Marching band season is in full swing! The "fire season" is in full swing! And alllllllllllll is CRAZY!!
Hello all...if you know me on Facebook, than you know that I am spending in inordinate amount of time over there kabbitzing and meeting people and re-meeting old friends. It's really been quite cool. I've also linked this blog--The Observations of the H--with "My Notes" over in Facebook, so whatever I type here appears there. SO HI THERE!! I'm here. Or something.
Let's see...what can I talk about today?
Well, I just had lunch and I'm sitting down staring at my desk and several "to do" things on my list. One thing of interest was that on Friday of last week and then again this past Tuesday, I taught 4 classes in personal emergency preparedness to some employees of State Farm Insurance down in Irvine. My sister in law sort of put it together through their "employee betterment" classes they do where outside speakers come in and talk about all kinds of fun stuff--like will planning, financial planning, investing, computers, how to program your iPod, etc, etc. This was the first time that I officially taught a class on emergency preparedness, and outside of the fact that I was so nervous I could barely see straight, I actually did an ok job. Apparently they liked me. I'm going back in the spring.
As you are aware, the fire season is well upon us and this is always a troublesome time of year for me. My two loves in life--the fire service and the marching arts--sometimes come into conflict regarding my schedule. Bad. I hate that. So between my judging and announcing assignments this fall, as well as my requirement that if something bad happens at the fire department (like a big brush fire), I'm expected to drop whatever I'm doing and be at work, or STAY at work or whatever the case is. So...we'll see how this season goes.
And yes, the ever-loving marching band season is in full swing. My group in Illinois is doing PHENOMENALLY well, to the point that the director is "concerned" that they're getting way too big headed out there. Maybe I should fly back and explain the facts of life to them. One of my other groups out here just competed last weekend and won their class. COOOOOOOOOOOL!! Great way to start the season. But EVERY weekend except for Thanksgiving weekend, I'm doing SOMETHING somewhere. Amazing.
That's it...quite boring I admit...but it is what it is (dang it Thom...that's all I say anymore--and now EVERYONE at work is saying it....dang it!!!).
Now...get outta here!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
What a week...WHAT...A...WEEK.
If you happen to have Facebook and checked in at all during the week, you'd see that I hinted at this not being a very good time for me with my "status changes". I'm back on a bit more solid footing now that I'm at the weekend, and I know I peaked a lot of curiosity as to what I was hinting at. Without going into gory details, I was reminded, rather bluntly, that I was nowhere living up to my potential. It may seem rather silly for me to "emote" about this online, but, I can't help but say I was rather devastated. My force of personality I think makes up for some deficiencies in my life, but my charm and natural rugged good looks (yeah...whatever Turner) weren't going to save me. It took me two days of licking my wounds to sort of grapple with things, and a dear friend who told me to get up off my ass and get to work (she said it nicer than that).
There's no lack of "things" in my life. I have 3 children, a wife, a home, a career, my marching band business that can be whatever I want it to be, opportunities to judge and announce galore, really great friends, a faith that if not strong is at least there in something BIGGER than just this stupid life...and I was reminded that (to paraphrase a popular "feel good" self help expression) "For every horse that bucks you off, there are 10 more waiting for you. Some are going to buck you off, some are going to take you where you want. The difference between Ryan H. Turner and the rest of humanity is having the courage to chance success or failure by getting up off your ass and picking the next horse."
Believe it or not--I just made that up. Just right now. But it's appropriate isn't it? Life got you down? You got a plate with a big steamin' pile of poop on it sitting in front of you? You feel overwhelmed? You got a boss that smacks you down? You got a love in your life that's not loving you back? You got more things to do on your list than you have space on the paper for?
You take it all one day at time. That's allllllllllllllllllllll you can do. One. Day. At a time. Slow down. Take stock. Take a deep breath. Chill. Reeeeeeeeeeelax. And remember those things that are far far far more important than trivial everyday-ism's.
Who loves you? Who do you love? Who do you appreciate? Who makes you smile? Who is important to you? Who do you wake up everyday thinking to yourself about? Now...ask yourself...did you tell them in the last 24 hours, 48 hours, 2 week, 3 years...did you tell them they're important to you, that you are grateful they're around, that they EXIST, that they bring meaning and significance to your life beyond the old "Hey how ya doin' dude" or "Let's go watch Sex and the City girlfriend!" pleasantries.
Because nothing is more important. And if your priorities are out of whack, if your focus is on the money, or the woman, or the man, or impressing this, or buying that, or looking like this, or losing that weight, or climbing that corporate ladder, or crushing that opposition...whatever...WHATEVER it is...if you're out of balance in your life, whether you tend to get bitch slapped like I do (and did), or you're oblivious, I can guarandamntee you some part of your life is suffering. And more than likely, some ONE is suffering because of you.
We are toooooooooooooooooooooooooo engrained nowadays in the riff raff. We're too ready to go ($1 to my friend Bill in Illinois) "chase the butterfly". We're forgetting what's REALLY important. We're forgetting.
And this little rant is only brought to you from recent personal experience. If my life was balanced, I probably would have been doing a better job at what i was supposed to be doing, and I would never have been slapped. Or, if my life was balanced, and I still got slapped, I would have brushed it off, recommitted to doing better without any drama, and would have hit the ground running.
So I was definitely out of balance. And it's been my experience after a 42 year career of being Ryan H. Turner that these...what I call..."life's bitch slaps" tend to, at least for me, realign my priorities a bit. Sure--this is probably just an exercise in "verbal judo" ($1 to Kino, and old boss of mine), a slightly metaphysical/self-help type rant from yours truly...but that's what a blog is for. It's my thought right now that I have to get out. Partly to explain what the hell was wrong with me this week, partly to show by example that even idiots like me can stand back up and persevere, and that really, truly, I was reminded by that same dear, dear friend of mine that no matter what, don't forget who you REALLY are, and don't forget to share with those in your life the fact you're grateful they're there.
I have someone who I regard as my best friend (not my wife...a long time band/corps geek brother) who I use regularly (and he reciprocates with me) as a sounding board for WHATEVER. Crazy business idea? We yak. Crazy drill design idea? We yak. Crazy vacation idea. We yak. But we're not scared to thank each other for being each other's friend during these crazy times while we both have to deal with our own "spheres of responsibiity" in whatever we're dealing with. How grateful am I that I have at least ONE person that I can rely on that way.
Sorry for the rant. Sorry the time it took to have to wade through this. But this has been a very strange and very wonderful week.
So...there you go.
Now get outta here.
There's no lack of "things" in my life. I have 3 children, a wife, a home, a career, my marching band business that can be whatever I want it to be, opportunities to judge and announce galore, really great friends, a faith that if not strong is at least there in something BIGGER than just this stupid life...and I was reminded that (to paraphrase a popular "feel good" self help expression) "For every horse that bucks you off, there are 10 more waiting for you. Some are going to buck you off, some are going to take you where you want. The difference between Ryan H. Turner and the rest of humanity is having the courage to chance success or failure by getting up off your ass and picking the next horse."
Believe it or not--I just made that up. Just right now. But it's appropriate isn't it? Life got you down? You got a plate with a big steamin' pile of poop on it sitting in front of you? You feel overwhelmed? You got a boss that smacks you down? You got a love in your life that's not loving you back? You got more things to do on your list than you have space on the paper for?
You take it all one day at time. That's allllllllllllllllllllll you can do. One. Day. At a time. Slow down. Take stock. Take a deep breath. Chill. Reeeeeeeeeeelax. And remember those things that are far far far more important than trivial everyday-ism's.
Who loves you? Who do you love? Who do you appreciate? Who makes you smile? Who is important to you? Who do you wake up everyday thinking to yourself about? Now...ask yourself...did you tell them in the last 24 hours, 48 hours, 2 week, 3 years...did you tell them they're important to you, that you are grateful they're around, that they EXIST, that they bring meaning and significance to your life beyond the old "Hey how ya doin' dude" or "Let's go watch Sex and the City girlfriend!" pleasantries.
Because nothing is more important. And if your priorities are out of whack, if your focus is on the money, or the woman, or the man, or impressing this, or buying that, or looking like this, or losing that weight, or climbing that corporate ladder, or crushing that opposition...whatever...WHATEVER it is...if you're out of balance in your life, whether you tend to get bitch slapped like I do (and did), or you're oblivious, I can guarandamntee you some part of your life is suffering. And more than likely, some ONE is suffering because of you.
We are toooooooooooooooooooooooooo engrained nowadays in the riff raff. We're too ready to go ($1 to my friend Bill in Illinois) "chase the butterfly". We're forgetting what's REALLY important. We're forgetting.
And this little rant is only brought to you from recent personal experience. If my life was balanced, I probably would have been doing a better job at what i was supposed to be doing, and I would never have been slapped. Or, if my life was balanced, and I still got slapped, I would have brushed it off, recommitted to doing better without any drama, and would have hit the ground running.
So I was definitely out of balance. And it's been my experience after a 42 year career of being Ryan H. Turner that these...what I call..."life's bitch slaps" tend to, at least for me, realign my priorities a bit. Sure--this is probably just an exercise in "verbal judo" ($1 to Kino, and old boss of mine), a slightly metaphysical/self-help type rant from yours truly...but that's what a blog is for. It's my thought right now that I have to get out. Partly to explain what the hell was wrong with me this week, partly to show by example that even idiots like me can stand back up and persevere, and that really, truly, I was reminded by that same dear, dear friend of mine that no matter what, don't forget who you REALLY are, and don't forget to share with those in your life the fact you're grateful they're there.
I have someone who I regard as my best friend (not my wife...a long time band/corps geek brother) who I use regularly (and he reciprocates with me) as a sounding board for WHATEVER. Crazy business idea? We yak. Crazy drill design idea? We yak. Crazy vacation idea. We yak. But we're not scared to thank each other for being each other's friend during these crazy times while we both have to deal with our own "spheres of responsibiity" in whatever we're dealing with. How grateful am I that I have at least ONE person that I can rely on that way.
Sorry for the rant. Sorry the time it took to have to wade through this. But this has been a very strange and very wonderful week.
So...there you go.
Now get outta here.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Not Being Bored....Part II...
....I'm coming to you LIVE from Dallas/Ft. Worth International, just having devoured a Beef Brisket sandwich from a suspiciously nasty sounding joint called DICKEY'S. Yeah. At least I didn't have the sausage.... :-/ MOVING ON...
Now where was I?
--Belleville East HS, the band for which I came out to Illinois fortwith to clinic and judge their home show and then get on a bus and go to ANOTHER competition where they competed...this is a band as I described to them in my rather loud and motivating motivational "session" as being a "boiling pot of potential". I let them (the kids) know they could choose what direction to go. They have a pretty difficult show this season, full of LOTS of exciting music (props to John Meehan) and a pretty kicking drum line and a pit...OF 17 PEOPLE!! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLO!!! There's a whole lot of wood and metal in East's pit this year. But they're really good.
But by biting off a HUGE chunk to chew on with difficult music and challenging drill, well, instead of playing it safe and going with clean, they're experiencing the competitive reality of getting smacked around by the judges for "not being clean". I have gone through the same thing, most notably with Fountain Valley's Waterworld show and RBV's Kansas show, both VERY challenging and different levels. Both bands started slow, but both bands (in different years of course) roared to life by the end of the season, winning sweeps at the pseudo-championship mega-show Savanna Tournament. Belleville went into the competition last night with one goal--to simply do the best they can and soak up what happens with the audience. It was a typical high school stadium, not the tallest in the world, but it was a VERY long set of stands, so people were all the way out to the 10's. And it was PACKED. VERY cool to see that. And as we were walking over to the starting gate, the crowd was polite for the band before us (Oakville...HOLY COW...clean clean clean band), and gave them a nice round of applause at the end. But when "we" took field, our kids were pumped and right off the bat, the audience came alive. It was VERY VERY cool. Lots of clap traps built into the show (THANKS AGAIN MEEHAN!!!), and we've added a couple of doozy's. And with only 3/4's of a show on the field (they're still trying to figure out how to do my crazy rotating blocks...or how to arrange my death for writing them in the first place!!), they sort of got spanked last night. I mean...not HORRIBLY...lots of VERY positive comments with the admonition to clean the show (I agree obviously), but when they DO clean this show...watch out.
SPECIAL NOTE TO ANY SOUTHERN ILLINOIS MARCHING TECH PEOPLE...like they're reading this but hell, people know people so read on. If there are any tech people in the eastern Missouri southern Illinois area that want to hook up with a great band, search out Belleville East. They could use some eyes for the rest of the season--as long as you don't want to come in and change the world, you may be able to help this old man out and a GRRRRRRRRRREAT band full of some great kids. Director is on his own for the most part. Word.
--Guess what? Politics exist in the minds of band directors in the midwest too!!!
--Guess what?? Some judges have the unfortunate banner above their head in the midwest of being biased. GASP!!! That NEVER happens. ANYWHERE!!!! The shame...
:-/
--McAlister's Deli?? Midwest thing. It rocks. Thank you midwest for adding yet again to my waist line.
--To the manager at Starbucks in O'Fallon, Illinois just outside my hotel. Thank you for not making me feel like a complete loon for ordering (wait for it) a glass of milk to go with my apple fritter. Yes. A glass of milk. Isn't that sweet? Whatever Turner.
--Dallas/Fort Worth International is the most rockingest bitchin' airport ever. I think it gives Tampa a run for the money. This place is REALLY REALLY nice, with this elaborate "Skylink" metrorail system that gets you from gate to gate. And as I people watch frommy perch high atop a stool here in the dining area outside of DICKEY'S, I really am impressed with how nice it is here. Of course, I'm easy to impress. But it is what it is...RIGHT THOM WILLET!!!??? It is.
--Facebook is going to be the death of me.I'm just going to be so stuck on it that I will lose all sense of time and I will come to and my daughter will be 22 and married with kids on the way. Damn that Facebook. DAMN IT.
--OH OH OH OH!!!! BIG NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm anticipating an email from a major marching band in the western United States that quite possibly is interested in entering into discussion about next year. This is actually such a shock that apparently it shocked it's way out of my memory. But seriously. It's a case of yet again being in the right place at the right time. And I have to rely on the old "If a door closes, another opens." I just didn't ever think it would be THAT door. For obvious reasons, I'm mum on who this is, but obviously I'll yap about it up here on The Observations of the H...
--Cool side note to the trip...one of the judges was a local band director by the name of Jo Smith. Didn't recognize her. She judged visual ensemble, and my happy butt was on visual G.E., you know, where I talk about THE RELATIONSHIP OF THE MUSIC TO THE OVERALL DESIGN OF THE SHOW AND IT'S EFFECTIVENESS (sorry...I was hoping someone in SCSBOA was reading this...DOH!!!)...where was I?...oh yeah, so we introduce ourselves and she says, "Sooooooooooooo you live La Brea, right?" Uhhh...no...that would be a tar pit. I explained where I really live. I live in the hills that used to be a huge oil find back in the 1800's. OHHHHH...she said her son lived in Van Nuys. Oh...that's cool. Is he someone I should know (non sarcastically stated of course...if you know me...I could be QUITE the OTHER way with a question like that). "Oh his name is Nathan Smith....he's the assistant director for The Cavaliers." OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...THAT Nathan Smith. That's exactly what I said. OHHHHHHHH...HIM! Still not quite connecting the dots, I said "Does he judge out in southern California?" And she said the keywords that activate the gray matter to remember things...she says, "Ohhhh he is more now, but he works in the movie industry, so his schedule isn't normal." DING DING DING DING!!! And in classic Ryan H. Turner, I bellow, "OHHHHHHHHH I KNOW YOUR SON!!!!" And I did. I met Nathan when I went and judged my very first show for SCSBOA 3 years ago at the Simi Valley Tournament. He was the guard judge. Thinking my crap didn't stink back then (and I still do of course), and thinking I knew EVERYONE, I had never met him before. Cool dude...we talked...I remember him telling me he was in set design or something blah blah blah for "the industry". So of course I checked IMDB and YEP, he's for real. So...cool...just wanted to share it. Jo gave me some 411 on DCI and judging and stuff. She's a VERY VERY nice lady and a VERY VERY good judge. I wilted in her presence as I could hear her while we were working. Anyway...cool side story.
That's my peeps...I'm winding down on my layover here, thinking it may be time to strategically place myself closer to gate C12 (I'm all the way down at DICKEY'S at gate C6 because I just had to go to DICKEY'S apparently. Hope all is well with the 5.3 people that read this tripe.
And now...for a little tradition...a sign off that I used to use all the time when I first started this blog...
Thanks for reading...now please...GET OUTTA HERE!!
Now where was I?
--Belleville East HS, the band for which I came out to Illinois fortwith to clinic and judge their home show and then get on a bus and go to ANOTHER competition where they competed...this is a band as I described to them in my rather loud and motivating motivational "session" as being a "boiling pot of potential". I let them (the kids) know they could choose what direction to go. They have a pretty difficult show this season, full of LOTS of exciting music (props to John Meehan) and a pretty kicking drum line and a pit...OF 17 PEOPLE!! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLO!!! There's a whole lot of wood and metal in East's pit this year. But they're really good.
But by biting off a HUGE chunk to chew on with difficult music and challenging drill, well, instead of playing it safe and going with clean, they're experiencing the competitive reality of getting smacked around by the judges for "not being clean". I have gone through the same thing, most notably with Fountain Valley's Waterworld show and RBV's Kansas show, both VERY challenging and different levels. Both bands started slow, but both bands (in different years of course) roared to life by the end of the season, winning sweeps at the pseudo-championship mega-show Savanna Tournament. Belleville went into the competition last night with one goal--to simply do the best they can and soak up what happens with the audience. It was a typical high school stadium, not the tallest in the world, but it was a VERY long set of stands, so people were all the way out to the 10's. And it was PACKED. VERY cool to see that. And as we were walking over to the starting gate, the crowd was polite for the band before us (Oakville...HOLY COW...clean clean clean band), and gave them a nice round of applause at the end. But when "we" took field, our kids were pumped and right off the bat, the audience came alive. It was VERY VERY cool. Lots of clap traps built into the show (THANKS AGAIN MEEHAN!!!), and we've added a couple of doozy's. And with only 3/4's of a show on the field (they're still trying to figure out how to do my crazy rotating blocks...or how to arrange my death for writing them in the first place!!), they sort of got spanked last night. I mean...not HORRIBLY...lots of VERY positive comments with the admonition to clean the show (I agree obviously), but when they DO clean this show...watch out.
SPECIAL NOTE TO ANY SOUTHERN ILLINOIS MARCHING TECH PEOPLE...like they're reading this but hell, people know people so read on. If there are any tech people in the eastern Missouri southern Illinois area that want to hook up with a great band, search out Belleville East. They could use some eyes for the rest of the season--as long as you don't want to come in and change the world, you may be able to help this old man out and a GRRRRRRRRRREAT band full of some great kids. Director is on his own for the most part. Word.
--Guess what? Politics exist in the minds of band directors in the midwest too!!!
--Guess what?? Some judges have the unfortunate banner above their head in the midwest of being biased. GASP!!! That NEVER happens. ANYWHERE!!!! The shame...
:-/
--McAlister's Deli?? Midwest thing. It rocks. Thank you midwest for adding yet again to my waist line.
--To the manager at Starbucks in O'Fallon, Illinois just outside my hotel. Thank you for not making me feel like a complete loon for ordering (wait for it) a glass of milk to go with my apple fritter. Yes. A glass of milk. Isn't that sweet? Whatever Turner.
--Dallas/Fort Worth International is the most rockingest bitchin' airport ever. I think it gives Tampa a run for the money. This place is REALLY REALLY nice, with this elaborate "Skylink" metrorail system that gets you from gate to gate. And as I people watch frommy perch high atop a stool here in the dining area outside of DICKEY'S, I really am impressed with how nice it is here. Of course, I'm easy to impress. But it is what it is...RIGHT THOM WILLET!!!??? It is.
--Facebook is going to be the death of me.I'm just going to be so stuck on it that I will lose all sense of time and I will come to and my daughter will be 22 and married with kids on the way. Damn that Facebook. DAMN IT.
--OH OH OH OH!!!! BIG NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm anticipating an email from a major marching band in the western United States that quite possibly is interested in entering into discussion about next year. This is actually such a shock that apparently it shocked it's way out of my memory. But seriously. It's a case of yet again being in the right place at the right time. And I have to rely on the old "If a door closes, another opens." I just didn't ever think it would be THAT door. For obvious reasons, I'm mum on who this is, but obviously I'll yap about it up here on The Observations of the H...
--Cool side note to the trip...one of the judges was a local band director by the name of Jo Smith. Didn't recognize her. She judged visual ensemble, and my happy butt was on visual G.E., you know, where I talk about THE RELATIONSHIP OF THE MUSIC TO THE OVERALL DESIGN OF THE SHOW AND IT'S EFFECTIVENESS (sorry...I was hoping someone in SCSBOA was reading this...DOH!!!)...where was I?...oh yeah, so we introduce ourselves and she says, "Sooooooooooooo you live La Brea, right?" Uhhh...no...that would be a tar pit. I explained where I really live. I live in the hills that used to be a huge oil find back in the 1800's. OHHHHH...she said her son lived in Van Nuys. Oh...that's cool. Is he someone I should know (non sarcastically stated of course...if you know me...I could be QUITE the OTHER way with a question like that). "Oh his name is Nathan Smith....he's the assistant director for The Cavaliers." OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...THAT Nathan Smith. That's exactly what I said. OHHHHHHHH...HIM! Still not quite connecting the dots, I said "Does he judge out in southern California?" And she said the keywords that activate the gray matter to remember things...she says, "Ohhhh he is more now, but he works in the movie industry, so his schedule isn't normal." DING DING DING DING!!! And in classic Ryan H. Turner, I bellow, "OHHHHHHHHH I KNOW YOUR SON!!!!" And I did. I met Nathan when I went and judged my very first show for SCSBOA 3 years ago at the Simi Valley Tournament. He was the guard judge. Thinking my crap didn't stink back then (and I still do of course), and thinking I knew EVERYONE, I had never met him before. Cool dude...we talked...I remember him telling me he was in set design or something blah blah blah for "the industry". So of course I checked IMDB and YEP, he's for real. So...cool...just wanted to share it. Jo gave me some 411 on DCI and judging and stuff. She's a VERY VERY nice lady and a VERY VERY good judge. I wilted in her presence as I could hear her while we were working. Anyway...cool side story.
That's my peeps...I'm winding down on my layover here, thinking it may be time to strategically place myself closer to gate C12 (I'm all the way down at DICKEY'S at gate C6 because I just had to go to DICKEY'S apparently. Hope all is well with the 5.3 people that read this tripe.
And now...for a little tradition...a sign off that I used to use all the time when I first started this blog...
Thanks for reading...now please...GET OUTTA HERE!!
I just paid 7.99 to NOT be bored!!!
Oh God, why did you give me this disease called Adult Attention Deficit Disorder??? Why can't I just sit quietly by myself in an airport terminal in St. Louis, Missouri, be pleasant, sip on a Diet Coke, contemplate my naval fuzz, smile at people, and just relax?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...I can't do that, now can I? So I have a laptop (thank the Lord!) that when I travel mano y mano, becomes my link to the outside world. Most terminals are cool. They have free wireless. But not St. Louis. Oh nooooooooo. I have either have an account with some wireless provider, OR, I have to sign up with something that sounds like the beginning of a title of a porn movie. BOINGO?? What the?? So hear I am...$7.99 spent. Sitting in St. Louis, raining like a mutha outside as the last dying part of the giant Ike comes a'rollin' through, desperately missing my Sarah Bearah, Michael Ryan, and Mr. Chubs Benjamin Wallace....oh yeah, and I'm missing my wife too. :-) Here's some observations from my 3 days away...
--I love Ontario International Airport. They have their act DOWN. Surreal moment of my trip. I had just gotten up to the check your bags security area at Ontario on 9/11 at 8:44am. Yeah. To my surprise, some TSA dude all of a sudden yells "ALLL STOP!! ALLLLL STOP!!!! DISCONTINUE CHECKS!!!!" I'm thinking, "Great...Osama is in the house. We're all going to die." And then the coolest thing that I ever think I've seen happened. All of a sudden EVERYTHING stopped. EVERYONE stopped. Of course I'm dense and at the very first I was seriously thinking something was wrong, but then, DUH, it was 8:44am. And then the president of Ontario International got on the speaker system, and then the weirdest dang thing I've EVERY seen happened...it got DEAD ASS QUIET. NO ONE was talking...except for this disembodied voice from the speaker system. And in a quick, eloquent, meaningful, and dare I say heart-tugging moment, he asked all of us to pay our respects with a moment of silence on this horrible anniversary. And we did. I'm a big softy and I cry---OK!! Just get over it. I CRY. And here I am, choking up in a freakin' airport terminal, because I'm experiencing this "thing" with everyone else. Usually airports are a seas of humanity that has absolute no connection with each other with the exception that we all have to pack ourselves on aluminum tubes with wings and fly to destinations unknown. But we were there all sharing in the memory of that horrible day. Earlier in my blog archives, you can read where and what I was doing on Sept 11, 2001. A cool, sad, surreal, and impactful moment to start my trip.
--St. Louis, Missouri...the city...is one SCARY ass city. It's embarrassingly nasty. If there is anyone from the St. Louis city council reading this blog, do me a favor. At least TEAR DOWN the burned out tenaments and buildings that line the freeway. For God's sakes. And don't even get me talking about the war zone known as EAST St. Louis. Crimeny sakes.
--Belleville is a cute little midwestern city. Everything is green. EVERYTHING. I suffered through humidity levels that would have made a yak puke. It was just the nastiest thing in the world. I don't EVER remember VK tour in the 80's ever experiencing humidity the likes of which I had this past weekend. Well...except for that time in Omaha when I thought that possible someone left a door open....TO HELL!! That was bad. But the weather reports were all ominous the time I was here. Thunderstorms...heavy rain...wind...we didn't think we were even going to be able to rehearse for the show, much less have the competition. But the weather NEVER materalized until this morning, and then the hounds were released. I'm tellin' ya...if we had rain and wind like what I saw this morning in southern California for longer than 17 seconds, I swear to you, people would simply die. They would fall over dead from fright. We don't get this kind of weather.
--Belleville East HS is a former community college campus. Big, nice, all brick, well kept, and an interesting demographic of 50/50 whites and blacks. I only notice that because I think I saw one Hispanic. Oh and an dude from India. But what I saw was VERY heartening. For all the crap we hear in the media about racial inequality, and racial tension, and racial this, and racial that, I was watching the band kids and to some extent because I was there during the school day, the general population. Groups of kids were pretty mixed. Didn't hardly see big roving groups of one race. And everyone seemed very friendly to each other. Encouraging.
--Belleville East HS Marching Lancers is, as I told them during my "motivational session" a "big boiling pot of potential". They have had significant - more to come...they just called me to the plane...gotta go...check back!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...I can't do that, now can I? So I have a laptop (thank the Lord!) that when I travel mano y mano, becomes my link to the outside world. Most terminals are cool. They have free wireless. But not St. Louis. Oh nooooooooo. I have either have an account with some wireless provider, OR, I have to sign up with something that sounds like the beginning of a title of a porn movie. BOINGO?? What the?? So hear I am...$7.99 spent. Sitting in St. Louis, raining like a mutha outside as the last dying part of the giant Ike comes a'rollin' through, desperately missing my Sarah Bearah, Michael Ryan, and Mr. Chubs Benjamin Wallace....oh yeah, and I'm missing my wife too. :-) Here's some observations from my 3 days away...
--I love Ontario International Airport. They have their act DOWN. Surreal moment of my trip. I had just gotten up to the check your bags security area at Ontario on 9/11 at 8:44am. Yeah. To my surprise, some TSA dude all of a sudden yells "ALLL STOP!! ALLLLL STOP!!!! DISCONTINUE CHECKS!!!!" I'm thinking, "Great...Osama is in the house. We're all going to die." And then the coolest thing that I ever think I've seen happened. All of a sudden EVERYTHING stopped. EVERYONE stopped. Of course I'm dense and at the very first I was seriously thinking something was wrong, but then, DUH, it was 8:44am. And then the president of Ontario International got on the speaker system, and then the weirdest dang thing I've EVERY seen happened...it got DEAD ASS QUIET. NO ONE was talking...except for this disembodied voice from the speaker system. And in a quick, eloquent, meaningful, and dare I say heart-tugging moment, he asked all of us to pay our respects with a moment of silence on this horrible anniversary. And we did. I'm a big softy and I cry---OK!! Just get over it. I CRY. And here I am, choking up in a freakin' airport terminal, because I'm experiencing this "thing" with everyone else. Usually airports are a seas of humanity that has absolute no connection with each other with the exception that we all have to pack ourselves on aluminum tubes with wings and fly to destinations unknown. But we were there all sharing in the memory of that horrible day. Earlier in my blog archives, you can read where and what I was doing on Sept 11, 2001. A cool, sad, surreal, and impactful moment to start my trip.
--St. Louis, Missouri...the city...is one SCARY ass city. It's embarrassingly nasty. If there is anyone from the St. Louis city council reading this blog, do me a favor. At least TEAR DOWN the burned out tenaments and buildings that line the freeway. For God's sakes. And don't even get me talking about the war zone known as EAST St. Louis. Crimeny sakes.
--Belleville is a cute little midwestern city. Everything is green. EVERYTHING. I suffered through humidity levels that would have made a yak puke. It was just the nastiest thing in the world. I don't EVER remember VK tour in the 80's ever experiencing humidity the likes of which I had this past weekend. Well...except for that time in Omaha when I thought that possible someone left a door open....TO HELL!! That was bad. But the weather reports were all ominous the time I was here. Thunderstorms...heavy rain...wind...we didn't think we were even going to be able to rehearse for the show, much less have the competition. But the weather NEVER materalized until this morning, and then the hounds were released. I'm tellin' ya...if we had rain and wind like what I saw this morning in southern California for longer than 17 seconds, I swear to you, people would simply die. They would fall over dead from fright. We don't get this kind of weather.
--Belleville East HS is a former community college campus. Big, nice, all brick, well kept, and an interesting demographic of 50/50 whites and blacks. I only notice that because I think I saw one Hispanic. Oh and an dude from India. But what I saw was VERY heartening. For all the crap we hear in the media about racial inequality, and racial tension, and racial this, and racial that, I was watching the band kids and to some extent because I was there during the school day, the general population. Groups of kids were pretty mixed. Didn't hardly see big roving groups of one race. And everyone seemed very friendly to each other. Encouraging.
--Belleville East HS Marching Lancers is, as I told them during my "motivational session" a "big boiling pot of potential". They have had significant - more to come...they just called me to the plane...gotta go...check back!!!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
What am I? A Walking Information Kiosk?!? Live from Phoenix...
I'm coming to you live from Phoenix Skyport Skyway Skytower International Whatsitdingy, as I embark on a cross-country trek to the beautiful city of Belleville, Illinois, home of the nation's biggest/largest/oldest/newest something or other. I have no idea. I'm actually on the way to a marching band clinic gig and then to judge a show. They do things differently in the midwest. They're a tad earlier in the world of schooling than we are in southern California. SOmething about snow storms, blizzards, being stranded in your house, blah blah. Anyway, their marching band season is WELL underway. Ours...well...they're still certifying judges I'm sure. (Grrr.)
ANyway--odd experience today. Don't know if it's my naturally angelic, even dare I say cherubic looks or what, but I've been the parlayer of information to a random assortment of freaks today. Dude sitting next to me on the plane I think has never flown before. Why? Because he asked when we started to pull in to Phoenix, "So, uhhh...what do I? Do I just try to get off the plane as soon as I can?" It caught me off guard. I should have said, "Well of course dimwit. YOu claw and fight your way to the front as fast as possible-and you better watch out. I'm fighting too!!!" But I sort of chuckled to myself and said, "No...it's sort of like an orderly system. You'll get it." Just as soon as I said that, some impatient fossil of a man sort of shoved his way down the hallway right past my rookie flyer friend. Idiot.
But yeah....random questions today. Right along those lines. But it's to be expected. All of my life--well, my ADULT life--I'm always been approached by people asking me questions of like where to go, directions, opinions, etc, etc. My lot in life. Never fails to amuse me how many times I'm in a store and people automatically think I work there...Circuit City, Walmart, freakin' DENNY'S, whatever..."Hey man, do you work here?" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
So there you go....Hey I got some good news for once. And no, it's not about Sarah Palin, the next best thing that's come out of Alaska since its oil (that we sell to Japan--go figure). No, I do have good news about a subject of great concern I've had over the last few months. If you go back to my June archive, you'll see a story about a former love of my life that was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor and the resultant shock it was to my life. Well, I'm VERY happy to report (finally because this is sort of old news) that her surgery was a bonafide success, she's under close care by some world-renowned doctors and specialists, doing some minor chemo to make sure they kick the cancer in the ass, and she's got a support system that LITERALLY spans the globe. I mean that. So keep going M....
I'm out.
ANyway--odd experience today. Don't know if it's my naturally angelic, even dare I say cherubic looks or what, but I've been the parlayer of information to a random assortment of freaks today. Dude sitting next to me on the plane I think has never flown before. Why? Because he asked when we started to pull in to Phoenix, "So, uhhh...what do I? Do I just try to get off the plane as soon as I can?" It caught me off guard. I should have said, "Well of course dimwit. YOu claw and fight your way to the front as fast as possible-and you better watch out. I'm fighting too!!!" But I sort of chuckled to myself and said, "No...it's sort of like an orderly system. You'll get it." Just as soon as I said that, some impatient fossil of a man sort of shoved his way down the hallway right past my rookie flyer friend. Idiot.
But yeah....random questions today. Right along those lines. But it's to be expected. All of my life--well, my ADULT life--I'm always been approached by people asking me questions of like where to go, directions, opinions, etc, etc. My lot in life. Never fails to amuse me how many times I'm in a store and people automatically think I work there...Circuit City, Walmart, freakin' DENNY'S, whatever..."Hey man, do you work here?" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
So there you go....Hey I got some good news for once. And no, it's not about Sarah Palin, the next best thing that's come out of Alaska since its oil (that we sell to Japan--go figure). No, I do have good news about a subject of great concern I've had over the last few months. If you go back to my June archive, you'll see a story about a former love of my life that was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor and the resultant shock it was to my life. Well, I'm VERY happy to report (finally because this is sort of old news) that her surgery was a bonafide success, she's under close care by some world-renowned doctors and specialists, doing some minor chemo to make sure they kick the cancer in the ass, and she's got a support system that LITERALLY spans the globe. I mean that. So keep going M....
I'm out.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Vicious Attack!!!!
Having been the owner of a Rottweiler for several years, I can attest to the biting power of this massively powerful and potentially violent dog. This video, graphic in nature, shows what a Rottweiler can do to a kitten. Have a barf bag ready...
Mean Rottweiler Plays With Kitten - Watch more free videos
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the HUMANNNNNNNNNITY!!!!
Mean Rottweiler Plays With Kitten - Watch more free videos
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the HUMANNNNNNNNNITY!!!!
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
A Legend of Voice Has Died...
I didn't even realize he had been sick. But Don Fontaine, a TRUE voice legend, has died.
Very sad. And I care because I have always harbored this secret fantasy of being a voice over dude some day, but I've always been....just been too...what's the word??
Very sad. And I care because I have always harbored this secret fantasy of being a voice over dude some day, but I've always been....just been too...what's the word??
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
A couple of cool videos...
I talk so much in my life about my "Bank Geek" stuff, peppered with some semi-interesting things about my "Fire Geek" life. Here are a couple of videos from my "Fire Geek" side of life...
This first video is from a recent train derailment in Oklahoma back on Aug 22. I was told about this video in a command class I'm taking. Just watch--there's not much else I can say about this other than, "HOLY CRAP!!"
This second video is actually sort of "special" to me. I think this particular fire happened about 4 years ago or so. I'm not real clear on the date. But it happened in Reno, Nevada. Not sure of the weather conditions during the fire, but it appears a couple of things were in favor of this being a BIG problem. One, the fire was somewhat wind-driven. Two, it was burning up-slope. And three, it helped that there were houses at the top of the slope with wood decks and wood facing. What's remarkable about this video is the speed at which it took off. Here in Orange County, we pride ourselves on a relatively fast response time for a major metropolitan fire department. Don't quote me, but our response time is somewhere in the area of 5 - 6 minutes from the time we pick up the phone and say "What's your emergency?" to the time our equipment first pulls on scene. In the big picture, that's a pretty good response time. This video doesn't necessarily tell EVERYTHING about the response time on THIS particular fire by the handling agency (Reno Fire Department), but in my somewhat semi sometimes professional opinion, I don't think a faster response time would have had much effect on this incident. I simply cannot believe how fast this first moves. It's a longer video--and I certainly don't revel in the destruction of someone's home--but from a scientific and fire behavior point of view, the video says LOADS about how crazy fire can be...check THIS video out (rated PG for mild cussing by the voice in the background, which is mild compared to what I probably would have said):
There you go...something NOT band or winter guard or drum corps related.
For once.
This first video is from a recent train derailment in Oklahoma back on Aug 22. I was told about this video in a command class I'm taking. Just watch--there's not much else I can say about this other than, "HOLY CRAP!!"
This second video is actually sort of "special" to me. I think this particular fire happened about 4 years ago or so. I'm not real clear on the date. But it happened in Reno, Nevada. Not sure of the weather conditions during the fire, but it appears a couple of things were in favor of this being a BIG problem. One, the fire was somewhat wind-driven. Two, it was burning up-slope. And three, it helped that there were houses at the top of the slope with wood decks and wood facing. What's remarkable about this video is the speed at which it took off. Here in Orange County, we pride ourselves on a relatively fast response time for a major metropolitan fire department. Don't quote me, but our response time is somewhere in the area of 5 - 6 minutes from the time we pick up the phone and say "What's your emergency?" to the time our equipment first pulls on scene. In the big picture, that's a pretty good response time. This video doesn't necessarily tell EVERYTHING about the response time on THIS particular fire by the handling agency (Reno Fire Department), but in my somewhat semi sometimes professional opinion, I don't think a faster response time would have had much effect on this incident. I simply cannot believe how fast this first moves. It's a longer video--and I certainly don't revel in the destruction of someone's home--but from a scientific and fire behavior point of view, the video says LOADS about how crazy fire can be...check THIS video out (rated PG for mild cussing by the voice in the background, which is mild compared to what I probably would have said):
There you go...something NOT band or winter guard or drum corps related.
For once.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Give it up for Grandma...
I'm not a big fan of Ellen DeGeneres. I can take her or leave her. But she has a cool show that is not as big as She Who Must Not Ever Be Named On My Blog, but certainly has a dedicated audience. Apparently Ellen allows callers to leave her messages on her voice mail, and she played a message from this sweet little old lady, and then called her back the next show.
Hilarity ensued. It's a very very cute little video, completely harmless.
Wait.
DID I JUST REFER TO A VIDEO AS CUTE?!?!?! What the?????????????
Hilarity ensued. It's a very very cute little video, completely harmless.
Wait.
DID I JUST REFER TO A VIDEO AS CUTE?!?!?! What the?????????????
Friday, August 22, 2008
A little funny for your fanny Friday, fanboy
Ok...this is funny...I really did laugh. I should be working. But this came across my desktop, and now it is here on my website. If you've seen The Dark Knight like I have, you'll relate. I still think The Dark Knight may be this year's best picture with some of the greatest writing and acting I've seen in a long time, but I absolutely love parody. And...well...just watch this...
http://view.break.com/554666 - Watch more free videos
Have a nice day!
http://view.break.com/554666 - Watch more free videos
Have a nice day!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Leave me the hell alone, Tom Cruise!!!
Ok...(opening up the Ryan H. Turner History Book)....cough cough...wow, that's a dusty ass book. OK, let's see here...page...uhhhhhh, let's see...1989? 1990? Well...uhhh...let's see (flipping pages).
Oh, that's me on the podium...too far...let's see...1989....1990...cough cough...damn dust...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! No..no...no...I went Back to the Future...good GOD....
Well...I guess I'll just have to talk about it.
Back in 1988...or thereabouts...maybe 1989...I was a student at CSULB. I was a music education major, really starting to get into the "biz" part of the pageantry arts by teaching and doing some writing, and still at the age of 22 living off of the generosity of my parents. I was SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY yet immaturely very much in love with an at-the-time rather prominent guard person whom I seriously worshipped and was probably just dangerously obsessed with (looking back that is--at the time...hell...I was happy). ANYWAY...life was pretty good. But there was (as always) something underneath the surface that was sort of buggin'. I don't know how to put it, other than it felt like an itch you couldn't quite get to. An unsettling little dam in the babbling brook of life (ok Turner...knock off the creative imagery--you SUCK!).
And I happened to come across one of these "Personality Tests" somewhere. Thought...ahhh...sure...let's do it. So I took it, then mailed it in to some place that had the word DIANETICS in it. They said they'd call with the results. Great. "Ring ring, Hello Mr. Turner, yes, we've called the authorities. You're a freak." What did I care? I was flying high in life at the time with the exception of this undefined itch, and I thought it would be cool to see if I can see what makes "The H." tick.
Get the call from a super nice person...COME ON DOWN...boy we'd sure like to talk to you about your results...blah blah blah. Next thing I know, I'm sitting with a "counselor" in a building in Tustin with the sign in front CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY. I'm thinking...mmmmmkay...don't know what this is about but fine. I'm game.
2 hours later, after being hoodwinked, uhhhh, I mean, "counseled" and having my first "audit" session as a "teaser" as to what Scientology could "do for you", I left there a little....what's the word?....freaked out. Apparently it wasn't what I was looking for. No harm, no foul. At the time, I was living with my good friend and prominent drill writer (and a person I give credit to for pointing me in the right direction) Dave Weinberg. He ends up getting married and I, being shy and bashful as I am (cough), had no friends. So I ended up moving back with mom and dad. Fair enough. It was cool. About 4 months after living there, my phone rings. "Ring ring, hellllllllllllllllllllllllooooo Mr. Turner, did you forget about us?" It was the Church calling. Strange. Why, I didn't tell them I was moving. I didn't even tell them I was interested. As a matter of fact, I didn't even know they knew I existed. It was the Pasadena branch of the "church" wanting me to start my "audits". Ahhhhhhh. Yeah. About that...uhhhhh, thanks but no thanks. This is where the phone call got a little interesting.
Them: "Wait a second...you mean to tell me you don't want to learn how to be a better human?"
Me: "Uhhhh, except for the occasional tick in my eye and my penchant to eat too many cheeseburgers, I'm fairly happy and content."
Them: "But, it's the cheeseburgers we have to explore. Why do you eat so much?"
Me: "I'm thinking they taste good."
Them: "Noooooooo no no no...something happened in your past. We have to find out. And then we'll uncover so much more. And then you'll realize how much you actually SUCK AT BEING A HUMAN RIGHT NOW. SEE??? It's wonderful. Come on down."
Me: "Uhhhh...so...how did you get my number?"
Them: "It's not important. But just don't wear that blue shirt you have on right now."
ME: (looking around--IN MY HOUSE--for the camera) "You are freaking me out. Really though, I'm not interested."
THEM: (Tone getting a tad...how should I say...unfriendly??) "Oh come on, Ryan. You know you need us. Don't be scared."
--insert a note...remember in Back To The Future where Marty McFly gets called "yella" or "chicken", and it makes him all crazy? Yeah...you wanna bag on me, fine. Wanna insult me, great. Have at it. Wanna bring up how stupid I am? Whatever. I know this. BUT DON'T QUESTION MY BRAVERY. Seriously. It wigs my ass out. Back to the story--
ME: "I think hanging up now will be in my future...thanks for calling."
THEM: "something something blah blah blah blah but but but" click....boooooooooooo...dial tone.
So...in 1989, I believe I, Ryan H. Turner, was done with any further contact with the Church of Tom Cruise.
Fast forward to six months ago. In my mailbox, I start receiving, and I'm TRUTHFULLY not overexaggerating, a highly expensive almost DAILY bombardment of ads, brochures, letters, invitations and all asundry materials from the COS. Can I just type COS now for the love of all that is holy? Gee thanks...
I mean...A LOT OF STUFF. And these were ads and things for people that were OBVIOUSLY members of the church who were "high up" on their internal "ladder" towards becoming a superhuman (note: I had done some cursory research on the church once the internet exploded on the scene to see what exactly that church was all about...and it's pretty interesting...to say the least....ahem...cough). So I'm thinking to myself:
1. If they were trying to "wooo me back" to the church, the stuff they're sending is totally wrong (from a purely marketing standpoint). I mean, this was superadvanced classes and books and stuff...not for the new guys.
and....
2. If my name still appeared somewhere somehow in someway on some list that resurrected itself 20 years after the fact, then they must assume I've been around for 20 years and I'm already UP "the ladder". Follow me? Which then I thought...
3. These people are idiots.
But it was their dime, and there was nothing in the mailings that said "If you would like to stop receiving this crap, please call us at...". So--whatever. I just didn't open anything...threw it all away.
Fast forward to two weeks ago. I'm at work, The Warden at home. Phone rings. Warden answers. It's the COS, "looking for" Ryan H. Turner. My wife, already suspicious of me because of these mailings, thinking I'm going to turn into a disciple of Tom Cruise, calls me post haste at work. What are you going to do about this blah blah blah. Did my wife get a phone number to call the fine COS people back?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Therefore, my answer to her was...
NOTHING. I'm going to do nothing. If they call again, I'll talk to them. Or I don't know...this is a stretch honey bumpkin schnookums. HOW ABOUT GETTING A PHONE NUMBER FOR ME?!?!?
Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh.
Then, the planets aligned themselves, and as I was struggling with a drill rewrite, the COS calls. Lo and behold, I'm home. So last week, I finally, after 20 years of not talking to them, speak to a VERY VERY nice young lady.
NICE LADY: "Soooooo Mr. Turner, how ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRE you?"
ME: "Grrr. What do you want?"
NL: "Well, we're just curious about your mailings we've been sending you."
ME: "Grrr."
NL: "Yes, well...uh,..."
ME: "Well, let's be honest. You guys are wasting lots of dough. I'm not interested in the church, and haven't been in about 20 years. So I'm curious as to how you got my address, and how the heck did you get my phone number, and why are you sending me stuff that's not for someone that's NOT a member of your organization."
NL: "Well these are fannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnntastic questions, and I..."
ME: "And you will take my name of your mailing list and not call me anymore. Seriously. I'm not trying to be rude, believe me. But I'm simply not interested, and I really feel badly that you guys are mailing me what I can only assume are pretty expensive mailings. All I'm doing is throwing them away. Trust me."
NL: "Well thank you Mr. Turner, you do make a good point. (Here's where she tries to hook me...VERY VERY clever...she changes her voice and everything.) You know, I'm going to take care of everything for you. But I...I'm sorry Mr. Turner, but I just have to ask you something. You sound very intelligent (Bing bing bing bing), and you sound really nice (bing bing bing bing). I mean, to be concerned that we're wasting money is pretty cool. So thank you. But you sound sort of familiar with us, and I'm curious, why are you not interested in the church?"
ME: "Because I'm not. And I again really sincerely am not trying to be rude (note: I have GREAT potential to be VERY rude--I'm a 911 expert for crying out loud--and I truly was being Mr. Nice Guy), but my reasons are private. I'm not interested."
So anyway--the call ended very amicably, very polite, and I thought "HOLY CRAP!!!" Sincerely...see above those "bing bing bing bings"? Had I NOT been married, and had I NOT been grounded in life sufficiently in both temporal and spiritual matters, she could have hooked me. Seriously. As a matter of fact, and I'm just being honest, but her charm worked so well that I actually thought that "ohhh man, those Scientologists are pretty nice...that was cool...she was..." Than I hit myself. WTF was I thinking? No offense if you happen to be a Scientologist, but uhhhh. Well, YouTube ain't exactly showing the good side of your church nowadays (hint).
Was the matter done?
OH NO. No no no no...not by a long shot.
Last night, my phone rings. It's 9pm!!!!! A very nice sounding young man as polite as can be from the COS International Address Verification Center (I'm not lying!) called to confirm my address and phone number.
Stunned silence. Remember I said I can be rude on the phone. After 14 years of public safety experience, you learn how to be rather DIRECT on the phone to gain CONTROL of a call. That's what I've been trained to do. I had about 2 seconds to determine what my exact tact was going to be. Was I going to completely unload on this guy? Or was I going to be ultra cool and polite like I was with the previous caller from last week? Or?
I chose or. I was direct, and not friendly. But not rude. Polite. But direct. Very. Sort of like I'm typing. Now. See? You feel it don't you? SAY IT!!!
I said, "I'm sorry, but apparently you're mistaken. I don't need to verify my phone number with you since you ARE on the phone with me, and you DO have my address because you keep mailing your material to me. Now let me be abundantly clear. Take my name off of your list as I instructed the nice lady from last week. I do not want to get your stuff in my mailbox anymore. Are we good?" Boy that guy hopped right to it. "Yessssssss sir yes sir" and he was typing away (I could hear the clicking in the background), and he said, finally, after what sounded like he typed out a short novella on me, "Mr. Turner, I'm very sorry for the confusion. I actually just found the note from the person that talked to you last week. I missed that note. I will take care of this. Give it about 6 weeks before the mailings stop, ok? Just takes a little time to process." NO PROBLEM...thank you thank you...have a nice day, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah...and I hang up.
BACK TO DRILL....
However, just like in a bad informercial....BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!!!!!!
At 9:50pm, MY PHONE RINGS....AGAIN.
It's the COS International Blah Blah Blah...wanting to...YOU GUESSED IT! VERIFY MY PHONE NUMBER AND ADDRESS!!!!
So I said to myself: "Self, shall I unleash the hounds?"
And I answered: "I shall."
Poor guy. The last I heard was....and this is as close to a quote as I can get..."Uh uh uh, I, uh, oh, yes, ahhh, yes, I uh, yes, you don't, oh I see, yes, hahaha, I called you by mistake, my bad, ha, buh bye." Click. Boooooooooooo.
He hung up ON ME!
Ain't that just a....
Apparently I rattled the foundation on which my home rests as I read him the riot act to which he, as indicated above, stammered through an apology forthwith.
So there you go. And Tommy, if you're reading this, please, tell your peeps to lay off now. I'm not interested. And don't get me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. I command lots of people that can do bad things with hoses. :-)
I'm out...thanks for reading "As The COS Turns".
Oh, that's me on the podium...too far...let's see...1989....1990...cough cough...damn dust...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! No..no...no...I went Back to the Future...good GOD....
Well...I guess I'll just have to talk about it.
Back in 1988...or thereabouts...maybe 1989...I was a student at CSULB. I was a music education major, really starting to get into the "biz" part of the pageantry arts by teaching and doing some writing, and still at the age of 22 living off of the generosity of my parents. I was SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY yet immaturely very much in love with an at-the-time rather prominent guard person whom I seriously worshipped and was probably just dangerously obsessed with (looking back that is--at the time...hell...I was happy). ANYWAY...life was pretty good. But there was (as always) something underneath the surface that was sort of buggin'. I don't know how to put it, other than it felt like an itch you couldn't quite get to. An unsettling little dam in the babbling brook of life (ok Turner...knock off the creative imagery--you SUCK!).
And I happened to come across one of these "Personality Tests" somewhere. Thought...ahhh...sure...let's do it. So I took it, then mailed it in to some place that had the word DIANETICS in it. They said they'd call with the results. Great. "Ring ring, Hello Mr. Turner, yes, we've called the authorities. You're a freak." What did I care? I was flying high in life at the time with the exception of this undefined itch, and I thought it would be cool to see if I can see what makes "The H." tick.
Get the call from a super nice person...COME ON DOWN...boy we'd sure like to talk to you about your results...blah blah blah. Next thing I know, I'm sitting with a "counselor" in a building in Tustin with the sign in front CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY. I'm thinking...mmmmmkay...don't know what this is about but fine. I'm game.
2 hours later, after being hoodwinked, uhhhh, I mean, "counseled" and having my first "audit" session as a "teaser" as to what Scientology could "do for you", I left there a little....what's the word?....freaked out. Apparently it wasn't what I was looking for. No harm, no foul. At the time, I was living with my good friend and prominent drill writer (and a person I give credit to for pointing me in the right direction) Dave Weinberg. He ends up getting married and I, being shy and bashful as I am (cough), had no friends. So I ended up moving back with mom and dad. Fair enough. It was cool. About 4 months after living there, my phone rings. "Ring ring, hellllllllllllllllllllllllooooo Mr. Turner, did you forget about us?" It was the Church calling. Strange. Why, I didn't tell them I was moving. I didn't even tell them I was interested. As a matter of fact, I didn't even know they knew I existed. It was the Pasadena branch of the "church" wanting me to start my "audits". Ahhhhhhh. Yeah. About that...uhhhhh, thanks but no thanks. This is where the phone call got a little interesting.
Them: "Wait a second...you mean to tell me you don't want to learn how to be a better human?"
Me: "Uhhhh, except for the occasional tick in my eye and my penchant to eat too many cheeseburgers, I'm fairly happy and content."
Them: "But, it's the cheeseburgers we have to explore. Why do you eat so much?"
Me: "I'm thinking they taste good."
Them: "Noooooooo no no no...something happened in your past. We have to find out. And then we'll uncover so much more. And then you'll realize how much you actually SUCK AT BEING A HUMAN RIGHT NOW. SEE??? It's wonderful. Come on down."
Me: "Uhhhh...so...how did you get my number?"
Them: "It's not important. But just don't wear that blue shirt you have on right now."
ME: (looking around--IN MY HOUSE--for the camera) "You are freaking me out. Really though, I'm not interested."
THEM: (Tone getting a tad...how should I say...unfriendly??) "Oh come on, Ryan. You know you need us. Don't be scared."
--insert a note...remember in Back To The Future where Marty McFly gets called "yella" or "chicken", and it makes him all crazy? Yeah...you wanna bag on me, fine. Wanna insult me, great. Have at it. Wanna bring up how stupid I am? Whatever. I know this. BUT DON'T QUESTION MY BRAVERY. Seriously. It wigs my ass out. Back to the story--
ME: "I think hanging up now will be in my future...thanks for calling."
THEM: "something something blah blah blah blah but but but" click....boooooooooooo...dial tone.
So...in 1989, I believe I, Ryan H. Turner, was done with any further contact with the Church of Tom Cruise.
Fast forward to six months ago. In my mailbox, I start receiving, and I'm TRUTHFULLY not overexaggerating, a highly expensive almost DAILY bombardment of ads, brochures, letters, invitations and all asundry materials from the COS. Can I just type COS now for the love of all that is holy? Gee thanks...
I mean...A LOT OF STUFF. And these were ads and things for people that were OBVIOUSLY members of the church who were "high up" on their internal "ladder" towards becoming a superhuman (note: I had done some cursory research on the church once the internet exploded on the scene to see what exactly that church was all about...and it's pretty interesting...to say the least....ahem...cough). So I'm thinking to myself:
1. If they were trying to "wooo me back" to the church, the stuff they're sending is totally wrong (from a purely marketing standpoint). I mean, this was superadvanced classes and books and stuff...not for the new guys.
and....
2. If my name still appeared somewhere somehow in someway on some list that resurrected itself 20 years after the fact, then they must assume I've been around for 20 years and I'm already UP "the ladder". Follow me? Which then I thought...
3. These people are idiots.
But it was their dime, and there was nothing in the mailings that said "If you would like to stop receiving this crap, please call us at...". So--whatever. I just didn't open anything...threw it all away.
Fast forward to two weeks ago. I'm at work, The Warden at home. Phone rings. Warden answers. It's the COS, "looking for" Ryan H. Turner. My wife, already suspicious of me because of these mailings, thinking I'm going to turn into a disciple of Tom Cruise, calls me post haste at work. What are you going to do about this blah blah blah. Did my wife get a phone number to call the fine COS people back?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Therefore, my answer to her was...
NOTHING. I'm going to do nothing. If they call again, I'll talk to them. Or I don't know...this is a stretch honey bumpkin schnookums. HOW ABOUT GETTING A PHONE NUMBER FOR ME?!?!?
Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh.
Then, the planets aligned themselves, and as I was struggling with a drill rewrite, the COS calls. Lo and behold, I'm home. So last week, I finally, after 20 years of not talking to them, speak to a VERY VERY nice young lady.
NICE LADY: "Soooooo Mr. Turner, how ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRE you?"
ME: "Grrr. What do you want?"
NL: "Well, we're just curious about your mailings we've been sending you."
ME: "Grrr."
NL: "Yes, well...uh,..."
ME: "Well, let's be honest. You guys are wasting lots of dough. I'm not interested in the church, and haven't been in about 20 years. So I'm curious as to how you got my address, and how the heck did you get my phone number, and why are you sending me stuff that's not for someone that's NOT a member of your organization."
NL: "Well these are fannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnntastic questions, and I..."
ME: "And you will take my name of your mailing list and not call me anymore. Seriously. I'm not trying to be rude, believe me. But I'm simply not interested, and I really feel badly that you guys are mailing me what I can only assume are pretty expensive mailings. All I'm doing is throwing them away. Trust me."
NL: "Well thank you Mr. Turner, you do make a good point. (Here's where she tries to hook me...VERY VERY clever...she changes her voice and everything.) You know, I'm going to take care of everything for you. But I...I'm sorry Mr. Turner, but I just have to ask you something. You sound very intelligent (Bing bing bing bing), and you sound really nice (bing bing bing bing). I mean, to be concerned that we're wasting money is pretty cool. So thank you. But you sound sort of familiar with us, and I'm curious, why are you not interested in the church?"
ME: "Because I'm not. And I again really sincerely am not trying to be rude (note: I have GREAT potential to be VERY rude--I'm a 911 expert for crying out loud--and I truly was being Mr. Nice Guy), but my reasons are private. I'm not interested."
So anyway--the call ended very amicably, very polite, and I thought "HOLY CRAP!!!" Sincerely...see above those "bing bing bing bings"? Had I NOT been married, and had I NOT been grounded in life sufficiently in both temporal and spiritual matters, she could have hooked me. Seriously. As a matter of fact, and I'm just being honest, but her charm worked so well that I actually thought that "ohhh man, those Scientologists are pretty nice...that was cool...she was..." Than I hit myself. WTF was I thinking? No offense if you happen to be a Scientologist, but uhhhh. Well, YouTube ain't exactly showing the good side of your church nowadays (hint).
Was the matter done?
OH NO. No no no no...not by a long shot.
Last night, my phone rings. It's 9pm!!!!! A very nice sounding young man as polite as can be from the COS International Address Verification Center (I'm not lying!) called to confirm my address and phone number.
Stunned silence. Remember I said I can be rude on the phone. After 14 years of public safety experience, you learn how to be rather DIRECT on the phone to gain CONTROL of a call. That's what I've been trained to do. I had about 2 seconds to determine what my exact tact was going to be. Was I going to completely unload on this guy? Or was I going to be ultra cool and polite like I was with the previous caller from last week? Or?
I chose or. I was direct, and not friendly. But not rude. Polite. But direct. Very. Sort of like I'm typing. Now. See? You feel it don't you? SAY IT!!!
I said, "I'm sorry, but apparently you're mistaken. I don't need to verify my phone number with you since you ARE on the phone with me, and you DO have my address because you keep mailing your material to me. Now let me be abundantly clear. Take my name off of your list as I instructed the nice lady from last week. I do not want to get your stuff in my mailbox anymore. Are we good?" Boy that guy hopped right to it. "Yessssssss sir yes sir" and he was typing away (I could hear the clicking in the background), and he said, finally, after what sounded like he typed out a short novella on me, "Mr. Turner, I'm very sorry for the confusion. I actually just found the note from the person that talked to you last week. I missed that note. I will take care of this. Give it about 6 weeks before the mailings stop, ok? Just takes a little time to process." NO PROBLEM...thank you thank you...have a nice day, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah...and I hang up.
BACK TO DRILL....
However, just like in a bad informercial....BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!!!!!!
At 9:50pm, MY PHONE RINGS....AGAIN.
It's the COS International Blah Blah Blah...wanting to...YOU GUESSED IT! VERIFY MY PHONE NUMBER AND ADDRESS!!!!
So I said to myself: "Self, shall I unleash the hounds?"
And I answered: "I shall."
Poor guy. The last I heard was....and this is as close to a quote as I can get..."Uh uh uh, I, uh, oh, yes, ahhh, yes, I uh, yes, you don't, oh I see, yes, hahaha, I called you by mistake, my bad, ha, buh bye." Click. Boooooooooooo.
He hung up ON ME!
Ain't that just a....
Apparently I rattled the foundation on which my home rests as I read him the riot act to which he, as indicated above, stammered through an apology forthwith.
So there you go. And Tommy, if you're reading this, please, tell your peeps to lay off now. I'm not interested. And don't get me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. I command lots of people that can do bad things with hoses. :-)
I'm out...thanks for reading "As The COS Turns".
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Interesting couple of weeks...
Hi...I'm back...where'd I leave off....
--I have some research that I owe MYSELF about Obama. Don't want friends of mine to think I'm a complete ***hole and publish only half truths and what not about someone. Don't worry--it's in and amongst my list of "things to do".
--Went to a "product demonstration" of what is being referred to as "Next Generation 911". So all youz peoples out there that use your Crackberrys and iPhones and what not--and don't know how to dial 911...well guess what? The ENTIRE EMERGENCY TELEPHONIC INDUSTRY that supports my line of work is developing all new technology so instead of calling 911, you can just send me a video of a call, or a text message requesting help. Geeee...THANKS!!! Well my sarcasm notwithstanding, it sincerely IS a HUGE deal in the world of 911. I got to see two great products that deal with this, and I'm feeling like a really small fish in the big big big ocean of technology. But I'm learning...little by little. And if you're an OCFA ECC employee happening to read this, don't want to scare you. But changes are a'comin'. Probably not tomorrow. But next Monday for sure. :-) (I'm kidding...about the when that is...not the changes. Oh no...they ARE coming.)
--For all you band geeks and drum corps dorks, MUCH is happening in the world that I inhabit...the land of band stuff. My friend Jeff Pearson has stepped down as director of Santa Clara which shocked me at first, but then, realizing he actually has a life outside of drum corps, realized he's probably doing the right thing for his family which I know he cherishes. Other staff changes in the world of drum corps that are less shocking but one RUMOR that has reached me from a very reliable source that says.....well.....how do I say this? Uhhhh...someone that bleeds green may be adding red to that green soon. I'll leave it at that. But IF this rumor is true, it may be even bigger news considering things.
--Speaking of potential of change, I had a chance to meet with some "principles" who are on the road to starting a new and exciting drum corps in the San Diego area. My main focus of our meeting yesterday was to "talk them out of this". I didn't do a very good job. LOL!! But, based on what was told to me, I had a hard time formulating reasons NOT to put together this group after what was told to me about a unique strategy for the organization, the infrastructure that has been quietly (and I mean QUIETLY) put into place, and the awesome potential that I see. So...perhaps I might be given the task of being their "squawk box" and being the town cryer to announce them into existence. But time will tell--I gave them a few things to chomp on over the next month, plus I owe them some other organizational things I have in my files to maybe help talk them out of this foolish idea...lol. Soon enough...but I'm at about an 80% "launch" chance in the next 30-45 days for this organization. Until then though...my lips are sealed. I probably gave too much away already saying what area they're going to be from. And nooooooooooooooooo...this group has NOTHING TO DO with any previous organizations from the San Diego area. That was just in case any thoughts crossed anyone's mind...
--There's a certain band in a certain valley in Southern California that I have VIDEO RECORDED PROOF on my cell phone that is freakin' SCARY GOOD...on the 2nd day of band camp. Reports from this particular band camp is that the kids are "hyper focused" and are extremely hungry for success. Report received from person with 20+ years experience that he truly has NOT ever seen a situation like this, and wants to know if the city the school is in has had something put into the water supply. I would guess...video proof folks. I don't lie. Nor do videos.
--Went to an SCSBOA "field adjudication certification" seminar on Saturday. A little background...really little...after years and years and years of knocking on SCSBOA's door, I was FINALLY granted the right to be a visual performance judge 2 years ago. In the fall of 2006, I jokingly told the judge's scheduler to use me and abuse me. She did. Literally. In my rookie judging year with SCSBOA, I judged 13 shows all over southern California. I also (with one exception from a psychotic band director) received green sheets (the famous SCSBOA green sheet that directors can fill out after a show complaining or commenting on anything that happened...bad food, bad show hosts, bad judges) that actually COMPLIMENTED my judging. I only heard about it 2nd hand and never officially from SCSBOA, but that's what they do (not what I would do for sure), and there you go. First year with them was important to me, and I think I rose to the occasion. As a matter of fact, one school I judged has memorialized the tape I made for them at one of their shows, and I was told it was, in part, played for everyone at their band banquet a couple of years ago. EMBARRASSING but funny. ANYWAY (did I say this was going to be short...DAMMIT TURNER!!!), last season, because of a confluence of scheduling abnormalities and being affiliated with bands, I think I got....uuhhhhh...oh yeah. NO ASSIGNMENTS!!! Weird. I went from one end of the spectrum to the other. In the off season, there was a LOT of talk on and off line about SCSBOA judging (and the judges) not being adequete because there was no means for standardization and "training". SCSBOA assigned just-retired world famous band director John Vorwald to be the Judges Administrator for SCSBOA, and he/they came up with a "certification" procedure so that our judges are now "certified". I see the logic. And kudos to Paul Bluto who came ULTRA PREPARED for his visual certification seminar. With all due respect, I didn't expect much, and got a lot. Trent Newton, my old trombone section leader at Cal State Long Beach did a pretty dang good job of G.E. stuff as well. So why'd I talk about all of this? Because I got certified--I think--for visual, but they denied me for G.E., opting to use the old "you gotta be a band director to talk about it" reason, which of course is completely and utterly assinine as I am a professional show designer and a moderately successful musician who can speak intelligently to both music and visual aspects of a show BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I DO...but hey. I know...there's gotta be a line somewhere. And anyway, he did tell me if SCSBOA splits the G.E. caption into music and visual as seperate sheets, that I'll be "more than qualified" to do the visual effect caption. Gee...great. So...we'll see just how many assignments I get. There seemed to be a LOT of people at this event--and maybe SCSBOA won't be hurting for quality judges anytime this year like they have in recent years. We'll see--I still dig the judging thing. I'll be back in Illinois judging in September. VERY much looking forward to that.
--Last year, I was able to judge for MBOS. Earlier in my blog...like...LAST YEAR...I crowed about being able to share press box space with luminaries like the Dorrities, etc, etc. I loved judging for MBOS. I actually love MBOS in general terms. However, I have a sneaky suspicion I may not have been exactly what they were looking for. I remember having to be "talked to" about some of my scores being a tad inconsistent in terms of spread and "cause and effect" between subcaptions (which I truly did understand--just didn't realize the scrutiny factor was that high). I also got one "bad" comment (unknown if I got any good) from a director that was concerned I may have come across as sounding "mad" on my tape. I've been told that over the years in my teaching as well that due to my intensity of voice and passion for the activity, I get a little, ohhhh...high strung. It's NEVER mad. But it can be interpreted that way. ANYWAY...instead of getting any judging assignments with MBOS, I am announcing for them. So, at least I can help that way. It's just that when you've been announcing for what is it...25 years...it starts to get a tad old. Especially when you're handed AIR GRAMS!!!!!! Don't get me started about THAT subject.....good LORD!
--Family is well...my 5 month old Benjamin Wallace (sounds sort of like a basketball player's name...hahahaha...oh wait...that IS a basketball players name)
decided about 2 weeks ago that he likes to wake up at 4am to sing Italian arias! Now, I'm all about protecting children from child abuse, but this kid is REALLY STARTING TO PUSH MY BUTTONS!!! I mean...look at him...
...laying there, all cute...giving me the stink eye...ahhhh, to heck with it. I think I'll keep him around a little longer. Whenever I go out with him, he's a chick magnet!!
Other kids are fine...AND QUIET for the love of...
--I have some research that I owe MYSELF about Obama. Don't want friends of mine to think I'm a complete ***hole and publish only half truths and what not about someone. Don't worry--it's in and amongst my list of "things to do".
--Went to a "product demonstration" of what is being referred to as "Next Generation 911". So all youz peoples out there that use your Crackberrys and iPhones and what not--and don't know how to dial 911...well guess what? The ENTIRE EMERGENCY TELEPHONIC INDUSTRY that supports my line of work is developing all new technology so instead of calling 911, you can just send me a video of a call, or a text message requesting help. Geeee...THANKS!!! Well my sarcasm notwithstanding, it sincerely IS a HUGE deal in the world of 911. I got to see two great products that deal with this, and I'm feeling like a really small fish in the big big big ocean of technology. But I'm learning...little by little. And if you're an OCFA ECC employee happening to read this, don't want to scare you. But changes are a'comin'. Probably not tomorrow. But next Monday for sure. :-) (I'm kidding...about the when that is...not the changes. Oh no...they ARE coming.)
--For all you band geeks and drum corps dorks, MUCH is happening in the world that I inhabit...the land of band stuff. My friend Jeff Pearson has stepped down as director of Santa Clara which shocked me at first, but then, realizing he actually has a life outside of drum corps, realized he's probably doing the right thing for his family which I know he cherishes. Other staff changes in the world of drum corps that are less shocking but one RUMOR that has reached me from a very reliable source that says.....well.....how do I say this? Uhhhh...someone that bleeds green may be adding red to that green soon. I'll leave it at that. But IF this rumor is true, it may be even bigger news considering things.
--Speaking of potential of change, I had a chance to meet with some "principles" who are on the road to starting a new and exciting drum corps in the San Diego area. My main focus of our meeting yesterday was to "talk them out of this". I didn't do a very good job. LOL!! But, based on what was told to me, I had a hard time formulating reasons NOT to put together this group after what was told to me about a unique strategy for the organization, the infrastructure that has been quietly (and I mean QUIETLY) put into place, and the awesome potential that I see. So...perhaps I might be given the task of being their "squawk box" and being the town cryer to announce them into existence. But time will tell--I gave them a few things to chomp on over the next month, plus I owe them some other organizational things I have in my files to maybe help talk them out of this foolish idea...lol. Soon enough...but I'm at about an 80% "launch" chance in the next 30-45 days for this organization. Until then though...my lips are sealed. I probably gave too much away already saying what area they're going to be from. And nooooooooooooooooo...this group has NOTHING TO DO with any previous organizations from the San Diego area. That was just in case any thoughts crossed anyone's mind...
--There's a certain band in a certain valley in Southern California that I have VIDEO RECORDED PROOF on my cell phone that is freakin' SCARY GOOD...on the 2nd day of band camp. Reports from this particular band camp is that the kids are "hyper focused" and are extremely hungry for success. Report received from person with 20+ years experience that he truly has NOT ever seen a situation like this, and wants to know if the city the school is in has had something put into the water supply. I would guess...video proof folks. I don't lie. Nor do videos.
--Went to an SCSBOA "field adjudication certification" seminar on Saturday. A little background...really little...after years and years and years of knocking on SCSBOA's door, I was FINALLY granted the right to be a visual performance judge 2 years ago. In the fall of 2006, I jokingly told the judge's scheduler to use me and abuse me. She did. Literally. In my rookie judging year with SCSBOA, I judged 13 shows all over southern California. I also (with one exception from a psychotic band director) received green sheets (the famous SCSBOA green sheet that directors can fill out after a show complaining or commenting on anything that happened...bad food, bad show hosts, bad judges) that actually COMPLIMENTED my judging. I only heard about it 2nd hand and never officially from SCSBOA, but that's what they do (not what I would do for sure), and there you go. First year with them was important to me, and I think I rose to the occasion. As a matter of fact, one school I judged has memorialized the tape I made for them at one of their shows, and I was told it was, in part, played for everyone at their band banquet a couple of years ago. EMBARRASSING but funny. ANYWAY (did I say this was going to be short...DAMMIT TURNER!!!), last season, because of a confluence of scheduling abnormalities and being affiliated with bands, I think I got....uuhhhhh...oh yeah. NO ASSIGNMENTS!!! Weird. I went from one end of the spectrum to the other. In the off season, there was a LOT of talk on and off line about SCSBOA judging (and the judges) not being adequete because there was no means for standardization and "training". SCSBOA assigned just-retired world famous band director John Vorwald to be the Judges Administrator for SCSBOA, and he/they came up with a "certification" procedure so that our judges are now "certified". I see the logic. And kudos to Paul Bluto who came ULTRA PREPARED for his visual certification seminar. With all due respect, I didn't expect much, and got a lot. Trent Newton, my old trombone section leader at Cal State Long Beach did a pretty dang good job of G.E. stuff as well. So why'd I talk about all of this? Because I got certified--I think--for visual, but they denied me for G.E., opting to use the old "you gotta be a band director to talk about it" reason, which of course is completely and utterly assinine as I am a professional show designer and a moderately successful musician who can speak intelligently to both music and visual aspects of a show BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I DO...but hey. I know...there's gotta be a line somewhere. And anyway, he did tell me if SCSBOA splits the G.E. caption into music and visual as seperate sheets, that I'll be "more than qualified" to do the visual effect caption. Gee...great. So...we'll see just how many assignments I get. There seemed to be a LOT of people at this event--and maybe SCSBOA won't be hurting for quality judges anytime this year like they have in recent years. We'll see--I still dig the judging thing. I'll be back in Illinois judging in September. VERY much looking forward to that.
--Last year, I was able to judge for MBOS. Earlier in my blog...like...LAST YEAR...I crowed about being able to share press box space with luminaries like the Dorrities, etc, etc. I loved judging for MBOS. I actually love MBOS in general terms. However, I have a sneaky suspicion I may not have been exactly what they were looking for. I remember having to be "talked to" about some of my scores being a tad inconsistent in terms of spread and "cause and effect" between subcaptions (which I truly did understand--just didn't realize the scrutiny factor was that high). I also got one "bad" comment (unknown if I got any good) from a director that was concerned I may have come across as sounding "mad" on my tape. I've been told that over the years in my teaching as well that due to my intensity of voice and passion for the activity, I get a little, ohhhh...high strung. It's NEVER mad. But it can be interpreted that way. ANYWAY...instead of getting any judging assignments with MBOS, I am announcing for them. So, at least I can help that way. It's just that when you've been announcing for what is it...25 years...it starts to get a tad old. Especially when you're handed AIR GRAMS!!!!!! Don't get me started about THAT subject.....good LORD!
--Family is well...my 5 month old Benjamin Wallace (sounds sort of like a basketball player's name...hahahaha...oh wait...that IS a basketball players name)
decided about 2 weeks ago that he likes to wake up at 4am to sing Italian arias! Now, I'm all about protecting children from child abuse, but this kid is REALLY STARTING TO PUSH MY BUTTONS!!! I mean...look at him...
...laying there, all cute...giving me the stink eye...ahhhh, to heck with it. I think I'll keep him around a little longer. Whenever I go out with him, he's a chick magnet!!
Other kids are fine...AND QUIET for the love of...
Friday, August 15, 2008
DCI The Cavaliers 2004 Program- 007
So...this is where drill design has come in about 20 years...the person that wrote this drill (for all you non-drum corps blog readers) is a freakin' GENIUS. Watch how things develop...
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Another Phantom Wins Video....
I don't know who this doof is that filmed this--heh. I guess I shouldn't call him a doof since I'm embedding his video in my blog. But--this is the moment during the announcing of scores last Saturday at DCI, as recorded from the backsideline. So you can see (through the doof's TERRIBLE filming ability) how big the crowd is and hear the reaction to Blue Devils getting 2nd.
BEDLAM. All the people you see running around hugging each other are staff members of Phantom Regiment.
BEDLAM. All the people you see running around hugging each other are staff members of Phantom Regiment.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
OK...well, here's the closer for the band I have been writing for back in Illinois. I really have not figured out the sound issue like I previously led you to believe. I'm sorry. I'm a liar. I'm using Camstasia Studio 4, which is supposed to be IT when it comes to screen recording. I'm quickly losing my patience. ANYWAY--you can look at the pretty shapes. It's all to John Meehan's "The Garden" production--speaking of which, John Meehan is now a friend on Facebook. I'm tickled.
Truly.
Ahhhhhite...here's the drill....
Truly.
Ahhhhhite...here's the drill....
ANNOUNCEMENT OF PHANTOM'S SCORE
Here is a bootleg copy of a video taken last night during the announcement of scores--this is to verify the fact the crowd went absolutely NUTS for Phantom....watch....and learn....what drum corps is all about!!!
PHANTOM REGIMENT WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In what can only be described as not only the upset of the century, but certainly a wish come true for drum and bugle corps fans across the world, last night, at the Drum Corps International World Championships in Bloomington, Indiana, the perpetual "bridesmaid" in the drum corps activity came from a 3rd place finish in quarter finals and a 2nd place finish in semi's to squeak by a nearly invincible Blue Devils to win the coveted World Championships with a score of 98.125. The Blue Devils were only .025 behind with a score of 98.100. For my readers who wouldn't know a drum and bugle corps if it smacked you upside the head, I invite you to take a moment to look back in my blog to a few "clips" I've posted of drum and bugle corps, most notably the recent clip of the 1988 Madison Scouts. I have always described drum and bugle corps to non-music people as "marching band on steroids". In any event, last night was a battle between two corps whose style and approach to show design and programming are about as different as two groups could get. I don't think I'll waste vast amounts of time trying to describe those differences--my drum corps and marching band friends "get it". An amazing night of drum corps last night back in Bloomington--all the while I was sitting in the Command Center in Irvine, California saving cats in trees.
Yippee.
Heard from a friend from long-ago yesterday that put a gigantic smile on my face. And to think she reads this crap....thanks for "checking in" MYD (I don't know what to put to replace the "D", so you'll just have to go with it for now).
The drama at my workplace is pretty incredible as of late. I have found out something about me. As I have gotten older, and have had kids, and have gone through several "ringers" in my life where priorities become crystalized for me in ways I never would have been able to do by myself, I find "drama" in the workplace to be particularly irritating. I simply don't have time for it. But unfortunately, based on my title, apparently I can be irritated all day long because that's what happens in the workplace. ANY workplace. But boy, I'm tellin' ya. The day that people can approach a problem calmly, rationally, and by looking at the freakin' BIG PICTURE instead of the myopic "what's in it for me" way I've been seeing, it will be a GREAT day at the OCFA.
Pipe dream, Turner!! PIPE DREAM!!!
Well that's about it for now. Working on the closing production for a major band back in Illinois, and I'll get that posted up. In case anyone cares, I figured out what the sound issue was that I had with my previous clips of drill design. Had to do with the bit rate of the MP3 that I was using. It usually comes in 128 bit rate. I have to UPgrade that bit rate to 192 for my animation program to "hear it" so I can synch the music and the movement. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...I get it.
NOT.
WTF is a bit rate?
See, I come from the days of turning on an amp, turning on a record player, dropping a needle, and OUT COMES THE FREAKIN' MUSIC. Now you have to have an AA in Computer Science to run your life anymore.
Ain't that the truth. Alright...that's about it. Oh hey....one more thing. You feeling adventurous? Go to my Facebook account...
http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=657885846
It's like Myspace....but for adults. It's actually pretty cool. Sort of addicting. In a strange sort of way. I actually found my very first girlfriend who now works and lives in England of all places. Small world.
Alright...I'm out. You should be to.
Yippee.
Heard from a friend from long-ago yesterday that put a gigantic smile on my face. And to think she reads this crap....thanks for "checking in" MYD (I don't know what to put to replace the "D", so you'll just have to go with it for now).
The drama at my workplace is pretty incredible as of late. I have found out something about me. As I have gotten older, and have had kids, and have gone through several "ringers" in my life where priorities become crystalized for me in ways I never would have been able to do by myself, I find "drama" in the workplace to be particularly irritating. I simply don't have time for it. But unfortunately, based on my title, apparently I can be irritated all day long because that's what happens in the workplace. ANY workplace. But boy, I'm tellin' ya. The day that people can approach a problem calmly, rationally, and by looking at the freakin' BIG PICTURE instead of the myopic "what's in it for me" way I've been seeing, it will be a GREAT day at the OCFA.
Pipe dream, Turner!! PIPE DREAM!!!
Well that's about it for now. Working on the closing production for a major band back in Illinois, and I'll get that posted up. In case anyone cares, I figured out what the sound issue was that I had with my previous clips of drill design. Had to do with the bit rate of the MP3 that I was using. It usually comes in 128 bit rate. I have to UPgrade that bit rate to 192 for my animation program to "hear it" so I can synch the music and the movement. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh...I get it.
NOT.
WTF is a bit rate?
See, I come from the days of turning on an amp, turning on a record player, dropping a needle, and OUT COMES THE FREAKIN' MUSIC. Now you have to have an AA in Computer Science to run your life anymore.
Ain't that the truth. Alright...that's about it. Oh hey....one more thing. You feeling adventurous? Go to my Facebook account...
http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=657885846
It's like Myspace....but for adults. It's actually pretty cool. Sort of addicting. In a strange sort of way. I actually found my very first girlfriend who now works and lives in England of all places. Small world.
Alright...I'm out. You should be to.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
And then I grew up....
And this is just a real fast snippet of my opening announcement for the Kingsmen Alumni Corps at the Rose Bowl in the summer of 2007...just a tad better...
Me announcing...
This is back in 1989. I had just been hired as THE marching instructor for the Arcadia High Apache Marching Band. Dean Elder, who was the drill designer for VK back in 1985, wrote the drill. And this video clip I accidentally found on YouTube plays a very nervous Ryan H. Turner doing the opening announcement for Arcadia.
BOY I SUCKED!!!
BOY I SUCKED!!!
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Here's more drill...
Well--the sound came over, albeit BARELY--there's something wrong. But anyway, for you marching band geeks and drum corps dorks, here's my 2nd drill of the season--also posted on YouTube under my VKDM8687 pseudonym.
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