A couple of cool videos...

I talk so much in my life about my "Bank Geek" stuff, peppered with some semi-interesting things about my "Fire Geek" life. Here are a couple of videos from my "Fire Geek" side of life...

This first video is from a recent train derailment in Oklahoma back on Aug 22. I was told about this video in a command class I'm taking. Just watch--there's not much else I can say about this other than, "HOLY CRAP!!"



This second video is actually sort of "special" to me. I think this particular fire happened about 4 years ago or so. I'm not real clear on the date. But it happened in Reno, Nevada. Not sure of the weather conditions during the fire, but it appears a couple of things were in favor of this being a BIG problem. One, the fire was somewhat wind-driven. Two, it was burning up-slope. And three, it helped that there were houses at the top of the slope with wood decks and wood facing. What's remarkable about this video is the speed at which it took off. Here in Orange County, we pride ourselves on a relatively fast response time for a major metropolitan fire department. Don't quote me, but our response time is somewhere in the area of 5 - 6 minutes from the time we pick up the phone and say "What's your emergency?" to the time our equipment first pulls on scene. In the big picture, that's a pretty good response time. This video doesn't necessarily tell EVERYTHING about the response time on THIS particular fire by the handling agency (Reno Fire Department), but in my somewhat semi sometimes professional opinion, I don't think a faster response time would have had much effect on this incident. I simply cannot believe how fast this first moves. It's a longer video--and I certainly don't revel in the destruction of someone's home--but from a scientific and fire behavior point of view, the video says LOADS about how crazy fire can be...check THIS video out (rated PG for mild cussing by the voice in the background, which is mild compared to what I probably would have said):



There you go...something NOT band or winter guard or drum corps related.

For once.

Give it up for Grandma...

I'm not a big fan of Ellen DeGeneres. I can take her or leave her. But she has a cool show that is not as big as She Who Must Not Ever Be Named On My Blog, but certainly has a dedicated audience. Apparently Ellen allows callers to leave her messages on her voice mail, and she played a message from this sweet little old lady, and then called her back the next show.

Hilarity ensued. It's a very very cute little video, completely harmless.

Wait.

DID I JUST REFER TO A VIDEO AS CUTE?!?!?! What the?????????????

A little funny for your fanny Friday, fanboy

Ok...this is funny...I really did laugh. I should be working. But this came across my desktop, and now it is here on my website. If you've seen The Dark Knight like I have, you'll relate. I still think The Dark Knight may be this year's best picture with some of the greatest writing and acting I've seen in a long time, but I absolutely love parody. And...well...just watch this...


http://view.break.com/554666 - Watch more free videos

Have a nice day!

Leave me the hell alone, Tom Cruise!!!

Ok...(opening up the Ryan H. Turner History Book)....cough cough...wow, that's a dusty ass book. OK, let's see here...page...uhhhhhh, let's see...1989? 1990? Well...uhhh...let's see (flipping pages).



Oh, that's me on the podium...too far...let's see...1989....1990...cough cough...damn dust...



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! No..no...no...I went Back to the Future...good GOD....

Well...I guess I'll just have to talk about it.

Back in 1988...or thereabouts...maybe 1989...I was a student at CSULB. I was a music education major, really starting to get into the "biz" part of the pageantry arts by teaching and doing some writing, and still at the age of 22 living off of the generosity of my parents. I was SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY yet immaturely very much in love with an at-the-time rather prominent guard person whom I seriously worshipped and was probably just dangerously obsessed with (looking back that is--at the time...hell...I was happy). ANYWAY...life was pretty good. But there was (as always) something underneath the surface that was sort of buggin'. I don't know how to put it, other than it felt like an itch you couldn't quite get to. An unsettling little dam in the babbling brook of life (ok Turner...knock off the creative imagery--you SUCK!).

And I happened to come across one of these "Personality Tests" somewhere. Thought...ahhh...sure...let's do it. So I took it, then mailed it in to some place that had the word DIANETICS in it. They said they'd call with the results. Great. "Ring ring, Hello Mr. Turner, yes, we've called the authorities. You're a freak." What did I care? I was flying high in life at the time with the exception of this undefined itch, and I thought it would be cool to see if I can see what makes "The H." tick.

Get the call from a super nice person...COME ON DOWN...boy we'd sure like to talk to you about your results...blah blah blah. Next thing I know, I'm sitting with a "counselor" in a building in Tustin with the sign in front CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY. I'm thinking...mmmmmkay...don't know what this is about but fine. I'm game.

2 hours later, after being hoodwinked, uhhhh, I mean, "counseled" and having my first "audit" session as a "teaser" as to what Scientology could "do for you", I left there a little....what's the word?....freaked out. Apparently it wasn't what I was looking for. No harm, no foul. At the time, I was living with my good friend and prominent drill writer (and a person I give credit to for pointing me in the right direction) Dave Weinberg. He ends up getting married and I, being shy and bashful as I am (cough), had no friends. So I ended up moving back with mom and dad. Fair enough. It was cool. About 4 months after living there, my phone rings. "Ring ring, hellllllllllllllllllllllllooooo Mr. Turner, did you forget about us?" It was the Church calling. Strange. Why, I didn't tell them I was moving. I didn't even tell them I was interested. As a matter of fact, I didn't even know they knew I existed. It was the Pasadena branch of the "church" wanting me to start my "audits". Ahhhhhhh. Yeah. About that...uhhhhh, thanks but no thanks. This is where the phone call got a little interesting.

Them: "Wait a second...you mean to tell me you don't want to learn how to be a better human?"
Me: "Uhhhh, except for the occasional tick in my eye and my penchant to eat too many cheeseburgers, I'm fairly happy and content."
Them: "But, it's the cheeseburgers we have to explore. Why do you eat so much?"
Me: "I'm thinking they taste good."
Them: "Noooooooo no no no...something happened in your past. We have to find out. And then we'll uncover so much more. And then you'll realize how much you actually SUCK AT BEING A HUMAN RIGHT NOW. SEE??? It's wonderful. Come on down."
Me: "Uhhhh...so...how did you get my number?"
Them: "It's not important. But just don't wear that blue shirt you have on right now."
ME: (looking around--IN MY HOUSE--for the camera) "You are freaking me out. Really though, I'm not interested."
THEM: (Tone getting a tad...how should I say...unfriendly??) "Oh come on, Ryan. You know you need us. Don't be scared."
--insert a note...remember in Back To The Future where Marty McFly gets called "yella" or "chicken", and it makes him all crazy? Yeah...you wanna bag on me, fine. Wanna insult me, great. Have at it. Wanna bring up how stupid I am? Whatever. I know this. BUT DON'T QUESTION MY BRAVERY. Seriously. It wigs my ass out. Back to the story--
ME: "I think hanging up now will be in my future...thanks for calling."
THEM: "something something blah blah blah blah but but but" click....boooooooooooo...dial tone.

So...in 1989, I believe I, Ryan H. Turner, was done with any further contact with the Church of Tom Cruise.

Fast forward to six months ago. In my mailbox, I start receiving, and I'm TRUTHFULLY not overexaggerating, a highly expensive almost DAILY bombardment of ads, brochures, letters, invitations and all asundry materials from the COS. Can I just type COS now for the love of all that is holy? Gee thanks...

I mean...A LOT OF STUFF. And these were ads and things for people that were OBVIOUSLY members of the church who were "high up" on their internal "ladder" towards becoming a superhuman (note: I had done some cursory research on the church once the internet exploded on the scene to see what exactly that church was all about...and it's pretty interesting...to say the least....ahem...cough). So I'm thinking to myself:

1. If they were trying to "wooo me back" to the church, the stuff they're sending is totally wrong (from a purely marketing standpoint). I mean, this was superadvanced classes and books and stuff...not for the new guys.

and....

2. If my name still appeared somewhere somehow in someway on some list that resurrected itself 20 years after the fact, then they must assume I've been around for 20 years and I'm already UP "the ladder". Follow me? Which then I thought...

3. These people are idiots.

But it was their dime, and there was nothing in the mailings that said "If you would like to stop receiving this crap, please call us at...". So--whatever. I just didn't open anything...threw it all away.

Fast forward to two weeks ago. I'm at work, The Warden at home. Phone rings. Warden answers. It's the COS, "looking for" Ryan H. Turner. My wife, already suspicious of me because of these mailings, thinking I'm going to turn into a disciple of Tom Cruise, calls me post haste at work. What are you going to do about this blah blah blah. Did my wife get a phone number to call the fine COS people back?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Therefore, my answer to her was...

NOTHING. I'm going to do nothing. If they call again, I'll talk to them. Or I don't know...this is a stretch honey bumpkin schnookums. HOW ABOUT GETTING A PHONE NUMBER FOR ME?!?!?

Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh.

Then, the planets aligned themselves, and as I was struggling with a drill rewrite, the COS calls. Lo and behold, I'm home. So last week, I finally, after 20 years of not talking to them, speak to a VERY VERY nice young lady.

NICE LADY: "Soooooo Mr. Turner, how ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRE you?"
ME: "Grrr. What do you want?"
NL: "Well, we're just curious about your mailings we've been sending you."
ME: "Grrr."
NL: "Yes, well...uh,..."
ME: "Well, let's be honest. You guys are wasting lots of dough. I'm not interested in the church, and haven't been in about 20 years. So I'm curious as to how you got my address, and how the heck did you get my phone number, and why are you sending me stuff that's not for someone that's NOT a member of your organization."
NL: "Well these are fannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnntastic questions, and I..."
ME: "And you will take my name of your mailing list and not call me anymore. Seriously. I'm not trying to be rude, believe me. But I'm simply not interested, and I really feel badly that you guys are mailing me what I can only assume are pretty expensive mailings. All I'm doing is throwing them away. Trust me."
NL: "Well thank you Mr. Turner, you do make a good point. (Here's where she tries to hook me...VERY VERY clever...she changes her voice and everything.) You know, I'm going to take care of everything for you. But I...I'm sorry Mr. Turner, but I just have to ask you something. You sound very intelligent (Bing bing bing bing), and you sound really nice (bing bing bing bing). I mean, to be concerned that we're wasting money is pretty cool. So thank you. But you sound sort of familiar with us, and I'm curious, why are you not interested in the church?"
ME: "Because I'm not. And I again really sincerely am not trying to be rude (note: I have GREAT potential to be VERY rude--I'm a 911 expert for crying out loud--and I truly was being Mr. Nice Guy), but my reasons are private. I'm not interested."

So anyway--the call ended very amicably, very polite, and I thought "HOLY CRAP!!!" Sincerely...see above those "bing bing bing bings"? Had I NOT been married, and had I NOT been grounded in life sufficiently in both temporal and spiritual matters, she could have hooked me. Seriously. As a matter of fact, and I'm just being honest, but her charm worked so well that I actually thought that "ohhh man, those Scientologists are pretty nice...that was cool...she was..." Than I hit myself. WTF was I thinking? No offense if you happen to be a Scientologist, but uhhhh. Well, YouTube ain't exactly showing the good side of your church nowadays (hint).

Was the matter done?

OH NO. No no no no...not by a long shot.

Last night, my phone rings. It's 9pm!!!!! A very nice sounding young man as polite as can be from the COS International Address Verification Center (I'm not lying!) called to confirm my address and phone number.

Stunned silence. Remember I said I can be rude on the phone. After 14 years of public safety experience, you learn how to be rather DIRECT on the phone to gain CONTROL of a call. That's what I've been trained to do. I had about 2 seconds to determine what my exact tact was going to be. Was I going to completely unload on this guy? Or was I going to be ultra cool and polite like I was with the previous caller from last week? Or?

I chose or. I was direct, and not friendly. But not rude. Polite. But direct. Very. Sort of like I'm typing. Now. See? You feel it don't you? SAY IT!!!

I said, "I'm sorry, but apparently you're mistaken. I don't need to verify my phone number with you since you ARE on the phone with me, and you DO have my address because you keep mailing your material to me. Now let me be abundantly clear. Take my name off of your list as I instructed the nice lady from last week. I do not want to get your stuff in my mailbox anymore. Are we good?" Boy that guy hopped right to it. "Yessssssss sir yes sir" and he was typing away (I could hear the clicking in the background), and he said, finally, after what sounded like he typed out a short novella on me, "Mr. Turner, I'm very sorry for the confusion. I actually just found the note from the person that talked to you last week. I missed that note. I will take care of this. Give it about 6 weeks before the mailings stop, ok? Just takes a little time to process." NO PROBLEM...thank you thank you...have a nice day, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah...and I hang up.

BACK TO DRILL....

However, just like in a bad informercial....BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!!!!!!

At 9:50pm, MY PHONE RINGS....AGAIN.

It's the COS International Blah Blah Blah...wanting to...YOU GUESSED IT! VERIFY MY PHONE NUMBER AND ADDRESS!!!!

So I said to myself: "Self, shall I unleash the hounds?"
And I answered: "I shall."

Poor guy. The last I heard was....and this is as close to a quote as I can get..."Uh uh uh, I, uh, oh, yes, ahhh, yes, I uh, yes, you don't, oh I see, yes, hahaha, I called you by mistake, my bad, ha, buh bye." Click. Boooooooooooo.

He hung up ON ME!

Ain't that just a....

Apparently I rattled the foundation on which my home rests as I read him the riot act to which he, as indicated above, stammered through an apology forthwith.

So there you go. And Tommy, if you're reading this, please, tell your peeps to lay off now. I'm not interested. And don't get me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. I command lots of people that can do bad things with hoses. :-)

I'm out...thanks for reading "As The COS Turns".

Interesting couple of weeks...

Hi...I'm back...where'd I leave off....

--I have some research that I owe MYSELF about Obama. Don't want friends of mine to think I'm a complete ***hole and publish only half truths and what not about someone. Don't worry--it's in and amongst my list of "things to do".

--Went to a "product demonstration" of what is being referred to as "Next Generation 911". So all youz peoples out there that use your Crackberrys and iPhones and what not--and don't know how to dial 911...well guess what? The ENTIRE EMERGENCY TELEPHONIC INDUSTRY that supports my line of work is developing all new technology so instead of calling 911, you can just send me a video of a call, or a text message requesting help. Geeee...THANKS!!! Well my sarcasm notwithstanding, it sincerely IS a HUGE deal in the world of 911. I got to see two great products that deal with this, and I'm feeling like a really small fish in the big big big ocean of technology. But I'm learning...little by little. And if you're an OCFA ECC employee happening to read this, don't want to scare you. But changes are a'comin'. Probably not tomorrow. But next Monday for sure. :-) (I'm kidding...about the when that is...not the changes. Oh no...they ARE coming.)

--For all you band geeks and drum corps dorks, MUCH is happening in the world that I inhabit...the land of band stuff. My friend Jeff Pearson has stepped down as director of Santa Clara which shocked me at first, but then, realizing he actually has a life outside of drum corps, realized he's probably doing the right thing for his family which I know he cherishes. Other staff changes in the world of drum corps that are less shocking but one RUMOR that has reached me from a very reliable source that says.....well.....how do I say this? Uhhhh...someone that bleeds green may be adding red to that green soon. I'll leave it at that. But IF this rumor is true, it may be even bigger news considering things.

--Speaking of potential of change, I had a chance to meet with some "principles" who are on the road to starting a new and exciting drum corps in the San Diego area. My main focus of our meeting yesterday was to "talk them out of this". I didn't do a very good job. LOL!! But, based on what was told to me, I had a hard time formulating reasons NOT to put together this group after what was told to me about a unique strategy for the organization, the infrastructure that has been quietly (and I mean QUIETLY) put into place, and the awesome potential that I see. So...perhaps I might be given the task of being their "squawk box" and being the town cryer to announce them into existence. But time will tell--I gave them a few things to chomp on over the next month, plus I owe them some other organizational things I have in my files to maybe help talk them out of this foolish idea...lol. Soon enough...but I'm at about an 80% "launch" chance in the next 30-45 days for this organization. Until then though...my lips are sealed. I probably gave too much away already saying what area they're going to be from. And nooooooooooooooooo...this group has NOTHING TO DO with any previous organizations from the San Diego area. That was just in case any thoughts crossed anyone's mind...

--There's a certain band in a certain valley in Southern California that I have VIDEO RECORDED PROOF on my cell phone that is freakin' SCARY GOOD...on the 2nd day of band camp. Reports from this particular band camp is that the kids are "hyper focused" and are extremely hungry for success. Report received from person with 20+ years experience that he truly has NOT ever seen a situation like this, and wants to know if the city the school is in has had something put into the water supply. I would guess...video proof folks. I don't lie. Nor do videos.

--Went to an SCSBOA "field adjudication certification" seminar on Saturday. A little background...really little...after years and years and years of knocking on SCSBOA's door, I was FINALLY granted the right to be a visual performance judge 2 years ago. In the fall of 2006, I jokingly told the judge's scheduler to use me and abuse me. She did. Literally. In my rookie judging year with SCSBOA, I judged 13 shows all over southern California. I also (with one exception from a psychotic band director) received green sheets (the famous SCSBOA green sheet that directors can fill out after a show complaining or commenting on anything that happened...bad food, bad show hosts, bad judges) that actually COMPLIMENTED my judging. I only heard about it 2nd hand and never officially from SCSBOA, but that's what they do (not what I would do for sure), and there you go. First year with them was important to me, and I think I rose to the occasion. As a matter of fact, one school I judged has memorialized the tape I made for them at one of their shows, and I was told it was, in part, played for everyone at their band banquet a couple of years ago. EMBARRASSING but funny. ANYWAY (did I say this was going to be short...DAMMIT TURNER!!!), last season, because of a confluence of scheduling abnormalities and being affiliated with bands, I think I got....uuhhhhh...oh yeah. NO ASSIGNMENTS!!! Weird. I went from one end of the spectrum to the other. In the off season, there was a LOT of talk on and off line about SCSBOA judging (and the judges) not being adequete because there was no means for standardization and "training". SCSBOA assigned just-retired world famous band director John Vorwald to be the Judges Administrator for SCSBOA, and he/they came up with a "certification" procedure so that our judges are now "certified". I see the logic. And kudos to Paul Bluto who came ULTRA PREPARED for his visual certification seminar. With all due respect, I didn't expect much, and got a lot. Trent Newton, my old trombone section leader at Cal State Long Beach did a pretty dang good job of G.E. stuff as well. So why'd I talk about all of this? Because I got certified--I think--for visual, but they denied me for G.E., opting to use the old "you gotta be a band director to talk about it" reason, which of course is completely and utterly assinine as I am a professional show designer and a moderately successful musician who can speak intelligently to both music and visual aspects of a show BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I DO...but hey. I know...there's gotta be a line somewhere. And anyway, he did tell me if SCSBOA splits the G.E. caption into music and visual as seperate sheets, that I'll be "more than qualified" to do the visual effect caption. Gee...great. So...we'll see just how many assignments I get. There seemed to be a LOT of people at this event--and maybe SCSBOA won't be hurting for quality judges anytime this year like they have in recent years. We'll see--I still dig the judging thing. I'll be back in Illinois judging in September. VERY much looking forward to that.

--Last year, I was able to judge for MBOS. Earlier in my blog...like...LAST YEAR...I crowed about being able to share press box space with luminaries like the Dorrities, etc, etc. I loved judging for MBOS. I actually love MBOS in general terms. However, I have a sneaky suspicion I may not have been exactly what they were looking for. I remember having to be "talked to" about some of my scores being a tad inconsistent in terms of spread and "cause and effect" between subcaptions (which I truly did understand--just didn't realize the scrutiny factor was that high). I also got one "bad" comment (unknown if I got any good) from a director that was concerned I may have come across as sounding "mad" on my tape. I've been told that over the years in my teaching as well that due to my intensity of voice and passion for the activity, I get a little, ohhhh...high strung. It's NEVER mad. But it can be interpreted that way. ANYWAY...instead of getting any judging assignments with MBOS, I am announcing for them. So, at least I can help that way. It's just that when you've been announcing for what is it...25 years...it starts to get a tad old. Especially when you're handed AIR GRAMS!!!!!! Don't get me started about THAT subject.....good LORD!

--Family is well...my 5 month old Benjamin Wallace (sounds sort of like a basketball player's name...hahahaha...oh wait...that IS a basketball players name) decided about 2 weeks ago that he likes to wake up at 4am to sing Italian arias! Now, I'm all about protecting children from child abuse, but this kid is REALLY STARTING TO PUSH MY BUTTONS!!! I mean...look at him...

...laying there, all cute...giving me the stink eye...ahhhh, to heck with it. I think I'll keep him around a little longer. Whenever I go out with him, he's a chick magnet!!

Other kids are fine...AND QUIET for the love of...

DCI The Cavaliers 2004 Program- 007

So...this is where drill design has come in about 20 years...the person that wrote this drill (for all you non-drum corps blog readers) is a freakin' GENIUS. Watch how things develop...

Another Phantom Wins Video....

I don't know who this doof is that filmed this--heh. I guess I shouldn't call him a doof since I'm embedding his video in my blog. But--this is the moment during the announcing of scores last Saturday at DCI, as recorded from the backsideline. So you can see (through the doof's TERRIBLE filming ability) how big the crowd is and hear the reaction to Blue Devils getting 2nd.

BEDLAM. All the people you see running around hugging each other are staff members of Phantom Regiment.

OK...well, here's the closer for the band I have been writing for back in Illinois. I really have not figured out the sound issue like I previously led you to believe. I'm sorry. I'm a liar. I'm using Camstasia Studio 4, which is supposed to be IT when it comes to screen recording. I'm quickly losing my patience. ANYWAY--you can look at the pretty shapes. It's all to John Meehan's "The Garden" production--speaking of which, John Meehan is now a friend on Facebook. I'm tickled.

Truly.

Ahhhhhite...here's the drill....

ANNOUNCEMENT OF PHANTOM'S SCORE

Here is a bootleg copy of a video taken last night during the announcement of scores--this is to verify the fact the crowd went absolutely NUTS for Phantom....watch....and learn....what drum corps is all about!!!

PHANTOM REGIMENT WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In what can only be described as not only the upset of the century, but certainly a wish come true for drum and bugle corps fans across the world, last night, at the Drum Corps International World Championships in Bloomington, Indiana, the perpetual "bridesmaid" in the drum corps activity came from a 3rd place finish in quarter finals and a 2nd place finish in semi's to squeak by a nearly invincible Blue Devils to win the coveted World Championships with a score of 98.125. The Blue Devils were only .025 behind with a score of 98.100. For my readers who wouldn't know a drum and bugle corps if it smacked you upside the head, I invite you to take a moment to look back in my blog to a few "clips" I've posted of drum and bugle corps, most notably the recent clip of the 1988 Madison Scouts. I have always described drum and bugle corps to non-music people as "marching band on steroids". In any event, last night was a battle between two corps whose style and approach to show design and programming are about as different as two groups could get. I don't think I'll waste vast amounts of time trying to describe those differences--my drum corps and marching band friends "get it". An amazing night of drum corps last night back in Bloomington--all the while I was sitting in the Command Center in Irvine, California saving cats in trees.

Yippee.

Heard from a friend from long-ago yesterday that put a gigantic smile on my face. And to think she reads this crap....thanks for "checking in" MYD (I don't know what to put to replace the "D", so you'll just have to go with it for now).

The drama at my workplace is pretty incredible as of late. I have found out something about me. As I have gotten older, and have had kids, and have gone through several "ringers" in my life where priorities become crystalized for me in ways I never would have been able to do by myself, I find "drama" in the workplace to be particularly irritating. I simply don't have time for it. But unfortunately, based on my title, apparently I can be irritated all day long because that's what happens in the workplace. ANY workplace. But boy, I'm tellin' ya. The day that people can approach a problem calmly, rationally, and by looking at the freakin' BIG PICTURE instead of the myopic "what's in it for me" way I've been seeing, it will be a GREAT day at the OCFA.

Pipe dream, Turner!! PIPE DREAM!!!

Well that's about it for now. Working on the closing production for a major band back in Illinois, and I'll get that posted up. In case anyone cares, I figured out what the sound issue was that I had with my previous clips of drill design. Had to do with the bit rate of the MP3 that I was using. It usually comes in 128 bit rate. I have to UPgrade that bit rate to 192 for my animation program to "hear it" so I can synch the music and the movement. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...I get it.

NOT.

WTF is a bit rate?

See, I come from the days of turning on an amp, turning on a record player, dropping a needle, and OUT COMES THE FREAKIN' MUSIC. Now you have to have an AA in Computer Science to run your life anymore.

Ain't that the truth. Alright...that's about it. Oh hey....one more thing. You feeling adventurous? Go to my Facebook account...

http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=657885846

It's like Myspace....but for adults. It's actually pretty cool. Sort of addicting. In a strange sort of way. I actually found my very first girlfriend who now works and lives in England of all places. Small world.

Alright...I'm out. You should be to.

And then I grew up....

And this is just a real fast snippet of my opening announcement for the Kingsmen Alumni Corps at the Rose Bowl in the summer of 2007...just a tad better...

Me announcing...

This is back in 1989. I had just been hired as THE marching instructor for the Arcadia High Apache Marching Band. Dean Elder, who was the drill designer for VK back in 1985, wrote the drill. And this video clip I accidentally found on YouTube plays a very nervous Ryan H. Turner doing the opening announcement for Arcadia.

BOY I SUCKED!!!

Here's more drill...

Well--the sound came over, albeit BARELY--there's something wrong. But anyway, for you marching band geeks and drum corps dorks, here's my 2nd drill of the season--also posted on YouTube under my VKDM8687 pseudonym.

This is just wrong...but dang it...

IT'S FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNY!!!! I can't stop laughing.........there's something very wrong with me. Please send help.

I can't go to sleep until I share this...

I swear in the last 10 years, my world has become unbelievably small. Or large. Depending how you look at it. Quick memory trip--In summer of 1986, after I came home from my first year as drum major touring with the ORIGINAL Velvet Knights, I signed up for a year of music education fun and frolicking at CSULB. I ended up comparing schedules with a friend of mine that I had gone to PCC with, Rich Melville, and we ended up getting into all kinds of trouble together, but more important, we carpooled from Pasadena/San Marino to CSULB every day. Or thereabouts. I would drive from my house in Pasadena down to his nice posh neighborhood, park, and then get in his little Toyota truck and buzz down to school, all the while, Rich instructed me on the finer points of Metallica, Iron Maiden, speed metal, death metal, smoking pot, and uhhhh...well...some of the strange things he would do. Time is what it is, and life goes on. Last I heard from Rich was maybe 10 to 12 years ago when I had stopped by a mutual friend's house in Pasadena who I've talked about on this blog before--a stellar musician himself--Lou "Give Me A Reason, Turner!!!" Tartadian. I think I recall Lou was on the phone with him when I walked in and I said "Hi" and that was about it. Rich was living somewhere in Los Angeles at the time.

GET TO THE POINT TURNER---FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!!

Sorry....

I always feel like I have to set things up, hanh?

ANYWAYS...I joined Facebook and have been pretty amazed at the people that are signing up and becoming "my friend" through Facebook. TONS better than that swill called MySpace. But anyway--TODAY...out of the blue...one of the world's GREATEST trumpet players and I'm proud to say a friend of mine from WAY back, Tim Divers, became "my friend". COOOL! As per the custom on Facebook, you look at your new friends friends and see if you know any of THEIR friends, and then you ask them to be YOUR friend and so it goes. I personally think Facebook is setting us up to be the biggest Amway distributorship in the world--but that's another story.

So...I'm looking through Tim's friends, and find Rich Melville, my old commuting/drinking/partying/jazz band playing in friend. Yeah...so I send him a friend invite, next thing I know, he's commenting on that STUPID picture of me in that STUPID dog costume (see my Facebook account for more information), and of course, he brings up an inside joke between us that I hadn't thought of IN YEARS..."Beware the Zarconians." It's a complicated story I'll not bother you with...

ANYWAY...so I do a little investigating on HIS profile, and find out that the sucker is living in GREECE, and is in a rockband that's fronted by Gene Simmons' younger brother Serge...well ok ok, I kid. Sure looks like a relative of Gene Simmons to me. BUT WHO AM I!!!?? So...without further ado...please, take a moment, as I introduce American citizens to the hit Greece rock/polka/death metal conglomerate known as...DICKEN'S ZOO!!!

:-/

Uhhh...well...at least they aren't called The Zarconians.

(Just in case you think I'm being sarcastic, I personally think this is VERY cool to see Rich after all of these years....on Greek television...singing....in Greek. I knew he was talented...but this is IT!!! Oh...he's the sax player...)

And now for a quick break...

THIS still gets to me--20 years after it happened!!! Now THAT'S staying power!!

Clarification...

Someone--anonymously--left a message saying the post below dealing with taxes is downright false, and left an address to go see why. Well, fat fingers here accidentally deleted the comment. So whoever is anonymous leaving messages, could you repeat the link please so I can go investigate why you are claiming what I posted below is false.

Secondly--and I'm embarrassed for not verifying--but that freakin' link below does NOT work for CNN. So I have to do some research because I RELIED ON A SOURCE and I shouldn't have. So...worst case...maybe anonymous is right, and I'm regurgitating bad info about Obama.

SEE?!??!?! I'm reasonable, aren't I? I'm not rabid, and spitting and stomping and saying I'm right and you're wrong...but I am pissed at ME for not being better prepared.

I bet you'll see more info on this from me soon enough...well...it keeps people coming back to my blog, hanh? And to think--I'm not posting about marching band, drum corps, or the fire department!!!! LOL!!!

Why do I not like Obama?

A friend of mine through Facebook wanted me to account for my recent Obama rant by asking a relatively simple question--What don't I like about him? He's charismatic, he's a great speaker, he's got people swooning to him, he's "against the war in Iraq" (I put that into quotes because I haven't heard exactly WHY he's against it--it's just the current "buzzword" to get people to say "Yeah yeah yeah--that's right, ME TOO! I'm against it!!"), etc, etc. He's a man that was able to go to a foreign country and get 200,000 people to come to a speech. A speech that I'm not sure had any "purpose" other than to...uhhhh...well, I don't know. Was it a campaign speech in a foreign country? Why??? Germans don't vote for us do they? Was he there as a senator? Well--uhhhh...if he was, WHY? Was he there as a president? Uhhhh...sure seemed like it. But he's not. So--there's a certain "strangeness" that's hard to put my finger on, but I'm certainly not the only one to see it, or more importantly, FEEL it. To me, he's bamboozling the HELL out of everyone that listens to him. There's a VAST surge of this irrational EMOTIONALISM that is based on his concept of "CHANGE". CHANGE WHAT?!?!?!? That's what bothers me. He speaks in platitudes, he speaks out of both sides of his mouth, yet, it gets glossed over by starry eyed reporters that are too weak, too limp and not adhering to journalistic standards to get him to respond and defend his positions which seem to flip flop about.

But I guess MY biggest issue outside of this massive irrationality by my fellow Americans....or Germans for that matter....is the tax issue. I come from the land of "fruits and nuts" and am paying taxes for things that I think I don't really need to be paying taxes for. I'm lucky though I don't live in Los Angeles city proper. They're getting taxed--or about to be--FOR PLASTIC BAGS! Come on...please...but MY issue is pretty simple. We are being lied to by the people that should be working FOR US. Politicians CONTINUALLY tell us that we're "out of money" and we need to "increase revenues" (fancy pants talk for increase taxes--but that's not politically expedient to actually SAY increase taxes). They tell us that we need more taxes on gas, we need a toll lane on our freeways, that we need to do this, do that, pay here, pay there. ENOUGH!!!

If I am, as a halfway responsible American am to be able to live within my means, balance my checkbook, plan for my future, keep my finances straight, manage my household, and be "productive", well then DAMMIT ALL SO SHOULD THE POLITICIANS THAT ARE IN OFFICE!!! Our own state government, run by a has-been actor, is actually considering SLASHING THE PAY OF 200,000 CALIFORNIA STATE EMPLOYEES TO MINIMUM WAGE WITH A PROMISE TO PAY LATER WHAT THEIR NORMAL SALARY IS (RETROACTIVELY OF COURSE) BECAUSE THEY CAN'T FREAKIN' DECIDE ON A FREAKIN' BUDGET!!!! Wait a second. So...if I can't figure out MY budget, can I just go ahead and arbitrarily decide to stop paying my bills, and tell maybe Time Warner Cable or So Cal Edison or National City Credit "Hey--my wife and I are having some disagreement about our budget so I'll just get back to you with a payment when we get things figured out." That sounds like BULLcrap, doesn't it. That's EXACTLY what our politicians are telling us. BUT WAIT TURNER--what the heck does that have to do with taxes? Because these are the same knuckleheads that tell us they need MORE MONEY because they can't manage what they already have. See the vicious cycle?

I'm done with it. Really. We have a state infrastructure that is FAILING, and everyone is so racially sensitive that calling a spade a spade is so taboo that we FAIL in taking care of our OWN legal citizens. My roads wouldn't suck, my schools wouldn't suck, my taxes wouldn't be so high, my hospitals wouldn't be either closing or be FULL of people that can't pay if, ohhhhhh, I don't know...WE STOPPED ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION YA THINK!!!??? Human rights is one thing, sovereignty of one's country is another. And yeah...I know I just misspelled sovereignty. But you know what I mean. Soooooooooooooooooooooooo....

Why don't I like Obama? Read the following--now that you just read my rant:

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Subject: INTERESTING INFO ON TAXES

You can verify much of this here: http://money.cnn.com/news/specials/e...008/index.html
Of course, you may have noted that Obama's position appears to be changing, so you will have to pay attention to see what his latest approach is at buying votes.

INTERESTING DATA JUST RECEIVED ON TAXES
This is something you should be aware of so you don't get blind-sided. This is really going to catch a lot of families off guard. It should make you worry. Proposed changes in taxes after 2008 General Election:

CAPITAL GAINS TAX
MCCAIN
0% on home sales up to $500,000 per home (couples). McCain does not propose any change in existing home sales income tax.
OBAMA
28% on profit from ALL home sales
How does this affect you? If you sell your home and make a profit, you will pay 28% of your gain on taxes. If you are heading toward retirement and would like to down-size your home or move into a retirement community, 28% of the money you make from your home will go to taxes. This proposal will adversely affect the elderly who are counting on the income from their homes as part of their retirement income.

DIVIDEND TAX
MCCAIN 15% (no change)
OBAMA 39.6%
How will this affect you? If you have any money invested in stock market, IRA, mutual funds, college funds, life insurance, retirement accounts, or anything that pays or reinvests dividends, you will now be paying nearly 40% of the money earned on taxes if Obama becomes president. The experts predict that 'Higher tax rates on dividends andcapital gains would crash the stock market, yet do absolutely nothing to cut the deficit.

INCOME TAX
MCCAIN (no changes)
Single making 30K - tax $4,500
Single making 50K - tax $12,500
Single making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 60K- tax $9,000
Married making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 125K - tax $31,250
OBAMA (reversion to pre-Bush tax cuts)
Single making 30K - tax $8,400
Single making 50K - tax $14,000
Single making 75K - tax $23,250
Married making 60K - tax $16,800
Married making 75K - tax $21,000
Married making 125K - tax $38,750
Under Obama, your taxes will more than double!!!!! How does this affect you? No explanation needed. This is pretty straight forward.

INHERITANCE TAX
MCCAIN 0% (No change, Bush repealed this tax)
OBAMA Restore the inheritance tax.
How does this affect you? Many families have lost businesses, farms, ranches and homes that have been in their families for generations because they could not afford the inheritance tax. Those willing their assets to loved ones will only lose them to these taxes.

NEW TAXES BEING PROPOSED BY OBAMA

• New government taxes proposed on homes that are more than 2400 square feet.
• New gasoline taxes (as if gas weren't high enough already)
• New taxes on natural resources consumption (heating gas, water, electricity)
• New taxes on retirement accounts, and last but not least....
• New taxes to pay for socialized medicine so we can receive the same level of medical care as other third-world countries!

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I'm back...so as you can see--if you actually took the time to read the above--that we are in for a rude awakening. That's why I say "Obama must be stopped". This is ridiculous. To think that we responsible Americans are being asked to give up more NOT for anything worthy, but because THEY can't manage what they have is simply tooooooooooooooooooo much to ask of me. I'm all about being fair and I'm all about being accountable. So if I HAVE TO BE...so should they...they being the very government servants that we voted in. If you want to vote for Obama, go ahead. Fine. If you have anything concrete you can hook on to when it comes to Obama other than pulling the troops out of Iraq (which incidentally will happen anyway), go for it. But for the reasons above, as well as his indefensible behavior and attitude towards the military on this recent roadtrip, I will NOT support him...and I will do what I can to STOP him.Legally of course.(Side note to my friend from Facebook...politics is a tricky thing to talk about, and I may seem overly fired up. But California is a ____hole compared to when you were growing up here. I have a little vested interest in my state and I'm sorry I get/got riled up. And believe me...5 years ago, I barely cared. But I do now.)

And by the way--just so I don't get "labeled" as ranting and raving right winging conservative, WHICH THANK GOD I'M NOT, I plan on in the next few days of releasing the hounds on John "I'm pissed off and I may have my finger on the nuke launch button soon" McCain. You think Obama is bad.

You ain't seen NOTHING yet.

Geeeeeeeesh!!!

Geeesh is my term that I use sometimes that keeps me from invoking other less-than-favorable colorful metaphors ($1 to "just-a-damn-minute-admiral" Spock). But I think I have now reached the very limits of my ability to hold on to my emotions. Let me ask you a question.

If I said the following to you either here or in person, what's your FIRST response:

Barack Obama MUST be stopped.

Did you get a strange reaction right then? Did you think maybe I'm losing my marbles? Or I'm beginning to plot his demise? I'm not. But boy, the more I read and hear about this guy, the more I become seriously, seriously concerned about the very future of this country. I suggest you look into this if you care.

And I can't say with any sense of seriousness that McCain is all that great either.

I can't believe how political I've become in my old age. Amazing...check out my Facebook account, and apparently I've gone from the right to being a libertarian. And I didn't even know it. Actually, I'm not just a little libertarian. I'm a freakin' DYED IN THE WOOL libby.

Amazing...I bet my friend from high school, Jim Little, who was the first to teach me about political parties, is chuckling to himself.

Another day....

I'm still at the Southern Operations Command Center (South Ops) for another 12-hours handling hundreds of requests or "orders" and facilitating things. It's not that it's particulary mind-bending difficult, but it is intensive, especially when it gets busy. Filling a crucial need in one of the many spokes of the Fire Service. I was just commenting yesterday to my room full of captive audience members that when I first started dispatching for fire about 14 years ago, I had NO idea the full scope of the fire service. It is SO much more than just someone calling 911 and people coming to squirt the wet stuff on the hot stuff (which...really...sounds sort of...uhhh...odd). But seriously, it's amazing to me. It's what the general public has absolutely NO clue of. You read/hear/see the stories of the 2000+ fires in northern California and you know there are people up there fighting them. But what is NOT known is how those people got there, the incredible amount of coordination it takes, the money and politics involved, the technology, the training...it's all amazing to me. I don't understand a lot of it, but I KNOW about it. And just this morning, talking with one of the dispatchers here, apparently the LA Times will be starting a multipart series on "large fires" on July 27th. She worked the gigantic "Zaca Fire" last year, and stated that LA Times reporters were fishing around for stuff at that incident. She thinks this series coming up is going to be critical of the fire service here in southern California. On top of that, I know for a fact that the Orange County Register has been sniffing around the OCFA for info relating to salaries, because you know, we must make TOO much money.

This is what gets me--the media is able to zero in on one tiny portion of a GIGANTIC picture and make this tiny portion THE ISSUE of the year. Stupid. STUUUUUUUUUUUPID. I will DEFINITELY be sharpening my fangs for a rebuttal should either newspaper go down the route I think they'll be going down. "Ohhhhhh Ryan, what would we do without you and your rebuttals!!?"

Whatever...

In other news--my wife and 3 children have left me. Yep...I'm without my family. Or my Fam Damily as we like to refer to ourselves. Anyway, they're getting on a plane and flying to Seattle to go see G'Ma and G'Pa. Fun stuff. Good for them. And then in August, we're having a "family reunion" of sorts....in....what could possibly be considered the hottest spot on the planet during August. Yeah...LAS VEGAS. Geeeeeeee, let's have a reunion in August and go to the place where we can all spontaneous combust. Something about a timeshare condo deal that will make it all very very cheap. Sure. Cheap to house multiple piles of human ashes I'm sure.

In drum corps news...there is no news. Other than last night's seedings came out...

01 93.05 (3) - Blue Devils
02 91.60 (2) - The Cadets
03 91.25 (4) - The Cavaliers
04 90.40 (3) - Carolina Crown
05 89.90 (3) - Phantom Regiment
06 89.15 (1) - Santa Clara Vanguard
07 89.00 (2) - Bluecoats
08 86.00 (1) - Boston Crusaders
09 85.75 (2) - Blue Knights
10 83.40 (2) - Glassmen
11 82.90 (2) - Blue Stars
12 82.65 (1) - Crossmen
13 80.90 (1) - Colts
14 80.05 (3) - Spirit
15 79.70 (2) - Madison Scouts
16 78.55 (1) - Troopers
17 78.25 (3) - Pacific Crest
18 77.80 (1) - The Academy
19 75.45 (3) - Mandarins
20 71.15 (2) - Pioneer

I have seen a sum total of ZERO shows this year, although I did catch a run-through at a rehearsal by Pacific Crest in mid June. Blue Devils this year by all accounts is unbelievable with a show that is so unique and out of the norm that it's causing peoples' heads to explode. The next 6 corps are duking it out, and I'm very sorry to report that SCV is NOT doing what I hope it would do, and that's scare the crap out of everyone and turn on the afterburners. I have heard reports as I indicated yesterday that they have THE show this year, but it's a case of taking too big a bite, and the kids just aren't there yet. I LOVE SCV--and I only hope as I hope every year that they come out of the funk they're in and just WALLOP people. I've grown tired of Cadets pushing the envelope of what's acceptable in drum corps and tired of the Cavaliers. My other favorite corps, Phantom Regiment, whose "Spartacus" show is causing quite the stir what with a great hornline (as usual--16 CONTRAS!!--ohhhhhhhh my!), amazing drum line...AND KILLING SLAVES ON THE FIELD! You gotta love it. If SCV can't do what I want them to do, than I would bestow my desires with PR as my second favorite "spoiler" corps. But I'm thinking that Blue Devils are so far ahead of everyone that it's a foregone conclusion they'll take it. What I find sooooooooo refreshing and fantastic is Carolina Crown playing in the Top 6. Their hornline apparently is PHENOMENAL, which is understandable. When they did their "Angelus" show a few years back, they opened with a fanfare that had to me about 30 seconds of the VERY best brass sound I literally have ever heard on the field. It was comparable to Cavaliers 92 show at the end of "Waterloo" which I believe had the most in-tune major chord on G bugles I had ever heard up to and ever since!! It just SMACKED you in the face, and it was LOUD--but it was loud because it was IN TUNE!!! Anyway--I know by now any fire department people reading this have long since passed out from boredome--that's the drum corps scene for now.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh yeah...there's Open Class to worry about too. I don't have much to talk about them other than I was SORELY disappointed to hear that Gold from Hawthorne, California was NOT going back to Nationals. THAT SUCKS!! I've been a fan of Gold's because they are a "model" of what drum corps CAN be, and that's an organization that receives support and funding from a school district. Interesting--something I've squawked about up on Drum Corps Planet as being a viable way to possibly start MORE corps giving MORE kids an opportunity to have what I had when I was in corps back in the mid-80's.

HOWEVER...and this is a BIG however...I've squawked about regionalization before regionalization became a buzz word in drum corps circles. I cannot for the life of me understand why an organization, Drum Corps International to be exact, would expect drum corps' to do gigantic national tours that are very very expensive and man-power INtensive. To get a group of 128-150 performers across the country to play at shows almost every night or every other night is a MONUMENTAL undertaking. When I was in Velvet Knights, we would leave the 2nd week of July, and finals would be the THIRD WEEK OF AUGUST!!! I was on the road for 6 weeks...and that was AFTER what we called "first tour" which was a California/Arizona and sometimes New Mexico "leg" to start the season off. Of course, gas was cheap. And DCI HAS done the "right thing" by decreasing the summer season and having finals the first weekend of August. BUT STILL...so here's Turner's plan for regionalization that would provide PLENTY of performance opportunities for corps, AND still have a World Championships.

You start by dividing the country back into 4 quadrants. DCI-Pacific (California, Arizona, Colorado, Wyoming, Oregon, Nevada, Washington, Utah, New Mexico, and Idaho), DCI-South (Texas, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Carolina-both, Oklahoma, Louisiana), DCI-Central (from Nebraska to Minnesota, down to Missouri, Kansas, Ohio, Wisconsin, Iowa), DCI-East (Tennessee, Virginia, the east coast and north east). I won't break down the number of corps in each quad, but my cursory overview says that there's MORE than enough in each quadrant. Within those quadrants, you will have WEEKEND SHOWS ONLY for the first 4 weeks of the season, starting in June, and going until the middle of July. During the last two weeks, you have a "regional championship", with semis and finals, and whoever makes finals, will qualify for a national tour. During the next 2 weeks, those "qualifiers" than go on a "national tour" with maybe not so many shows, but BIGGER shows, ending with a national championship that will only have the very best in a simple, 2 day, semi final and final format. Allow the regions to be in effect the "quarterfinals", and take the financial pressure off of the corps to HAVE to go on a national tour only to do what? GO TO QUARTERS? That's silly.

I think my plan will also open the gates to allow MORE corps to be created because they won't have the huge cloud over their heads of national responsibilities, and give them obtainable, realistic, and WORTHY goals of going to their REGIONAL championships.

This is a bare bone idea, and no, I haven't scoped it out more. But in the parallel universe of all-age corps, Drum Corps Associates (DCA), where weekend shows ARE the norm, they are having an influx of new corps being created, there is FUN in the circuit, they're getting crowds, and hey...it's all about entertainment and competition, right? PLENTY of that in DCA without the huge financial burdens. Quality may not be at DCI level, but it sort of proves the notion that there's a strong fan base for good quality FUN drum corps that DOESN'T require the continual pushing of visual and musical envelopes.

So saith The H, so shall it be. I wonder if Dan Acheson reads my blog?