in the media about racial inequality, and racial tension, and racial this, and racial that, I was watching the band kids and to some extent because I was there during the school day, the general population. Groups of kids were pretty mixed. Didn't hardly see big roving groups of one race. And everyone seemed very friendly to each other. Encouraging.

--Belleville East HS Marching Lancers is, as I told them during my "motivational session" a "big boiling pot of potential". They have had significant - more to come...they just called me to the plane...gotta go...check back!!!

What am I? A Walking Information Kiosk?!? Live from Phoenix...

2008-09-11T11:22:00.000-07:00

I'm coming to you live from Phoenix Skyport Skyway Skytower International Whatsitdingy, as I embark on a cross-country trek to the beautiful city of Belleville, Illinois, home of the nation's biggest/largest/oldest/newest something or other. I have no idea. I'm actually on the way to a marching band clinic gig and then to judge a show. They do things differently in the midwest. They're a tad earlier in the world of schooling than we are in southern California. SOmething about snow storms, blizzards, being stranded in your house, blah blah. Anyway, their marching band season is WELL underway. Ours...well...they're still certifying judges I'm sure. (Grrr.)

ANyway--odd experience today. Don't know if it's my naturally angelic, even dare I say cherubic looks or what, but I've been the parlayer of information to a random assortment of freaks today. Dude sitting next to me on the plane I think has never flown before. Why? Because he asked when we started to pull in to Phoenix, "So, uhhh...what do I? Do I just try to get off the plane as soon as I can?" It caught me off guard. I should have said, "Well of course dimwit. YOu claw and fight your way to the front as fast as possible-and you better watch out. I'm fighting too!!!" But I sort of chuckled to myself and said, "No...it's sort of like an orderly system. You'll get it." Just as soon as I said that, some impatient fossil of a man sort of shoved his way down the hallway right past my rookie flyer friend. Idiot.

But yeah....random questions today. Right along those lines. But it's to be expected. All of my life--well, my ADULT life--I'm always been approached by people asking me questions of like where to go, directions, opinions, etc, etc. My lot in life. Never fails to amuse me how many times I'm in a store and people automatically think I work there...Circuit City, Walmart, freakin' DENNY'S, whatever..."Hey man, do you work here?" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

So there you go....Hey I got some good news for once. And no, it's not about Sarah Palin, the next best thing that's come out of Alaska since its oil (that we sell to Japan--go figure). No, I do have good news about a subject of great concern I've had over the last few months. If you go back to my June archive, you'll see a story about a former love of my life that was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor and the resultant shock it was to my life. Well, I'm VERY happy to report (finally because this is sort of old news) that her surgery was a bonafide success, she's under close care by some world-renowned doctors and specialists, doing some minor chemo to make sure they kick the cancer in the ass, and she's got a support system that LITERALLY spans the globe. I mean that. So keep going M....

I'm out.

Vicious Attack!!!!

2008-09-03T08:51:00.001-07:00

Having been the owner of a Rottweiler for several years, I can attest to the biting power of this massively powerful and potentially violent dog. This video, graphic in nature, shows what a Rottweiler can do to a kitten. Have a barf bag ready...

Mean Rottweiler Plays With Kitten - Watch more free videos

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the HUMANNNNNNNNNITY!!!!

A Legend of Voice Has Died...

2008-09-02T15:51:00.001-07:00

I didn't even realize he had been sick. But Don Fontaine, a TRUE voice legend, has died.

Very sad. And I care because I have always harbored this secret fantasy of being a voice over dude some day, but I've always been....just been too...what's the word??

A couple of cool videos...

2008-08-26T18:36:00.000-07:00

I talk so much in my life about my "Bank Geek" stuff, peppered with some semi-interesting things about my "Fire Geek" life. Here are a couple of videos from my "Fire Geek" side of life...

This first video is from a recent train derailment in Oklahoma back on Aug 22. I was told about this video in a command class I'm taking. Just watch--there's not much else I can say about this other than, "HOLY CRAP!!"

This second video is actually sort of "special" to me. I think this particular fire happened about 4 years ago or so. I'm not real clear on the date. But it happened in Reno, Nevada. Not sure of the weather conditions during the fire, but it appears a couple of things were in favor of this being a BIG problem. One, the fire was somewhat wind-driven. Two, it was burning up-slope. And three, it helped that there were houses at the top of the slope with wood decks and wood facing. What's remarkable about this video is the speed at which it took off. Here in Orange County, we pride ourselves on a relatively fast response time for a major metropolitan fire department. Don't quote me, but our response time is somewhere in the area of 5 - 6 minutes from the time we pick up the phone and say "What's your emergency?" to the time our equipment first pulls on scene. In the big picture, that's a pretty good response time. This video doesn't necessarily tell EVERYTHING about the response time on THIS particular fire by the handling agency (Reno Fire Department), but in my somewhat semi sometimes professional opinion, I don't think a faster response time would have had much effect on this incident. I simply cannot believe how fast this first moves. It's a longer video--and I certainly don't revel in the destruction of someone's home--but from a scientific and fire behavior point of view, the video says LOADS about how crazy fire can be...check THIS video out (rated PG for mild cussing by the voice in the background, which is mild compared to what I probably would have said):

There you go...something NOT band or winter guard or drum corps related.

For once.

Give it up for Grandma...

2008-08-23T15:18:00.001-07:00

I'm not a big fan of Ellen DeGeneres. I can take her or leave her. But she has a cool show that is not as big as She Who Must Not Ever Be Named On My Blog, but certainly has a dedicated audience. Apparently Ellen allows callers to leave her messages on her voice mail, and she played a message from this sweet little old lady, and then called her back the next show.

Hilarity ensued. It's a very very cute little video, completely harmless.

Wait.

DID I JUST REFER TO A VIDEO AS CUTE?!?!?! What the?????????????

A little funny for your fanny Friday, fanboy

2008-08-22T13:57:00.000-07:00

Ok...this is funny...I really did laugh. I should be working. But this came across my desktop, and now it is here on my website. If you've seen The Dark Knight like I have, you'll relate. I still think The Dark Knight may be this year's best picture with some of the greatest writing and acting I've seen in a long time, but I absolutely love parody. And...well...just watch this...

http://view.break.com/554666 - Watch more free videos

Have a nice day!

Leave me the hell alone, Tom Cruise!!!

2008-08-21T14:23:00.000-07:00

Ok...(opening up the Ryan H. Turner History Book)....cough cough...wow, that's a dusty ass book. OK, let's see here...page...uhhhhhh, let's see...1989? 1990? Well...uhhh...let's see (flipping pages).

Oh, that's me on the podium...too far...let's see...1989....1990...cough cough...damn dust...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! No..no...no...I went Back to the Future...good GOD....

Well...I guess I'll just have to talk about it.

Back in 1988...or thereabouts...maybe 1989...I was a student at CSULB. I was a music education major, really starting to get into the "biz" part of the pageantry arts by teaching and doing some writing, and still at the age of 22 living off of the generosity of my parents. I was SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY yet immaturely very much in love with an at-the-time rather prominent guard person whom I seriously worshipped and was probably just dangerously obsessed with (looking back that is--at the time...hell...I was happy). ANYWAY...life was pretty good. But there was (as always) something underneath the surface that was sort of buggin'. I don't know how to put it, other than it felt like an itch you couldn't quite get to. An unsettling little dam in the babbling brook of life (ok Turner...knock off the creative imagery--you SUCK!).

And I happened to come across one of these "Personality Tests" somewhere. Thought...ahhh...sure...let's do it. So I took it, then mailed it in to some place that had the word DIANETICS in it. They said they'd call with the results. Great. "Ring ring, Hello Mr. Turner, yes, we've called the authorities. You're a freak." What did I care? I was flying high in life at the time with the exception of this undefined itch, and I thought it would be cool to see if I can see what makes "The H." tick.

Get the call from a super nice person...COME ON DOWN...boy we'd sure like to talk to you about your results...blah blah blah. Next thing I know, I'm sitting with a "counselor" in a building in Tustin with the sign in front CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY. I'm thinking...mmmmmkay...don't know what this is about but fine. I'm game.

2 hours later, after being hoodwinked, uhhhh, I mean, "counseled" and having my first "audit" session as a "teaser" as to what Scientology could "do for you", I left there a little....what's the word?....freaked out. Apparently it wasn't what I was looking for. No harm, no foul. At the time, I was living with my good friend and prominent drill writer (and a person I give credit to for pointing me in the right direction) Dave Weinberg. He ends up getting married and I, being shy and bashful as I am (cough), had no friends. So I ended up moving back with mom and dad. Fair enough. It was cool. About 4 months after living there, my phone rings. "Ring ring, hellllllllllllllllllllllllooooo Mr. Turner, did you forget about us?" It was the Church calling. Strange. Why, I didn't tell them I was moving. I didn't even tell them I was interested. As a matter of fact, I didn't even know they knew I existed. It was the Pasadena branch of the "church" wanting me to start my "audits". Ahhhhhhh. Yeah. About that...uhhhhh, thanks but no thanks. This is where the phone call got a little interesting.

Them: "Wait a second...you mean to tell me you don't want to learn how to be a better human?"
Me: "Uhhhh, except for the occasional tick in my eye and my penchant to eat too many cheeseburgers, I'm fairly happy and content."
Them: "But, it's the cheeseburgers we have to explore. Why do you eat so much?"
Me: "I'm thinking they taste good."
Them: "Noooooooo no no no...something happened in your past. We have to find out. And then we'll uncover so much more. And then you'll realize how much you actually SUCK AT BEING A HUMAN RIGHT NOW. SEE??? It's wonderful. Come on down."
Me: "Uhhhh...so...how did you get my number?"
Them: "It's not important. But just don't wear that blue shirt you have on right now."
ME: (looking around--IN MY HOUSE--for the camera) "You are freaking me out. Really though, I'm not interested."
THEM: (Tone getting a tad...how should I say...unfriendly??) "Oh come on, Ryan. You know you need us. Don't be scared."
--insert a note...remember in Back To The Future where Marty McFly gets called "yella" or "chicken", and it makes him all crazy? Yeah...you wanna bag on me, fine. Wanna insult me, great. Have at it. Wanna bring up how stupid I am? Whatever. I know this. BUT DON'T QUESTION MY BRAVERY. Seriously. It wigs my ass out. Back to the story--
ME: "I think hanging up now will be in my future...thanks for calling."
THEM: "something something blah blah blah blah but but but" click....boooooooooooo...dial tone.

So...in 1989, I believe I, Ryan H. Turner, was done with any further contact with the Church of Tom Cruise.

Fast forward to six months ago. In my mailbox, I start receiving, and I'm TRUTHFULLY not overexaggerating, a highly expensive almost DAILY bombardment of ads, brochures, letters, invitations and all asundry materials from the COS. Can I just type COS now for the love of all that is holy? Gee thanks...

I mean...A LOT OF STUFF. And these were ads and things for people that were OBVIOUSLY members of the church who were "high up" on their internal "ladder" towards becoming a superhuman (note: I had done some cursory research on the church once the internet exploded on the scene to see what exactly that church was all about...and it's pretty interesting...to say the least....ahem...cough). So I'm thinking to myself:

1. If they were trying to "wooo me back" to the church, the stuff they're sending is totally wrong (from a purely marketing standpoint). I mean, this was superadvanced classes and books and stuff...not for the new guys.

and....

2. If my name still appeared somewhere somehow in someway on some list that resurrected itself 20 years after the fact, then they must assume I've been around for 20 years and I'm already UP "the ladder". Follow me? Which then I thought...

3. These people are idiots.

But it was their dime, and there was nothing in the mailings that said "If you would like to stop receiving this crap, please call us at...". So--whatever. I just didn't open anything...threw it all away.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. I'm at work, The Warden at home. Phone rings. Warden answers. It's the COS, "looking for" Ryan H. Turner. My wife, already suspicious of me because of these mailings, thinking I'm going to turn into a disciple of Tom Cruise, calls me post haste at work. What are you going to do about this blah blah blah. Did my wife get a phone number to call the fine COS people back?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Therefore, my answer to her was...

NOTHING. I'm going to do nothing. If they call again, I'll talk to them. Or I don't know...this is a stretch honey bumpkin schnookums. HOW ABOUT GETTING A PHONE NUMBER FOR ME?!?!?

Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh.

Then, the planets aligned themselves, and as I was struggling with a drill rewrite, the COS calls. Lo and behold, I'm home. So last week, I finally, after 20 years of not talking to them, speak to a VERY VERY nice young lady.

NICE LADY: "Soooooo Mr. Turner, how ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRE you?"
ME: "Grrr. What do you want?"
NL: "Well, we're just curious about your mailings we've been sending you."
ME: "Grrr."
NL: "Yes, well...uh,..."
ME: "Well, let's be honest. You guys are wasting lots of dough. I'm not interested in the church, and haven't been in about 20 years. So I'm curious as to how you got my address, and how the heck did you get my phone number, and why are you sending me stuff that's not for someone that's NOT a member of your organization."
NL: "Well these are fannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnntastic questions, and I..."
ME: "And you will take my name of your mailing list and not call me anymore. Seriously. I'm not trying to be rude, believe me. But I'm simply not interested, and I really feel badly that you guys are mailing me what I can only assume are pretty expensive mailings. All I'm doing is throwing them away. Trust me."
NL: "Well thank you Mr. Turner, you do make a good point. (Here's where she tries to hook me...VERY VERY clever...she changes her voice and everything.) You know, I'm going to take care of everything for you. But I...I'm sorry Mr. Turner, but I just have to ask you something. You sound very intelligent (Bing bing bing bing), and you sound really nice (bing bing bing bing). I mean, to be concerned that we're wasting money is pretty cool. So thank you. But you sound sort of familiar with us, and I'm curious, why are you not interested in the church?"
ME: "Because I'm not. And I again really sincerely am not trying to be rude (note: I have GREAT potential to be VERY rude--I'm a 911 expert for crying out loud--and I truly was being Mr. Nice Guy), but my reasons are private. I'm not interested."

So anyway--the call ended very amicably, very polite, and I thought "HOLY CRAP!!!" Sincerely...see above those "bing bing bing bings"? Had I NOT been married, and had I NOT been grounded in life sufficiently in both temporal and spiritual matters, she could have hooked me. Seriously. As a matter of fact, and I'm just being honest, but her charm worked so well that I actually thought that "ohhh man, those Scientologists are pretty nice...that was cool...she was..." Than I hit myself. WTF was I thinking? No offense if you happen to be a Scientologist, but uhhhh. Well, YouTube ain't exactly showing the good side of your church nowadays (hint).

Was the matter done?

OH NO. No no no no...not by a long shot.

Last night, my phone rings. It's 9pm!!!!! A very nice sounding young man as polite as can be from the COS International Address Verification Center (I'm not lying!) called to confirm my address and phone number.

Stunned silence. Remember I said I can be rude on the phone. After 14 years of public safety experience, you learn how to be rather DIRECT on the phone to gain CONTROL of a call. That's what I've been trained to do. I had about 2 seconds to determine what my exact tact was going to be. Was I going to completely unload on this guy? Or was I going to be ultra cool and polite like I was with the previous caller from last week? Or?

I chose or. I was direct, and not friendly. But not rude. Polite. But direct. Very. Sort of like I'm typing. Now. See? You feel it don't you? SAY IT!!!

I said, "I'm sorry, but apparently you're mistaken. I don't need to verify my phone number with you since you ARE on the phone with me, and you DO have my address because you keep mailing your material to me. Now let me be abundantly clear. Take my name off of your list as I instructed the nice lady from last week. I do not want to get your stuff in my mailbox anymore. Are we good?" Boy that guy hopped right to it. "Yessssssss sir yes sir" and he was typing away (I could hear the clicking in the background), and he said, finally, after what sounded like he typed out a short novella on me, "Mr. Turner, I'm very sorry for the confusion. I actually just found the note from the person that talked to you last week. I missed that note. I will take care of this. Give it about 6 weeks before the mailings stop, ok? Just takes a little time to process." NO PROBLEM...thank you thank you...have a nice day, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah...and I hang up.

BACK TO DRILL....

However, just like in a bad informercial....BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!!!!!!

At 9:50pm, MY PHONE RINGS....AGAIN.

It's the COS International Blah Blah Blah...wanting to...YOU GUESSED IT! VERIFY MY PHONE NUMBER AND ADDRESS!!!!

So I said to myself: "Self, shall I unleash the hounds?"
And I answered: "I shall."

Poor guy. The last I heard was....and this is as close to a quote as I can get..."Uh uh uh, I, uh, oh, yes, ahhh, yes, I uh, yes, you don't, oh I see, yes, hahaha, I called you by mistake, my bad, ha, buh bye." Click. Boooooooooooo.

He hung up ON ME!

Ain't that just a....

Apparently I rattled the foundation on which my home rests as I read him the riot act to which he, as indicated above, stammered through an apology forthwith.

So there you go. And Tommy, if you're reading this, please, tell your peeps to lay off now. I'm not interested. And don't get me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. I command lots of people that can do bad things with hoses. :-)

I'm out...thanks for reading "As The COS Turns".

Interesting couple of weeks...

2008-08-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

Hi...I'm back...where'd I leave off....

--I have some research that I owe MYSELF about Obama. Don't want friends of mine to think I'm a complete ***hole and publish only half truths and what not about someone. Don't worry--it's in and amongst my list of "things to do".

--Went to a "product demonstration" of what is being referred to as "Next Generation 911". So all youz peoples out there that use your Crackberrys and iPhones and what not--and don't know how to dial 911...well guess what? The ENTIRE EMERGENCY TELEPHONIC INDUSTRY that supports my line of work is developing all new technology so instead of calling 911, you can just send me a video of a call, or a text message requesting help. Geeee...THANKS!!! Well my sarcasm notwithstanding, it sincerely IS a HUGE deal in the world of 911. I got to see two great products that deal with this, and I'm feeling like a really small fish in the big big big ocean of technology. But I'm learning...little by little. And if you're an OCFA ECC employee happening to read this, don't want to scare you. But changes are a'comin'. Probably not tomorrow. But next Monday for sure. :-) (I'm kidding...about the when that is...not the changes. Oh no...they ARE coming.)

--For all you band geeks and drum corps dorks, MUCH is happening in the world that I inhabit...the land of band stuff. My friend Jeff Pearson has stepped down as director of Santa Clara which shocked me at first, but then, realizing he actually has a life outside of drum corps, realized he's probably doing the right thing for his family which I know he cherishes. Other staff changes in the world of drum corps that are less shocking but one RUMOR that has reached me from a very reliable source that says.....well.....how do I say this? Uhhhh...someone that bleeds green may be adding red to that green soon. I'll leave it at that. But IF this rumor is true, it may be even bigger news considering things.

--Speaking of potential of change, I had a chance to meet with some "principles" who are on the road to starting a new and exciting drum corps in the San Diego area. My main focus of our meeting yesterday was to "talk them out of this". I didn't do a very good job. LOL!! But, based on what was told to me, I had a hard time formulating reasons NOT to put together this group after what was told to me about a unique strategy for the organization, the infrastructure that has been quietly (and I mean QUIETLY) put into place, and the awesome potential that I see. So...perhaps I might be given the task of being their "squawk box" and being the town cryer to announce them into existence. But time will tell--I gave them a few things to chomp on over the next month, plus I owe them some other organizational things I have in my files to maybe help talk them out of this foolish idea...lol. Soon enough...but I'm at about an 80% "launch" chance in the next 30-45 days for this organization. Until then though...my lips are sealed. I probably gave too much away already saying what area they're going to be from. And nooooooooooooooooo...this group has NOTHING TO DO with any previous organizations from the San Diego area. That was just in case any thoughts crossed anyone's mind...

--There's a certain band in a certain valley in Southern California that I have VIDEO RECORDED PROOF on my cell phone that is freakin' SCARY GOOD...on the 2nd day of band camp. Reports from this particular band camp is that the kids are "hyper focused" and are extremely hungry for success. Report received from person with 20+ years experience that he truly has NOT ever seen a situation like this, and wants to know if the city the school is in has had something put into the water supply. I would guess...video proof folks. I don't lie. Nor do videos.

--Went to an SCSBOA "field adjudication certification" seminar on Saturday. A little background...really little...after years and years and years of knocking on SCSBOA's door, I was FINALLY granted the right to be a visual performance judge 2 years ago. In the fall of 2006, I jokingly told the judge's scheduler to use me and abuse me. She did. Literally. In my rookie judging year with SCSBOA, I judged 13 shows all over southern California. I also (with one exception from a psychotic band director) received green sheets (the famous SCSBOA green sheet that directors can fill out after a show complaining or commenting on anything that happened...bad food, bad show hosts, bad judges) that actually COMPLIMENTED my judging. I only heard about it 2nd hand and never officially from SCSBOA, but that's what they do (not what I would do for sure), and there you go. First year with them was important to me, and I think I rose to the occasion. As a matter of fact, one school I judged has memorialized the tape I made for them at one of their shows, and I was told it was, in part, played for everyone at their band banquet a couple of years ago. EMBARRASSING but funny. ANYWAY (did I say this was going to be short...DAMMIT TURNER!!!), last season, because of a confluence of scheduling abnormalities and being affiliated with bands, I think I got....uuhhhhh...oh yeah. NO ASSIGNMENTS!!! Weird. I went from one end of the spectrum to the other. In the off season, there was a LOT of talk on and off line about SCSBOA judging (and the judges) not being adequete because there was no means for standardization and "training". SCSBOA assigned just-retired world famous band director John Vorwald to be the Judges Administrator for SCSBOA, and he/they came up with a "certification" procedure so that our judges are now "certified". I see the logic. And kudos to Paul Bluto who came ULTRA PREPARED for his visual certification seminar. With all due respect, I didn't expect much, and got a lot. Trent Newton, my old trombone section leader at Cal State Long Beach did a pretty dang good job of G.E. stuff as well. So why'd I talk about all of this? Because I got certified--I think--for visual, but they denied me for G.E., opting to use the old "you gotta be a band director to talk about it" reason, which of course is completely and utterly assinine as I am a professional show designer and a moderately successful musician who can speak intelligently to both music and visual aspects of a show BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I DO...but hey. I know...there's gotta be a line somewhere. And anyway, he did tell me if SCSBOA splits the G.E. caption into music and visual as seperate sheets, that I'll be "more than qualified" to do the visual effect caption. Gee...great. So...we'll see just how many assignments I get. There seemed to be a LOT of people at this event--and maybe SCSBOA won't be hurting for quality judges anytime this year like they have in recent years. We'll see--I still dig the judging thing. I'll be back in Illinois judging in September. VERY much looking forward to that.

--Last year, I was able to judge for MBOS. Earlier in my blog...like...LAST YEAR...I crowed about being able to share press box space with luminaries like the Dorrities, etc, etc. I loved judging for MBOS. I actually love MBOS in general terms. However, I have a sneaky suspicion I may not have been exactly what they were looking for. I remember having to be "talked to" about some of my scores being a tad inconsistent in terms of spread and "cause and effect" between subcaptions (which I truly did understand--just didn't realize the scrutiny factor was that high). I also got one "bad" comment (unknown if I got any good) from a director that was concerned I may have come across as sounding "mad" on my tape. I've been told that over the years in my teaching as well that due to my intensity of voice and passion for the activity, I get a little, ohhhh...high strung. It's NEVER mad. But it can be interpreted that way. ANYWAY...instead of getting any judging assignments with MBOS, I am announcing for them. So, at least I can help that way. It's just that when you've been announcing for what is it...25 years...it starts to get a tad old. Especially when you're handed AIR GRAMS!!!!!! Don't get me started about THAT subject.....good LORD!

--Family is well...my 5 month old Benjamin Wallace (sounds sort of like a basketball player's name...hahahaha...oh wait...that IS a basketball players name) decided about 2 weeks ago that he likes to wake up at 4am to sing Italian arias! Now, I'm all about protecting children from child abuse, but this kid is REALLY STARTING TO PUSH MY BUTTONS!!! I mean...look at him...

...laying there, all cute...giving me the stink eye...ahhhh, to heck with it. I think I'll keep him around a little longer. Whenever I go out with him, he's a chick magnet!!

Other kids are fine...AND QUIET for the love of...

DCI The Cavaliers 2004 Program- 007

2008-08-15T19:06:00.001-07:00

So...this is where drill design has come in about 20 years...the person that wrote this drill (for all you non-drum corps blog readers) is a freakin' GENIUS. Watch how things develop...

Another Phantom Wins Video....

2008-08-12T09:57:00.000-07:00

I don't know who this doof is that filmed this--heh. I guess I shouldn't call him a doof since I'm embedding his video in my blog. But--this is the moment during the announcing of scores last Saturday at DCI, as recorded from the backsideline. So you can see (through the doof's TERRIBLE filming ability) how big the crowd is and hear the reaction to Blue Devils getting 2nd.

BEDLAM. All the people you see running around hugging each other are staff members of Phantom Regiment.

2008-08-10T22:25:00.000-07:00

OK...well, here's the closer for the band I have been writing for back in Illinois. I really have not figured out the sound issue like I previously led you to believe. I'm sorry. I'm a liar. I'm using Camstasia Studio 4, which is supposed to be IT when it comes to screen recording. I'm quickly losing my patience. ANYWAY--you can look at the pretty shapes. It's all to John Meehan's "The Garden" production--speaking of which, John Meehan is now a friend on Facebook. I'm tickled.

Truly.

Ahhhhhite...here's the drill....

ANNOUNCEMENT OF PHANTOM'S SCORE

2008-08-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

Here is a bootleg copy of a video taken last night during the announcement of scores--this is to verify the fact the crowd went absolutely NUTS for Phantom....watch....and learn....what drum corps is all about!!!

PHANTOM REGIMENT WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-08-10T06:56:00.000-07:00

In what can only be described as not only the upset of the century, but certainly a wish come true for drum and bugle corps fans across the world, last night, at the Drum Corps International World Championships in Bloomington, Indiana, the perpetual "bridesmaid" in the drum corps activity came from a 3rd place finish in quarter finals and a 2nd place finish in semi's to squeak by a nearly invincible Blue Devils to win the coveted World Championships with a score of 98.125. The Blue Devils were only .025 behind with a score of 98.100. For my readers who wouldn't know a drum and bugle corps if it smacked you upside the head, I invite you to take a moment to look back in my blog to a few "clips" I've posted of drum and bugle corps, most notably the recent clip of the 1988 Madison Scouts. I have always described drum and bugle corps to non-music people as "marching band on steroids". In any event, last night was a battle between two corps whose style and approach to show design and programming are about as different as two groups could get. I don't think I'll waste vast amounts of time trying to describe those differences--my drum corps and marching band friends "get it". An amazing night of drum corps last night back in Bloomington--all the while I was sitting in the Command Center in Irvine, California saving cats in trees.

Yippee.

Heard from a friend from long-ago yesterday that put a gigantic smile on my face. And to think she reads this crap....thanks for "checking in" MYD (I don't know what to put to replace the "D", so you'll just have to go with it for now).

The drama at my workplace is pretty incredible as of late. I have found out something about me. As I have gotten older, and have had kids, and have gone through several "ringers" in my life where priorities become crystalized for me in ways I never would have been able to do by myself, I find "drama" in the workplace to be particularly irritating. I simply don't have time for it. But unfortunately, based on my title, apparently I can be irritated all day long because that's what happens in the workplace. ANY workplace. But boy, I'm tellin' ya. The day that people can approach a problem calmly, rationally, and by looking at the freakin' BIG PICTURE instead of the myopic "what's in it for me" way I've been seeing, it will be a GREAT day at the OCFA.

Pipe dream, Turner!! PIPE DREAM!!!

Well that's about it for now. Working on the closing production for a major band back in Illinois, and I'll get that posted up. In case anyone cares, I figured out what the sound issue was that I had with my previous clips of drill design. Had to do with the bit rate of the MP3 that I was using. It usually comes in 128 bit rate. I have to UPgrade that bit rate to 192 for my animation program to "hear it" so I can synch the music and the movement. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...I get it.

NOT.

WTF is a bit rate?

See, I come from the days of turning on an amp, turning on a record player, dropping a needle, and OUT COMES THE FREAKIN' MUSIC. Now you have to have an AA in Computer Science to run your life anymore.

Ain't that the truth. Alright...that's about it. Oh hey....one more thing. You feeling adventurous? Go to my Facebook account...

http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=657885846

It's like Myspace....but for adults. It's actually pretty cool. Sort of addicting. In a strange sort of way. I actually found my very first girlfriend who now works and lives in England of all places. Small world.

Alright...I'm out. You should be to.

And then I grew up....

2008-08-06T20:56:00.000-07:00

And this is just a real fast snippet of my opening announcement for the Kingsmen Alumni Corps at the Rose Bowl in the summer of 2007...just a tad better...

Me announcing...

2008-08-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

This is back in 1989. I had just been hired as THE marching instructor for the Arcadia High Apache Marching Band. Dean Elder, who was the drill designer for VK back in 1985, wrote the drill. And this video clip I accidentally found on YouTube plays a very nervous Ryan H. Turner doing the opening announcement for Arcadia.

BOY I SUCKED!!!

Here's more drill...

2008-08-02T20:45:00.000-07:00

Well--the sound came over, albeit BARELY--there's something wrong. But anyway, for you marching band geeks and drum corps dorks, here's my 2nd drill of the season--also posted on YouTube under my VKDM8687 pseudonym.

This is just wrong...but dang it...

2008-07-28T23:51:00.001-07:00

IT'S FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNY!!!! I can't stop laughing.........there's something very wrong with me. Please send help.

I can't go to sleep until I share this...

2008-07-28T23:18:00.000-07:00

I swear in the last 10 years, my world has become unbelievably small. Or large. Depending how you look at it. Quick memory trip--In summer of 1986, after I came home from my first year as drum major touring with the ORIGINAL Velvet Knights, I signed up for a year of music education fun and frolicking at CSULB. I ended up comparing schedules with a friend of mine that I had gone to PCC with, Rich Melville, and we ended up getting into all kinds of trouble together, but more important, we carpooled from Pasadena/San Marino to CSULB every day. Or thereabouts. I would drive from my house in Pasadena down to his nice posh neighborhood, park, and then get in his little Toyota truck and buzz down to school, all the while, Rich instructed me on the finer points of Metallica, Iron Maiden, speed metal, death metal, smoking pot, and uhhhh...well...some of the strange things he would do. Time is what it is, and life goes on. Last I heard from Rich was maybe 10 to 12 years ago when I had stopped by a mutual friend's house in Pasadena who I've talked about on this blog before--a stellar musician himself--Lou "Give Me A Reason, Turner!!!" Tartadian. I think I recall Lou was on the phone with him when I walked in and I said "Hi" and that was about it. Rich was living somewhere in Los Angeles at the time.

GET TO THE POINT TURNER---FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!!

Sorry....

I always feel like I have to set things up, hanh?

ANYWAYS...I joined Facebook and have been pretty amazed at the people that are signing up and becoming "my friend" through Facebook. TONS better than that swill called MySpace. But anyway--TODAY...out of the blue...one of the world's GREATEST trumpet players and I'm proud to say a friend of mine from WAY back, Tim Divers, became "my friend". COOOL! As per the custom on Facebook, you look at your new friends friends and see if you know any of THEIR friends, and then you ask them to be YOUR friend and so it goes. I personally think Facebook is setting us up to be the biggest Amway distributorship in the world--but that's another story.

So...I'm looking through Tim's friends, and find Rich Melville, my old commuting/drinking/partying/jazz band playing in friend. Yeah...so I send him a friend invite, next thing I know, he's commenting on that STUPID picture of me in that STUPID dog costume (see my Facebook account for more information), and of course, he brings up an inside joke between us that I hadn't thought of IN YEARS..."Beware the Zarconians." It's a complicated story I'll not bother you with...

ANYWAY...so I do a little investigating on HIS profile, and find out that the sucker is living in GREECE, and is in a rockband that's fronted by Gene Simmons' younger brother Serge...well ok ok, I kid. Sure looks like a relative of Gene Simmons to me. BUT WHO AM I!!!?? So...without further ado...please, take a moment, as I introduce American citizens to the hit Greece rock/polka/death metal conglomerate known as...DICKEN'S ZOO!!!

:-/

Uhhh...well...at least they aren't called The Zarconians.

(Just in case you think I'm being sarcastic, I personally think this is VERY cool to see Rich after all of these years....on Greek television...singing....in Greek. I knew he was talented...but this is IT!!! Oh...he's the sax player...)

And now for a quick break...

2008-07-26T21:24:00.001-07:00

THIS still gets to me--20 years after it happened!!! Now THAT'S staying power!!

Clarification...

2008-07-26T12:34:00.000-07:00

Someone--anonymously--left a message saying the post below dealing with taxes is downright false, and left an address to go see why. Well, fat fingers here accidentally deleted the comment. So whoever is anonymous leaving messages, could you repeat the link please so I can go investigate why you are claiming what I posted below is false.

Secondly--and I'm embarrassed for not verifying--but that freakin' link below does NOT work for CNN. So I have to do some research because I RELIED ON A SOURCE and I shouldn't have. So...worst case...maybe anonymous is right, and I'm regurgitating bad info about Obama.

SEE?!??!?! I'm reasonable, aren't I? I'm not rabid, and spitting and stomping and saying I'm right and you're wrong...but I am pissed at ME for not being better prepared.

I bet you'll see more info on this from me soon enough...well...it keeps people coming back to my blog, hanh? And to think--I'm not posting about marching band, drum corps, or the fire department!!!! LOL!!!

Why do I not like Obama?

2008-07-26T08:32:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine through Facebook wanted me to account for my recent Obama rant by asking a relatively simple question--What don't I like about him? He's charismatic, he's a great speaker, he's got people swooning to him, he's "against the war in Iraq" (I put that into quotes because I haven't heard exactly WHY he's against it--it's just the current "buzzword" to get people to say "Yeah yeah yeah--that's right, ME TOO! I'm against it!!"), etc, etc. He's a man that was able to go to a foreign country and get 200,000 people to come to a speech. A speech that I'm not sure had any "purpose" other than to...uhhhh...well, I don't know. Was it a campaign speech in a foreign country? Why??? Germans don't vote for us do they? Was he there as a senator? Well--uhhhh...if he was, WHY? Was he there as a president? Uhhhh...sure seemed like it. But he's not. So--there's a certain "strangeness" that's hard to put my finger on, but I'm certainly not the only one to see it, or more importantly, FEEL it. To me, he's bamboozling the HELL out of everyone that listens to him. There's a VAST surge of this irrational EMOTIONALISM that is based on his concept of "CHANGE". CHANGE WHAT?!?!?!? That's what bothers me. He speaks in platitudes, he speaks out of both sides of his mouth, yet, it gets glossed over by starry eyed reporters that are too weak, too limp and not adhering to journalistic standards to get him to respond and defend his positions which seem to flip flop about.

But I guess MY biggest issue outside of this massive irrationality by my fellow Americans....or Germans for that matter....is the tax issue. I come from the land of "fruits and nuts" and am paying taxes for things that I think I don't really need to be paying taxes for. I'm lucky though I don't live in Los Angeles city proper. They're getting taxed--or about to be--FOR PLASTIC BAGS! Come on...please...but MY issue is pretty simple. We are being lied to by the people that should be working FOR US. Politicians CONTINUALLY tell us that we're "out of money" and we need to "increase revenues" (fancy pants talk for increase taxes--but that's not politically expedient to actually SAY increase taxes). They tell us that we need more taxes on gas, we need a toll lane on our freeways, that we need to do this, do that, pay here, pay there. ENOUGH!!!

If I am, as a halfway responsible American am to be able to live within my means, balance my checkbook, plan for my future, keep my finances straight, manage my household, and be "productive", well then DAMMIT ALL SO SHOULD THE POLITICIANS THAT ARE IN OFFICE!!! Our own state government, run by a has-been actor, is actually considering SLASHING THE PAY OF 200,000 CALIFORNIA STATE EMPLOYEES TO MINIMUM WAGE WITH A PROMISE TO PAY LATER WHAT THEIR NORMAL SALARY IS (RETROACTIVELY OF COURSE) BECAUSE THEY CAN'T FREAKIN' DECIDE ON A FREAKIN' BUDGET!!!! Wait a second. So...if I can't figure out MY budget, can I just go ahead and arbitrarily decide to stop paying my bills, and tell maybe Time Warner Cable or So Cal Edison or National City Credit "Hey--my wife and I are having some disagreement about our budget so I'll just get back to you with a payment when we get things figured out." That sounds like BULLcrap, doesn't it. That's EXACTLY what our politicians are telling us. BUT WAIT TURNER--what the heck does that have to do with taxes? Because these are the same knuckleheads that tell us they need MORE MONEY because they can't manage what they already have. See the vicious cycle?

I'm done with it. Really. We have a state infrastructure that is FAILING, and everyone is so racially sensitive that calling a spade a spade is so taboo that we FAIL in taking care of our OWN legal citizens. My roads wouldn't suck, my schools wouldn't suck, my taxes wouldn't be so high, my hospitals wouldn't be either closing or be FULL of people that can't pay if, ohhhhhh, I don't know...WE STOPPED ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION YA THINK!!!??? Human rights is one thing, sovereignty of one's country is another. And yeah...I know I just misspelled sovereignty. But you know what I mean. Soooooooooooooooooooooooo....

Why don't I like Obama? Read the following--now that you just read my rant:

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: INTERESTING INFO ON TAXES

You can verify much of this here: http://money.cnn.com/news/specials/e...008/index.html
Of course, you may have noted that Obama's position appears to be changing, so you will have to pay attention to see what his latest approach is at buying votes.

INTERESTING DATA JUST RECEIVED ON TAXES
This is something you should be aware of so you don't get blind-sided. This is really going to catch a lot of families off guard. It should make you worry. Proposed changes in taxes after 2008 General Election:

CAPITAL GAINS TAX
MCCAIN
0% on home sales up to $500,000 per home (couples). McCain does not propose any change in existing home sales income tax.
OBAMA
28% on profit from ALL home sales
How does this affect you? If you sell your home and make a profit, you will pay 28% of your gain on taxes. If you are heading toward retirement and would like to down-size your home or move into a retirement community, 28% of the money you make from your home will go to taxes. This proposal will adversely affect the elderly who are counting on the income from their homes as part of their retirement income.

DIVIDEND TAX
MCCAIN 15% (no change)
OBAMA 39.6%
How will this affect you? If you have any money invested in stock market, IRA, mutual funds, college funds, life insurance, retirement accounts, or anything that pays or reinvests dividends, you will now be paying nearly 40% of the money earned on taxes if Obama becomes president. The experts predict that 'Higher tax rates on dividends andcapital gains would crash the stock market, yet do absolutely nothing to cut the deficit.

INCOME TAX
MCCAIN (no changes)
Single making 30K - tax $4,500
Single making 50K - tax $12,500
Single making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 60K- tax $9,000
Married making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 125K - tax $31,250
OBAMA (reversion to pre-Bush tax cuts)
Single making 30K - tax $8,400
Single making 50K - tax $14,000
Single making 75K - tax $23,250
Married making 60K - tax $16,800
Married making 75K - tax $21,000
Married making 125K - tax $38,750
Under Obama, your taxes will more than double!!!!! How does this affect you? No explanation needed. This is pretty straight forward.

INHERITANCE TAX
MCCAIN 0% (No change, Bush repealed this tax)
OBAMA Restore the inheritance tax.
How does this affect you? Many families have lost businesses, farms, ranches and homes that have been in their families for generations because they could not afford the inheritance tax. Those willing their assets to loved ones will only lose them to these taxes.

NEW TAXES BEING PROPOSED BY OBAMA

New government taxes proposed on homes that are more than 2400 square feet.
New gasoline taxes (as if gas weren't high enough already)
New taxes on natural resources consumption (heating gas, water, electricity)
New taxes on retirement accounts, and last but not least....
New taxes to pay for socialized medicine so we can receive the same level of medical care as other third-world countries!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm back...so as you can see--if you actually took the time to read the above--that we are in for a rude awakening. That's why I say "Obama must be stopped". This is ridiculous. To think that we responsible Americans are being asked to give up more NOT for anything worthy, but because THEY can't manage what they have is simply tooooooooooooooooooo much to ask of me. I'm all about being fair and I'm all about being accountable. So if I HAVE TO BE...so should they...they being the very government servants that we voted in. If you want to vote for Obama, go ahead. Fine. If you have anything concrete you can hook on to when it comes to Obama other than pulling the troops out of Iraq (which incidentally will happen anyway), go for it. But for the reasons above, as well as his indefensible behavior and attitude towards the military on this recent roadtrip, I will NOT support him...and I will do what I can to STOP him.Legally of course.(Side note to my friend from Facebook...politics is a tricky thing to talk about, and I may seem overly fired up. But California is a ____hole compared to when you were growing up here. I have a little vested interest in my state and I'm sorry I get/got riled up. And believe me...5 years ago, I barely cared. But I do now.)

And by the way--just so I don't get "labeled" as ranting and raving right winging conservative, WHICH THANK GOD I'M NOT, I plan on in the next few days of releasing the hounds on John "I'm pissed off and I may have my finger on the nuke launch button soon" McCain. You think Obama is bad.

You ain't seen NOTHING yet.

Geeeeeeeesh!!!

2008-07-25T14:45:00.000-07:00

Geeesh is my term that I use sometimes that keeps me from invoking other less-than-favorable colorful metaphors ($1 to "just-a-damn-minute-admiral" Spock). But I think I have now reached the very limits of my ability to hold on to my emotions. Let me ask you a question.

If I said the following to you either here or in person, what's your FIRST response:

Barack Obama MUST be stopped.

Did you get a strange reaction right then? Did you think maybe I'm losing my marbles? Or I'm beginning to plot his demise? I'm not. But boy, the more I read and hear about this guy, the more I become seriously, seriously concerned about the very future of this country. I suggest you look into this if you care.

And I can't say with any sense of seriousness that McCain is all that great either.

I can't believe how political I've become in my old age. Amazing...check out my Facebook account, and apparently I've gone from the right to being a libertarian. And I didn't even know it. Actually, I'm not just a little libertarian. I'm a freakin' DYED IN THE WOOL libby.

Amazing...I bet my friend from high school, Jim Little, who was the first to teach me about political parties, is chuckling to himself.

Another day....

2008-07-25T07:45:00.000-07:00

I'm still at the Southern Operations Command Center (South Ops) for another 12-hours handling hundreds of requests or "orders" and facilitating things. It's not that it's particulary mind-bending difficult, but it is intensive, especially when it gets busy. Filling a crucial need in one of the many spokes of the Fire Service. I was just commenting yesterday to my room full of captive audience members that when I first started dispatching for fire about 14 years ago, I had NO idea the full scope of the fire service. It is SO much more than just someone calling 911 and people coming to squirt the wet stuff on the hot stuff (which...really...sounds sort of...uhhh...odd). But seriously, it's amazing to me. It's what the general public has absolutely NO clue of. You read/hear/see the stories of the 2000+ fires in northern California and you know there are people up there fighting them. But what is NOT known is how those people got there, the incredible amount of coordination it takes, the money and politics involved, the technology, the training...it's all amazing to me. I don't understand a lot of it, but I KNOW about it. And just this morning, talking with one of the dispatchers here, apparently the LA Times will be starting a multipart series on "large fires" on July 27th. She worked the gigantic "Zaca Fire" last year, and stated that LA Times reporters were fishing around for stuff at that incident. She thinks this series coming up is going to be critical of the fire service here in southern California. On top of that, I know for a fact that the Orange County Register has been sniffing around the OCFA for info relating to salaries, because you know, we must make TOO much money.

This is what gets me--the media is able to zero in on one tiny portion of a GIGANTIC picture and make this tiny portion THE ISSUE of the year. Stupid. STUUUUUUUUUUUPID. I will DEFINITELY be sharpening my fangs for a rebuttal should either newspaper go down the route I think they'll be going down. "Ohhhhhh Ryan, what would we do without you and your rebuttals!!?"

Whatever...

In other news--my wife and 3 children have left me. Yep...I'm without my family. Or my Fam Damily as we like to refer to ourselves. Anyway, they're getting on a plane and flying to Seattle to go see G'Ma and G'Pa. Fun stuff. Good for them. And then in August, we're having a "family reunion" of sorts....in....what could possibly be considered the hottest spot on the planet during August. Yeah...LAS VEGAS. Geeeeeeee, let's have a reunion in August and go to the place where we can all spontaneous combust. Something about a timeshare condo deal that will make it all very very cheap. Sure. Cheap to house multiple piles of human ashes I'm sure.

In drum corps news...there is no news. Other than last night's seedings came out...

01 93.05 (3) - Blue Devils
02 91.60 (2) - The Cadets
03 91.25 (4) - The Cavaliers
04 90.40 (3) - Carolina Crown
05 89.90 (3) - Phantom Regiment
06 89.15 (1) - Santa Clara Vanguard
07 89.00 (2) - Bluecoats
08 86.00 (1) - Boston Crusaders
09 85.75 (2) - Blue Knights
10 83.40 (2) - Glassmen
11 82.90 (2) - Blue Stars
12 82.65 (1) - Crossmen
13 80.90 (1) - Colts
14 80.05 (3) - Spirit
15 79.70 (2) - Madison Scouts
16 78.55 (1) - Troopers
17 78.25 (3) - Pacific Crest
18 77.80 (1) - The Academy
19 75.45 (3) - Mandarins
20 71.15 (2) - Pioneer

I have seen a sum total of ZERO shows this year, although I did catch a run-through at a rehearsal by Pacific Crest in mid June. Blue Devils this year by all accounts is unbelievable with a show that is so unique and out of the norm that it's causing peoples' heads to explode. The next 6 corps are duking it out, and I'm very sorry to report that SCV is NOT doing what I hope it would do, and that's scare the crap out of everyone and turn on the afterburners. I have heard reports as I indicated yesterday that they have THE show this year, but it's a case of taking too big a bite, and the kids just aren't there yet. I LOVE SCV--and I only hope as I hope every year that they come out of the funk they're in and just WALLOP people. I've grown tired of Cadets pushing the envelope of what's acceptable in drum corps and tired of the Cavaliers. My other favorite corps, Phantom Regiment, whose "Spartacus" show is causing quite the stir what with a great hornline (as usual--16 CONTRAS!!--ohhhhhhhh my!), amazing drum line...AND KILLING SLAVES ON THE FIELD! You gotta love it. If SCV can't do what I want them to do, than I would bestow my desires with PR as my second favorite "spoiler" corps. But I'm thinking that Blue Devils are so far ahead of everyone that it's a foregone conclusion they'll take it. What I find sooooooooo refreshing and fantastic is Carolina Crown playing in the Top 6. Their hornline apparently is PHENOMENAL, which is understandable. When they did their "Angelus" show a few years back, they opened with a fanfare that had to me about 30 seconds of the VERY best brass sound I literally have ever heard on the field. It was comparable to Cavaliers 92 show at the end of "Waterloo" which I believe had the most in-tune major chord on G bugles I had ever heard up to and ever since!! It just SMACKED you in the face, and it was LOUD--but it was loud because it was IN TUNE!!! Anyway--I know by now any fire department people reading this have long since passed out from boredome--that's the drum corps scene for now.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh yeah...there's Open Class to worry about too. I don't have much to talk about them other than I was SORELY disappointed to hear that Gold from Hawthorne, California was NOT going back to Nationals. THAT SUCKS!! I've been a fan of Gold's because they are a "model" of what drum corps CAN be, and that's an organization that receives support and funding from a school district. Interesting--something I've squawked about up on Drum Corps Planet as being a viable way to possibly start MORE corps giving MORE kids an opportunity to have what I had when I was in corps back in the mid-80's.

HOWEVER...and this is a BIG however...I've squawked about regionalization before regionalization became a buzz word in drum corps circles. I cannot for the life of me understand why an organization, Drum Corps International to be exact, would expect drum corps' to do gigantic national tours that are very very expensive and man-power INtensive. To get a group of 128-150 performers across the country to play at shows almost every night or every other night is a MONUMENTAL undertaking. When I was in Velvet Knights, we would leave the 2nd week of July, and finals would be the THIRD WEEK OF AUGUST!!! I was on the road for 6 weeks...and that was AFTER what we called "first tour" which was a California/Arizona and sometimes New Mexico "leg" to start the season off. Of course, gas was cheap. And DCI HAS done the "right thing" by decreasing the summer season and having finals the first weekend of August. BUT STILL...so here's Turner's plan for regionalization that would provide PLENTY of performance opportunities for corps, AND still have a World Championships.

You start by dividing the country back into 4 quadrants. DCI-Pacific (California, Arizona, Colorado, Wyoming, Oregon, Nevada, Washington, Utah, New Mexico, and Idaho), DCI-South (Texas, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Carolina-both, Oklahoma, Louisiana), DCI-Central (from Nebraska to Minnesota, down to Missouri, Kansas, Ohio, Wisconsin, Iowa), DCI-East (Tennessee, Virginia, the east coast and north east). I won't break down the number of corps in each quad, but my cursory overview says that there's MORE than enough in each quadrant. Within those quadrants, you will have WEEKEND SHOWS ONLY for the first 4 weeks of the season, starting in June, and going until the middle of July. During the last two weeks, you have a "regional championship", with semis and finals, and whoever makes finals, will qualify for a national tour. During the next 2 weeks, those "qualifiers" than go on a "national tour" with maybe not so many shows, but BIGGER shows, ending with a national championship that will only have the very best in a simple, 2 day, semi final and final format. Allow the regions to be in effect the "quarterfinals", and take the financial pressure off of the corps to HAVE to go on a national tour only to do what? GO TO QUARTERS? That's silly.

I think my plan will also open the gates to allow MORE corps to be created because they won't have the huge cloud over their heads of national responsibilities, and give them obtainable, realistic, and WORTHY goals of going to their REGIONAL championships.

This is a bare bone idea, and no, I haven't scoped it out more. But in the parallel universe of all-age corps, Drum Corps Associates (DCA), where weekend shows ARE the norm, they are having an influx of new corps being created, there is FUN in the circuit, they're getting crowds, and hey...it's all about entertainment and competition, right? PLENTY of that in DCA without the huge financial burdens. Quality may not be at DCI level, but it sort of proves the notion that there's a strong fan base for good quality FUN drum corps that DOESN'T require the continual pushing of visual and musical envelopes.

So saith The H, so shall it be. I wonder if Dan Acheson reads my blog?

I am VERY happy to report...

2008-07-24T12:47:00.001-07:00

....that as of lunch this day, Shakey's Pizza Thin and Crispy Pepperoni STILL KICKS ASS 35 YEARS LATER!!!!!!

I love you Shakey's. Thank you for not giving in to the gooey massive messes like Domino's and Pizza Slut's. And thank you....oh GOD thank you...for keeping those Mojo's!!!

You haven't lived until you've down a few of those...

Ron Hoar, Drum Corps, and FIRES!!!!

2008-07-24T10:49:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone--how y'alllllll doin? Well, by the power of my amazing skills of deduction, perserverance, and just straight out investigative prowess, I was able to bring to my dull existence a bit of sunlight....that is, I am "on assignment" out at the Southern Operations Command Center and assisting the California Department of Forestry Fire (CAL Fire) and the USFS Fire with manpower coordination across the state. This 14-day assignment as I referred to earlier in my blog is what we call in the fire biz "mutual aid". So in essence I stopped being an employee of the Orange County Fire Authority, and am now an employee of CAL Fire. It's a win-win situation. I get to learn a software program called ROSS (Resource Ordering and Status System) which basically is a nation-wide "ordering" program allowing fire departments to order equipment and personnel from anywhere in the country (and there are about 1,298,745 1/2 rules that govern this process!!!). I also get to meet new people and do exciting things! Ok, I'm being sort of a smart ass. I sit in a room for 12 hours a day with other folks from literally all over the country and....well....we coordinate and facilitate all day long. And kibbitz in between. Sort of cool. Interesting. I'm learning a lot, but I'm also realizing one thing in particular. But the sunshine I speak of is that I was able to access wireless internet, so now I can continue my search for the elusive END OF THE INTERNET as my friends sometimes say I am on a quest to find.

I'm sort of a "social butterfly" and I love to talk to other people, especially about their own dispatch centers or work places. OCFA, while nowhere perfect, sure looks better to me when I do these type of assignments. We really do have our act together in many respects. Amazes me some of the crap that people put up with in their own departments. But everyone and every organization has a hill to climb, hanh? I know we do. And please, for any fire department folks reading this, I do NOT speak from lofty heights. I'm just acknowledging that I'm in a good place.

So...who is Ron Hoar? Ron was a world famous band director here in southern California. He was an ex-Marine, and started (if I'm not mistaken) the Arcadia High School Apache Marching Band in 1959. For people that read this that may not know the significance of this, Arcadia is probably one of the most successful and currently largest marching band in all of the country--if not definitely California. People in the world of marching band judge the "success" of bands usually by equating placement at "Grand Nationals" at the annual Bands of America band orgy in Indiana. I don't. And Arcadia doesn't either. ANYWAY, I'm feeling like I'm about to tangentasize. Ron started the band and created a POWERHOUSE band--using his skills learned in the military, he made Arcadia practically unbeatable on the street for many years. That tradition continued after he left the school in 1973, and does so now with a great director (and lucky to say a FRIEND of mine) Tom Landes.

Another long-time friend and legendary band director in southern California, John Hausey (yes to all my old Pasadena High School Marching Band cronies that read this--yes...THAT John Hausey), is married to a composer, Collette, who was commissioned to write a march in honor of Ron Hoar who passed away a few years ago. I'm just overjoyed that a man of Ron's stature and accomplishments is being honored in this way. I was able to work with Ron at Pasadena City College back in the 80's and early 90's, and I was fortunate to be able to learn a lot from him. If I had ever jumped into the deep end of the band directing pool, I would have used HIM as my mentor and model. So...good job to John and Collette...and here's to you Ron...I'm sure you're in heaven trading war stories with Truman Crawford!

DRUM CORPS!!! Ohhhhhhhhhhh that wonderful wacky world of drum corps. It's just amazing how every year, things are new, yet, still the same. This is the first season in about 20 years that I was not able to announce ANY drum corps shows at all--and it's been VERY strange to say the least. Carolina Crown is bumping up against the big boys, recently beating Phantom Regiment and Cadets, and beating the Blue Devils IN MUSIC!! Gooooooooooood GRIEF!!! They are an amazing organization. One of my favorite drum corps, Academy from Arizona, for some reason is languishing and not nearly as good as last year, if scores were to be my guide. I haven't had the pleasure to see them this year, and I hope this is just a blip. They have an amazing staff (except for one person...grrrr....) and I hear that the music is absolutely hellaciously DIFFICULT this year. Santa Clara Vanguard, really and truly my most FAVORITE corps on the planet, is also having a tough time getting all pistons firing this season. By all reviews, it sounds like 80% of the show is absolutely kick ass, and the remaining 20% is like an after-thought. I'm friends with their Program Coordinator, Mike McCool. I think I'm gonna have to bug him for some info. He's a genius. He's usually calm under pressure. Maybe he knows something.

Another juicy bit of news...I got an email from a friend who shall remain nameless that is, if I'm reading this right, starting a ball rolling for the creation of a new drum corps. Why he wants to talk to me, I have no idea. But as soon as I'm able to actually TALK on my phone (difficult to do where I am versus typing), I will find out what's happening.

Well...that's just about it from here. Hope all is well out wherever you are. And thanks for reading...I will try to update more as I now know the secret of getting on the internet where I am in my bunker. Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha...

Now get outta here.

First drill for 2008...

2008-07-17T09:40:00.000-07:00

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING!!! This is my first drill for the season, but I have to apologize. There is NO sound. I used Camstasia Studio 4 to record my screen, and coded this as a Quicktime movie and then saved it to my computer. There is an option in CS4 that says "Do you want to record the sound that's coming from your computer?" I of course do, because when I animate drill using my Pyware 3D Java 3.1.1, I synch it up to .wav or .mp3 or MIDI files. For whatever reason, it didn't code the sound, even though during the processing period the software specifically stated it was "Compressing Audio Now". Rat bastard software. ANYWAY, just pretend you can hear music. And if you're "in the know" to current marching band music, this drill was written to John Meehan's "The Garden" opener, which is called "Anthill". Yeah--that would be same music I wrote for a certain band last year that took 2nd place in the state but fired me anyway.

Ahhhh...life of a drill designer. Whadda ya know, hanh? Anyway--I've come to realize (in all honesty--and no, I'm not mad!!!) that out of EVERYTHING that goes into the creation of a field show for either drum corps or marching band, the DRILL DESIGN is THE SINGLE MOST SUBJECTIVE ELEMENT. Bar none. You can have rifles spinning rifles up their noses, drummers with drum sticks embedded in their foreheads, and music written to sound like the Jordanian Army Band (which I saw perform many moons ago, and I believe I'm still traumatized by what I heard), and yet, the DRILL has to be "perfect". And PERFECT is defined about as differently as I've ever seen a word defined. Beauty, in the case of drill design, is DEFINITELY in the eye of the beholder. The drill designer's job is to figure out, sometimes through psychic intervention, what "beauty" means to the people that hire you.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HA!!!

Got ya. THAT is the secret. ANYWAY, you may not like what I wrote when you watch it, or you may think it's the best thing since sliced bread. What's important though--is that I as the "artist" or designer or whatever you want to call me (dot writer) likes it.

A lot.

In case you were curious...

2008-07-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

That story from my 911 career was written in a moment of clarity I had yesterday while in an email "conversation" with a very good friend of mine who is also in the 911 industry. We both have our battle scars over the years, and I was wanting to relay that story to prove a point--sort of. In any event, after I emailed my friend, I thought it would be cool to throw it up on my blog. I talk so much about drum corps, marching band, and other silly things up on this thing that I thought it would be good balance to at least show--once in awhile--that I actually do have a "serious job" and have been doing it for a good many years. That's all.

And yeah, that day royally sucked for me. And as you can see, it still is and always will be that wound inside that will probably never COMPLETELY heal. But, suffice it to say, we all have those wounds in our history--be it in your career, personal life, love life, whatever--and all it does is make us stronger. Hopefully, that is.

Now, some day I'll tell you about the man who called me on New Year's Eve with a bleeding penis...and what exactly an iguana had to do with it (and no, this has nothing to do with the Madison Scouts...if you don't know what the hell THAT meant, I guess you better read back in my blog, hanh?)

Ciao for now!

A little story from my 911 side of life--sort of sad

2008-07-16T13:43:00.000-07:00

When Sarah was just turning 2, I was still a dispatcher, and we were working in our other dispatch center in the city of Orange. It was a Saturday as I recall, and I was working a position just doing my normal deal. So this had to be back in 2003. I actually think it was in April if I'm not mistaken. Anyway, I got a 911 call from a hysterical mother of a 2 year old girl who she had just pulled from the bottom of their pool. In 911 school, you learn about the term "refreaking", which is where the caller is freaking out, you calm them down (sometimes very forcibly) and get them to do something, and they calm down and do whatever you need them to do, but then they realize "OH MY GOD!!!" and get hysterical again. Unfortunately, while I was attempting CPR on this girl with the mom over the phone, she kept refreaking. A LOT! It was very frustrating. But then it got sad.

Outside of the fact that the despair in the voice of the mom was eating away at my gruff exterior, the response time of units was exceptionally long. This call was taking place in Villa Park, and our Villa Park medic engine was already on a call. We had to mutual aid a paramedic unit from Orange City Fire, but he was responding from out of his roll area. And we had an extended ETA on the ambulance, even though it was rolling Code 3. There was nothing I could do about that other than keep working with the mom. I believe the call lasted about 7 minutes, which for 911 calls, is VERY VERY long, but for me, was forever. And as I was working with the mom, trying to keep her AND MYSELF cool, the fact that the little girl wasn't responding in anyway was a bad sign. She needed ALS, not just CPR. She needed to be shocked, she needed oxygen, she needed someone better at 911 calls than me--well, at least that's what I thought after the call.

Because it was once everyone pulled on scene, seemingly all at once fire engines, medic vans, ambulances and cop cars screeching to a halt in front of the house (I heard it in the background) that I had to go step outside. It was the first time in my 911 career that a call literally got to me in such a profound manner that made me have to take a minute for myself. I went outside to take a walk, and all I could do was think about Sarah. And all I could do, as any public safety employee with a conscience could do, was wonder how I could have done my job better because obviously HAD I done it better, the little girl would have responded and would be awake and talking. It didn't matter that statistics are horrific for situations like this, indicating that a positive outcome was near to impossible. It didn't matter that all the dispatchers in the room clapped for me and said "good job dude" or "Ryan, that was freakin' awesome...you did great." No, it only mattered that I had to beat myself up because I sucked at that 911 call and I just didn't do whatever needed to be done. Though I was shedding some tears of frustration out in the parking lot that afternoon, I really missed Sarah a bunch at that moment. So, Nyleen ended up coming down a half hour later with Sarah and I was able to hang outside with them and just chill. Good medicine to hold your 2 year old princess after a horrific call like that.

Turns out the medics that got on scene did what they call a "scoop and run". No time for ALS treatment on scene--get the kid in the ambulance and get her down to the hospital. But it didn't matter. I found out 2 hours later the little girl didn't make it. This call made a mark on me because I choked up AGAIN just typing that sentence. I guess in public safety, we all have these stories--the near death experiences for a cop, the rescue that wasn't in time for a firefighter, the life of a child that slips away for the paramedic. There's also the calls for the 911 dispatcher that hit home and get remembered and create in oneself a sort of sore, something that gets a scab over it but it doesn't take a lot sometimes to knock off the scab. Anyway, it's a fact of life in 911, or in public safety in general, that you can't save everyone. It doesn't matter how much you want to save someone. It doesn't matter if that person deserves to be saved. It doesn't matter the age. It doesn't matter your will, your training, or your ability. Sometimes, people die.

And yeah, sometimes, they're 2 year old girls.

I guess what makes this story worse is that it didn't have to happen. I found later that the family of 4 had come home after shopping. They had bags of groceries to bring in. They pulled into their drive way and unloaded the kids. One went one way. The other went another. Parents were busy loading groceries and as I've been in this situation a hundred times if not a thousand in my own life, they paid "no never mind" to kids running around. You become immune to that "noise" after awhile. Apparently, there was no more noise after awhile that sounded the alarms got the red flags waving, and the mom went to look for the girl. Asking the husband where the little girl was, she realized something was horribly wrong when the husband said "I thought she was with you." The little girl had gone through the house, out the back door, and straight to the pool, through the unlocked gate. Sad...so sad. It didn't have to happen like that, this senseless death, but it did.

You can't save everybody. You can only do your best.

So there you go--I love swimming, I love going to the pool with my kids at my park--heck, I thought I was part fish when I was kid as I grew up swimming at pools. But to HAVE a pool...I don't know. If I ever buy a house, I probably won't get one with a pool because I'll never forget this story.

You NEVER know...

2008-07-15T11:58:00.000-07:00

When you start receiving text messages from people saying that think your blog is funny, is it safe to say "I HAVE ARRIVED?"

NO???

Great. Still trying to be a great drill writer some day, and apparently, still trying to be a great blog writer.

When will my ship EVER come in!?!?!?!?!?

This past weekend...and other things

2008-07-14T15:04:00.000-07:00

Argh!!! I just realized that my blog is now being treated like a "newsfeed" to my Plaxo network, and so all of those people are reading my most intimate and secret thoughts.

:- /

YEAH WHATEVER TURNER!!!

Hi Plaxo People. Whatever the hell Plaxo is! And when the hell did I sign up for Plaxo!?!?!? I thought I was with Linked In and Facebook and Myspace and and and and...face it. It's all my desperate attempt to get attention--RIGHT RON!?!?!?! (inside joke hidden in an insult hidden in self-deprecation...which is better than self-crapatation, which means I'm pooping on myself).

Speaking of pooping on myself, I need to post the video of Triumph the Insult Dog talking to the geeks in line for Star Wars. Truly a great moment in comedy history.

Speaking of comedy, if you haven't watched Last Comic Standing, you're missing a pretty hip show. I watched it last week after not watching it for awhile. Reality TV game show thing where comics compete and vote each other off. I know--real "lofty" television for me, but it takes my mind off the hell that is my life. Anyway--God's Pottery, the duo comedy team that BUSTED ME UP BIG TIME got freakin' BOOTED. And that non-funny Korean chick is STILL ON THE SHOW!!! I freakin' HATE reality TV...and here I am, TOTALLY absorbed by this crapheap. WTF is wrong with me? Hello, Psychologists-'R-Us, yes, do you have any openings today?

Speaking of today, had a nice lunch with a friend from work that marched in the Villa Park HS Spartan Brigade Marching Yahoo's back in the early 70's at the same time my goofball brother was marching at Pasadena High School. He remembers PHS from back then, but he admits, he remembers little because of all the...uh...well...uh...because of the...well, you know. IT WAS 70's for God's sakes...

Speaking of God, why does He hate me so much? He doesn't? Oh good. That's great. Just fantastic. I feel better already.

Speaking of dreaming--the So Cal Dream All-Age Drum and Bugle Corps out of....hell, I STILL don't know what city they're from...scored about 3 millimeters lower than the highly vaulted and talented and touted San Francisco Renegades in a local contest this past season. I was very happy for my former corps that I used to write for who apparently don't miss me at all and wonder "RYAN WHO?" Anyway...I was really happy for them. They've come a long way baby, apparently with better drill now! DOH!!!

Speaking of drill, I came home last night after doing a 12-hour shift at the Southern Operations Command Center in Riverside, California where I assisted USFS and Cal Fire coordinating manpower. YES YES YES--I know, I work for Orange County Fire. But there's this thing called "mutual aid" I described in an earlier post that allows for experts (NOT SAYING I'M ONE) in particular areas of fire management to go out to incidents or other command centers and help. I went as what they refer to as an Expanded Dispatch Dispatcher Dispatching Dispatches...or something. Anyway THE POINT BEING...I came home and turned on my Pyware and attempted to do some more pages for my big band back in Illinois that I'm writing for and realized my head was so far up my ass I could smell my own breath, and that any attempts at creativity were being met with some of the stupidest drill move animations that have ever been seen at anytime in the history of mankind. I thankfully went to bed, only to be woken up at 3am by some woman in my bed freaking out from a bad dream. Gee--that's never happened before in 14 years of marriage.

Speaking of bed...have you ever fallen asleep because you're so tired but you wake up not realizing you actually fell asleep and you sort of look around and wonder just what the hell happened? I do that at night. I like to read before I go to sleep. Actually, I LOVE TO READ BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP. I'm reading "2012" by Whitley Streiber about anal probing aliens from another dimension that can rip your soul out of your body and DESTROY IT. That sucks. Anyway...I usually fall asleep...actually, more like freakin' passing out...and then coming to like 10 minutes later with the book still perfectly balanced between my fingers propped up on my chest. Bottom line--it freaks me the hell out.

Speaking of hell, hell is working with someone from Mississippi for 12 hours straight who has a hearing impediment and says, "Hunnnnh? What'd ya say?" approximately 390 times...an HOUR!!

Speaking of hour...I've stayed my hour. I'm leaving now. More to come soon. Check back often. Your mileage may vary. And please, can I give you one bit of wise advice? I CAN? I shall.

NEVER EVER EVER EVER TRUST A SMILING DONUT.

Never.

Be good.

Oh dear Lonestar--how I loved thee...

2008-07-10T14:24:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone--LIKE THERE'S REALLY AN EVERYONE!!!--about 20 years ago or so, I made up in mind that if I were to get great service or a great product, that I would be quick to compliment that service or product. I've kept true to my word over the years, and praise liberally. Let's face it--I like to go to restaurants, movies, amusement parks, etc, etc. Well, with this "praise liberally" approach, I also feel very justified to speak up--and not rudely or irrationally--and let people or companies know when service or products are NOT satisfactory. Thankfully, that doesn't happen too often. But today at lunch with my friends from work...well...just read the following "complaint" that I lodged with Lonestar Restaurants corporate office...tell me what you think...and realize as a customer, you have EVERY right to expect reasonably good service and product WHEREVER you go:

This is a complaint, and I would like to have some follow-up on this. On the above date and at the listed time, I along with 6 co-workers made our once-a-week lunch run to Lone Star. And to be honest, it may be our last time there. While the service itself was great by our server (sorry--didn't get a name), I can't say the same for the quality of the food. Three of the burgers that were brought to the table were incorrect, two of which were sent back because of the egregious nature of the problem, and the third was not although it was wrong. The initial issue with one of the burgers was that it was ordered medium rare. It came back CLEARLY not cooked properly, as it appeared that there was RAW MEAT on the bottom of the patty, and quite a lot of it. The customer who ordered it was VERY unhappy with it. The 2nd burger was ordered medium, yet it came back very pink, but clearly NOT medium. The third burger was the same condition as the 2nd, however, that customer opted to eat it as he wasn't as bothered by it.

Here's where I have a problem, and it's two-fold. It took at LEAST 12 minutes for the two burgers to be returned, and when they WERE returned, one of them was STILL not correct (it was ordered DRY--no lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, or sauce--yet it had all of it on the burger). The two customers were not able to ever eat their food IN THE RESTAURANT as they planned because of the delay in the re-issue. Secondly, and this is TRULY unbelievable, the manager found it necessary to actually get snippy and defend the "medium rare" burger as if to say that no, we as the customer were wrong. Did I miss something some where along the way that says the CUSTOMER IS WRONG?!?!? Your manager obviously needs to go back to manager school and understand the concept of MAKING THE CUSTOMER HAPPY and apologizing for the error the cook made. That was strike #1. But as I sat there and watched my two friends and co-workers load their burgers into a take home box, and then looked at the 60+ dollar tab, I could not fathom why at the VERY LEAST we were not comped for two meals. Those two guys didn't get their food correctly nor in a timely manner, AND we were treated rudely by a manager.

And this might be of interest to you. In celebration of an event in one of our lives, next week, there was going to be 8 of us coming in for a celebration lunch. We had it planned that Lonestar was the place. We have now switched our plans and Red Robin will be getting our business.

In this day and age of a crappy economy, rising food prices, and corporate earnings dropping (and I'm WELL AWARE of Lonestar's issues in the restaurant business), you would be well-advised to inform your staff members--dare I say, NATIONWIDE--to wise up and do all they can to retain customers. Because the 7 of us that won't be returning any time soon will be sure to be speaking to a great many OTHER people, and you know what they say about bad news.

I sure hope to hear from someone. And no, I didn't just type all of this for a free meal. I expect some training to occur for your employees (specifically the manager of your Tustin restaurant) so that you stand a chance to not tick off anymore regular customers.

So how'd I do???

Now on to something MORE SERIOUS!!!

2008-07-09T15:47:00.000-07:00

OK...this is FREAKIN' FUNNY...especially if you're a dad...I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS VIDEO...and in case you're a hand-wringing worry wort, no kids were hurt in the making of this most awesome video. Well...at least they weren't PHYSICALLY hurt, although I think their pride took a beating...LITERALLY...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqrnLrn25qc

Sorry...

2008-07-09T08:11:00.000-07:00

Been kind of quiet as of late. That last post from back on June 12 generated some interesting emails and Facebook contacts. Got in contact with a couple of old friends from way back who happened to know who I was talking about. Pretty cool.

Well--good news. M had her surgery and it was pretty successful. She's in great hands with some of the best doctors in the world that deal with exactly what she has. Suprisingly, she's getting some very optimistic prognosises from them. I say suprisingly because I made the mistake of looking on the internet for more information on this situation, and was none too pleased with what I was reading. I'm relieved to say the least that she's doing ok. Her husband has sent out some "mass emails" to lots of folks and so I'm being updated. Good for M.

In my other life as a drill designer, this season has taken a dramatic trip down the shitter. Well, actually that's a little melodramatic. There are some changes, and I'm "only" writing for four bands this year. When I look at my Work History Profile that I created for my drill design/instruction side of my life, over the last 24 years there has been a certain "ebb and flow" in terms of how many clients I get every year. It's too be expected, especially considering I do absolutely NO advertising, no hustling, no flyers, no website...it's just word of mouth. If this was my primary income I'd be far far more serious and "involved" on the business end (marketing, selling, blah blah blah). But I've cultivated this part of my life as always having the potential to be big, but never really pursuing it. Mainly because I have a career already, so it's not like I need the money (although the extra income IS nice). I've done it because it's been a ton of fun to see what I write on a piece of paper (or now put on a computer screen) come to life on a football field.

Well, it's a combination of personal issues as well as just some of the frankly STUPID decisions and other related "issues" over the last year and half that have caused me to feel "the burn" start. And I ain't talking about the burn of excitement or passion...I'm talking the burn of being burned out. Like I said, I do take SOME ownership in this situation because I was promoted at the Fire Department last October and there's been a learning curve in that area of my life (and some success AND bitter disappointment), so I'm certainly acknowledging that. But it just kills me that last year--ohhhh, about April or so if I'm not mistaken--I was feeling on top of the world, and now, I'm bordering on a burn out. And I hate to sound corny or like a broken record, but I was very much inspired by someone whose blog I absolutely love (http://drumlaw80.blogspot.com/). Unless he's an absolute liar, this is a guy whose work ethic and tenacity just blows me away everytime I read about his exploits. And another motivator to me is my father and mother in law, two people who know the value of work and can juggle multiple projects at one time, and usually do...365 days a year. So to be burned out or getting there SUCKS AND BUGS ME TO NO END!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I was highly motivated by these examples as well as other more personal issues to get beyond my comfort zone and do more. And I did! I just had different results that rocked my world a bit. And now because of that and my burn out factor, my tolerance for B.S. has been lowered greatly. Rather than review the amount of B.S. I'm dealt with specifically in this area of my life, I'll just say you'll have to trust me in this regards--because it's a LOT to be frank.

What does it all mean? I don't know if it really "means" anything. There are people in my life with far more pressing issues (like one who is in an ICU right now recovering from brain surgery for God's sakes). Do I REALLY think my burn out and frustrations have any "meaning" when compared to brain surgery? No. I'm realistic. I know I'm bellyaching up the wrong tree. BUT...BUT...it is what it is (as a friend likes to say--right Thom?), and it sort of helps explain me...which sometimes, is beyond explanation. Or something.

In other news...

--Flew to Salt Lake City with family in tow for a wedding of one of Nyleen's 7 brothers. Yeah. SEVEN!!! (Are you reading this, Lee??) Anyway, he got married to some rich girl and blah blah blah. The trip itself had great potential to be a disaster, as I was traveling with a 7 year old girl who is just beginning to understand everything there is to understand about Hannah Montana, a 4 year old boy that is hooked on Squarebob Spongepants or whatever the hell is name is, and walks around singing Thomas the Train songs, a 4 MONTH old GIANT MAN BABY who has never flown before, and my perpetually motion-sick wife. Trip turned out nicer than I thought. Stayed in the basement of one of Nyleen's aunts. Visited with lots of family, did some partying (yeah...I WAS IN UTAH...there idea of a wild party is to throw green jello at each other), visited some cool places (like Provo Canyon--where if I was independently wealthy, wasn't married, didn't have kids, and hated marching band/drum corps, I would move to in a New York minute...AWESOME country back there). Oh...by the way...flew JetBlue for the first time. I will simply say this--I will NEVER fly another airline as long as I live if I have a chance to fly JetBlue.

--You've been reading I'm sure in the news about the wildfires from hell in northern California, right? At one point in time, there were 1400...FOURTEEN HUNDRED!!!...fires burning. Why should I care and how does that affect southern California? Simple. We have this thing called "mutual aid" in the fire service. So we (the OCFA where I work) have sent fire engines and manpower (called "overhead") to various locations to assist other agencies in northern California. Yes--it DOES impact us down here in southern California. Suprisingly--we've been spared down here from any fires. WHICH IS WEIRD. Reeeeeeeeeeeeeally weird. However...if I were you, I would move out of the state by October 1. That's when the Santa Ana Wind season starts. All bets are off at that point.

That's about it for now--just wanted to give a quick update. I've got nothing else.

Take care...and thanks for reading.

Curve ball...

2008-06-12T15:24:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here in a terminal in the distant land of Florida--Tampa to be exact. My plane which was supposed to leave a long time ago is not leaving for another long while. And so here I sit. I guess I could be really irritated. I could even get mad. Or sad. I have a wife and 3 kids at home that are patiently awaiting my arrival, which now looks like it may not be until tomorrow if this crappy mid-western weather carries on the way it is (which is where my plane currently sits--in Chicago). But as I've come to realize in my short 42 years of life that there is a choice that can be made, and I am choosing to chill out and not worry too much. And besides, being stuck in an international airport as beautiful as Tampa with a laptop and free wireless internet and a nice ice cream store nearby makes me wonder really, what in the hell do I have to worry about?

Nothing.

But I guess what's even worse for me is this feeling that has come over me in the last few minutes. And the timing of why this sadness has come into my life is even more curious, because of my last posting (read the one below this one so you can get a handle on my mind set). The only way my puny human intellect can wrap its arms around things is by giving the awfully immature summary of "I must be going through a test of what I just posted."

What am I talking about?

Well, I was sitting here in the airport, watching people going by, looking at my stupid meaningless Facebook account, trading insults and jokes via text message with my wife, answering some work emails from my fire department friends...in a nutshell, minding my own business. And up pops an email which is actually a text message from a cell phone number I don't recognize. And the message...well...it made me stop for a second and take a deep breath for sure. By the look of what was typed, something was wrong. Let me do a little historical trip for a minute before I go on....and you'll have to excuse me. This posting is as therapeutic for me as it may be completely too much info for you. I apologize. You may understand in a bit more.

When I was in high school, specifically my senior year, and with all the VAST experience I had had with girls up to this point (I'm being sarcastic...I dated a clarinet player for approximately 14 minutes, and dated a friend from my neighborhood for about 2 months before her dad decided I wasn't good enough and CERTAINLY not Christian enough), I fell head over heels for yet ANOTHER flute player in band. Out of respect for her privacy, I'm going to not publish her name. I think she'd appreciate that since apparently I have 24.5 million people reading my words at any one moment (I KID--which is strange, I really shouldn't be kidding right now). Anyway, "M" and I had what could be described as a great relationship that ran the gamut of teenage angst and drama and love and hurt and jealousy and "end of the world"-isms. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. But it was a tumultuous time where in the end our lives quietly went seperate directions--she into the working corporate world, and me...I don't know. Where the hell did I go anyway? Well, I ended up at the fire department which is sort of a defining moment for me because a LOT of things happened right around the time. My dear mother died, I got hired with the OCFA and started my career, and I met my wife.

But over the years M and I stayed in contact somehow. I don't remember exactly how I was able to track her down by email several years ago but I did or maybe she did. I can't remember. But we've stayed in contact, updating each other on the happenings in our lives. I've always found it strangely comforting to be able to have that one link in M to my past. In any event, it turned out she had been working in the next city over from where I had been living, and that's where she met her husband and blah blah blah.

Fast forwarding to today--Tampa, me, a laptop, free internet...life is good. And an email popped up from M's sister, a person who I truly had not talked to for probably 20 years. It simply said, "This is M's sister. Call me immediately." Something was wrong. I'm too much of a public safety professional to look at an email like that and think "Oh she's probably wanting to invite me to a baseball game". Something was wrong. And the timing made sense too. You see, when I got to Tampa, I emailed M to say hi and "check in", something we seem to do every so often via email. And M always answers me within 12 hours or so, and when she hadn't I thought that she and her family were probably out vacationing or whatever...I mean, there's a million reasons why someone doesn't email you back right away. Computers break, plans change, things happen, life is what it is. I wasn't worried at all, but I filed her non response away as something that I was going to get to later when I returned to a NORMAL state....like CALIFORNIA!!! Don't get me started...

But...something was wrong now.

I immediately called the number, and to my surprise, M answered the phone. And the news wasn't good. She had had a seizure on Friday night, and had been in the hospital since then, and was diagnosed with a brain tumor.

I was dumbfounded. I'm sitting in an airport terminal, with crappy phone reception, hearing the former love of my life and someone who I had "dreamed" with about what it would be like to be married some day to her and she who would tease me ENDLESSLY that if we DID get married that I would be FORCED to dance at our reception...here she was telling me that she had a brain tumor. After 14 years of marriage and 3 kids, I've learned a great deal about being compassionate and loving and helpful and the like, but I still get tongue-tied when faced with something so...well, I'm not one to be delicate...but something so devastating. I still have problems saying "I'm so sorry" because I feel like there's so much more I need to say...or do...or fix...I'm a man. Give me a hammer and a screwdriver, some duct tape, and wam bam thank you mam I'll take care of that tumor for you.

But I couldn't. And I uh uh uh uh...great. You haven't talked to M in 20 years, and here you sound like a freakin' ape on the phone with her. What could I do? What could I say? I told her I was so sorry. I told her to "keep me in the loop". WTF, TURNER?!?!?! LOOP!?!?!?! She has a tumor in the brain, and here I am talking fire department talk to her. LOOP!?!?! Great. Size 11 in my mouth--someone call the Foot Removal Squad.

I AM so sorry. I am TERRIBLY TERRIBLY concerned. I strangely want to drop what I'm doing and DO SOMETHING--even though I have my own wife and children and family and she has hers. Strange. But I just didn't know what to do. Her sister got on the phone with me, and we talked. Instead of doing this with M, I instead told her sister (as if I'm an expert...but I certainly can SOUND like one I guess) that medical technology is SO advanced and I know two people that have bounced back from brain surgery and to not worry and to be strong...words for M. Not her sister. But maybe for her sister too.

And I think about what I typed below about prayer and about prayers being answered. And I know that life SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS when things like this happen and you want to just scream at the top of your lungs WHY WHY WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????? God knows I have screamed that--LITERALLY--in my lifetime. WHY!?!?!?!?

But therein is the secret to trying to wrap our brains around things like this. Choices. You decide what you want to do with what's handed to you. And then you take each day as it goes. I have a friend from church who is the most amazing man on the planet. He has the WORST FORM OF LEUKEMIA right now...THE worst. Reading his story on CaringBridge and seeing how he's handled things is a DIRECT and TANGIBLE testament to me that you CHOOSE your roads...your reactions...and actions...and you do the best. Or you don't and you curl up and you die. My friend, who is only a couple of years older than me, should be dead now. He's not. Through aggressive medical technology, treatment, INSISTENT and PERSISTENT desire to get the VERY VERY best, and not to mention, his unbelievable attitude and will and desire to be the best example of his religion he could be, he's almost totally beat this. It's not a joke--10 years ago, he would have been dead a long time ago. My other friend from church, 55 year old woman, THE GREATEST example of the "perfect" grandma, happy, positive, loving...started feeling dizzy one day. Went in, got checked out, and she had a tumor in her brain, and it was in a really really bad area. But with medical technology and aggressive treatment and her positive outlook and I would think TENS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE (and I'm not being melodramatic) praying for her and just supporting her with emails and thoughts, she came out of her brain surgery with a little hearing loss and a bit of vertigo. But she's alive!!! She's happy!!! She's grateful!!!

I don't know if M will ever read this--nor do I know what's going to happen with her. All I know is that I'm being challenged right now to put my money where my mouth is. I need to also step up to the plate and not give any lip service to the concept of prayer, but to be active in it and do my best to do what I CAN do as a friend from long ago.

I told her to "hang in there"...I hope she knows that without me being "in the way" and certainly not trying to take the place of the husband she already has, that I will be "with her", if anything, in spirit.

Hang in there, M.

Tampa and beyond...

2008-06-11T21:08:00.000-07:00

Don't know if anyone is bothering to read this lame blog anymore, but I thought I would check in. I am typing to you from my hotel room in downtown Tampa, Florida, where it's been hot and muggy with some very spectacular thunderstorms in the late afternoon. I'm down here part of the National Emergency Number Association, a professional association of 911 industry professionals, the like of what I AM apparently. Anyway, been here doing classes and talking to vendors and having a blast networking and learning some new ideas that I can DEFINITELY use at the old OCFA. Speaking of which, check out that video in the next post down of me in a Public Service Announcement (PSA) back in 2001. My hair was actually ALL BROWN!!! What a concept!!!

I don't talk much about my personal faith on this blog, because it's personal, and the topic of religion and sprituality and all that usually turns people off. Based on who's talked to me about my blog over the last couple of years, it would be fair to say that some of you don't have any feelings in particular or are in some ways not believing in any kind of spirituality at all or certainly not of God in the traditional sense. Well, forgive me for broaching the subject, but I do believe in God and have for a long time. I don't pound people over their heads with it, I don't preach, I don't lay down vast judgements against people that don't believe like I do, and I certainly don't like to be treated any other way than how I believe I do treat people in regard to religion and faith and belief. Like I said, it's personal. And one's behavior is usually called into question when they wear their religious beliefs on their sleeves, making it easy to be the focus of illogical leaps of reason that cause people to say "Well, look at HIM, he's acting like an idiot, so all _________________ (insert name of religion) adherents must be that way!" That's where I stand with it. You either believe in God, you believe in SOMETHING out there but don't know what it is, or you don't and think it's all silly.

Fine.

Back to my beliefs. For those that think it's all silly, it would be very easy to argue that if I spend anytime praying that it's akin to me talking to myself. Or to a wall. But I do pray. Not often enough, but as of the last few months, moreso than I have say the several months before that. There are many things in my life that I won't go into great detail about that I believe need "divine help". I believe one of those prayers was answered just in the same style that God always seems to answer my prayers--very quietly, very subtley, and by using people.

I had the good fortune to run into a man who is a manager of communications center in the fine and beautiful state of Washington. He was in one of my classes this past weekend, and considering my normally outspoken, opinionated, loud, and sometimes humorous M.O., he gravitated towards me probably out of sheer curiousity as to what the hell was my problem (I'm being overly dramatic--he was actually in my small group as we tackled a problem as an exercise in this class). In any event, I ended up making friends with this very very funny and quite well spoken man who was here with one of his dispatchers from his agency, who I too met. We all seemed to hit it off, and I joined them for lunch and then later for dinner, and it was just typical convention/industry-related banter and humor (because I can't go anywhere and be serious).

As it turns out, we spent a lot of "off" time from the convention just hanging out, and truth be told considering I also like to be a loner (which is really a dichotomy--I'm the freakin' life of a party and can sustain vast amounts of "attention" by virtue of some of positions in life, but I need to be ALONE...weird...Hello, Dr. Freud???), it was actually nice to have someone to talk to considering I'm seperated by approximately 2500 miles from the four most important people in my life. And during our times together eating lunch or taking a walk after class or whatever (we actually went and saw Iron Man on Monday night if I'm not mistaken), these two guys would subtlely but plainly make it clear to me that they were Christian. They didn't cuss, they both talked glowingly about their wives and kids, and talked about other things using the word "faith" and "blessings" and "God's hand". So I knew that they both were different, in a good way though. Again--I keep mum about my religion and don't talk much about it to anyone unless someone is to ask, and then I'm more than willing to ramble on about it. But I've learned and matured and keep my comments to myself unless I'm asked.

IN ANY EVENT, this evening was our last night together. They both are going to a class tomorrow and I'm getting on a plane and heading home. They called me at about 8pm tonight, and left a message for me on my cell saying they were going to a pizza joint in the neighborhood of our hotel, and to come meet them if I wanted. I had eaten dinner earlier by myself and had gone for a 3 mile walk/job (because I'm a fat ass and I hate myself because of it--but that's another story!!!!), and so I wasn't really wanting to go out. I was more comfortable just watching TV and being quiet--the loner raises it's ugly head again. But something motivated me. Don't know what. Actually, I don't want to admit what it was that motivated me because I'll be thought of as a loon. But I think I was being given a very quiet and personal "nudge". I'll leave it at that.

So I put on a fresh set of clothes and headed out to the pizza place--a total dive with the biggest freakin' calzones I've EVER SEEN!!! They should be classified as small vehicles. They are HUGE. I wasn't hungry but I just sat and we talked and laughed and talked to a bum and talked and laughed...guy stuff. Normal. But these two were sharing ideas with me as they had been doing all week about things management-wise in the 911 industry that was very much appreciated and NEEDED by me.

But that's not the answer to the prayer.

The answer to the prayer came later, when we had sauntered back over to our hotel and sat in the lounge with our styrofoam cups of ice and old soda from the pizza place. And we talked about marriage and the importance of family and many other things that, well, to be honest, guys don't normally talk about. The American model of guyhoodedness would have us sitting there with beers, yapping endlessly about sports, or oogling at women walking by, or how much of a bitch our wives were. We weren't. And with great respect to a great group of guys that I DO hang around with at lunch sometimes back at work, it was refreshing for once. Here were two guys that honored their wives. Unheard of. And they honored NOT because they went on and on and on about how wonderful they were--it was by what they were NOT saying. They weren't bitching, they weren't whining...I mean, we ARE men and maybe a couple of funny humorous little things slipped out, but it was done in fun. And one of the guys recommended to me a book called "The Five Faces (or Languages) of Love" that supposedly is THE BEST BOOK TO HELP MARRIAGES GET STRONGER.

I need that book right now. Answer one.

Answer two came in the form of--now don't laugh--a rather deep discussion we were having about esteem and self-filters and who we really are and how people really see us. This post has already gone on long enough, so I'll try to wrap this up. But, what was said and how it was said was something I really needed to hear. I haven't heard what was said to me this evening before, and it got me realizing that, bottom line, I am quite horrible....to myself. Before anyone gets a chance to beat me up about anything, I'm usually already well underway, complete with boxing gloves and assorted tools, beating the crap out of myself. About what? WHATEVER. My shortcomings. My mistakes. My flaws. And the answer to a prayer came from someone who 5 days ago didn't know me from Adam.

I only share this not because you're going to fully understand or appreciate the gravity of what transpired tonight. I guess only I can actually "feel" that, and try as I might, the command of the English language doesn't guarantee that I would be able to convey that idea or feelings. But what I CAN convey....and I really really take a big chance typing this...but what I CAN convey, strongly, is that prayer works because there IS a God. There's nothing in the world I can do to make him love me anymore than he already does, and because he does, he does answer prayers. It was proven tonight to me--AGAIN--because I forgot recently. That's the end of my sermon. Appreciate you reading.

I am YOUR fire department...

2008-06-11T21:06:00.000-07:00

Here's a public service announcement filmed back I believe just before 9-11...it played in all the theaters in O.C. as well as local cable.

Damn...just damn...

2008-05-16T08:35:00.000-07:00

Today started sort of on a sour note...than, I got to work. Sour notes from last night still reverberating in my head, I got more sour notes at work. I've been called too caring...too liberal...too trusting...just don't know. I get the feeling I'm backwards sometimes.

Sucks to be me I guess.

Well...I'll hang in there.

Been awhile...but I'm sort of like the Timex Watch

2008-05-14T20:25:00.000-07:00

....I can take a licking...but I keep on ticking.

Speaking of licking...HI!!! Let me attempt to kiss all of your butts as I check back in after an extended absence. As if anyone is reading...whatever...here's a rundown...

--Had another kid. Benjamin Wallace Turner. 2/23/08. There's a whole back story to this that involves him being so strong he kicked out of his own placenta a week before birth, hospitalizing my wife. And that's just the first sentence of the back story. So I'll keep it short. Now that we're what--3 months later?? He's fine. She's fine. I'm great.

--Been in my new position of Senior Supervisor and still getting to know my way around things, especially my own supervisor. After the world's worst (Ryan's world that is) eval after my first 6 months--an eval that will go down as probably the single most embarrassing chapter in my storied career of working--I'm starting to "get it". Note to everyone that promotes...quick way to success with a new boss. Make sure you know what he/she wants. Everytime he/she smiles and says "Good job" or "Thank you--that's what I needed" or "Perfect", do more of THAT, whatever caused those reactions. And don't be a hermit.

--Marching band is starting to rev up. It's May. VERY VERY VERY strange season coming up because California is having a budget crisis, and band directors left and right are getting pink slips. Probably why my phone hasn't rung yet. Probably other reasons too, like band directors not being professional and returning phone calls or emails. BUT HEY...I'm just a drill designer. The nature of the beast is to blame the drill designer for everything...and then don't call him to tell him. Typical. It's a love/hate thing I have with band directors. Main reason I didn't become one was because I'd end up either killing fellow band directors, killing administrators, killing parents, maybe even taking out a few kids, or killing myself. I definitely feel bad for directors that have to deal with that absolute SHITTIEST of conditions--conditions that I, as a member of a union, would NEVER EVER EVER tolerate. Ahhhhhhhh well...I'm babbling. Where was I? Drill design...oh yeah. We'll see what happens. I can guarandamntee you I will NEVER write for another drum corps as long as I live. THAT is for sure. I just can't do it. It ain't my cup of tea (exception is So Cal Dream--I actually miss them).

--To do DCI, or not. Well--here's the thing. This is like my millionth drum corps season being the "Voice of Southern California", and Pacific Crest already has snapped me up for the Walnut show in the last part of June. There were rumors abound based on how I did last year at Pasadena City College for Division II/III Championships that I would definitely be working again for DCI. No calls yet. I'm about to write that off.

--Stirred the pot on Drum Corps Planet after Madison Scouts announced their show, writing their show description that included basing their show on the "observations of an iguana" as it viewed the Latin culture. If not the DUMBEST show description I have ever heard, certainly the most pretentous bullshit for a drum corps show I have EVER heard. And from the MADISON SCOUTS of all corps. Just WTF are those people thinking? An iguana. Well, I said as much on DCP, and many people either worshipped me for calling it like it was, or regarded me as the has-been ex-VK drum major that I am. Whatever title I've been given, I could give a crap. I still think Madison's show description is stupid.

With a capital S.

--My family is fine. Thanks for asking. Sarah is 7. Michael Ryan is 4. Life is good.

--My wife's ENTIRE side of the family flew in a couple of weekends ago for Benjamin's baby blessing (sort of like a confirmation--but I did it myself), and a baptism of another kid in the family. My mother in law's 60th was also celebrated with 75 old friends--and this was all a surprise birthday party we put together.

It rocked.

She cried.

I win.

--I'm going to say it--but I ain't saying who. There are two people in my life that have in the last 48 hours confided to me some very personal issues, and while I like to play the goofy happy-go-lucky smart ass on TV, in reality, I'm very very very concerned and my heart is VERY heavy. It's a part of me many don't get to see, but it's the part that wants to fix things and make everyone happy. It's also the most sensitive part of my psyche, and if I CAN'T fix things, it REALLY REALLY hurts. Because I feel like I failed. So--for my two special people in my life--if you are reading this per chance, my brain is chewing on your issues and I swear to God I'm going to fix it. Somehow.

--I love the Internet. I love YouTube. I hate television anymore. What does it have that I can't get on the Internet. I forsee television become SECONDARY to the Internet in the most "watched" form of entertainment in about...oh...37 minutes.

Seriously. TV ain't got NOTHIN' on the Internet. I can spend the day on YouTube or Wikipedia and NEVER be bored, and always learning something, laughing at something, crying at something...whatever....

--Did you know that the Turner Empire got its very first color television...in 1984!!!! Yep. Was given to us by my computer programming teacher--Roberta Sterling (ohhhhhhhhhhhh Roberta...oh my)--FOR FREE, because I think she liked me.

--My daughter is singing Jack and Jill Went Up The Hill as I'm typing this. She's in bed, and singing to Michael to get the little crazy man to go to sleep. What a cutie.

THAT'S IT...there's probably more but I'm tired. Gotta be like a banana and split.

GET IT?!?!?!

See ya...

Ummmmmmmmmmmm...

2008-03-07T14:39:00.000-08:00

Either this guy is the nerdiest freak I've ever seen....or....as I now think after watching the video, pretty freakin' cool.

Bummer news...

2008-02-15T19:02:00.001-08:00

Since I keep tabs on the drum corps activity at both the junior and senior levels, I just found out the Seattle Cascades Drum and Bugle Corps is taking a year off from national touring and keeping it regional. Too bad. For a region (the Pacific NW) that isn't a huge epicenter of marching pageantry to lose such a great group (not TECHNICALLY losing, but if they're going to be a regional non-competitive corps, you can kiss the recruiting goodbye) is pretty hard.

Here's to the 'Scades (as they are called)...good luck and hopefully you'll pull a Troopers and come back stronger than ever.

OK OK OK...my LAST post for today...

2008-02-07T15:13:00.000-08:00

I totally forgot about this clip from YOUTUBE. I got reintroduced to Mary Poppins because my daughter LOVED to watch it EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN' DAY when she was a toddler. The following clip certainly changes the whole meaning of the movie...holy cow!!!

My 100th Post!!! Let's celefreakingbrate!!

2008-02-07T14:18:00.000-08:00

Hi there...second posting of the day because it just dawned on me (by way of a counter) that I am on my 100th post of this infernal blog that so many of you have come to like for some reason. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? I kid--I'm still tickled that people read this and approach me at the weirdest times to say they either agreed or disagreed or think I'm a raving lunatic. Whatever. In commeration of the 100th ranting, I thought maybe it would be nice to see a few pics. Let's start off with some doom and gloom...that's always fun...

This is a snap shot of Oceanside, California, the city just south of Camp Pendleton. About 20-30 minutes from Orange County (on a good day). This sort of proves part of the overall horror story that I'm trying to convey in terms of the world economy. Yeah...Oceanside is part of the world economy. More specifically--all of those red dots represents a family or person that is "under water" because of a pending or active foreclosure. This is NORTH SAN DIEGO FREAKIN' COUNTY. It's PARADISE. And they're feeling the effects of what will surely start to hit the last bastion of good economy...The O.C.

Well, here's something sort of cool. A few weeks ago, I gave the "Opening Speech" or whatever you want to call it to the Kingsmen Alumni Corps Banquet held in Fullerton. Had about 400 people there and I gave a 10 minute talk about my experience as the Official Voice of the Kingsmen during their nearly 2 year existence. It's a little hard to see, but I think if you click on the pic it'll get bigger (only if it was so easy at age 41...WAIT...did I just say that???). ANYWAY--in the pic is my fat mug on the left, to the right of me in the dark suit and mustache/beard is my long-time friend and brother in the business of show design, David G. Weinberg (http://www.omegadrilldesigns.com/). We go WAY WAY back. He's one of the principal people in my life that motivated me, mostly by example, to become a drill designer myself. Nowhere near as good, but hey, I keep striving. The black gentlemen in the center of the pic is the former drum major of the Freelancers Drum and Bugle Corps from Sacramento. He was drum major from 1981-1984, and definitely a MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR influence in my life, MOSTLY BY EXAMPLE (because he had no idea I existed back then), and helped me develop my style as drum major for Freelancers' arch rivals, The Velvet Knights. Rest of the people at the table I don't really know. But they were nice.

I have a friend at work, a former Velvet Knight by the way (from the post 1992 era) that is, among other things, an expert at Photoshop. This would be a picture of me he created after I had returned from a brief vacation to San Simeon where I developed an abcess and had to have oral surgery due to the intense pain. Yeah...that's his tribute to me. Yeah it's sort of gross.

Get over it.

This is what I'm attempting to KEEP from becoming. Another Photoshop creation by a certain former VK computer geek.

From this at DCI Finals in 1987....(ignore the movie poster thing--it's a joke that was sent to me)....

....to this, announcing the Kingsmen Alumni Corps on to the field at the Rose Bowl for DCI Finals 20 years later.

THIS TOTALLY FREAKS ME THE HELL OUT!!!

Happy 100th post. If you've read 'em all...you really need to seek some counseling. I feel sorry for you. But thanks--whatever good THAT does for ya!!

Now......................GET...................OUT........................OF..............HERE!! :-)

I don't understand a lot...but this scared me...

2008-02-07T08:30:00.001-08:00

http://www.bloomberg.com/avp/avp.htm?clipSRC=mms://media2.bloomberg.com/cache/v6A3ROrCPZNk.asf

This may seem boring, because it's a propellor head talking about stocks and the financial world. However, this TOTALLY ties in to my last post. The "foreclosure crisis" is part of a larger "circle of disaster" that is poised to occur. Now I keep my ear to the ground and read what a bunch of tin-foil hat wearing people are saying about this situation in the world right now, and of course they're saying the Greatest Depression Since The Dawn Of Time is coming so buy a farm, get out of the cities, buy food preps, get your guns, blah blah blah. I'm nowhere near that way of thinking (well...actually I am when it comes to food preps), but this video is VERY VERY telling. If you can wade through this, just listen to this guy. Typically on the "mainstream media", especially Bloomberg TV, having this level of negativity is very rare, so I hear. You can even see it in the interviewer when all of a sudden in the middle of the interview she blurts out "WOW THIS IS SOOOO NEGATIVE!" or something to that effect.

What's the point Turner???

I don't know--yesterday, I said something was amiss. Even though I don't participate in the stock market, it seems we're on the brink of a MAJOR MAJOR downturn in the world economy as we know it, and that WILL affect the Joe Schlub like myself that is supporting a family. How badly? I have no clue...but according to my paranoid friends...

WATCH OUT!!!

Something is amiss...

2008-02-06T13:48:00.001-08:00

I live in a great country. I have lots of freedoms and I have lots of opportunities and there is much to be grateful for. But...BUT...something is not right. Something is stinky. Let me give you a quick recap of things that are on my radar...

--Internet service cables in and around the Mid East are mysteriously "cut"...at the bottom of oceans. Not much news coverage of this. But it's happening. Why? Theories abound, but this is akin to Germany in WWII cutting communications lines to Britain before they attacked. Is something up in the Mid East? Iran???

--The primaries are offering me "nothing new". You Obama freaks are going to get exactly what you asked for. A raging SOCIALIST. With Hillary Clinton...more of the same old, same old. Oh by the way..Universal Health Care is her big rallying cry. Get ready to pay OUT YOUR ASS for that. I want NO PART OF IT, thank you very much. I spend BIG BUCKS every month to make sure that I will have NO PART OF IT. You should too. You've been warned. Let's see...oh...yeah. Republicans. Not that you can tell them apart from the liberals. McCain--Mr. Bad Temper man. He's ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL about the Iraq War. Yeah. OK. The war that we're "winning". OK. He's real in tune with reality, hanh? This is the same McCain mind you that didn't care much for our sovereignty as a nation and sponsored the McCain/Kennedy Amnesty Bill for Illegal Aliens. You remember illegal aliens, right? The ones that are clogging up our schools, our hospitals, our ROADS, OUR COUNTRY!?!?!?!?! Yeah. If you voted for this loser, you voted for someone who within the last few weeks suddenly "saw the light" and is now AGAINST his own amnesty that he HAD been for. YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?!? No...seriously. YOU BELIEVE HIM???? Romney...I can't tell what he's for or against or anything. He just keeps saying "Put me in the White House...yap yap yap". Something more than sound bites, please. Huckabee and Paul, both non-issues, only confuse the stupid. So why is this all here? Something is amiss in this country because our choices BASICALLY come down to Obama, Hillary, McCain, and Romney. --sigh-- Our country, which HAS been screwed so nice and royally by Bush, is not a rubber stopper away from being sucked into the garbage disposal. MARK MY WORDS. I'm not typically political but HOLY CRAP ALIVE...this past year has been an eye opener to say the least.

--Anyone care much about world economics? You do? Oh good. Because I don't understand much beyond writing checks, making deposits, and working an ATM machine. But I read A LOT. The stock market--on a world-wide basis--is OUT OF CONTROL. If you DON'T follow it, and I bet most of you don't, I will tell you this. Some major major names in the business are declaring that we are in for a world of hurt. If you don't invest like I don't, you may be ok but you'll get hit with higher prices on everything (already see it big time in the groceries, believe you me.) But there are some VERY dire predictions that come summer time, we may be experiencing something worse that the Crash of 29. Get ready. Or don't.

--Speaking of money. Were you an idiot and got an Adjustable Rate Mortgage, thinking that somehow, the 1.5% APR was going to last for 30 years, and then after 2,3, or 5 years, all of a sudden, your house payment on a house you normally would NEVER have been able to afford on Planet Reality is now 40, 50 or 60% MORE. And NOW you can't AFFORD IT??? Are you one of those??? If you are, you're getting EXACTLY what you deserve. Sorry. I have NO sympathy whatsoever for you. If you are a "flipper" and got stuck, OH WELL. You played the odds and lost. You see, sometime in the recent past, houses became investment vehicles for some odd reason. Yeah yeah yeah...people have always bought house and rented them out. That's "sort of" an investment. But "flipping" really didn't come into vogue until the last decade, or so I read. This "false value" created in the market, ESPECIALLY HERE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, was and still is to some extent, absolutely ridiculous. Gone is the notion that my parents grew up with and hence, passed on to me, that a house was where you buy and raise a family. Times are MUCH different. But now...it's biting out economy in the ass. I don't pretend to understand the complexities of how our financial markets are built and maintained, but I can guarandamntee you that this "housing bubble collapse" that you hear about so often (or the "foreclosure crisis") is affecting things on a GLOBAL SCALE. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd...there's one word to describe WHY this is occurring.

Can you say "GREED"? Good. I knew you could.

--If you have a Christian upbringing or view of the world, than what I'm going to say will make perfect sense. If you don't, it'll still ring true with you and get you to say, "Hanh...you're right." I don't know how much "news" you may read or hear, but I'm sure along the way you hear about the major stuff. Lately if it hasn't been Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton, it's been about Britney (heck I even joked about it earlier in the blog). TMZ is now considered "the news". But what's scary is this. This may be "just me", but I don't know. I think others are feeling it. But crime and lawlessness...it's reaching horrific in terms of the severity. Now, I fully recognize that there are stats that will show you that crime is actually on the decline in major categories. FBI goes to GREAT lengths to capture data, and there is some truth to that. But I'm not talking VOLUME, I'm talking the horrendous nature of crimes. ESPECIALLY against children. As a dad, I just absolutely cringe at the things I read and hear. Signs of the times??? YOU BETCHA. You don't need to be a Biblical scholar to figure that out. But even if you aren't aware of any Biblical support for what is happening today (or believe it for that matter), can one argue that the deprevity is worse today than ever before? If you're my age, do you remember playing outside your house until the streetlight came on and then you had to go home? Can you imagine letting your kid do that nowadays??

Sorry to rant but it was on my mind, and what's on my mind sometimes ends up out here on this blog. I'm watching the world turn, and I may just post more interesting insights into what's going on. There is MUCH more going on in this world than Britney Spears and the Super Bowl and our horrible choices for President.

I'll try to remind you of these things every so often...

2008-02-03T22:06:00.000-08:00

Just thought you'd like to see a cool video of where I work. Unfortunately, when it gets to showing the inside of the Command Center where I work, it shows two dispatchers that are no longer with us. Nice.

Real nice.

Forgot this...

2008-01-28T21:01:00.000-08:00

By the way...I've seen some really creative things on the Internet. It's really becoming my new medium for entertainment. Try just surfing YouTube. I can get lost in that stupid website for hours on end. LOVE IT. Anyway, my friend Elaine sent this link to me.

http://www.atomfilms.com/film/animator_vs_animation.jsp

This is ABSOLUTELY hilarious, but what's even better, is it's sequel. But you have to see this first. Brilliant. The 3 mins of this video is better than 75.3% of the tripe that they call TV.

OH YEAH WAIT WAIT WAIT!!! I found a new show that is BEYOND awesome. Just don't watch it when you're hungry. It's called Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives....

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_sp/episode/0,1976,FOOD_9994_46726,00.html

It is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cool!!! LOVE IT!!!

OK...I'm outta here.

Wow...where the heck have I been anyway?

2008-01-28T20:49:00.000-08:00

Ohhhhhh my...what's happening??? Yeah, it's me. Ryan H. I'm just hanging here at work, doing a little OT, my most favorite former supervisor in the world said in the sweetest, nicest voice "Ryan, why don't you write in your blog anymore?" And it hit me...besides her tonight, the only person that has bothered me about my blog has been Jon, who runs his own blog. He's the guy I'm jealous of in the previous entry. Anyway--so here I am.

Quick rundown--I'm doing ok. Health has been pretty whacked lately--since before Christmas to be exact. There was a real bad cold/bronchitis/hack up a lung thing that I had that really meandered around my body for about 8 weeks. IT SUCKED!!!!!! I also had what I can only describe as the "tail end" of a stomach flu bug that my whole family got BAD, but that only turned up in my life with the following two symptoms....these weird "grabbing" cramps in my stomach (like REALLY painful dude...totally), and one bout of explosive diarrhea which I'm sure just as you read that you thought, "Dude...really...you don't need to share that with me. Promise. I won't feel left out of your life if you never ever ever again tell me about your explosive diarrhea." I mean...men will appreciate this...but it was one of those bouts where you're basically holding on to the walls for dear life, wondering what could possibly be in you that needs to get out so badly, and then, wondering when it's ever going to end. Yeah. It went something like that. And the aftermath....I was freakin' weak in the knees, but strangely...feeling better.

And lighter.

Well, I won't bore you with the details of my rather uneventful life, but I'll try to take a clue from my fellow bloggers and stop writing so damn much and just give more "hellos" and updates.

OH NO!!!! I JUST GOT TOLD AS I WAS READY TO PUBLISH THIS THAT COPS ARE BACK AT BRITNEY'S HOUSE!!!! GO TO TMZ.COM--HURRY!!! For all the latest on that white trash piece of work...(disclaimer--if she is TRULY mentally ill, such as bi-polar, than I'll cut her a break...personally, she's a troubled spoiled brat).

I have to go now--TMZ IS CALLING MY NAME BABY!!!

Just a TAD jealous...but only a tad...

2007-11-29T13:47:00.000-08:00

I've been a big fan of talk radio for a VERY long time (gee--I wonder why!??). I grew up in a household where talk radio was on a lot. My dad used to listen to the old Ken and Bob Show and old Paul Harvey ("Gooooooood day!!"). My brother was a HUGE fan of that sportsshow and I can't think of the name...it'll come to me but it was on in the 70's. I actually have a tape of my brother calling in to this guy--I'll have to dig this out.

Anyway, I've been a long-time listener to KFI 640, more STIMULATING talk radio. Have been around long enough to have listened to the old Mother Love show, Joe Crummy, "Combover Boy" Tom Leykis (yes--he used to be on KFI a long time ago), Laura Schlessinger (before she was famous and was on at NIGHT), Dr. Ruth (YES!!! HER!!!), Scott and Neil (would have been good had they just stayed together!!!), Karel and Andrew!!!, oh my gosh--I'm a talk show geeeeeeeeeek--Stephanie Miller (KFI's lone liberal, but MAN she was funny!!), Mr. KFI, Phil Hendrie, Marcia Clark, blah blah blah. Anyway...have been such a fan of talk radio that I've been known to call in several times over the years. But I've never ever been a GUEST.

Well...I'm just a tad jealous of my friend Jon Dumitru who I have talked about on this blog before. His blog is great, and he's actually the one that motivated me to start my own blog and has had the duty over the last 2 years to make sure I update this on a regular basis. LIKE ANYONE CARES!!! Anyway, he's a city council member for the city of Orange as well as the Mayor Pro Tem, and he's been at the center of an issue that otherwise SHOULDN'T be news but because our society is hell bent on making sure we're politically correct about everything, it HAS turned into an issue. In any event...Jon was a GUEST on the John and Ken Show yesterday afternoon...and in case you want to listen to this friend of mine of 14 years, who yes, spent $20 of his own hard earned money and had a "money dance" with me at my wedding in 1995...go to:

http://a1135.g.akamai.net/f/1135/18227/1h/cchannel.download.akamai.com/18227/podcast/LOSANGELES-CA/KFI-AM/JK1128075P.mp3?CPROG=PCAST&MARKET=LOSANGELES-CA&NG_FORMAT=talk&SITE_ID=616&STATION_ID=KFI-AM&PCAST_AUTHOR=KFI_AM_640&PCAST_CAT=Arts_and_Entertainment&PCAST_TITLE=JOHN_AND_KEN

Anyway--good job Jon!! And while I'm at it...I might as well make sure I'm abundantly clear about where I stand on "illegal aliens". Package it in any form you want to, call them whatever you like (migrant workers, undocumented immigrants, whatever), make them to be the martyrs all you want....I say ROUND THEM ALL UP, AND DUMP THEM ON THE CAPITAL STEPS OF WASHINGTON DC AND SAY "YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU DEAL WITH THEM!!!!!!!!!!!" No no no...wait a second...we can't depend on our Federal Government for much of anything anymore, so let me restate my goal. Round up all the illegal aliens, and DEPORT THEM BACK TO THEIR COUNTRY OF ORIGIN and show them the LEGAL way to enter our country. And while we're at it, actually FOLLOW FEDERAL LAW and CRIMINALLY CHARGE COMPANIES that hire illegal aliens. Just as Jon said on his guest appearance yesterday--you CUT OFF THE SOURCE OF THE MONEY, and they'll go away. Trust me. They'll go away.

It's sort of like gas prices that everyone and their mother bitches about. You want to spend less on gas?? STOP DRIVING SO MUCH!!!! Real easy.

I'm out

Sorry...just found this too...I NEED HELP!!!

2007-11-20T16:53:00.000-08:00

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!

I FOUND IT!!!!!!!!!!

2007-11-20T16:49:00.000-08:00

I remembered this stupid video clip from several months ago and just found it...DANG I'm good. For all of you Star Wars fans...this is for you. FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!!!

Uhhhhhhhh...I'm speechless

2007-11-19T22:13:00.000-08:00

So, in the modern area of band and drum corps, we in the "biz" are assailed by flashy ads and slick marketing. Watch this next "promotional" film for Conn--it's part of Mystery Science Theater 3000, so you'll have to a have a "special sense of humor" to truly appreciate this. But I think you will agree...

WE'VE COME A HECKUVA A LONG WAY!!!!

(Special note to Pat Seidling...don't EVER put out an ad like this!)

No good will come of this...none a'tall

2007-11-19T21:24:00.000-08:00

Look...this is just not right...

If you ever see or hear two cats doing this, I would highly suggest leaving the room, possibly the house, or even consider going to a different city. No good can come of this behavior.

Ya think police pursuits would come to a grinding halt??

2007-11-17T11:33:00.000-08:00

If this was barrelling down a highway at you, I think you'd be wise to PULL THE HELL OVER!!

Oh I went and did it now...

2007-11-16T13:33:00.000-08:00

So last night after I posted my little previous tizzy fit, I popped in Transformers--The Michael Bay Experience thinking that maybe watching big giant robots fart around on the screen would relieve me a little of the awful stress and frustration that's currently chomping a hole in my stomach. Nothing a little Diet Coke can't fix--don't worry. But in any event, I was sadly mistaken. I ended up irritated...here's why.

--The chick that plays the "love interest" in the movie...yeah...good ol' what's her name. Very memorable. Other than the fact that she was clearly about 30 years old, and NOT a high schooler, she spent every seen looking like she was just waking up. Her emotional stretch in the movie was to cry--but only a little bit--when Bumblebee was getting pwned by the Section 7 numbnuts. Which, a scene in and of itself, was supposed to create an emotional stretch for me as I was supposed to feel sorry for the poor underdog Bumblebee. The only thing I needed to stretch was my back--it was sore. There was NO bonding between me the viewer and Bumblebee.

--Bumblebee. WTF. You have Megatron, BoneCrusher, Star Scream, Ironhide, Optimus Prime...and Bumblebee. Do I need to point out the obvious?

--Michael Bay sucks. If you get past the explosions and quick cuts, there's this little thing in movie making called continuity. I could never, for the freakin' life of me, figure out the "timing" of things. His movies are so disjointed timewise that you're wondering "How the hell did the sun go down so fast?!?!?" Case in point. The Mitwicki/Nitwicki whatever lead charter played by LeBouf whatshisputz goes to a "party" in a park in his car with a nerd friend, who thank GOD IN HEAVEN is only in THAT scene. Sun is CLEARLY up. CLEARLY it's day time. Hot chick who becomes love interest storms away, he goes and picks her up, there on a road, and seemingly he's going to take her home. Next thing we see, the sun is just beginning to wane, BUT AMAZINGLY THEY SHOW UP ON A DIRT ROAD ON A HILL WITH A TREEEEEEEEE!!! For God's sakes. WHY?? HOW??? Anyway, the car spurts and stalls and you have the famous "hood scene" as LeBouf is practically salivating and oogling the 30 year old high school senior who is checking out his engine. Scene lasts about 4 minutes (too long) and the next thing you see is them driving away from this hilltop spot as the car miraculously begins to work and he continues is gallant ways and takes her home. Assuming of course they were in the same city, the NEXT shot is him pulling up to her house, as if HOURS had passed--it's TOTALLY night time, and I'm making a big damn deal about this because it ties in to what the broad says as she gets out of the car. "Well, I had fun today..." FUN!??!?!?!!? Fun doing WHAT????? You looked at his engine and got a ride from a dorky nerd. That sort of non-sequiter crap is sooooooooo Michael Bay. He must be sitting back and say "JUST GET TO THE EXPLOSIONS PART!!! HURRY UP!!! I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS WHAT THEY SAY!!!!"

--The "cube" is of extreme importance to the Autobots and Decepticons. Fine. Bumblebee is, as the underdog should, able to be saved from the Section 7 dips and led to where this giant building sized cube is. He/IT puts his/its hands on the cube, and magically, it Rubik's cubes itself down to a loaf of bread size box. Fine! I CAN BUY THAT. But uhhhh...I'm not a scientist, but I'm thinking if this cube fell out of space, which it did, and landed deep in earth, which it did, than I'm thinking it ways more than a few pounds, right? Right. Let's pretend it way a ton. 2000 lbs. This thing "transforms" and folds and rotates down to the size of a box. Shouldn't that box weigh a ton???? I didn't lose mass, right? Just volume. Krikey.

--Why give the stupid cube to a stupid dorky human to run about 20 miles to some stupid building to hand off to the military while two Autobots run defense for him. I would have just said, "Uhhhh, Ironhide, you're the one with the freakin' bazooka hands, YOU TAKE IT." It was DUMBEST plot device I had ever seen in a movie. If it was soooooooooo stinking important, what the hell is human running around with it. Not to mention the shot they showed of the building to take it to was approximately 1 block away, but the nerdy kid seemed to run from here in Brea to Abileen freaking Texas. JUST GET TO THE BUILDING ALREADY.

They filmed part of the movie in Pasadena. The school exterior shots were of Marshall Fundamental on Allen Ave near my dad's house, and it's where my grandfather was a coach and teacher back in the 30's and 40's. The car lot where Bernie Mac sold the Camaro (Bumblebee) is on Lake Ave, just south of Eliot Junior HS. Oh yeah--and part of the pursuit in the first part of the movie was filmed in downtown Pasadena, specifically on Oakland St. just south of Colorado by the First United Methodist Church, which you can clearly see in the background. I know the homes in the neighborhood are of Pasadena Gamble house Mission style Craftsmen blend. I am geeking out here, hanh?

Anyway...there you go. My take.

Oh wait--one more observation.

--John Turturro...sometimes critics will politely say about an actor "...he really chewed up the scenes" or "...was really over the top". For Turturro in Transformers, his acting was so bad that the previous two descriptions fall FAR SHORT of what TRULY described his embarrassing take on being a "man in black". Yikes.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...now I feel better.

Rules of conduct...

2007-11-15T20:45:00.000-08:00

SIGH.

Some guy named Tim O'Reilly coined the popular term "Web 2.0". If you want to know more about him, Wiki him. I don't provide links. Do it yourself. In any case, he is a blogger. I guess he, for whatever reason (ohhh I don't know--maybe to stop the phone calls????????????) came up with a Bloggers Rules of Conduct...and they are as follows...

--Take responsibility not just for your own words, but for the comments you allow on your blog.
--Label your tolerance level for abusive comments.
--Consider eliminating anonymous comments.
--Ignore the trolls.
--Take the conversation offline, and talk directly, or find an intermediary who can do so.
--If you know someone who is behaving badly, tell them so.
--Don't say anything online that you wouldn't say in person.

That's pretty basic stuff. I especially take to heart the first and last rules. But apparently I didn't take it to heart while, in the heat of posting my last post and with a lot of angst and incredible amounts of stress and self-loathing, I typed some comments that, well, NOT TO ME but to others were construed as beneath me and angry or whatever. This isn't the first time this has occurred. For WHATEVER reason, and I don't know still exactly what its about, but this STUPID FREAKIN' BLOG gets to people.

So...I'm going to go back now and dumb down what I said before. If anyone was tweaked about what I wrote before, my most sincere and humble apologies for having a freakin' opinion. I'm sure the fate of whatever course is set for any "thing" or "group" I referenced will not be in the least affected nor downgraded nor smitten by this one fat guy's OPINION. (breath Turner) I'll "temper" my words in such a way so that I'll only reference things in the most bland and oblique ways so as to not cast ANY negative light whatsoever, even if said negative light was in fact FRUSTRATION BASED BECAUSE I COULDN'T FIT INTO WHAT I WAS DESCRIBING BEFORE DUE TO MY LACK OF WHATEVER--CALL IT ABILITY--LACK OF PATIENCE--LACK OF VISION--YOU NAME IT, IT WAS MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY FAULT.

(see?? oblique wasn't it????)

Can I just make a suggestion?. Please don't read this blog anymore. It's just going to get really boring from here on out. Really. Because sensitivity is just at an all time high in the world. I mean, if Santa Claus can't even say "Ho Ho Ho" because he might offend WOMEN (uhhh...yeah, true story...Google it, I don't do the link stuff very well), or newscaster can't call a rape suspect HISPANIC because, GOD FORBID, it's a racial profile, than WHO THE HELL AM I to think that I can speak candidly about MY frustrations and reference those things in my life that are...uh....FRUSTRATING. I'll just talk about happy things, and post links to funny videos, and put cute pictures of my two kids, and Skip To My Lou and Tu Ra Lu Ra Lu Ra.

Meanwhile, I'm going to go to Ebay after I finish doing my Mr. Nice Guy Dumb Down Edit and see if they have any thick skin for sale.

I believe some need it.

Bah ####ing humbug.

Random thoughts...

2007-11-12T15:33:00.000-08:00

--Day off today, and VERY unmotivated to do much. Went to IKEA this morning with the fam damily and bought a few items of importance. Had fun walking through IKEA with just my wife as we were able to leave the kids in the playland they have there. I would randomly yell out, "SILENCE....or I'll KILLLLL you" in the voice of Achmed the Dead Terrorist. Don't know what I'm talking about? YouTube it. Freakin' hilarious.

--For those that don't know my family very well, I have two older brothers. One is 10 years older than me and lives with my dad in Pasadena and is basically his caretaker. My other brother is 6 years older than me, has Down Syndrome, and lives in a residential care home. His health is starting to become a concern. More news to follow as soon as I hear anything.

--I love my children very much. But I am SO scared for them. This world around us is just getting worse and worse.

--Judged on Saturday at Riverside King HS for a Marching Band Open Series show. Just amazing to me and probably to noone else on the planet, but I was on top of the pressbox judging with the legendary Frank Dorrite and his wife, Shirley. They both judged ME back in the mid 80's when I was with VK. Frank is a GRAMMY AWARD WINNING MUSICIAN for God's sakes, and here I was sharing a table with him. He's just sooooooo cool. And his wife is hilarious. And on the panel was Mike Rubino--LEGENDARY. And my old trombone section leader from Cal State Long Beach Trent Newton who ended up being the band director at Valley View HS in Moreno Valley and who I ended up writing drill for back in the mid 90's (only to lose the position to this other drill designer guy...MYRON ROSANDER!!!....who incidentally, is my idol!! But them's the breaks in the biz, my boy...). Anyway...I see things like this and it makes me chuckle. The same people I used to look up to, and I'm standing NEXT to. Sort of surreal for me. Almost like "TURNER, how the HELL did you get HERE?!?!? Shouldn't you be somewhere else????" Freud's probably flipping in his grave right now blaming it on my mom!!

--Watched my wife perform last night in an Interfaith Choral Festival down in Irvine. Choirs from all different religions performed. Pretty cool actually. Then the mass choir at the end got together and sang a song directed by the head dude of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. He flew down from Utah especially for this performance. Interesting. He was whisked away as he barely finished conducting the piece because he had to fly to New York for an early morning meeting. Cool guy. Crazy. But cool.

--Nyleen still sick but managing things FAR better than with the previous kids. Good job. Apparently during the concert last night my yet-to-be-born son was using my wife's bladder as a kickboxing practice pad. But boy could my wife hit those high notes!!!! :-)

--This has been a very odd year in the world of pageantry activities. Odd. Very odd. Couple of the schools I wrote for are EXTREMELY successful, another one I wrote for SHOULD be successful but is not catching a break, my availabilities sucked for SCSBOA to judge, managed though to work with Marching Band Open Series (the new judging circuit kid on the block) by announcing AND judging for them (but not at the same time--I'm good, but not THAT good), learned Pyware and was able to design all of my shows on Pyware this year, made a decent amount of extra income this year with the design business....but strangely....something was missing. I can't put a finger on exactly what it was. I can theorize though. I had a VERY rough spring writing writing for 3 corps. I bit off WAY more than I could chew. And no fault to the organizations I was with because I can't imagine they did anything remotely wrong at all, I think I really really shot myself in the foot trying to be too much to too many people. Coupled with a promotion (and the fact I had to wait for a LONG time--no offense meant to ANYONE associated with the OCFA, past, present OR future), I think my stress level was/is at a point where I'm probably not as "happy" as I have been. I've always viewed my involvement with marching band, winter guard, and drum corps in the summer as an "outlet" to get "away" from the Fire Department. Call it balance. This year--not so much. And I was particularly testy with some people that normally I'm not testy with, but on the other hand, I think there were some really @*&@ing stupid things done as well. So all of that being said...I'm definitely taking the spring off. I'm taking a break from any FORMAL involvement with any drum and bugle corps for the spring because corps have enough on their plate than having to deal with a loser like me, I informed one of my best friends in the whole world that (nothing personal--even though I can't help but think now that it was taken personally, but that's what I get for expressing an opinion) I needed a break this spring, and I need to concentrate and get ready for H3, debuting in March. Wait...did I just offend my wife by referencing my soon-to-be born son as H3? I better check.

--It's called balance. And I need to balance things out. For the first time in about 10 years, financially, while far from being perfect and debt free, we have made some MAJOR MAJOR strides in getting ourselves out of debt and trying to be somewhat frugal at the same time, but COMFORTABLE. Hahahaha. We could do so much more, but somehow--we're doing it anyway.

--H3. If I'm so scared for my two kids I already have, what am I doing bringing a third one into the picture? Who knows. I hope he gets born with a few extra layers of skin. He may be hearing my opinion at times. God forbid.

--Heroes. Watch it. Good stuff. Well...mostly good. Hiro Nakamura sort of grates on my nerves. But good TV. And I don't usually say good TV. And I saw the pilot for the next "24" season. Can't say I jumped out of my chair in ecstasy, but, the writers somehow know how to get me wrapped up. We'll see how it goes. Side note--I'm a HUGE FAN of putting TV series on DVD's. I've watched all 6 seasons of 24 and the first season of Heroes. I can't begin to tell you how much I love NOT having to sit through inane and juvenile commercials that insult my intelligence--what little I have. I HIGHLY recommend it.

That's it from the random thought department. Nothing too funny, nothing too profound, sort of blah actually, but that's sort of how I feel. Perhaps I need to start drinking Monsters again to get my spark back. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Thanks for reading. Now...be off with you.

Pretty horrendous last 2 weeks...

2007-11-04T12:56:00.000-08:00

Hi there--while my buddy over at http://jdaroundorange.blogspot.com/ does a great job of giving a day to day accounting of the fires that hit southern California and Orange County in particular, even his words or any that I could come up with do it justice. Back in 2003, I was a newly promoted supervisor, and was on duty the day the 2003 Firestorm started. All of southern California, much like this year, seemingly was on fire. But the two fires that really garnered the attention of the world back then were the Old Fire up along the hills and mountains that parallel the 210 Freeway in San Bernardino and parts of LA County, and of course, the apocalyptic Cedar Fire. We were so lucky in Orange County that year. We didn't have any fires that required more than an hour to put out. No major "campaign" fires. BUT...we worked our tails off to provide strike teams and additional personnel to all of our fire brothers and sisters in neighboring counties. I remember my Activity Report one night showing that between us and our partners in Orange County through MetroNet Fire, we were able to afford to send out 10 strike teams to various locales to assist as best as we could.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. The amount of mutual aid that we received for our major campaign fire was substantial to say the least--ONLY AFTER OUR GREAT CHIEF GOT ON LOCAL MEDIA AND SAID, "Hello!!!!!!!!! We're going to lose homes if we don't get help!!" Just as my friend Jon said on his blog, we were essentially fighting our fire alone with just our units and some much needed (and appreciated) help from MetroNet Fire (for those that have no clue what I'm talking about, MetroNet is a dispatch agency that dispatches for Anaheim, Orange, Fountain Valley, Fullerton, Huntington Beach and Newport Beach and is the coordinator for the independent fire departments like Laguna, Santa Ana, and Brea). In any event, all political posturing aside for a moment, once the calvary arrived, BOY did it arrive. We lost homes (24???), which is NOTHING like what happened in other areas of southern California. But we could have had some major problems if not for two things...

First, the AMAZING job of our dispatch/command center. Sometimes as a group of people we can get just about as "dysfunctional" as any family can, but I'm telling you, there were people in our center that were making some major sacrifices for the team. I can't begin to tell you the plethora of things that happened, but "team work" was the word, and we rose to the occasion. I'm VERY proud to be part of the OCFA ECC.

And secondly, and even more amazingly, the performance of our guys out in the field. There were people out there I heard yelling in their radios that I consider friends of mine, and you don't know "stress" until you hear panic in the voices of those you consider not only your friends, but HEROES in the fire service. I had to make a recording of the famous "burnover" that occurred where thankfully, none of our guys was hurt. But the Battalion Chief that was the main person in command of this and who I respect a great deal--I could it hear it in his voice, and it's tough for me NOT to put on the shoes of someone else and I could feel his frustration and fear during his radio transmissions. Everything worked out and I'm grateful--but a huge salute to the BC in charge of this emergency when it happened.

I don't know if 2007 will be worse that 2003, or 1993 for that matter, but I will tell you this. I can truthfully say in my 14 years of working, this was really my first MAJOR campaign fire. I've worked big ones before (Antonio Fire, Blackstar 1999, the December USFS screw up, the jet crash, etc), but this was bigger than I ever thought we could get.

In other news--

I had lunch with a big name drum corps guy this past week that I'm not going to advertise WHO it was. But I will say that it's someone who knows how to produce a Top 3 drum corps, and fancy that, knows a WHOLE LOT ABOUT A LOT OF OTHER THINGS. Get this--he wanted to "pick my brain" about the southern California band and corps scene. Step right up brother--you picked the right guy.
Wife is still sick and not doing well. Pregnancy--in a word--SUCKS.
Announced a show last week and had a VERY nice and sort of long chat with another big name in drum corps, Frank Dorritte. Man this guy is 61 and is just AMAZING. We talked a lot about the direction of drum corps, about this whole amplification and narration business, etc, etc. And guess what? He may address something I actually told him about in his next column.

That's about it--just wanted to check in. Special thanks to Jon for doing a great job with the photos and narrative on his blog.

Fires to the left of me...fires to the right of me...

2007-10-30T06:36:00.001-07:00

Wow--has southern California had its proverbial ASS handed to us this past week? I should think so. It's been hellacious to say the least. Welcome to my blog--the first entry I've had time to write after what I think will go down as probably the worst firestorm we've had ever in terms of loss of life, property and acreage (disclaimer--I COULD be wrong about that because 2003 was PRETTY DANG BAD...but there's a political side to 2007 that may push this firestorm into the "worst ever" category). As most of you know, if you follow my blog, in my other life, I'm a Senior Communications Supervisor for the OCFA Command Center. I was called into work on Sunday morning at 0900hrs because of the severe wind event we were having. It was pretty bad. But bad was redefined for me later that day at about 6pm.

A fire broke out at Santiago Canyon Road at Silverado Canyon Rd, and fanned by constant 40mph northeast winds with gusts to 80+, it quickly spread and became what you have all read about in the news. When an event occurs like this, activity level in the Command Center goes off the charts. Obviously. We get innudated with 911 calls, we need to dispatch units, we need to set up a system to monitor the big incident and try to not let it impact the day-t0-day incidents that still occur (like medical aids and traffic accidents and what have you)...so it becomes very chaotic in a very very short amount of time. It's akin to going from 0-60 in about 2 seconds.

In any event, along with a crack staff of dispatchers and supervisors that REALLY REALLY rose to the challenge and performed extraordinarily well and showed some great teamwork for the most part, we got through this disaster. But what's sort of (darkly) funny is what happened when our Santiago Fire was REALLY cooking. Here's a copy of the email I just sent to the dispatch staff here--should be self-explanatory:

Thought this might be interesting—

So, while the end of the world was occurring in Santiago Canyon and the flames were literally at our door (LITERALLY—go look at the landscape along the 261), we began receiving tons of reports of a fire—A REALLY BIG FIRE—on the Ortega [Highway] and in the hills above San Clemente. At this point in the game, I pretty much threw my hands up in the air and said to myself, “Nice knowing ya San Juan Capistrano!” because all we had I think left in our inventory was a patrol, a 1948 Le France [Fire Engine], and some guy on a horse with a fire extinguisher. In any event, I was in constant contact with Chief Dave Pierce who resides in Dana Point, as well as Camp Pendleton Fire dispatch. A sample of one of our calls is as follows:

Chief Pierce: Hey Ryan, so uh, do you know about the fire in the hills above San Clemente?
Me: San Clemente? That’s one of our cities?
Chief Pierce: Well uhhhh, yeah, it’s about to NOT be one of our cities. You are aware of the fire, right?
Me: Just a second Chief, I’m almost at the end of the internet. Just two seconds.
Chief Pierce: Uhhhh, so, uhhhh, not to be an alarmist but…uhhh…you are aware of the fire that is currently bearing down on the city of San Clemente, is that right?
Me: Fire, schmire…Camp Pendleton is burning up. Don’t worry, be happy.

Little did I know, Chief Pierce was reporting pretty much what you see in the enclosed picture, so hence, his right to be a TAD nervous…as well as the right of the 13,257 people from the city of San Clemente who, nervously, called me asking just how far should they evacuate to, or should they just jump into the Pacific.

Enjoy…

So this shot is from Dana Point looking "south" to San Clemente (blinking lights in the hills) and to the fire (big mushroom cloud looking thing from behind the mountain). VERY scary picture, and in all seriousness, even for seasoned fire professionals, can make your heart race quite a bit. Chief Pierce, who has told me he is an infrequent reader of my stupid blog, is one of our Assistant Chiefs and a former "boss" of mine as he used to be the Battalion Chief of the Command Center many moons ago. Great guy and I'm sure he doesn't mind the creative liberty I took with the phone call example above...RIGHT CHIEF!?!? CHIEF!?!? RIGHT?????

Another HUGE component of this fire that is sort of being lost in the media frenzy and the political "finger pointing" is the one simple fact...we had high temps, high winds, and no humidity. In other words, the ABSOLUTE WORST in conditions. To me, and in my experience, you could have had 400 fire engines lined up in a row, 4 firefighters on each engine, each person holding a 2 inch hose hooked up to the most powerful pump with a never-ending source of water, and they STILL would have had significant problems trying to control this fire or ANY vegetation fire in these conditions. In the fire service, we use a term used on structure fires called "going defensive". That means the fire is too overwhelming for the equipment and personnel on scene, and instead of trying to go into a fire and putting it out, we pull back and protect things that HAVEN'T burned yet from burning (like other buildings for instance). In the case of a wildfire like what we had (and granted, I may not be an expert in fire behavior), I highly doubt anyone would disagree--you don't stand a chance in putting the fire OUT...you stand a greater chance protecting life and property that are in the way of the fire. You evacuate, you set up a defensive line, you protect your firefighters and save the houses as best as you can. What the media will have you believe, for example (classic example--I HEARD IT PERSONALLY), is something like "...and while houses burned, firefighters drove by and didn't even put water on the flames." Well...NO KIDDING. When a fire of such magnitude is burning so hot, and so fast (case in point--the Witch Fire in Rancho Bernardo), you can barely keep up with the progress of the fire. Burning embers, high winds, high heat...it quickly becomes overwhelming. And firefighters do NOT need to be losing their lives putting out a house fire. Homes can be rebuilt. So...in case you're wondering about how the media MAY spin this, just remember...conditions this past week, in a word, SUCKED.

Another component that hits me in BOTH of my "worlds" if you will (band geek stuff and fire stuff) is that one of southern California's best marching bands, Rancho Bernardo HS, had I believe about 15 kids whose homes were destroyed. That's absolutely heartbreaking. I'm not sure if any kids from Poway HS or Mt. Carmel HS lost homes--haven't heard. I sure hope not. I think Ramona HS and Fallbrook HS (both with band programs) also had kids that lost homes.

OK...enough fire stuff. Now on to important matters.

Remember...H3. Debuting in March. Well--there's a bit more to the story.

We need names. For HIM. Yep. HIM. I was hoping for a girl, but, I'm good with a boy! It's just that my Michael Ryan at 3 is running me freakin ragged, and I'm like already 65 years old or something!!! :-) The Warden is still sick but hanging tough. We're hoping she doesn't come down with that crappy toxemia which has dogged her the last two kids. That's the LAST thing we need is her being put on mandatory bed rest.

Other news...interesting phone call from a band director in Illinois, wanting to tap into the comic genius that apparently I'm equated with because of my involvement with the Velvet Knights. We'll see how this pans out. Has great potential. We shall see.

Interesting email received a couple of days ago by a big name in the drum corps world that wants to meet with me for lunch this week. His email was rather implicit--SOON was what he said. Hmmmmmm...always an adventure in the life of Ryan, eh? We shall see.

Onwards and upwards...going now to start my day here at the OCFA. I'll leave you with this pic, taking at long range, of me announcing at the Rose Bowl on Friday, August 9th, for the Kingsmen Alumni Corps performance at Drum Corps International's semi finals before a crowd of about 10,000 - 12,000 people. Notice the sunburn. I had been announcing that day at Pasadena City College so I was out in the sun, and sunblock did little for me apparently.

And no...that's not a mumu. It's my lucky Hawaiian shirt.

Now get outta here!!!!!!!!

Hi everyone--I'm back...and boy oh boy...

2007-10-13T02:55:00.000-07:00

Just when you thought it was safe to ignore this stupid blog, here I am again. Seemingly to have forgetten this ill-fated experiment in publishing my thoughts, I have come to my senses and realized that due to my INCREDIBLE speed at typing, that it really isn't all that big a deal to type a few words here and there and "check in" with you all that feel the need to see what "The H" is thinking about, or worse, what's going on in my pathetic yet somehow over-the-top busy life. Let me give you a run down--I think it's August I need to go back to....

--Biggest news in August was that my whole announcing gig with Drum Corps International at the Division II/III semi, finals, and Grand Finals was an overwhelming if not ultimately HOT experience. I think I did exactly what I set out to do, and that's be the absolute BEST at what I do in the announcing world. Apparently DCI noticed, as I was approached a few times by PTM's (people that matter) saying "Get ready to travel next summer", hinting that I would be seeing more involvement with DCI maybe on a national level. Mission accomplished.

--Second biggest news, but only second by a smidge, was the announcing job I got to do for the Kingsmen Alumni Corps performance on Friday night at the Rose Bowl. That was an incredible experience. For those of you that have no idea what drum corps is and what it means in my life, suffice it to say that I was standing on the field exactly 20 years after I had "aged out" in 1987 with my last drum corps performance being at Camp Randall Stadium in Madison, Wisconsin. Here I was, back on the field, filling another role, and literally standing next to the "Voice of DCI" Brandt Crocker as I announced on to the field The Kingsmen. And when I figure out how to do it, I'll get a clip of the sound here on the blog so you can hear what The H sounds like booming over the speaker system at the Rose Bowl. I think I gave God Himself a run for the money. Mission accomplished with a minor taint of sadness--Two things...one, I wish my mom was there. But I had the next best thing there which was my mother-in-law, who adopted me back in 1994 right after my mom died. And secondly, I wish my dad was there. Unfortunately, my dad's health is not too good these days, so getting him to the Rose Bowl in that heat that day to hear me announce would have been too much. Sad...but...that's what happens when parents get old.

--While DCI was a significant investment of time, the other significant investment was my show design business. Probably not a good idea to admit this on my blog read by millions, but it was a case of priorities and trying my best to make things work. I seemed to constantly be behind with drill this year, but in August, I really worked my ass off to make my dreams work. Mission accomplished but not without some fatalities along the way!! LOL!!! Note to self: Try not to work with band directors that change their music after you already wrote them an opener. Yeah. Nice idea.....NOT!

In September:

--Came home one day from work. My wife says, "I've got something for you to see." Thinking she was going to hand me the keys to my new Ford F-250 with a 6.0L diesel engine, I gleefully followed her to...the bathroom. Hmmmm...strange. Well, I'll take my keys anywhere thank you. She points to a cylindrical object on the sink counter, plastic, sort of like a thermometer but with a space on the end that had a symbol in it. What are you showing me woman? A clue to where my keys will be??? What's this?? What's the meaning of this blue cross symbol? "I'm due in March." HANH!?!?!?!? Due what? Library book? What????

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....THAT DUE?!?!?!?! Yeah.

H3.

Premiers in March, 2008.

It better be a girl.

--Auditioned--wait wait wait...INTERVIEWED for the Senior Fire Communications Supervisor position here at the Orange County Fire Authority. Not nearly as traumatic and full of drama as the last promotional exam and testing process from 5 years ago, but it was there a little. Lots of good candidates. I then find out I got the position...and that a person that I got hired with back in 1994, Jenny Cradle, got promoted as well into my old position. Pretty cool. Although my plate of responsibility and headaches just turned into a freakin' buffet line at the Mandalay Bay--which incidentally, is GREAT!!!

--Started dealing with inevitable horrible pregnancy complications that affect Nyleen. She's very sick. But at least she's not being hospitalized like the last 2 kids. Will have to keep an eye on her.

--In the thick of drill design with my 9 client bands, battling in particular with one client which hasn't been any fun at all. Unfortunate communication issues dog us. Hopefully we'll figure things out.

And here in October...

--Plugging away...just plugging away.

That's about it from me for now--more to come when I'm more conscious and able to actually remember things. Seeing as though it's now 3:43 am as I type this, I'm lucky I can even remember my own name.

Get.

Outta.

Here.

Has the dust settled???

2007-08-31T19:01:00.001-07:00

Welcome back Turner....what are ya??

BUSY!?!?!?!?

Busy to say the least. Frustrated. Happy. Sad. Elated. Concerned. Anxious. Nervous to the point of stomach issues. Oh man....where do I start?

Two of the most important things right now that are over and done with that I was able to proudly say to myself "GOOD JOB!!!" if no one else would be able to: The announcing gig at the Rose Bowl, and my promotional interview and presentation at the Fire Department. I will expand further on both at a later time, but suffice it to say, those were two of the most challenging things on my mind these past several weeks. Both were opportunities that would/will open doors (OR CLOSE THEM) to the future, and I don't think I've ever been as "wound up" about this stuff before in my life...except back to the time I was getting ready to audition for drum major for my high school band in 1982 and had anxiety related diarrhea for 2 weeks PRIOR. Yeah. THAT was fun. Anyway...there's a lot of emotional and strange "baggage" involved with the Rose Bowl gig that I'll expand upon later.

The other biggee--the promotional--well, it's been on my mind obviously. Outside of the weighing in my mind if I wanted to actually follow through with the interview, I was going up against some heavy competition. There were going to be 7 of us, all of my competitors bringing something to the table. Then, strangely, not without at least some lovely DRAMA, 4 of the competitors pulled out, citing various reasons. I was pretty disappointed with one of the people that pulled out as I could have definitely worked for that person had that person beat me. And that person probably WOULD have. Because that person is very talented and needs a swift kick in the ass to remind THIS PERSON. Suffice it to say, that left the field to just three. Me, my comrade in arms and fellow blogging giant Jon Dumitru, and someone that was hired the same time I was back in 1994 Jenny Cradle. I couldn't afford to worry about those two leading into the interview and presentation, it was only AFTERWARDS that my self-esteem plummetted. LOL!!! I think all three of us uniquely qualify for the office. We all have strengths that could be utilized nicely. Our weaknesses are nothing out of the ordinary, certainly nothing worse than some of the qualities of people that hold FAR loftier positions than what I'm striving for. So...what this is going to come down to is not how many years we've been here, or how quickly I can pull a technical tidbit of knowledge out of my butt, or how I well I'll be able to supervise a whole CENTER full of people versus just a shift....rather, it will come down, inevitably, to the person that is going to fit the position the best. The person that will be able to learn, be taught, be able to use what is taught in some meaningful way, who believes in the organization, and will be able to motivate others. Am I the best for the job? I am one of the best, that's for sure. But I certainly don't DESERVE it. I have to EARN it. And if I DON'T earn it, than it's worth...

NOTHING.

That's my update--when I get a chance, I'll get back here and rap with you all abouts some cool experiences over the last few weeks.

HERE'S THE ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

2007-08-08T08:22:00.000-07:00

A little later than I intended--but here it is nonetheless.

Yesterday, while I was at Pasadena City College announcing the Division II/III World Championship Prelims, I received official word that Drum Corps International gave the nod of approval for me to announce on Friday night at the Rose Bowl for the Kingsmen Alumni Corps!! I was ESTATIC when I got that phone call. I CAN'T WAIT. There's a bunch of campy sappy emotional stuff tied up with this that I won't waste you're valuable reading time on--but suffice it to say, 20 years after aging out performing my last drum corps show at Camp Randall Stadium in Madison, Wisconsin in 1987, here I am announcing for DCI, AND I get to go to the "Big Show" and announce for a historic event. There's a bunch of FULL CIRCLE weirdness that surrounds this as well--again, I won't waste your time now with it. But maybe I'll explain it later.

Bottom line--I had a goal, and I made it. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Now...about yesterday...I announced at PCC and had a great time. Lots of fun! I think that it was one of my best times ever announcing. I was pretty nervous as I felt in some ways that my job I did yesterday was all about "first impressions" with a bunch of people from all over the country that have no clue who I am. So, I wanted to make sure they knew their announcer was at the very least COMPETENT (side note: I've heard some HORROR stories over the years of drum corps show announcers across the country doing absolutely HORRIBLE things...so horrible in fact that I'm surprised that DCI doesn't hire a "staff announcer" to tour all summer...but that's another story). Needless to say, I had a great time yesterday. Lots of fun.

Strange event of the day--and it's about this stupid blog. HOW MANY PEOPLE READ THIS!?!?! I actually wish I knew. I wonder if there is a way to get a counter or something to tell me how many people read this. In any case, I'm standing there, minding my own business on the track, waiting I believe for the final 6 corps chunk to get started. And a very nice man in the audience says to me, "So...what's your big announcement?" Unfortunately, I had no idea who this man was, but I knew exactly what he was talking about. Here's someone at a corps show at PCC asking ME about my FREAKIN' BLOG!?!?! LOL!!!!! I sort of stammered for a second, thinking to myself, "Uhhhhh...jeez...whoisthiswhoisthiswhoisthiswhoisthis..." but I very politely talked to him for a few minutes. Apparently this guy is going to the Kingsmen Exhibition tonight at Veteran's stadium--so maybe he'll come up to me and say "Read your big announcement!" LOL!!! And this time I'll say "And you are???" LOL!!!

Anyway...on to writing drill and getting some stuff handled today. Thanks for reading this blog. I don't know WHAT drives some of you to read this blog...but so be it.

NOW GET OUTTA HERE!!! (...and have a nice day...)

Off I go...into the wild blue yonder...

2007-08-04T06:32:00.000-07:00

'Tis the final week of drum and bugle corps MAYHEM this summer, at least for me. Actually, that's not ENTIRELY true. I did write the drill for So Cal Dream All-Age Drum and Bugle Corps out of Torrance, California, and their championships aren't until the Saturday before Labor Day. But the JUNIOR corps season is on its last week. I'm tempted to type LAST LEGS. But...there's a reason I won't get too "wordy" about what I mean. Reason: I just don't want to rehash everything.

But truth be told. I learned a lot this past season, deciding, stupidly, to attempt to lay claim to the title of "If THEY/HE can do it, SO CAN I!!!" I wrote for three corps. Not entirely the smartest thing to do ever. But I certainly learned a lot--and I also learned A LOT ABOUT PEOPLE. Especially people I thought I knew. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah...realizing that I'm not perfect keeps me from opening a big can of WHOOP ASS on my own blog and laying into certain folks. Suffice it to say--this "learning experience" pushed me a little into a corner. Unfortunately, I came out swinging, and I'm still a little, how should I say, "hair triggered". I'll just leave it at that.

And one more thing.

I'll NEVER do that again. And since so many people read this blog, the person that I most wanted to tap on the shoulder so to speak and say "See??? You're not the only one that can do this?" probably doesn't even know I exist, and is experiencing GREAT success this season anyway. Call it a rivalry, call it a tad bit of jealousy, call it whatever. I did it. And now I'm done. I did what I did for the WRONG reasons. And just as a "mentor" told me--if you're not writing drill for the LOVE of writing drill, than please, stop writing drill. Well--I'm not ready to jump off THAT cliff--YET--but yeah. There you go. Age 41. Still figuring my crap out.

OK...so...it's like 6:30 am and I'm typing on my stupid blog. WHY? Well, I had a bout of gastrointestinal difficulties about 2o minutes ago, and now, I'm in that hell between not sure if I want to go back to bed, or get up and write drill. YEAH. For the 8 bands I'm writing for.

Geeeeeeeeeeeesh. I'm sadomasochistic. That's it. I dig being punished. That's why I'm doing it. But actually...truth be told...band directors are FAR EASIER TO WORK WITH, I'll give them THAT much.

Well people, I'm outta here. Getting on the road, heading to Bakersfield for announcing duties for DCI. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh yeah. That REMINDS ME. That little 48 hr window for the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT. I totally forgot. Sorry. Didn't mean to leave ya hanging. Yeah...well...as my information has it...the decision maker, a certain CEO of a certain international drum corps association is the deciding factor right now. And hopefully, I'll be hearing from him.

Then...the announcement will be made. Oh hey...here's a rundown of my week...

TODAY--Saturday: Get on the road to Bakersfield, check in to hotel, get dressed, and on to Bakersfield City College for announcing duties.

SUNDAY--Wake up. Stare at ceiling. Stare at TV. Wait. Wait. Wait some more. Than get dressed, go to Bakersfield City College for PART II of announcing duties. Decide after show if I take DCI up on offer to stay one additional night, or do I go home. Leaning towards home. Gots drill to write.

MONDAY--DRILL DAY AT HOME. Don't call. Don't write. Don't knock on my door, unless you're a methamphetamine dealer. Then we'll talk.

TUESDAY--Division II/III Quarterfinals, Pasadena City College--11am until it ends. Me...a microphone...and history is made. I debut as the "Official Announcer for the Division II/III DCI World Championships". But first...I stop by a hotel in Monrovia for a special secret rendevous with a certain ticket broker. Hmmmm...why????

WEDNESDAY--DRILL DAY. Same instructions apply as above. Except I'm driving to Long Beach Veteran's Memorial Stadium for a special Kingsmen Alumni Corps Exhibition, featuring Impulse, Pioneer, the Nicholson Pipe Band, and someone else....uhhhh...let's see....who is it...something about blue....blue cadets...well, whatever...I'll be there....THE VOICE AT WORK AGAIN...

THURSDAY--DRILL DAY!!!! Talk not to me.

FRIDAY--the day of days. Div II/III semi finals at PCC, 11am until it ends...then, I swing over to the Rose Bowl, meet up with wife, mother in law (flying in from Seattle), brother in law (flying in from Missouri), sister in law (flying in from Utah), another sister in law (flying in from Orange), and we all descend upon the DCI Semi Finals competition. However, we'll be in the LUXURY SUITE #113. Yeah. That's what I did on Tuesday. Picked up my $800 worth of tickets!!!!!! Yeah. $800!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Out of MY pocket. Dang I'm nice. And...AND...the possibility of a major announcement concerning this night looms on the horizon. COME ON ACHESON. COME ON BABY!!! (crossing my fingers...)

SATURDAY--Division II/III GRAND CHAMPIONSHIPS!!! 10:30am...and then??? I'm not exactly sure. I may do a puppy dog act and BEG for a pass to Division I finals, but who knows. We'll see. If I don't go to finals, I'll just go back home, and WRITE DRILL!!!

SUNDAY--DRILL DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MONDAY--back to work.

That's it gang. If there's a computer at my hotel in Bakersfield, I'll check in. If not--later next week. Thanks for reading.

Now get lost.

MAJOR ANNOUCEMENT!!!!!!

2007-08-02T09:20:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry to be coy--it's not my intention. But I received some news via email that shocked me to the point that I was shaking. A ball is rolling on a subject that I long thought was dead and done. And because I can't tell you exactly what it is (fear of jinxing myself actually), I just had to share with my readership (whatever Turner!!!!!) that I may be making a major announcement in the next 48 hours or so...or, I'll be making a major explanation of what DIDN'T happen over the next 48 hours. But I will let just a part of the cat out of the bag...three words...ready?

Rose.

Bowl.

Microphone.

That's all I can say. Well...actually...just so I don't cause a panic...I will say this. NO...I'm NOT replacing the KING OF ANNOUNCERS Brandt Crocker. So no...no weird rumors, please.

More to come!! CHECK OUT MY BLOG OVER THE NEXT 48 HOURS!!!

Catching up a bit...

2007-07-16T15:50:00.000-07:00

It's official. I am TERRIFIED of this blog. So I'm sitting there minding my own business, waiting for my sound system to be set up at Long Beach Veteran's Memorial Stadium, enjoying the warm afternoon sun, the nice breeze, and the sounds of The Academy Drum and Bugle Corps ripping my face off. And up comes Jeff McGinnis, current contra--oh sorry...TUBA coach for Impulse, a volunteer coaching position he's had since the corps was started I believe (THAT is actually AWESOME dedication!!), former director of Brea-Olinda HS (just down the road from my palatial estate in the hills of the Canyon of Carbon), and just all around nice guy. Comes up, shake hands, the old "how ya doin's...boy isn't Academy kicking ass...what's new" back and forth...and then...he drops a bomb.

I REALLY LIKE YOUR BLOG.

DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMIT.

Someone else found me!!! I don't want people reading this swill! WHAT THE?? But in all seriousness, he paid me some nice compliments and I humbly bow to you and your tuba/contra greatness and say "GET OUTTA HERE...but thanks for reading." Heh!! To think. Someone ENJOYS what I have to say!

Speaking of which, apparently I had a LOT to say. I wrote a review off the top of my head, complete with some rather ridiculous grammatical "creative license" (to say the least) up on Drum Corps Planet. Now, if you're one of my readers that for some reason has no clue what drum corps is, which is fine in and of itself, could you do me a favor and get to know it. Because in about 3 weeks Pasadena is going to be rocked by some of the best drum and bugle corps in the world as they descend upon the Rose Bowl. Anyway--if you'd like to see where I was on Saturday night--go to http://www.drumcorpsplanet.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=100870 and read what I had to say. 'Tis better than wasting a perfectly good and obviously WIDELY read blog on my drum corps blatherings.

Outside of the fact that there has been this consistent "behind the scenes" hole in my heart because of the loss of Dixie, I have been rather busy. Getting set up for 7 schools to write for, a possible 8th coming on line soon, in the middle of correcting one drill I already wrote, writing an opener for someone else, and having a great time!!! NO REALLY. I am. My computer program called Pyware is just amazing. Allows me to think differently about drill design. Maybe that means I'll actually get GOOD at it. Doubtful. But I'll try by George...

But yes, the hole in my heart has been there. LURKING in the back of mind. I really do appreciate the fact that people--like my dad for instance--don't give a crap about dogs. If they die, move on. Buy another one. But dog's have feelings and personalities and quirks and what not, and I don't know. I don't want to HUMANIZE so much a dog to the point of being stupid about it, but on the other hand, you look at the picture I posted of that big ass lug of a dog on my lap...and it's CLEAR she's a happy camper. She had a ton of other special "things" about her--like her penchant for turning into the dog you all hear about on the news, but only when in my passenger seat driving on the freeway past an 18 wheeler. Apparently she must have been a small car in a previous life because she would SERIOUSLY freak out at 18 wheelers. Not bobcat trucks. Not pickups. Not even those little reefer half truck dealy bobs. No....18 wheelers. FREAK dog. Her hair would stand up, she'd snarl and spit and growl and stamp her feet and bark...then I'd use my "outdoor voice" (cough cough) and tell her to KNOCK IT OFFFFFFFFF YA FREAK!!!!" And she'd stop and look over her shoulder at me as if to say, "But dude, I just protected you from the large mass of rubber and metal hurtling itself down this road!! KMA!!!" Hahahaha...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh...that dog. She killed me sometimes. And BOY could she rough house. We'd have wrestling matches and she was NOT shy and letting me know where the teeth in the family were, so to speak. And she LOVED grabbing a towel and trying to pull it from me, and then I'd let her "win" and she shake the ever-loving CRAP out of the towel...and then I'd try to grab it back and she'd try to scare me off by doing the low "grrrrrrrrrrrrrr" that rumbled more than anything. Ahhhh those were the times. Or the time I'm trying to announce a Winter Guard International "Friendship Cup" marching band show at RCC several years ago, only to get a call from The Warden saying that Dixie had just eaten an ENTIRE bowl of Hershey Kisses...complete with FOIL!!! Knowing chocolate is poison to dogs, I told Nyleen to get her to the hospital. Well the fat bitch...sorry...I mean my dog was so overweight that the doctor said, "Well, the chocolate won't hurt her, but be ready to pull foil out of her ass!"

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you did NOT just say "Pull foil out of her ass did you?" The Warden was none-too-pleased to be a dog owner.

And yeah.

We pulled foil out of her ass for a week after that incident. Idiot dog.

What else to report on!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH yes. Before ALL of this went down, I got a phone call from ANOTHER voice from my past. Ended up talking to him for about an hour. And it was really great to hear from him--another reader of this blog--HOW I know not--but he found it. Anyway, Eric Dirksen, who may have been responsible more than anyone else in my life besides John Formia to get me interested in public safety as a career versus what I thought God had put me on this earth for and that was band directing. Eric went to PHS but was a year ahead of me. He went on to PCC, and was part of their Cadet Program for the Police Department. He kept encouraging me to apply as a cadet which I finally did in February of 1985 and got picked up. Worked there for the next two years, and eventually was promoted up a couple of levels and ended up being the Cadet Program Coordinator. I was pretty proud of myself for that accomplishment. Then I left on my final tour with VK and I never returned, opting instead to head off to Cal State Long Beach and get my damn teaching credential. Things in life have a way of happening in such a way that make no sense sometimes WHEN they happen, but in retrospect, you're happy that it did.

Someday I'll share with you the serendipity of how I got picked up by Orange County Fire Authority, and how that all played out. VERY interesting--because there's like simultaneous OTHER stories that go right along with it. Later though.

I need to get out of here, which I now will encourage YOU to do. But first--here's a pic of Saturday night. And that would be me on the track at the 5o yd line--and you're looking at the Kingsmen Alumni Corps which ABSOLUTELY set Veteran's Stadium ON FREAKIN' FIRE Saturday night. Enjoy...and then...GET OUTTA HERE!!!!!

That would be me, the red and tan speck, holding the paper--that was my script. Cool?

Good. Once again...GET OUTTA HERE.

Hope you like the new look!

2007-07-13T21:06:00.000-07:00

Didn't realize Blogspot had made their templates a tad more user-friendly. So I thought I'd update the look and throw in a few pictures. You need to scroll down to the very bottom and you'll see a few. Ya know--I appreciate those of you who may read this on a regular-semi-regular basis. Thanks for checking. Sorry to be a bummer in my last posting. It's later in the day and I'm doing better with everything.

See ya...

Tribute to an old friend...

2007-07-13T08:37:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted much up here for a bit, but that's not for a lack of anything happening in my life. Quite the contrary. As any "Type A" personality person can relate to, it's just been one long stream of "things to do". The other day I actually tried to imagine what it would be like to not have something to do, and to just sit, and watch TV or sit on the porch and read a book. After about 30 seconds of that, I started to feel guilty that I was actually taking time to think about this stuff and what I could have done with those 30 seconds I just wasted!!!! LOL!!! Actually, I'm not THAT bad. But...close.

Well--hate to start this blog entry on a downer but I have to tell a little story. Back in 1997, I being married for only 2 years, living in a condo in Placentia, began to worry a little about my wife. She came from a very large family (9 bros and sis's), so needless to say, it was a noisy household. To get married and move away from that was a big change. But on TOP of that was the fact that I worked 24 hr shifts 10 days a month, usually more because of overtime, and I was not sleeping at home during those shifts. Worse would be if I got a 48 or 72 or even a 96 hour stretch. It was a little hard. On top of that, The Warden's whole family moved to Gig Harbor, Washington with the exception of one brother who stayed back.

Trying to think proactively about this situation, and having grown up with dogs my entire life, I went to the Orange County Animal Shelter and started looking around at dogs. They have their shelter pretty organized--the big dogs in one section, the small ankle biters in another, the vicious and mean quarantine area in another. Pretty cool. I especially liked the quarantine area because you could actually look face to face with some truly terrifying dogs. Well, this day I went down to nose around I wasn't seeing anything note-worthy. I decided to go to the quarantine section, and nothing was there to entertain me (like the one time the pit bull that saw me had a freaking fit and almost chewed his way out of the cage--or so it seemed--what a whack!). As I was about to leave, I checked one more area that is "off the beaten path" so to speak. Saw a goat, a rooster, a HUGE tortoise (no lie), and then...a Rottweiler. Just hanging out in her cage. She was laying in the back area. I walked up to the cage (I remember this like yesterday), and kneeled down. She didn't move but her head was up and her ears were "up" (as much as Rottie can do that). And I smiled and said, "Hey there...". She lumbered up, and immediately I noticed two things. One--she obviously had had a litter of puppies within the past 6 months or so, and two, she was pretty dang skinny.

She slowly walked up to the door, and in my customary way, offered the back of my hand. Felt that cold nose through the bars take a sample of my knuckles, and then....she sat down and leaned up against the bars of the door to her cage and looked up at me with THE SINGLE most pitiful but strangely BEAUTIFUL brown eyes (with EYE BROWS!!!!) that I had ever seen. If dogs could talk, she was saying, "Please...just be nice to me." I read her tag...her name was Dixie...age approximately 1 year, maybe 2. Brought in by family and reason for leaving the dog at the pound--"Unable to continue care for dog". WTF DID THAT MEAN?!?!? So after I had a long talk with Dixie and made sure I scratched her ears ("Both sides please, Ryan") and scratched her chest ("Ryan, I believe you are going to be owner someday if you keep THAT up!"), I got a worker and asked about the non-reason given for leaving Dixie at the pound. She said that typically when a reason is given like that it means that the people are either moving and can't take the dog, or they are having money problems and can't afford it. So I made sure it didn't mean "Has killed small babies and will rip your throat out if given half a chance". She laughed and said, "No no no...if that was the case, we'd have her in that special section over there", pointing at the ever-entertaining quarantine area. AHHHHHHHHH...so she's ok then. "Well...you risk anytime you want a dog that you're getting someone else's dog, so you don't know what you're getting personality wise." And with that, broom in hand to go do her crap-cleanup-detail, she left. I went back to the cage, and there was Dixie, still sitting at the door, looking at me. Big. Brown. Eyes. Must not look. MUST NOT LOOK. Big. Brown. Eyes. DAMN. So, defying any semblance of normality, I actually leaned down and looked right at her, and I said, "Look, I'm going to go home, but I'll be back tomorrow to come say hi again. OK?" And I left.

And then I came back the next day.

And then the next day after that.

The fourth day, I broke the news to The Warden. "Honey, get your shoes on--no need walking around pregnant and barefoot making my dinner--let's go out." OUT??? WOW!!! The Warden got all excited. WE'RE GOING OUT. "Where we goin' baby?!?!?" A surprise...

...which really didn't go over too well when I pulled into the Orange County Animal Control parking lot. "They have a restaurant here?" Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah...so I had to explain my surprise. I got the patented Warden response--13 years of this--there's an art to it...but her response...

"Turner...what did you do???" How many times have I heard THAT?!?!?

So I take her to the cage where Dixie lived. She perked RIGHT up. VERY happy to see me, but not like hyper-hump your leg-slobber happy. Her personality was very clear to me. She WAS happy...but reserved if you will. Definitely happier than when I first saw her 4 days ago. And she knew me for sure. She demanded I give her a nice chest scratch. I complied. She's a Rottie. What do you want??? The Warden will never admit this, but there was an immediate affection present between these two "ladies". And then...the impossible happened...she actually said, "Well...you want to get her?"

And the rest as they say...is history. We brought her home to our quaint little condo, which was right across the street from the massive Tri-City Park. Let her smell around, get used to everything. And then...after sufficient sniffing, I believe The Warden and I received what can only be called a "Sign of Approval". Dixie lauched herself into the air, did a half twist, landed on her back, and started doing the "Dixie Dance" as we later coined it. She was rubbing back and forth on her back and making that little "ruhhhhhhhhrrrr" sound. And I swear...call me nuts...but she was SMILING. We were off to a great start.

What followed was two moves, and our first baby, Sarah. Dixie was with us the entire time. She would have been in the dang delivery room had she had her way. Dixie and Nyleen established a really solid relationship because I believe that Dixie knew, or figured it out, that when I was away at the Fire Department, she was The Protector. And Nyleen would tell me stories about how she was literally protected by this moose of a dog. And boy did Dixie love Sarah. I have a video of her hanging out with Sarah in our garage of a house we had in Placentia. Sarah was in a bouncy seat deal, just banging away, making all kinds of noise (she's a Turner--rock on sister!!). Dixie was either laying right next to the bouncy seat completely oblivious to the racket, or she'd stand up and walk around and sometimes stick her nose right in front of Sarah's face and out would come the tongue....SLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLURP!!! We didn't actually like that but Dixie had to sneak a few in. Of course, Nyleen would run off to get disinfectant and bleach and surgical gowns thinking that Sarah was going to surely contract some "Rottweiler disease". LOL!!!

Women.

Well...I guess I have to get to the point of this tribute.

We had our second kid, Michael Ryan, and our small house (another one--we had downsized from 2400 sq ft and a backyard to 1300 sq ft and NO YARD). The Warden now was overwhelmed with kids and dog. There was only one thing to do. And off Dixie went to go live with my brother and my dad up in Pasadena at the family estate (LOL!). There she'd have a backyard, two guys that would love her to death, and a safe house. I wasn't happy, but I had vistitation rights...hahahaha...so, it was the smartest thing. I'm grateful my dad and brother stepped up to help out. Very cool.

Yesterday, I was swimming in the pool in our complex with my daughter. My wife and boy were at home. My cell phone started to ring, but I missed the call by the time I had swam over to get the phone. Something about making sure I was keeping an eye on my 6 year old sort of slowed me down. About 2 minutes later, my phone rang again. It was a fellow supervisor from work. I picked up--it was my buddy Chris Funk. "Hey dude, you need to call your brother asap." Thinking the worst of course, I just blurted out, "Oh crap--what's wrong?" And Chris didn't soften the blow any, and he didn't have to. I don't think Chris knew about the set up I had with my brother and Dixie. "He said he had to put his dog to sleep." My stomach sank. I said thanks and called my bro. And the story came out...

Apparently a few days ago, Dixie started really limping badly, favoring her rear left leg. We knew she had some hip dysplasia issues...but this was different. Yesterday, he said she was crying and not putting ANY weight on the leg. He rushed her to the Animal Hospital. Tests, xrays, exam...diagnosis was bad. Big tumor on the leg--bone cancer. Adding everything up--age of the dog, she was miserable, etc--it was time to say goodbye and put her down. I asked my brother if he was with her and petted her and was by her. And he said he was. So that was comforting. I guess the process of putting a dog to sleep is relatively "easy", and Rob described to me that she just laid her head down and closed her eyes. And then that was it.

Not to sound bitter but I wish I could have come up. Dixie really like McDonald's french fries. Maybe she would have liked to have a last little bite. And I could have looked into those big brown beautiful eyes (WITH EYE BROWS!!) and told her how much fun I had with her, and how much she meant to me. Like I said earlier, I've had dogs all my life, but Dixie was really pretty dang special. Probably because she was truly MINE--and not something my parents got.

Thought I'd post a pic from a few years back that probably best shows what a happy dog looks like. I know some people can't relate to it--and that's fine. Dogs are just animals. I get it. But if you're one of those that think that dogs maybe are a step higher than "just animals", take a look at this pic, and tell me what you see. I know what I see. I see a goofball dog, and I see a smile on her face...and I see those eye brows...and those big brown beautiful eyes that were once really sad...but look incredibly happy as she pretended that really, it WAS OK to be 100 pounds AND a lap dog.

I'll miss you Dixie. A whole bunch. Stupid dogs...they're not supposed to make grown men's eyes leak.

Dixie Turner

1997-2007

WOW...another person checked in...

2007-06-21T09:29:00.000-07:00

MAN! I swear. It's crazy stuff down here. I sort of forgot to put in the last post from yesterday that yet ANOTHER person from my past has said hello. Greg Weist, who I first met in 7th grade, is alive and well in the SF Valley. I last saw him many years ago at a Christmas party at his house that was--well--THAT particular night was not a good night for a couple of reasons but I'll move on and not relive it. But anyway--it was cool to hear from "The Big Ox". We used that term to describe him because he was a BIG BOY when we first met him. I think he was already 6 feet tall in 7th grade. I remember DISTINCTLY the first day I ever saw him--a transplant from Arizona--and sat behind me in Mrs. Honzay's English class. I remember turning around in my seat and looking at him, and he gave me a dirty look and pushed up his glasses on his nose and sort of scowled at his desk. I swear I can see it in my head like it was yesterday. Anyway--Greg and I fast became best friends and had many adventures together in junior high and high school, our lives centered around I think three incredibly important things--FOOD, GIRLS, and MUSIC. Make that four. Add on Maynard Ferguson. We were freaks about Maynard Ferguson. Don't know who Maynard Ferguson is? Oh...well...go to www.maynardferguson.com to learn more. BIG inspiration in my life. Right up there with William Shatner!! :-) Geez...now that I'm sitting here thinking about it--Greg and I did a TON of stuff together when we were kids. Obviously band and orchestra gigs, but we toured to Mexico twice with the Boys' Club Youth Band, once to La Paz and the other time to Mazatlan, I had my first beer with Greg in the back of the bus in downtown La Paz (Tecate Beer--it tasted like SWILL), we learned how to drive "illegally" on West Drive by the Rose Bowl with a mutual friend who should have known better, we almost got mugged one summer night but were "saved" by a car load of guys that went way out of their way to turn around and come back and sit with us until the "threat" passed us..........man....I'm regugitating things I haven't thought of in a long long time. I better stop. I may say something I'll regret. HAHAHAHA!!! Some things better left unsaid--ohhhhhhhh yeah. ANYWAY...

Great to hear from him.

AND...I just got some intel that a former GREAT friend of mine, Tom Corbin, THE LOUDEST TUBA PLAYER I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY FREAKIN' LIFE, is on my radar. Need to track that boy down. He used to come pick me up every morning to go to school in our senior year--him in his old beat up I think it was a Duster but I can't remember, and he always had some weird chick in the car that carpooled as well. Didn't say much. I think she was Goth--about 20 years prior to Goth being popular. Nice enough. Just...unsettling. I also was in my first traffic accident with Tom--he was pulling out of my driveway and car slammed into us. That was fun. Got a mild concussion out of that particular accident.

No wonder there's so much crap wrong with me!!! :-) Anyway...TC...I'm hunting you down brother. Oh....hold the door...another memory just hit me...I better watch the term "hunting down" with TC. I believe rumor had it that after high school he actually disappeared and became a real bounty hunter. Which I believe. 'Cuz TC was sort of a bad ass in high school. NICE. But bad ass. And I remember my mom really liked him. Weird.

OK...I really need to get back to work. I have a ton to do--until next time--thanks for reading and putting up with my friends!! :-)

NOW GET OUTTA HERE!!! GIT!!!

Sometimes...you just get surprised

2007-06-20T20:47:00.000-07:00

Hey there--what's HATTENIN'? I'm just chilling here at homestead, sipping on a glass of finely aged water, sort of pinching myself, because I have heard from over the last few hours some really cool people. First, I heard from my long-time friend Lou "Just GIVE me a reason" Tartadian, a fellow trombone player from my high school and junior college days. He's also the guy that one day when cleaning out my closet at my house in Pasadena, that I realized he was in Little League with me and his mom was friends with MY mom. GET OUTTA TOWN! We knew each other, yet, strangely, we didn't. I can't even remember what team he was on--but hopefully it was the evil green MG team (Meguirre's Glass). Led by the infamous STONE BROTHERS, I knew they were bad, but proven the day I was playing first base coach for the JC's and watched one of the Stone brothers give my friend from school John Jones a deliberate sign to pitch one AT one of our batters. FUNNY WHAT YOU CAN REMEMBER, HANH!?!?! Rat bastards. ANYWAY....so it was ULTRA cool to hear from Lou. Lou was part of the gang of me, John, Jim, Lou (the core) and then others. We'd bowl, play raquetball (me in biker shorts playing racquetball...holy crap...the thought almost made ME barf), hang...LOTS of really really cool memories. Lou actually was a great friend because he listened to me whine AD NAUSEUM about my girl problems back when I was in junior college.

SPEAKING OF WHICH...I also heard after a two year silence from one of those "problems" (but I really do mean that very lovingly--time and maturity goes a long way to put the past into focus--and really, it was IIIIIIIIIII that was the problem)--Maria Cacciotti. Yeah--even got a couple of pics of her and her sister Paula who now lives in the Country of Northern Mexico--oooo, sorry, I meant, the Country of Texas. I actually like Texas a lot, but truthfully--it really is another country down there. Did some touring down there with VK--not sure I ever want to go back. BUT NO MATTER--we're not talking about Texas. Maria has a family of her own, doing well, and it was stupendous to hear from her again. Funny how life turns out. The way my life went and where I ended up--I'm pretty sure I'm where I'm supposed to be. But you know when you're young, and you think and dream. I remember distinctly having an aversion to dancing. And Maria would joke many, many moons ago that we'd end up getting married and she'd have to force me to dance at our reception. It was always good for a yuckyuck between us. Ended up marrying someone who--LIKE A FREAKIN' ECHO--said the exact same thing. AND ENDED UP FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH IT. She FORCED me, against my will, kicking and screaming, to dance to that love song from "Robin Hood", "Everything I Do...Blah Blah Blah, I Do It For Meatloaf". WHATEVER that song was. Yeah...we danced to that...and I had to freakin' dip her at the end and everyone sitting there at our reception--like 400 people rolled 800 sets of eyes at the CORNINESS of the moment. That is, until I stood up and gave my patented pissed off look, at which time we were the recepients of MASSIVE and THUNDEROUS ovations.

Yeah. Whatever Turner. But anyway--mucho coolio to hear from Maria. She had quite the impact on my life. I just wish she would have taught me how to take care of my hair better. I have probably the worst hair imaginable for our prom picture. I might as well had stuck my head in a Cuisinfrickenart blender and called it good. For the love of all that is holy...so I apologize to you Maria should you be reading this. You deserved someone with better hair.

She got him actually. His name...oh crap...I can't remember now...Glenn something. SEKINS? No no no...that's a captain for Orange County Fire. Glenn....Glennnnnnn...hmmm...I remember I hated him. Why can't I remember his name. Anyway...he had nice hair.

I really shouldn't have partied so much in college--I sort of drifted away there for a minute...

SO WHERE WAS I???

Oh yes...speaking of ovations...uhhhhhhhhh...we'll get back to that...I can't remember what the hell I wanted to say.

(insert Jeopardy music whilst I stare at my computer monitor)....

Well, if any of you want something to do, come on down to the Corps at Crest Drum and Bugle Corps show at Mt. Sac College in the fine city of Walnut, conveniently located just off the 57 freeway at Temple St. Featuring a lot of corps in competition, including TWO of which I wrote the drill for...Impulse (currently undefeated in Division III competition), and So Cal Dream, a "old people" corps. I'll of course be providing the in-between corps entertainment as the VOICE OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA. Come on down...and sit with me in the press box for a spell...and then leave because I really don't like visitors. You make me want to talk and laugh and giggle and act stupid, and then I forget that I'm actually running a show.

So about those ovations--what the HELL was I going to say? It was funny. DANG IT!!! I hate my gray cells.

OK--that's it. I'm out. I have a million things to do and about enough time to do about 10 of them, so I need to be like a baby and head out.

GET IT!?!?

Head out?? Yeah? Be like a tree and leave.

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Be like peanut butter........wait for it....AND JAM!!!

COME ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

Wait...what did Biff say...."HEY, WHY DON'T YOU BE LIKE A TREE.....AND GET OUTTA HERE?!??" LOL!! Did you know that the guy that played Biff was a drum major for his high school band and played tuba? DID YOU?!?!?! Did you also know I went to a talent scout in 1984, and he told me I looked like I could be cast in a movie by a friend of his that would be about Vietnam, and then a couple of years later, "Platoon" was released? DID YOU???? Did you know my mom got to meet one of my idols--WILLIAM SHATNER--and shake his hand, and then didn't want to tell me because she knew I'd go ballistic? DID YOU???? She told me obviously. And then? I was calm. After the policeman told me to cool it. And the fire trucks drove away. And we promised to repay the neighbors for their house that I torched. BUT I WAS CALM.

OK...I really need to go. This stream of consciousness thing is really starting to freak me out...HEY GUYS!!! Thanks for reading. It really blows me away to know who the heck keeps checking up on me.

I should be worried.

Actually...I'm sort of creeped out by it.

NOW GIT...GIT OUTTA HERE!! :-)

2007-06-18T13:43:00.000-07:00

Well, a nice surprise for us drum corps fans. These links are to the first, second and third parts of The Cadets show that was performed at what apparently is a parent's night performance. The videos speak for themselves...what a great hornline, rocking drums, decent guard...and the WORST most ANNOYING narration I have ever heard out of any outdoor performance group. Truly astounding....and poorly written in my estimation as well...and hiding behind this crappy narration is a very very talented hornline. And some pretty cool drill if I do say so myself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTdM3hUBjos - Part I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkkpiF1QYD0 - Part II
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggGcGz_XsTc - Part III

I went to lunch today to a new place called Padera Bakery (Pandera?). Whatever. It was so-so. But I went with the normal I.T. guys that I hang around with. Cool bunch of guys. Kind of an interesting cross between geekiness, anal retentiveness, and funny ass stories. So, I can sort of relate. Other than the anal retentiveness part. I'm just a slob.

But anyway, we had a new dude come eat with us today because, well, we're popular and people like to hang with us. And so all six of us are sitting at this table and it's your typical sandwich place--but brand new. They literally opened last week, so it's all nice and shiny and the employees are all perfect and "How can I help you?" and "May I serve the next guest in line?" are thrown around with abandon. So I'm sitting there at this table, munching on something called a Turkey Bacon Bravo...decent...not anything you can't get for a few bucks cheaper out of the vending machine, but whatever...and I'm listening to the ambient sounds that surround me. I can hear the nerds sitting behind me to the left yapping about "....well, we need to increase the rate at which we are able to continue with the procurement of the necessary developmental..." Oh SHUT UP. I heard the 3 yr old to my right scream at the top of her lungs "Mommy...Mommy...MOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!". But I didn't tell her to shut up because she's a kid. But I did throw a roll at the mom. And I heard old "Justin" 4 or 5 booths away, yelling into a cell phone, "It's Justin. No...Justin. Duuuuuude...it's JUSTIN. JUSTIN DUDE. Dude. JUSTIN." I'm going to kill you Justin if you say you're name again. Or maybe it was Jerrod. WTF.

So anyway...I'm sitting there, not really engaged in conversation, shoving the food with great glee into my gullet, chewing away, sort of scanning the room, randomly thinking about drill design, dispatchers, training, my car, terrorist attacks, illegal immigration...and I start hearing a voice that I recognize. And for an instant, I'm transfixed. From whence does this voice come? For whom does this voice belong? WTF IS HE SAYING?!?!? And I'm perplexed. For I have heard this voice before, and it was from my past, but I knew not how to identify the voice. It was striking a Bb Major Chord in my head, but it was slightly out of tune...if you get my metaphorical allergorical ancedotal syllogism. Yeah...me too...WTF?!?!?!

So...I scan my immediate surroundings, and find the voice to emanating from the piehole of the "new guy" that joined us for lunch. He was rattling on in some fashion or another about prospecting and gold dust and mining and permits and what not. And I'm thinking, "Dude--I have no life. You're worse. WTF does that make you?" But the VOICE. THE VOICE I SAY!! It was driving me mad. So since I had identified the owner of the voice, I then took another gigantic chunk of turkey-bacon goodness and shoved it into my mouth, began to mastigate, and closed my eyes. And that voice was still there. And then...

Like a lightning bolt, it hit me. My eyes shot open as my jaw came to a halt, unchewed bread and turkey parts lining my mouth, cheek and chin, and I realized who I was listening to...

...I was listening to Laskey, The Security Guard...at Walleyworld.

WHO!?!?!?!?

JOHN CANDY, you simpletons. JOHN CANDY, one of the great comedic geniuses of our time. JOHN CANDY, that big lovable oaf who stuck his hand between the butt cheeks of Steve Martin in "Planes, Trains and Automobiles." JOHN CANDY, who played everybody's favorite whacky "Uncle Buck". That was it. I was listening to an exact replica of John Candy's voice.

And then I opened my eyes.

And the voice was emanating from a lanky 6ft 5 computer dude. But it was WEIRD!!! REALLY WEIRD.

Speaking of weird, I'm so tired I can barely stand up. So--I'm signing off now. Drum corps is in full swing by the way. Impulse and Capital Sound, two of the three corps I wrote for, are undefeated. COOL!! So far, so good.

Til next time...

Hey there...

2007-06-09T23:57:00.000-07:00

Just checking into ye' old blog--haven't said "Hey" and "now get outta here" for quite awhile to you fine folks that check up on me . I'm hanging in there. Just busier than I ever thought possible. I've had some cool things happen over the last few weeks since last posting--and I've had some pretty crappy things happen as well. Situation you read about earlier with family members has been partially resolved. Other issues NOT resolved. Probably NEVER will be resolved. Sad.

I have lots more to write--but be that as it may, I can't now. But I am alive and I'm doing ok.

Now go. Be off with you.

Another week...another step down the rabbit hole

2007-05-20T02:00:00.000-07:00

To say I have a lot to talk about is a vast, vast understatement. And how to approach it all...chronological, alphabetical, importance...HOW? I just don't know. So...let me start by saying this. In my last post, I indicated there is a family issue that I am dealing with as I go about my everyday stuff. That situation is getting neither easier nor better, and in some ways, it's getting worse. I do my gut-level best to keep it "under control" and quiet, but it is so bad that it's starting to affect my work. Something is going to blow soon and unfortunately, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to do much to keep it from happening save somehow finding a way to "walk on water". In case you don't get that symbolism, I'll say it simpler.

Unless I can somehow pull a rabbit out of my ass, boiling point will be reached very soon. In any event, this particular family situation is "behind the scenes" and weighing on my mind quite a bit. Quite a bit. I know I'm not the only person with "problems" right now, but there's a part of me that feels because of who I am and how I come across to people, that I'm not "allowed" to have problems. I guess that's why I'm posting this. Oh yeah...I have problems. I tend to make other people laugh a lot to take the focus away from me...

Speaking of laughing. While I am having these issues, I had the opportunity to go to Ventura this past week for a two-day fire department-related conference. Some sort of...uhhh...strange things occurred...

--Found out, by accident, that one of the chiefs from my department marched in the very same drum and bugle corps that I did, albeit, about 10 years prior to me. That was VERY strange. We ended up knowing a lot of the same people, but I could tell he was not remembering a whole lot from "way back then". But it was WILD to be sitting there and sort of comparing notes with him. Reminded me of the time when I found out that our admin assistant in our command center also marched in the same corps back in the 70's. That would be the Velvet Knights. Small world. And I know there's a lot of you that read this blog that wouldn't know the significance of this if it came up and hit you over the head. Just trust me. It was a pretty cool moment for me.

--Because of my personal issues, I was more in "rare form" in Ventura than I have been in a long time (guess it helps me deal). It actually reminded me of the time about 5 or 6 years ago that I went to Vandenburg AFB with my friend Jon Dumitru for some fire department training. We both were invited to "hang" with the instructional staff at a dinner up in a nearby city. And uhhhh....well...let's just say, between me, Jon, and several Diet Cokes, we made quite the comedic impression. Jon and I played off of each other PERFECTLY, and damn near had people in hysterics in this restaurant. It really was very funny. Fast forward to this past week...it was me solo. In a lounge. In the large lobby of the hotel. Let's just say I didn't make friends with Kern County Fire when I did a bit on their "dispatching by banjos". Apparently the dispatchers thought I was a riot. Their chief? Not so much. And Chief Dave Pierce. I think his pancreas was bruised. By Chris Funk's NOSE. GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWD!!! But it was funny. Never saw my own chief laugh so hard. Good times hanging with Chiefs Pierce, Concepion, Wells, Robinson, McIntosh...JoSAYYYYYYYYYYY Valbuena...holy cow...Funkalicious, my own boss DJP....ahhhhh yes. It'll be a historic night... or two.

--Here's another bit of weirdness. On Thursday morning, I woke up early. Couldn't sleep. Stress does that. Anyway, instead of going for the $11 breakfast buffet in the restaurant downstairs in the hotel, I just did what I do best. I went exploring. I love driving around and just looking at stuff. Found a McDonald's. COOL. Got myself a Sausage McMuffin. And a large Diet Coke. Life was good. But then...it took a strange turn. As I returned to my parking space at the hotel to start another fun-filled and exciting examination of the California mutual aid system, I finished sucking out the last remnant of the dark brown liquid goodness that is Diet Coke. And I thought to myself, "Self, I think I shall take this cup of ice with me into the fun-filled conference so as to keep myself from actually slipping into a freakin' coma!" So...I pulled off the top of the cup, and lo and behold, what did I find? Right...what you'd expect to find at the bottom of your ice in a large cup from McDonalds. A $20 bill!!!! That's right. Imagine my amazement as I stood in the parking structure of the Crowne Plaza Resort in Ventura. Slack jawed. Staring into my cup. At first, I thought..."Oh my gosh. I'm going to die. I just drank contaminated Diet Coke swill." Then I thought, "I'm impervious to all poisons. I've been drinking the aspartame in Diet Coke for 10 years now. If I'm not dead, I won't die from any stupid poison." And then the 2nd thing I thought..."I'M RICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And the good news didn't stop there. I fished out the 20 from below it's icy demise, flattened it out, and put it in my center console for drying. Looked back into the cup--per chance I was going to find a lottery ticket. Better!!! I found 37 cents. I'm not kidding. Needless to say...I threw the cup and ice away. And thought that MAYBE I need to be aware that I MAY start spontaneously vomiting in the next 2 to 6 hours. LOL!!! :-)

That's about it for now.

Oh wait. One more thing. My wife told me that her youngest brother, 17 year old Joseph, was going to his prom tonight. And I got a little melancholy about that. I mean, I was happy he was going and all. But 13 years ago when I first met him, he was 4. And he and I really got close. Cool to see him growing up. Not cool to know while he's growing up...I'm just growing OLDER.

Dammit.

Get outta here....

Wow--this getting older crap is for the birds...

2007-05-01T08:43:00.000-07:00

It's Tuesday morning, I'm back at work after a VERY well-deserved 5 day break from the OC "EFFIN" A. I've got so much to do. Tons. Many things are lining up here at work that need to be completed--training of dispatchers on some new EMD protocols, getting the Dispatcher Academy up and running, dealing with losing on my instructors (leaving the OCFA), etc, etc. Just the "normal" stuff of helping to run this place. But found out over the weekend that one of the two people above me in a Senior Supervisor position is most likely (about 98% sure--pending a final physical check up) leaving and going to another fire agency to be their Director (a gig, might I add, that is over 100K a year, AND I'm DIRECTLY responsible for her even KNOWING about the opening because I'm the one that told her about it!!!! DO I GET A ROYALTY?!?!?!). In any event, that creates an opening for some upward mobility on my part. Her position is in charge of what is called the "GEO File" portion of dispatch. It's the main database where addresses and streets and locations are entered and used by the Computer Aided Dispatch system to "locate" callers and send the right equipment. It's relatively important as you can imagine to the overall operations. HOWEVER--that being said, this upward mobility opportunity is a little daunting to me. Of course, becoming a floor supervisor was "daunting" to me, but I seemed to, after a hiccup or forty, seemed to do ok. And then, moving over to this new position created out of thin air, the TEMD Supervisor, was "daunting" as I had NO clue what was coming. But on the other hand--I look out on the floor and see other "talent" out there and wonder...is it going to be another blood-bath competition for this senior position? I distinctly remember that it was VERY VERY difficult as for whatever reason, when I was named the new floor supervisor (5 years ago??? 4???) , I was met with some--how do I say this?--anger? Resentment? All I know is that I was really hurt inside. I didn't get mad. I was just saddened. I tried to understand where some folks were coming from, and I had a hard time understanding that, but on the other hand, I was wondering if it was all necessary.

And now--with this new opportunity, should I go for it and then get it, is it going to be the same thing again? If it is, I truthfully would just rather NOT go for it and not partake in the blood bath. I think it's rather unnecessary to have resentments and hostility like I faced. It's a promotion. You get promoted partly on skill, partly on "job fit", partly on forecasting HOW you'd be in the position (trainable, open to suggestions, etc). So...I don't know. I'm sort of babbling--but that's on my plate now. Of course, The Warden is like "HECK YEAH YOU'RE GOING FOR IT!!!!" Great.

Another thing on my plate that I sort of never wanted to talk about in my blog is that underneath my "busy-ness" and relative successes I've been having, I'm dealing with a personal family issue that is really bumming me out. It deals with my dad and my oldest brother, and I won't bore you with the details. EVERY family I assume has their issues they have to handle behind closed doors. So I'll leave it there. But this is weighing heavily on my mind, so much so, that I....GASP!!!....actually spent time talking in depth with The Warden last night about. Did you know that politics figure into family relationships sometimes??????? LOL!!!! My goodness--we made some decisions last night not so much based on what was "right", but what would be smoothest and most expedient? Does that make sense without me going on and on about the specifics? Let me just say this...

One, wherever you are in your life right now--PREPARE FOR YOUR OLD AGE. THINK NOW!! Don't speculate. Get something going NOW that's conservative, and will grow and be there for you. Think about long-term care insurance as well and get it going NOW. Second...families are diverse as anything else in life, but the common bond SHOULD be love. And some people are certainly more difficult to love than others--boy do I know that concept. But try. Just try. It's damned difficult. Especially with those that challenge you on levels that are way way deep and way hurtful. TRY anyway. I'll leave it at that.

Sorry to be sort of a downer--there's REALLY a lot for me to be happy about. I got the DCI gig, openers are complete for So Cal Dream and Impulse, Capital Sound is coming along, developing new business for the fall, OCFA outside of the above concerns is actually going well, family is finally healthy, especially after me getting sick YET AGAIN with a fever and weakness ON MY FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY...but yeah. All is well. And I even installed some shelves in our laundry room ALL BY MYSELF (for those that REALLY know me will understand the significance of this accomplishment--especially considering that plugging something in sometimes can be above me!!!).

Anyway--that's it from me--hi. Hope YOU are doing well and all that happy crap.

NOW GET OUTTA HERE!!!

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!

2007-04-24T13:47:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen...I'm freakin' as happy as I've ever been!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You can't begin to know...wait...you don't even know what the heck I'm talking about do ya?

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN--it is an OFFICIAL done deal. I have "verbally signed on the dotted line"...

I AM THE OFFICIAL DRUM CORPS INTERNATIONAL DIVISION II/III CHAMPIONSHIP ANNOUNCER!!!! Boooooooooooooooooooooooooo yah!!! Even if that means NOTHING to you, let me be the first to tell you that this is just a freakin' BLAST to get this gig. WHY!?!?!?!

BECAUSE.

That's why!!

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

There's a back story to this--where is there NOT a backstory to something in my life--but yeah. It's sort of cool. Because of the way I'm wired, it's these "strange" things I realize about certain events in my life. WHAT THE HELL TURNER???? You're babbling.

OK OK OK...let's start at the top. This past summer, I went to DCI World Championships in Madison, Wisconsin as a guest of my friend, John Donovan, publisher of Drum Corps Planet, and with the loving support of my wonderful wife. I was doing "live blogging" for Drum Corps Planet from, what I refer to as, "The Ninth Level" of the Camp Randall Stadium Pressbox. That's basically where the VIP's could sit in relative comfort and watch the show. Great vantage point.

Anyway--as the story goes--I flew in and out of O'Hare. When I was at O'Hare to leave, I ran into Tom Hope, the DCI-Pacific Coordinator. He basically runs all the west coast/western states drum corps shows, at least from the DCI side of things. I've worked with Tom several times over the years. He's a demanding, no-nonsense, "get 'er done" type person that expects a lot, and I like to work with him. Well, at O'Hare, we got to talking. He told me, and I quote (to the best of my memory), "By the way Turner, next summer, don't go anywhere." Curious, I said what most would say..."WTF?!?!?" No, I said, "Why?" He said there was a chance--and he made it clear he was NOT OFFERING ME A JOB..lol!!--but that there was a chance that there would be a need for DCI to have an announcer for the Division II/III Championships at Pasadena City College. He said for me to not make plans, especially during DCI Week. Well...duh...I'm not going to be anywhere BUT in Pasadena that week, but cool. He was opening a door for me, and I appreciated that. He said he'd get back to me...and that was that.

Fast forward to about 3 weeks ago, and the suspense was killing me. Now remember, the last time I talked to Tom was in August in Chicago. So I emailed him--typical Ryan H. flair--"Hey Tom, just letting you know that I'm camped out by my phone and I'm ready to rock and roll for DCI. Just say GO and I'm all over it." In typical Tom fashion, he types back almost instantaneously, "Name forwarded to Dan Acheson and Sue at DCI." Ahhhh. In other words Turner, PIPE DOWN. And at that point, I knew that there was literally nothing else for me to do. Besides, I have a ton of things on my plate anyway, so I put the DCI announcing possibility back on the back burner and plodded on. Today...THE CALL. A very nice sounding young lady by the name of Missy called, left a message, and I called her back a bit later, and not wanting to sound TOOOOOOOOOOOOO desperate, explained to her my extensive background in announcing. After 15 minutes of dissertation, all in one breath, she said "YOU'RE HIRED YA FREAK!!! WE'LL CALL YA LATER!!!" No she didn't....but she was laughing [at...with...] because I was VERY VERY VERY VERY enthusiastic. THE H WAS PLAYING THE GAME!! Ya know what I mean???

Good.

Well anyway...the story goes...we're chatting, and I tell her about the announcing I've done (SCSBOA, WBA, DCI-P, the old DCW, WGI, WGASC, The Voice of the Kingsmen, 911 Dispatcher, voice over for video projects, blah blah blah...I threw more acronyms at her than she's ever heard in her life). I guess she was impressed--oh wait, she was snoring. ANYWAY--she starts telling me a little about what they need, what they're going to pay for, blah blah...and she says, "So...are you available for the times we need you at Pasadena City College?" Uhhhh...yeah. There's no issue. THEN she says, "So, do you know where Pasadena is and everything?" And I say, "WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, as a matter of fact, I was born and raised in Pasadena. And you know what I just realized if you want to hear some truly useless trivia [really--I DID say that...ask her!! LOL!!!!]? The VERY first time I EVER announced...was AT PASADENA CITY COLLEGE!!! Would you look at that???"

Stunned silence.

Then the tentative, "Ohhhhh ahhh hanh...that's great. So...." IT WAS CLASSIC!!!

Oh I love it when I geek out and people go...WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY!!?!?!?

Anyway...she hired me for that AND for the Bakersfield doo hickey show the weekend before...and THEN...

In typical "this just ain't enough for Ryan H. Turner" fashion, I say, "So, I'm good to go, but I'm not going ANYWHERE this summer, so, I know that you guys are going to be busy out here with shows and what not. And I'm sure Mr. Crocker will be busy [to my non-DCI readers, "Mr. Crocker" is Brandt Crocker, THE Voice of DCI for the past MILLION years]. But if he needs a day off, let me know. I'm your go-to guy."

The chutzpah. The noive.

More stunned silence.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhkay, I'll be sending you more information shortly." CLICK.

No...actually she thanked me for my willingness to help and looked forward to meeting me [you freaking whack] and...well...THERE YOU GO!!!! I'm in like Flynn baby!!! The call I've been waiting for. BREATH TURNER!!! Now...I'm going to go through all my yearbooks I've purchased off of EBAY and practice my ASS off reading show descriptions and getting names down...because I'm not going to do just a good job for DCI.

Oh no no no no. This represents to me a MAJOR door opening. HENCE, I will do a SUPREMELY PERFECT job for DCI.

So...share in my happiness...it doesn't come often, this kind of elation of reaching a major goal like this. And really...when you step back and look at EVERYTHING that you COULD be freakin' overjoyed about...this is really small potatoes. But for ME...it's the BOMB. I'm on Cloud 9.

NOW...to go put in my vacation time.

Oh....there'll be more updates coming shortly. Lots of OTHER news, including The Tale of The Laser Printer (and How The ATM Network Failure Almost Killed Me The Other Day), the SONGS drill experience (what?????), the WGASC experience, friends, my kids and my daughter's teeth....ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND....

MORE PICS!!! Because this blog ain't CRAP without pics. I just figured out how to get the pics from my digital camera to my computer. Oh yeah. Time for kid pics and sorts of fun things.

Thanks...

Now get OUTTA here.

I blame Lee Rudnicki for all of this...

2007-04-03T09:26:00.000-07:00

I think the human body and mind can be pushed to extreme limits, especially the mind. I think we are WAY untapped in that department. THAT being said...I'm at that limit. Thank you. I'd like to get off the ride now. I've had fun. Thank you. Hello?? Anyone?? Can we stop this ride now? I just want to take a breather for 5.

Anyway...the reason I type this was because I came to work, and opened my email, and there was an email that is a GIGANTIC door opening for me in the world of the marching arts. Really and truly it is. Until I can get a formal deal on this and everything is kosher, I won't say for now what it is. But I'm HUMBLED AS HELL to be given the opportunity, and now, I'm putting my skills WAY OUT THERE FOR SCRUTINY. Time to put up...or shut the hell up. And how, pray tell, did I get into this situation?

Because...this opportunity I'm talking about falls right into the plans I formulated about 8 years ago--basic as they were--to build bigger the Empire of the H. MANY things have occurred over the last 7 years that I directly attribute to this goal. It really started as a plan to get my name out there NATIONALLY as both a drill designer AND a quality adjudicator. The dividends of setting a goal like that--stupid as it may seem to some of my non-marching arts-related readers--is actually a testimony to the strength of "focus" and goal-setting. I'll be honest. The timid, doubtful part of me is ALWAYS there trying to trip me up saying I'm not qualified, that I'm not good enough, that I can't nor will I EVER be as good as this and that or so and so. But part of this journey we go through in life is learning how to peservere. And I think I am doing just that, and sometimes, the payoffs are unbelievable. It seems like this past year and a half has been EXCEPTIONALLY telling in what's happened. And of course, my LOVE in life surrounds my participation in the activity of marching arts and pageantry...that's not to say I'm not grateful nor am I unhappy at the Fire Department, which is my career. But this career in the Fire Department fills the need for a stable and secure income, benefits, and protection for my family. I don't necessarily love it. As for the pageantry world, it fills the need for me to have a creative outlet and to give back to something that I think helped mold me into the person I am now.

SORRY...PREACHY ALERT...SORRY...didn't mean to get preachy.

But one more thing. You see--I only started a blog because my friend Lee Rudnicki had a great one going (still does--duh!!) and because a couple of people at work sort of pushed me to. But there are two people that come to mind when I start feeling sorry for myself that I am overworked or too tired to go on...my father in law, who is the hardest working man on the planet, and Lee, who by his example to me, showed what setting a goal and laser sighting on it was all about. Completely independent of me and in a totally different arena of life, he did what I did. He was just better and faster at it because he was clearer about what he wanted than I was. Still is for that matter. But when I read his blog I marvel at how he can juggle what he juggles, and since he has one of his many arms of influence in MY world of marching and pageantry, than HIS example becomes even more meaningful to me. And I know he probably hates this because I'm talking about him and I always seem to talk about him. But I have always been a person that--good, bad or indifferent--holds up those I respect and don't mind talking about it one bit. At least people know where I get my inspiration from at times.

OK...so anyway...sorry about all this deep stuff, but this email to me--and maybe I'm the only one it will mean this to--was just awesome. And I hope it comes to fruition. And I hope I can rise to the challenge. More to come...

NOW GET OUTTA HERE!!!

DANG IT!!!!!!!!!!

2007-04-01T15:14:00.001-07:00

Sick again!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF, OVER?!?!?!?!?

2007-03-30T11:48:00.000-07:00

HI...JUST CHECKING IN....sorry, I was yelling...just checking in real quick because I have a couple of things I absolutely have to get off my chest.

For those that are curious, the dotted line has been signed and I'm in. I'm back at Rancho Buena Vista. This is a long-time coming. I missed working with that group. The three years I was there we really turned the program around. We actually were quite good, winning the prestigious Savanna Tournament in my second year there and lighting the crowd on fire with our Kansas show. It was definitely a high point of my design career. So it's good to be back. And we were thinking of going one direction--but now...we're going a whole new direction, and I'm VERY excited. This is a band not afraid to take a few chances, to march challenging drill, and play challenging music (AND LOUD!!). Anyway...more to come on that. I'm pumped.
Confirmed another large school just this morning. They missed 5A championships by a .10th of a point. We'll work on that. I'm also very excited about this opportunity because the guard guy there is a current member of the Cavaliers (Homer Lopez) and I've had a couple of nice talks with him. He seems VERY down to earth, knowledgeable, and not a "diva", which is nice to work with. I'm looking forward to this.
Had a Strategic Management Meeting with Impulse last night, and our special guest was Pat Siedling, who I've heard so much about over my years in the drum corps world but never have met. He showed up with his wife last night and preceded to give us a 3-hour tutorial on how to get into Division I, and I just have to say this. I literally could have sat there for 3 more hours and listened to him. Sometimes in this activity, there are people that you would rather not listen to give you the time much less pontificate about how to take a corps to the next level. Pat was in a word--AMAZING. He was encouraging, brutally honest, optimistic, down to earth, and full of incredible knowledge. I was literally blown away last night. His experience and his willingness to be "behind the scenes" with Impulse is ABSOLUTELY the best thing that can happen to this organization. I'm very energized. The 6 Sure Signs of Success...and the 4 Legs of Stability. DUDE!!! In the words of Lee Rudnicki...GENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIUS!!!
Got close to signing on a HUGE talent for our guard situation with Impulse--that situation is still developing, but if we can get this guy plus some other talent, we could start to build up the fledgling guard situation and get some PROFESSIONALS that care about the kids into key positions. I believe in to a certain extent that things that are meant to be WILL be. We'll see how this plays out.

And lastly--my experience at the gym. As some of you know I've been very ill for about 15 days, and it totally knocked me out of going to the gym and trying to work on my stellar physique (yeah Turner...whatever). Anyway...I AM happy to say that I have been conscious and careful (carefuller?) of how I've been eating, so I'm maintaining the weight loss from the previous month's body bombardment and 24hr Fitness. THAT is encouraging. I played basketball with some of my youth at my church on Wednesday, which was with the exception of a three mile walk I took on Monday at work, the only exercise since being down and out with whatever the hell kicked me in the butt. Playing basketball. A pudgy white boy out there running around with a bunch of kids. THAT in and of itself should be the most hilarious thing you've ever seen. But it was a good work out.

So--this morning, up I get, take Sarah to school and off to the gym I go. Read on--because I have a major rant about ready to spew forth.

I have noticed (and I'm going to be very sexist here--so just deal or don't read) that not sometimes, not most times, but EVERY SINGLE DANG TIME I go to the gym, inevitably, there are going to be 2 or more women just yapping and talking and blabbing while they work out. What's wrong with this? Nothing in and of itself. You're obviously free to talk. BUT AT A GYM!!!???? Puhleeeeeeeeeeeeze. There's really nothing more grating on my nerves than middle aged women PRETENDING to work out, coked out of their gords having had a triple expresso latte cappucino with a side a block of caffeine before coming to the gym, discussing such interesting topics like A)What's wrong with my husband, or B)What's wrong with going to the mall and spending lots of money on stupid worthless things that don't matter anyway, and what's wrong with my husband and how come he doesn't get why I have to go there and do this, or C)What's wrong with the schools? or D)What's wrong with my ass?? I can't get it any smaller...I just don't get it?? And on...and on...and on...

Just today...on my first time back to the gym since being out, I get on a Precor Elliptical and start going. I'm literally off by myself, not bugging a SOUL. On the end of a row. And I like to concentrate and make sure I'm setting little mini-goals as I go and what not...it's a mind game for me. Two women show up and take the next two machines next to me. And they started. I like to do 60 mins on a machine, because then I know I'm really burning calories. Well, these two show up 10 mins into my workout, and procede to compare notes about their kids. My ear is naturally drawn to them because A) they're next to me, B) they're freakin' loud!, and C) they both have that southern California nasally coked out on Starbucks super fast high pitched oscillating sing song voice that makes me want to go get weaponry and...and...well...I better be careful now. I don't want to scare anyone! :-)

But SERIOUSLY!!! I mean...it was just NON-STOP!!! They NEVER EVER EVER EVER stopped talking. But was worse was that they tried to up one another, and they talked...get this...freakin' women...they TALKED AT THE SAME TIME. There was SUCH a need to get their point across that simple give and take and listening was just out the door. And how many times did I hear "Well, MY daughter is..." Uggggggggggh. But it got worse. YES. This was just the beginning. Because after 30 mins of pretending to work out and this back and forth yapping about NOTHING, they both stop "working out" (and I use the term lightly), and stood on the ellipticals...

....(gulp!)...and KEPT FREAKIN' TALKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!!

I sooooooooo wanted to yell that. Really. I just wanted to hear the sounds of the gym, concentrate on my numbers, my pulse, my breathing exercises...but I had Chatty Cathy on Crack next to me. I'm SINCERELY going to invest in a IPOD. I hear those things are cool.

'Til next time...and now...GET OUTTA HERE!!!

This world...she's a spinin' fast...

2007-03-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

Let me give you some brief highlights...

Much healthier, mostly due to large does of illegally obtained Cipro because I was too damn lazy to go to the doctor. Sue me! I used some Cipro that my wife couldn't take because it made her feel like her head was a nuclear reactor on meltdown. I am in the throws however of the beginning of my annual sneeze fest. So Clartatin and me will start our affair soon.
I've had reason to talk to separate people over the last week about the same damn regret I've had for many many years, and I'll probably go to my grave with the regret. I know we're not supposed to have any. But I can't get this out of mind. I regret not doing what I needed to do to get my degree and become a band director. I've seen many band director friends of mine--Tim Bryan, Phil R. Mortensen, Larry White to name just a few--successfully move up into admin positions. And I think I cheated myself out of a rewarding career in education because in my tender 20's, I was convinced that band directing was "dead end" in terms of career. What was I? A complete buffoon back then??? When one has a regret, one shouldn't assume that the regret has a twin regret of what is CURRENTLY going on in one's life. No no no...that's not the case with me. I actually have it pretty good. I'm not trying to say I'm NOT grateful for the path my life went and where I am today. But I can't get the thought out of my mind. And I kick myself when I think back to the time a certain band director had a very long heart-to-heart with me and GREATLY encouraged me to get up to Azusa Pacific College and finish my degree because big changes were coming to his district. And I didn't listen. Dang. STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPID. About as dumb as me selling my 1970 Dodge Challenger back in 1988.
Had an Excel class at OCFA, taught by an instructor from New Horizons, the same company I worked with back in 1992 and 1993. And based on what he told me, their business model still sucks. How they stay in business and how people STILL get sucked into working for that crappy company is BEYOND ME. No...I'm not a big fan of New Horizons. Anyway...found out some things that Excel does that may or may not help me in my job at OCFA. Cool stuff though. That program is pretty dang impressive.
Forgot to ask if it was OK to announce to the world who I am writing drill for that I sort of hinted at in my last entry. All I know is that they do feel the rhythm down there at the ranch, and they are happy to have me back. I'm happy to be back. Now can we pick a freakin' show?!?!?!?!?
Called my old stand by Greg Flores yesterday from work to tap into his creative genius and see if he wants to join the team with this previously aforementioned band. He's game. Greg was the magic behind the hornline and brass book for VK from 1991-1996, and I hired him on and he took over for me after my 6 year run with Fountain Valley came to a crashing and dramatic (and sad) end. He knows how to make a hornline play and can write great music. He's been writing for Long Beach State's "Basketball Band" which is basically like "Tower of Power", as well as teaching and gigging and judging. Matter of fact, I hired him at the last minute to judge music when I was asked to be the Chief Judge for the Pacific Northwest Marching Band Championships at the 11th hour--and I pulled together an all-star judging crew from southern California and TORE UP WASHINGTON STATE!!! That was fun. Those northwesterners didn't know what hit them...Dan and Ron Zeilinger, Robert Whitaker, Greg Flores, Paul Locke, Dale Leaman, ME...holy cow!!! It was VERY fun!! i'll never forget that weekend.\

Anyway friends...I have some political/world views I want to spew out but I can't right now. Suffice it to say...things are soooooooooooooo nuts right now. If you don't spend time looking at the news...you'd be amazed at what's happening.

Hijinks and Tiddlywinks--WTF?!?!?!

2007-03-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

Dudes and dudettes...welcome back to my blog, long forgotten but not totally dissed. I'm on a drug that I am convinced has caused me to regress to the days before I actually knew how to type. Yes...I do know how to type for I took a typing a class in 9th grade at the behest...request...the command of my dearly departed mother, who in her infinite wisdom back in 1980, was able to tell that the ways of the future would demand that I at least know how the hell to type. Little did she know (or did I know in my freshman wisdom) that one day in fact, typing would be CENTRAL to my life. So...thanks mom. And sorry about the drugs. Wait. I mean, sorry about my typing. Or lack thereof. I'm sick!!! That's the ticket!!! I'm sick. I got sick on Sunday morning, the morning of a large vegetation fire that roared through the eastern part of Anaslime Hills. I rolled out of bed and came into work on Monday, and actually went to the fire, only to suck in a bunch of smoke and crap which didn't help me much. Had a really bad cough, laryngitis...the typical. But I was REALLY run down. Then, when I thought I was getting better, I go to Pasadena for a training class, and could barely make it through the first day. Fever of 102, body feeling like it was hit by a truck...really bad shape. I decided to leave early and forego the certificate saying that I was smarter than when I went in...and here I am. I stole some Cipro antibiotics from my dear bride, and apparently it's working. Fever is gone, body aches are all but gone for the most part, but the cough is still there. Also had a very weird throat thing going on. It wasn't strep. I know strep. It was different. It would be like someone just out of the blue would grab my windpipe--and I'd all of a sudden have a need to cough or actually choke. VERY strange. I also had a "croup" cough on Tuesday morning....CROUP!! I'm freakin' 40 years old!!! But it was the same painful dry nasty cough I used to get when I was a little kid. I still remember those days. And this was the exact same thing. VERY STRANGE. But what's worse--I've been sick for a LONG TIME. When I get sick, usually 3 to 4 days and the worst is over. This has just been lingering. Probably the government spraying crap on us...or the aliens. Or both.

Anyway...word got to me that somehow this blog has been viewed by more members of the OC"EFFIN"A. Great. As if my reputation as a Monster-drinking, Rockstar-snorting, rebel rousing loud mouth at the OC"EFFIN"A isn't enough. Well--I would like to say hello to my fellow OC"EFFIN"A-ites that read this. And I would like impart...empart...import...give you some knowledge and a helpful hint. With all the warts and issues we may have to contend with during our day-to-day schlepping we go through here to get our job done, I DO have to say without a doubt that, warts and all, I still believe the OCFA is a great place to work. There are SO many ways that the OC"EFFIN"A can be better, but IN COMPARISON, we do many things right. And I'm no company man. I'd just as soon rail on what's wrong. But sometimes, getting out of my hole/cage and looking around a little at what else is out there, I have to be honest with myself and simply be grateful for what I DO have. That's not a license to settle for less. But it IS a license to not feel sorry for oneself. Does that make sense? In the dispatch world, I may not know everything there is to know, but I know enough. And I'm glad that I am where I am. Hopefully, no matter where YOU work in the OC"EFFIN"A you can feel the same way. Be grateful, strive to be the best, don't kill yourself if you're not, and don't settle for less from the powers that be.

OK...let me take my cheerleading skirt off here. Just a second.

OK...I'm back. Several topics to touch on....

Announcing for the WGASC every weekend. Been going well, except last weekend, when I could barely talk on the mic. Thank goodness for 200 watt amplifiers. The winter guard activity is VERY strong in southern California, and for those readers that think winter guard is something you buy for your car, go to www.wgasc.org and read up a little on what I refer to. If you're REALLY adventurous, go to www.wgi.org and you can see actually video clips of what it is that I announce for.
This probably isn't for public consumption yet, but I'm gonna go ahead and at least announce it PARTIALLY. It was just confirmed over the phone with the director that I am now officially on staff for this fall for a major marching band as the show designer. VERY cool. Just an off-chance that I asked about the position, and that opened a door I didn't realize even had a doorknob on it, if you get my drift. Apparently the door FLEW open and well...here I am. Official announcement coming soon just as soon as the dotted line is signed and I'm free to say who and where.
I'm confirmed now for 7 bands in the fall, and I'm good with that. I had 11 last season, and made the money I needed to get myself for the most part of debt. The CFO of the Turner Empire has now decreed that I no longer need to hustle for writing gigs, that we in fact can live off of less. Gee....thanks honey.
Openers have been written for So Cal Dream (www.socaldream.org) and Capital Sound (www.capitalsound.org) and response has been the most positive I've received for first drafts. Either means I'm getting better at this, or, people just don't want to argue with me anymore. It's cool to be writing for these groups, especially Cap Sound. First time to write for a corps out of state. I can only imagine doors opening because of this particular client.
Impulse (www.iyao.org) is up next. Music received and scores are ready--now have to meet with folks and get them a show written.
Heard a unverifiable yet VERY reliable "rumor" that things are a-changing in the SCSBOA for the field show side of things, and the "what" is interesting. I think SCSBOA is realizing to some extent that there has to be some more controls over the QUALITY of what they provide for their members. And if what I heard is true, they are addressing these issues. I'm not sure everyone will be rip-roaring for it, but hey, you have to keep in mind, molasses usually outpaces SCSBOA, so for changes to happen at all...I'm ALL for it. You see, I used to be very critical of SCSBOA. But they've done some things over the last several years that have been great, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, I've realized what SCSBOA IS. Plus I'm older. And wiser. And less prone to speak before I think.
Speaking of thinking before I speak, apparently I didn't when I responded on YOUTUBE to a stupid comment made by a person claiming to be a student of a band whose video was on the website. I called the "kid" an idiot for making that comment, and said I would have kicked his/her ass out of band so fast his/her head would spin. Apparently, someone thought shoving a bass drum mallet down my throat would be a way to solve me (big bad adult) saying something harsh to poor little student. Grrrrrrrrrrr...whatever.
I'm still sick. Just not AS sick. So shut it, Jon!
Speaking of Jon...http://jdaroundorange.blogspot.com/ He's one of my long-time friends and has a nice site. He's a dispatcher...and a politician of epic proportions. Today...city council. Tomorrow...state assembly. Soon after that...SENATOR?!?!?! Good GOD all Friday.

OK...I could think of more but the drugs are making me light-headed and ferclempt. So...I need to go. Besides, I have WORK to do. Thanks for reading.

NOW GET OUTTA HERE!!!!

It's supposed to MELT away...that's what they said!!!

2007-02-14T12:22:00.000-08:00

One of the BIGGEST disappointments of losing weight and working out and trying to be at least SEMI-conscious of what you're eating is to get on the scale and look down, and you're NOT going anywhere. It really sucks. It's disheartening. It can really tear into your ability to maintain that motivation that gets your fat ass up at 0430hrs and on the road to torture and pain--all self-inflicted--for about an hour every morning. I did this bad thing--getting on the scale--last week. And I felt that old feeling come rushing back, where I wanted to go find the nearest gallon of Dreyer's Cookies and Cream and make shake after shake after shake and sit on the couch and watch TV. But THIS time...somewhere...somehow...I said, at least in my mind, "NOOOOOOO!!! I am NOT going to do this crap!!!!" And here I am...a week later...and I'm happy to report not one but two amazing things.

#1. I try to "report" to Nyleen how good it is to be working out again, because I want to make sure she supports me. In regards to working out, she's been very supportive as long as I'm not killing myself or hurting myself which I tend to do because I can get enthusiastic to the point of stupidity. In any event, last night, as I was unloading groceries I was telling her about my workout yesterday, and joked about the fact that it was a MAN that noticed me losing weight first. It would have been nice if it was a chick--and she laughed, and then said, "Well, I actually do notice it myself. I can actually see your cheek bones on your face." I actually looked at my wife there for a minute and felt pretty dang proud of myself and was feeling those warm fuzzies you feel...then...after a slight pause, she looked down at my belly and said, "But it would be nice if you'd start losing it there, fat boy!!!" DANG!!!!!!!!! Got me again!!! Nice one. We shared a good laugh...sort of. I didn't let her see me cry. LOL!

#2. Second amazing thing is a two-for-one amazing thing. On Sunday, I wore a new shirt and tie to church. That's not amazing...what IS amazing, is that I wore a pair of 42 black slacks that I haven't put on for, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...about 4 years. And no...these weren't those cheater pants that have that elastic deal where you can be a tub'o lard and say "But I wear 36 inch pants"....yeah...because they expand to like 96 inches. Now--I'm not saying I'm all svelte, because I'm not. But to actually close the clasp on the 42's was reassuring. The fact that they came up over my rump was even more amazing.

Had good advice given to me today by a fellow supervisor. She said don't look at the scale--just judge what you can wear. And you know--truth be told, I have these heavy duty wooden hangers, the kind you can put suits on. Well, I have all my "Docker" and slack type pants on those...but I have one hanger for 44's. One for 42's. And then one for 40's. And one for 38's. SWEAR. I know...it's wacky. But I just torture myself a little by saying "Look how far you've come, fart knocker." Sort of bagging on myself whilst motivating myself at the same time. But yeah...my goal...humble as it may be...to get into those 40's. I only kept one pair of 38's. Don't know if I will ever be able to put THOSE on.

But then again...Hell MAY indeed freeze over.

My little emotional attachment to food that I've grown to understand about myself over the last year or so...I know where it comes from. So I'll leave you with a teaser to get you to come back to this stupid blog...you get to know what drives Ryan and food.

Other than the fact I call myself a musician. And you know how THEY are about food.

TEAMWORK!!!

2007-02-09T13:16:00.000-08:00

LOL!!! That's me in the center...of course...because I AM the center of all creation. The guy to your right...he's my boss. The guy to your left. Some computer guru hack. We three have been known to create havoc in and around the OCFA. Just wanted to show you what you can do with Photoshop and half a brain.

Speaking of half a brain...

HI SCOTT!!!

SUCCESS!!!!!!

2007-02-07T15:04:00.000-08:00

I've got some GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT news...and some not so great news

The great news....someone noticed today for the first time in 3 weeks since I started my "working out" and trying to eat better that I seemed a bit slimmer. WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!! That was awesome. And to be honest...my belts are having to be cinched up a bit more...

YEP!!! That makes all the sweating worth it....

Now...the bad news.

It was a dude that told me.

<>

Well...I mean...it was nice and all.

But still.

Couldn't you have been, say, the Intern in HR that I adore?!?! LOL!!! Or that cute waitress at Casa Camino?? Or...I'm really stretching...even my wife? Hahahaha...WELL????

Whatever. Thanks BOB!

A glimpse into my past...

2007-02-06T20:11:00.000-08:00

My goodness...where do I start. Well...first off. HELLO!! Been awhile. It's been a crazy 2 weeks...but what fun. I had the chance to put my self-titled self to work as "The Voice of Southern California" and announce for the Kingsmen Alumni Corps at the NAMM Show a few weeks ago. This was a bigger deal than I thought it was going to be. I haven't been to the NAMM Show ever, but man oh man. It's HUGE. They basically take over the Convention Center and all the hotels down in the Anaheim Harbor Blvd South of Disney Kingdom. ANYWAY...the KAC performed to an incoming crowd of what I estimated to be about 500-700 people. WILD applause. WILD enthusiasm. It was cool. And then had a nice sound system set up for me which was good...because I thought I'd have to yell into a stupid Long Ranger. They actually had a real honest to goodness sound system. Got to "coordinate" things with my old trombone teacher/former hornline instructor Dr. Greg Woll. Always very cool to be in his presence--he had a big impact on my life but doubt he really understands that. Oh well...but nevertheless...FUN STUFF. Why...here's a pic of the yours truly doing what I do best apparently--babbling on a microphone...
Cool...

Now on to some more important issues.

I know a lot of people read this blog that may not understand this next part very well, but let me fill you in on the drama. I was involved with a nationally known and competitve drum and bugle corps out of Anaheim, California back in 1985, 1986, and 1987. They were called the Velvet Knights--a strange name but an organization with a vary unique and storied history. If I could provide a link to that history I would, but for now, just take my word for it. In any event, the Velvet Knights were regarded within the world of drum corps (which for all intents and purposes is just a sand pepple-sized activity compared to the rest of normal life) as one of THE most popular and entertaining and at times, FUNNY, drum and bugle corps out there. As you may guess, the activity of drum and bugle corps (or as we call it "in the biz", drum corps) has a military heritage and style, as most corps have that to some extent. We were the anti-thesis to that, at least in our style. We worked our asses off to perfect our shows and to be the best we could be and to learn about what it was to make goals and all that...in any event...VK (as we called ourselves and as the world of drum corps referred to us) was the "IT" corps. We were hip. We had people laughing, dancing, asking for our autographs after competitions (I swear...I'm not making that up)...it was life on the road of a 128-member rock band. Sort of.

ANYWAY...this organization, based out of a dingy, beat up, run down, nasty-ass bingo hall at the intersection of Knott and Ball, was sort of central to the life of Ryan H. Turner. I think a lot of my identity as a human being was sort of formed and molded during my three years as a performer with them. I certainly look back to some milestone moments in my life and some of them were during my tenure with VK. There is a very real and tangible connection between my success with VK and my deep multi-tiered involvement with the pageantry world of southern California (which I take actually sort of seriously believe it or not). In other words, I owe a lot to my time in VK. And I know I'm not alone. There are many of us in the world that can look back to our time in VK and drum corps in general and chart some real benefits that we enjoy today as adults. It's not that unusual. And others can point back to their experiences in the Boys Scouts, or their Little League team, or at their church group...whatever. But the drum corps experience...a very unique thing. It engenders a bond between people that can exist for decades. I know it does for me personally. I'm still very close friends and work with the guy that was in the duet with me in 1985 during VK's closer, "Catchin' the Sun". So--yes...a deeply bonding activity this thing drum corps is.

ANYWAY...I do have a point. The point is this organization, through many missteps and bad decisions, completely "folded" and ceased operations after the 1996 tour (which typically ends in mid August). The corps, both financially AND creatively, was at the end of the line. There was a glimmer of hope as there was some GREAT show programming ideas being bantered around by the then-newly hired David Weinberg, who was going to be the Program Coordinator and Drill Designer (another person who in my life, is CENTRAL to where I am now--which is really nowhere in the grand scheme of things, but still...I remember my roots better than most). VK folded, and it was a dark day in my book. Not only did I get the story as to why they folded, I was convinced that the WHY was completely avoidable. COMPLETELY.

ANYWAY...in 1999, that guy I referenced earlier that I'm still good friends with? His name is Ron Zeilinger, and he started, along with a small group of former VK alumni, a new drum corps called Impulse. When I first heard about this concept, of somehow continuing the "tradition" of the Velvet Knights, I was admantly against it. VK was DEAD...why try to call it something else and put a new name to it. I was confused. Angry. Dead set against it. And I had forum to voice my opinion. It was a discussion newsgroup called Recreation Arts--Drum Corps (RAMD), part of the old newsgroups that I'm quite honestly not even sure still exists. I also had this other forum called World of Pageantry. And I was, believe it or not, pretty anti-Impulse. Mainly based on a really immature, emotional, knee-jerk reaction to it. I can be that way at times, although after 40 years on the planet, I AM getting better at trying to get the whole story before turning into the Taurus that I am.

ANYWAY...my anger and frustration was picked up online by a man named Charlie Groh. Charlie, who for all intents and purposes, has been in the drum corps activity since the mid 60's and is considered one of the country's leading "visual experts" when it comes to marching technique and teaching drill. I was surprised out of my anger one day when he tracked me down and called me at home. He spent the next hour on the phone with me, trying to get a better idea of what was making me so angry about Impulse and so resistent to allowing Impulse to take the field and spread its wings. I came to understand a few years later that it was in fact Charlie who came up with the name Impulse (a story of legendary importance actually), and so, he was intimately involved in the genesis of this organization. I appreciated his patience and fervor and ability to explain things to me, and was able to use a very effective and persuasive argument to at the very least to get me to shut the hell up on line about Impulse.

ANYWAY...Impulse made an impact on the drum corps community. They were a fledgling corps, and did their best to set their style as their own, yet, they could not help but be compared to VK. But that was OK with the powers that be of Impulse. They had a multi-pronged approach to their organization. One of their goals was to "carry on the tradition of the Velvet Knights and the Bridgemen" (who VK was actually emulating to some extent--so much so that the famous Bobby Hoffman who CREATED the freakin' Bridgemen joined us in 1987 and helped propel us to 7th place in the world!!!!). But another interesting goal of Impulse which, quite honestly, I missed, was something they called "to aid in the proliferation of drum corps in Southern California". Well...now that's odd. Why would Impulse want to PROLIFERATE the southern California region with drum corps? In a nutshell, and I'm only guessing, but Charlie Groh, one of Impulse's founders, was also one of Velvet Knights ORIGINAL members back in the mid 60's...and back then, before and right after I was born, Southern California was a HOT BED of drum corps activity. It wasn't the activity it is today, but the similarities were enough that me, a person that marched in the mid 80's, could embrace Charlie, who is nearing 60 years of age, as my "brother" in the activity. Goes back to that BOND I spoke of earlier. So, Impulse, albeit in a way that was "unique", was wanting to somehow, either by example or by other means, to get the activity jump started back out here in southern Cal after a mid 1990's slump and we had only 2 active corps (Pacific Crest and Westcoast Sound).

ANYWAY--I'm getting to my point...soon...anyway, fast forward to today. It was announced several months ago that the Velvet Knights were starting again. Interesting. However, it started as simply "VK", and there was a large amount of ambiguity about if this was a group wanting to be "sort of" like the old Velvet Knights or what. It was confusing to an extent, as I believed up to the point that this new organization was started, that there was never going to be another Velvet Knights. WHY? Because part of the reason why VK folded in 1996 was because of some IRS issues with a HEFTY back tax and fine levied on the organization. I assumed because of what I had been told that the name "VELVET KNIGHTS" was owned to a certain extent and attached to that name was this IRS "problem", so hence, no more Velvet Knights. Fast forward back to today--and here comes the VKYAO, or the VK Youth Arts Organization. Sort of splitting hairs because I think THEY were trying to stay away from legal issues until they were absolutely positive they actually COULD say they were in fact "THE VELVET KNIGHTS".

ANYWAY--Now...take this for what it is, but I have a "BULLSHIT RADAR" that gets pinged when I see new groups starting or whatever. I can sniff it from a mile away. I was quite well known for haraunging "SHOCKWAVE", a supposed corps starting up north several years ago, as well as something else on World of Pageantry a few years ago. I have NO FEAR of asking questions of groups that may ping my radar. Strangely, with this new "VK", there was only ONE thing that was pinging my bullshit radar, and it was this---WHO WERE THEY!?!?!? I thought it was strange that the issue was being skirted somehow, but I also realized in my 40 years of wisdom, that I wasn't on the "inside" of this organization and perhaps something was on the horizon. In reality and in all honesty, I had several nice online chats with the VK secretary Mayra (last name is hard...I'll get to it later). She was VERY gracious, answered my questions and concerns, and I didn't have any real "reason" to doubt the veracity or legitimacy of this start up. I was however, as a former VK member, a tad confused. I didn't even really understand my own confusion--but I was in a wait and see mode.

ANYWAY--things really got, how should I say, up and running when my previously mentioned friend, Ron Zeilinger, very publicly and quite frankly rather angrily started to question this group, and for his reasons, was not happy at all about what was going on. At first, reading his reasons, I actually could empathize with what he was saying. It felt weird to me as well--but to him, it was an insult. And as always in this wacky world of drum corps, there were hurt feelings and a lot of verbal judo. We have gotten to the point where now I believe Ron is accepting the creation of the Velvet Knights, however, he's still not happy. He doesn't HAVE to be. That's his right. But I think he's thought about the old "proliferation of drum corps" in southern California clause of why Impulse was started, and in all honesty, VK (Part Deux) is living up to this ULTIMATE goal, which is providing yet another entertainment venue for kids to participate in. It's just...well...weird. And I have to be honest...as long as this organization plays by the rules, puts the kids first, communicates honestly with them (especially in regards to whether they'll actually be approved by DCI in the first place), then...fine. I can't NOT say "good luck".
If you've read this far--then look at these wacky pics of me in VK back in the day. I just found these on a VK Alumni Yahoo Discussion Group. Pretty interesting...because I never have seen these.
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This is me...on the right...nice face Turner...anyway, the guy in yellow is Brian Neilsen, who was my co-drum major in 1986. I don't know where this picture was taken, but apparently it was in a gym. DUH. The guy in the back...that's Mike. I can't remember his last name. But he was a baritone player--I think we called him Brain Dead--he had some issues. But he was basically a GREAT guy underneath the issues. GILMORE!!! That's it. Just hit me just then. Mike Gilmore. Anyway--he cleaned himself up after VK and went on and joined the Army. I actually exchanged some emails with him several years ago, and he was living with his girl back in Arkansas I think--and doing well. Sent a pic of himself and he looked great. He grew up. And became a bad ass. And Brian--jeezo. I saw him 2 years ago at a drum corps show--he looked exactly the same, with a 13 year old trumpet playing son. I think he's a doctor or something. Boy was I in "like" with his sister for a time. Damn that Ron Dettman...DAMN HIM!!! (Note to Ron in case you learned how to use a computer--I KID!! I love you man!!!)

This next pic is of me and Dave Brunken, a lead soprano for VK in 1985 and 1986. Dave was a great guy. He was THE clown prince of the corps that was referred to as the clown princes of drum corps. Absolutely fall down funny guy. And complete with the strangest phobia ever--he hated going over bridges while we traveled across the country. FUNNY!!! He and I were never "close" per se, but he was part of the Bountiful, Utah Graverobbers Club in 1986. This pic of me and him was taken in the parking lot of Mt. Sac College. I have a very very vague recollection of this. I think this was at the Tournament of Champions band show in December of 1986. I actually think that's Arcadia's drum major standing behind us to the left!!! HAHAHAHA...uhhh
I was pretty dang skinny. I apologize for the glasses. That was back when Clark Kent glasses were in...and of course...I AM Clark Kent.

Last pic--that's me in 1987 at a show acting like an idiot. Don't know where that is, but I'm THINKING it's at the Sevierville Show in Tennessee...but I'm really not sure. Memory seems to get crappy after 20 years. That's Malcom Arnold, the contra...and the big scary guy to the left is Bob--and I can't remember his last name. He barely said two words all summer long, but he LOVED VK.

Well...that's for now.

I have LOTS more to talk about but there's only so many miles my fingers can walk in one day. Besides, I don't want anymore messages from a certain band director from the base of the majestic snow capped evervescent San Gabriel Mountains calling me and asking--"How DO you have THAT MUCH to talk about????" (I love you Tom!! And I'm NOT proud to say that...he gets the joke).

Found another pic that's cool...

2007-01-22T15:41:00.000-08:00

I like this one...sort of funny....taking last summer here at OCFA.

Apparently I doctored it up a little. Anyway--see the dude with the cap on backwards in the snare line? He freaked me out one day. Comes up to me and tells me that he goes to drum corps shows here in southern California and didn't put two and two together but then it all made sense to him--I was THAT GUY that announces. So--he's like a financial guru dude here the OCFA, but he's loves marching band and drum corps. Never marched corps but always goes to shows and what not. True to his word, saw him at a show this past summer. Pretty cool, hanh?

And ONE MORE PIC--OK?!?!?!? Jeeeeeeeeeez...

This is our new SHIRT and PATCH design specifically designed for us. Pretty cool, hanh?? My buddy and dispatcher here at OCFA, Josh Goldmark, designed it and is coordinating the production of the patch and shirts. VERY impressive. Now I've been here twelve years, and SOME futile efforts have been made to do some team building around here--but I love it when someone grabs the freakin' bull the juevos rancheros if you get my drift and just freakin' DOES IT. That a boy my Hebrew Brudda From Anudda Mudda Shalom!!!!!!!!!!! This patch ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!

Now...

I am PERSONALLY offended however by the liberties taken to photoshop MY HEAD into the area of the orange as recently had been done by an unnamed cyber-assailant who works in our I.T. department. Suffice it to say, it was DOUBLY hurtful when you consider that this computer so-called PROFESSIONAL actually shares a drum corps heritage with you--yes, that's right. This so-called upstanding employee used to teach the Velvet Knights back in the 90's. WAY after me--the old veteran from the 80's. But still...a brother Velvet Knight. Tsk tsk...Of course, I had a Division Chief email me this morning commenting that I should be feeling PRETTY GOOD about things, because this is the first time in HIS career that he's ever seen an employee's likeness used for a character in a patch or shirt--referring to the large, orange head as seen above.

Right.

That's what a DIVISION CHIEF said to me.

Lovely. What am I going to do? Tell him to take a long walk off a short pier??? NOOOOOO!!! I said, "Yes sir whatever you say sir may I have another sir???"

OCFA. You just gotta love it.

2007-01-22T15:14:00.000-08:00

Hello there!!!!! How 'ya doin? So much "stuff" has been going on over the last several days since my last update--I'm so sorry for taking so long to get back to this BLOG. Blog. What a funny sounding "thing". BLOG. How ya doin' today? Oh, I feel sort of BLOG today. Hey--we're being attacked by the vicious alien BLOG. I mean...what???

Anyway--hey. What up? What it be like? Get down, get funky--now get back up. Here's a pic I want to share...ready...here it is...

This where I was on Saturday morning--the Kingsmen Alumni Corps (KAC) performed as an opening act for the world famous NAMM Show at the Anaheim Convention Center. This picture is looking north--and you can see the tympani right there on the left side--the tenors behind them--the snares, and then--a little difficult to see but definitely there was 95 brass players and about 40 flags behind them. Now--this may prove impossible--but I'm IN THIS PIC. Find the drum major. He's the guy that seems elevated center right in the pic. Now--if you draw a line at a 45 degree angle DOWN from the right side of the drum major, you can clearly see half of my head. LOL!!!

Why was I there? I am the self-proclaimed "Voice of Southern California", and the KAC contacted me about 2 weeks ago asking if I could announce them to the crowd. It was VERY cool. I'm thinking about doing a review of the performance up on Drum Corps Planet. Anyway...it really was a SPECTACULAR performance. There were HUNDREDS of people outside listening to the corps, and they were hyping big time. They loved it, and so did the KAC. Great job by them.

Here's another quick pic for ya...This is my Sarah Bearah--sitting in the pilot's seat of her Uncle Jonathan's C-5 up at Travis Air Force Base. She's such a cutie. What a great little post Christmas trip we took. It was fun, especially for the kids. The tour of the C-5 was pretty fascinating to say the least. It was HUGE. It's a double deck plane, the lower half obviously being the cargo hold, and the top half being the crew quarters and the cockpit. It's really nasty in terms of cleanliness--really old--but wow. Pretty roomy!! Jonathan allowed me to go up another ladder just outside of the cockpit, and I was LITERALLY on top of the airplace, about 5 stories up off the ground. I won't be doing THAT again anytime soon.

And one last picture...My two most favorite children on the planet. This was taken about 4 months ago, but this is typical of the two. Michael and Sarah are just inseperable, which is actually pretty cool. I know siblings fight and don't get along some times, and that's to be expected. But I know that sometimes siblings aren't EXPECTED to get along. I will be the OPPOSITE of that as a daddy. I will EXPECT them to get along and be friendly and loving towards each other. And, I'll try to run a "fair and equitable" household so not one or the other feels slighted. Is this Pollyanna of me??? I don't know--but I DO know that right now I'm really digging this whole DAD thing!! LOL!!!! I love watching my kids play and how they interact and their personalities...it's great. Loving it.

Ok...well...that's it for now. There's a ton more to talk about, but I'm a little short on time. Career is going well...family is obviously going well...I'm healthy...fat...but healthy...and started announcing again for WGASC...and what else? That's about it--this is a boring post but hey. It's free!!!

Thanks for reading.

I've only just begun....TO HURT

2007-01-11T15:20:00.000-08:00

Yes ladies and gentlemen...yours truly climbed aboard the old scale in my master bedroom, and was aghast at seeing the number 280 staring back at me. After I was disarmed by my wife of sharp implements as I was trying to end my life right there on the spot, I made a decision to--pardon the French--GET OFF MY ASS AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!! I've had a membership to 24HR Fitness for about 8 years, and actually VERY successfully used it 7 years ago to lose a ton of weight and get in the best shape of my life (thanks to Bill Phillips and Fit for Life!!!). But then...CHILDREN happened. And stress. And a promotion. Yeah. Before I knew it--5 years later to be exact--I had gained 40 pounds....AND...I've gained 60 since I was married in 1995. 60. SIXTY!!! The freakin' number that comes after 59!!!!!!!! 60!!!!!!!!!!!

FAT ASS!! I know I know...the number 1 thing I've doing by deriding myself is going against all conventional wisdom that says you should LOVE yourself and be KIND to yourself, yadda yadda yadda. Whatever. I'm fat. I can't deny it. I'm tellin' ya the truth. Fat. And HORRIBLY out of shape. Well...after a couple of lurches and false starts over the last few months...let me tell you about my work outs.

Last week...worked out on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. All early morning. All at the 24hr Fitness in Brea (where the old Brea Improv used to be...where I liked to hang out and dream that someday maybe...wait...never mind....I'm not funny). THIS week, the Orange County Fire Authority started a 2 day a week Tues/Thurs in the parking lot circuit training using medicine balls, those big ass balls that you sit on, then these other balls called "slam balls"...and by just doing in place lunges, squats and various exercises...in 45 minutes....I was yelling "I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!" Holy CRAP on a plate. I was sweating my ass off. I'm actually getting ahead of myself. I worked out Monday morning at 24hr Fitness, then did the first day of this circuit training madness at work, then, Wednesday morning, did a REAL good work out even though my body felt like I had been hit by a truck from the previous day's workout...and then...TODAY. Thursday. During lunch, I head on down early, and this crazy exercise physiologist expert ran our butts through even MORE exercises. I had NO idea that one could hurt oneself so exquistitely by barely moving. I thought you like had to run a freakin' marathon. NO!!!! Actually, a marathon would be easier probably.

So...I'm now in my office. A little lightheaded. Very sore, especially my fat quadriceps and my hugmungous RUMP. But I hear pain is good. And that for all that pain, muscle is building, and for all that muscle building, it needs fat for energy. Well...in THAT case...you just go on little sore muscles, build away and chew up my fat. I would like to someday entertain the possibility that hanging on to my 38 inch pants was not in vain!!!

Oh...and by the way. People have known me to be a giant Diet Coke whack. I am. Or. Was. I'm off of it. No more. That aspartame sweetner is too suspicious for me. Heard it's been linked with lots of strangeness in the human body, one of which is, strangely, WEIGHT GAIN!!! So I'm off of it. COMPLETELY. Lots of water. My head hurts. Constantly. But I've had three seperate people tell me that once your body figures out you're not drinking that crap anymore, BAM! There goes the weight. WHATEVER. All I know...is by the end of January, if I don't see the magic number 275 on my scale, I swear to GOD I'm looking for the nearest cliff.