It's supposed to MELT away...that's what they said!!!

One of the BIGGEST disappointments of losing weight and working out and trying to be at least SEMI-conscious of what you're eating is to get on the scale and look down, and you're NOT going anywhere. It really sucks. It's disheartening. It can really tear into your ability to maintain that motivation that gets your fat ass up at 0430hrs and on the road to torture and pain--all self-inflicted--for about an hour every morning. I did this bad thing--getting on the scale--last week. And I felt that old feeling come rushing back, where I wanted to go find the nearest gallon of Dreyer's Cookies and Cream and make shake after shake after shake and sit on the couch and watch TV. But THIS time...somewhere...somehow...I said, at least in my mind, "NOOOOOOO!!! I am NOT going to do this crap!!!!" And here I am...a week later...and I'm happy to report not one but two amazing things.

#1. I try to "report" to Nyleen how good it is to be working out again, because I want to make sure she supports me. In regards to working out, she's been very supportive as long as I'm not killing myself or hurting myself which I tend to do because I can get enthusiastic to the point of stupidity. In any event, last night, as I was unloading groceries I was telling her about my workout yesterday, and joked about the fact that it was a MAN that noticed me losing weight first. It would have been nice if it was a chick--and she laughed, and then said, "Well, I actually do notice it myself. I can actually see your cheek bones on your face." I actually looked at my wife there for a minute and felt pretty dang proud of myself and was feeling those warm fuzzies you feel...then...after a slight pause, she looked down at my belly and said, "But it would be nice if you'd start losing it there, fat boy!!!" DANG!!!!!!!!! Got me again!!! Nice one. We shared a good laugh...sort of. I didn't let her see me cry. LOL!

#2. Second amazing thing is a two-for-one amazing thing. On Sunday, I wore a new shirt and tie to church. That's not amazing...what IS amazing, is that I wore a pair of 42 black slacks that I haven't put on for, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...about 4 years. And no...these weren't those cheater pants that have that elastic deal where you can be a tub'o lard and say "But I wear 36 inch pants"....yeah...because they expand to like 96 inches. Now--I'm not saying I'm all svelte, because I'm not. But to actually close the clasp on the 42's was reassuring. The fact that they came up over my rump was even more amazing.

Had good advice given to me today by a fellow supervisor. She said don't look at the scale--just judge what you can wear. And you know--truth be told, I have these heavy duty wooden hangers, the kind you can put suits on. Well, I have all my "Docker" and slack type pants on those...but I have one hanger for 44's. One for 42's. And then one for 40's. And one for 38's. SWEAR. I know...it's wacky. But I just torture myself a little by saying "Look how far you've come, fart knocker." Sort of bagging on myself whilst motivating myself at the same time. But yeah...my goal...humble as it may be...to get into those 40's. I only kept one pair of 38's. Don't know if I will ever be able to put THOSE on.

But then again...Hell MAY indeed freeze over.

My little emotional attachment to food that I've grown to understand about myself over the last year or so...I know where it comes from. So I'll leave you with a teaser to get you to come back to this stupid blog...you get to know what drives Ryan and food.

Other than the fact I call myself a musician. And you know how THEY are about food.