I can't think of a title for this entry...

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA! I can't stand trying to think of a title. I hate that. So, I'm just going to type and hopefully something will come to mind.

This past weekend after a week or two of starting to get my chops back, I played trombone three seperate times. On Friday night, I played a trombone solo I adapted from a Chip Davis/Mannheim Steamroller arrangement of "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" for a church Christmas party. It went over VERY VERY well. I then met up with the Onyx Drum and Bugle Corps of Yorba Linda and hung with them for about 2 hours playing Christmas carols for the people walking around in the Eagle Hills development of Brea (side note--VERY VERY cool neighborhood of simply over the top Christmas decorations--you should go!). We were loud. Then, I went to a party over in Corona Hills in the ritzy richy rich area and played the same "Emmanuel" solo for a party...full of...MUSICIANS!!! Yeah...THAT was fun. I knew wasn't doing too hot when I heard half way through my solo a guy in the back do that kind of cough where it serves NO purpose other than to say, "OK--you've had your chance. Now sit down you amateur." Not my best performance in the world.

Can I tell you a little something? I CAN!?!?! Great.

I don't like Christmas very much.

GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?

Yeah, I don't. Wanna know why? Because I'm a very very very complicated man, that while I may be goofy and whimsical or whatever on the outside, I grit my teeth on the inside during this time of year. It has nothing to do with the SPIRITUAL elements of this season. It's just everything else. I would hope that I could get this figured out, but I can't. I was in a REAL REAL serious funk on Monday. I mean--that sort of funk I ain't felt in a long time. It's a combination of missing my mom, longing for my past, remembering those GREAT Christmas' I used to have...and wondering why everything NOWADAYS is so damn complicated. You worry about getting the right gifts, you worry about getting the gift in the first place, you worry about the nutcases that would STEAL your gifts as much as look at you, you worry about the traffic, you worry about making your way to parties, you worry about the decorations, about wrapping the gifts, about whether your own kids are getting the right message about Christmas in the first dang place but you're too wrapped up in your own stresses of work and whatever else to be able to think clearly...arrrrrrrgh. Sorry. I'm a little on RANT mode right now.

I guess I got out of my funk a little today because I, along with the secretary for the Command Center, went and picked up about 300 pounds of donated toys from the north and west OCFA stations to take them down to El Toro Marine Base for the Spark of Love Toy Drive. It was nice to see the generosity of people. If you saw me YESTERDAY however, I would have told you that Orange County is full of the biggest bunch of self-righteous and selfish inbred rat bastards--because Spark of Love was almost 200,000 TOYS SHORT OF THEIR GOAL to get toys out to the needy. 200K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Give me a FREAKIN' BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But apparently there was some "media blitz" put out, and the stations were all overwhelmed with stuff. So it felt good to do what LITTLE I could do to help. Nyleen called me and told me she was taking stuff that SHE had gone out and bought and was going to take it to the fire station for Brea Fire Dept who is also doing Spark of Love. Made me feel good. Or at least better.

I guess the bottom line is that I look around and see myself surrounded in Orange County by PLENTY. I mean...PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTY. We are a VERY well-to-do society or culture or whatever you want to call it. But the price that's paid is that I find myself and my family getting "caught up" in the WRONG spirit of Christmas. And it's not so much that I want to sit with a Bible on my lap and read the Christmas story over and over--that's not what I'm saying. But on the other hand...

Can life just slow the hell down for a bit, please????