Thursday, August 24, 2006
A truly sad day...
There have been times over the past few years that within the music business people have passed away. For instance, one person in my own life, Ron Hoar, died and it was quite a blow. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get out of work to get to his service. But most have never heard of Ron Hoar. A GIANT in music education here in southern California. Anyway--many have passed away seemingly recently, both famous and not so famous...but none hit me in the heart like what happened today. I was driving to an appointment today when KFI radio announced during their half hour news break that Maynard Ferguson had passed away last night. That was really really sad...and it hit me in the heart. I grew up listening to Maynard, being a "Fanaddict" and a member of his fan club, and following him religiously all over southern California. I'll type more later but something is wrong with this interface and I can't make a new paragraph...bye for now.
Friday, August 11, 2006
Press box report
I'm actually sitting in the pressbox, using John Donovan's computer, and watching DCI semi finals...technology. Amazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzing ain't it? Having fun...feeling a little sad due to some memories associated with Camp Randall Stadium. I'll explain that later in my blog maybe.
Anyway...I'm alive.
Anyway...I'm alive.
Check in from Madison...
Having a great time...I overdosed on Drum Corps yesterday. All is well. The Top 12 are PHENOMENAL. Absolutely unbeliveable. And IMPULSE WON DIVISION III by OVER a point. GOOD JOB!!!
Pacific Crest...sigh...they were DEFINITELY robbed, but little ol' me thinks they need a style update...a new vision...and...
RYAN H. TURNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The drill.............AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!
Sorry...my distaste for over-priced mediocre drill CONTINUES to grow.
Pacific Crest...sigh...they were DEFINITELY robbed, but little ol' me thinks they need a style update...a new vision...and...
RYAN H. TURNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The drill.............AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!
Sorry...my distaste for over-priced mediocre drill CONTINUES to grow.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
I'm about to say something I've NEVER said before...
...and it's going to blow your minds. Really. It blows my mind just THINKING about it much less about ready to publish this. OK...I got to get myself set here. Feet on the floor. Deep breath. OK. Here it goes. Are you ready?? OK...
Today, I actually had a GREAT time at the California DMV office in Fullerton.
WHOA!!!
I SAID IT!!! WHOA!!!
So here's the deal. I set up, via ON LINE an appointment for today to renew my license. The website was fairly easy to navigate, and it was easy to set up the actual appointment. My appointment assigned to me was 12:45pm today. Now--I had to leave work early today and take some personal time to take care of this and about 10 MILLION other things (thanks boss for letting me go!!! HE READS THIS BLOG FOR GOD'S SAKES!!!). Anyway--I go straight from work to the DMV office, get out of my car, and saunter over to the front door. I checked out the time I got into line, and it was 12:31. Cool. PLENTY of time. I noticed as the line moved moderately fast that the receptionist was NOT pleased with her job, not pleased with the clientle', and NOT pleased with the guy right in front of me that was the teen age equivalent of...well, no other way to put it...an IDIOT. Complete. And utter. I was mildly amused as I could tell the receptionist was condescendingly amused with the putz, but at the same time, just wanted him to leave her domain quickly. I came up to the desk. Now it was my turn. GULP!
"Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeext", just like you'd hear by some annoyed receptionist on TV.
"I'm here to renew my license."
"Do you have an appointment?"
"Yes."
"Do you have your confirmation number?"
"Yes" as I handed it to her.
Glancing at it, and then looking up at my beamingly yet slightly chubby face, she smiled BIG time at me and said, "Those were the right answers." Handing me my ticket to move along, she said, "And you have a great day."
WOW!! So I quickly move over to a wall mounted desk type thing to fill out my DL-44 application. I had barely begun when the computer generated loud speaker husky female voice said, breathlessly, "Mr. Turner, please COME here." No no no...it said, "F305, please go to window 28." That was me. I had been standing there about 1 minute. DAMN THESE PEOPLE!!! They're fricken efficient.
So I walk up window 28 to find a very nice older Japanese man wearing a "Solidarity" shirt (something union related) sitting there, and I said, "Hey how ya' doin???" He looked up at me as any state worker would with a look of "Are you about to kill me?" to the realization that I was just a harmless goofball, and then the look of "Boy, you ARE an idiot." No, actually he smiled back and said "Cut the chit chat, what the hell do you want???" So I handed him my work, he mumbled something, and I said, "I'm sorry, I'm only 40 but my hearing really sucks in noisy environments (because in reality--it really does), what was that you said."
"T W E NNNNNNN TY SIX D O LLLLLLLLLLLLLL A R S P L E A S E ! ! ! ! "
Grrrr...come on. I said I was hard of hearing, not retarded. But he did it with a sly smile on his face, and I'm thinking to myself, "Ok, so I won't launch over this barrier between you and me and pound your head into the desk. You're being a smarty pants." Oh...HE WAS. He proved it later.
After money changed hands and the deal was set, he said, "Meet me at window 32 so I can see just how blind you are." LOL...hahahaha...very funny mother....sorry. Lost myself there for minute.
Now, the walk to window 32 was CONSIDERABLY longer than HIS walk to window 32. I think there's some kind of worm hole between his desk and window 32. I had to bob and weave my way around people and around a corner and then another corner, and BAM! There he was, looking all bored waiting for me. He really was a live one. He says...
"OK--with your glasses on, read line #3."
"I W X D E"
"Good, cover your right eye and read line #4."
"G B C D E"
"Alright, now cover your left eye and read line #5, lucky."
"U V C D R"
"GOOD JOB!!! Now cover your right eye again and read line #6."
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, there is no line #6."
"GOOOOOOOOOOD JOB!!! You passed the test. If you had said 'I don't SEE line #6', I would have failed your ass." Now I'm just ROLLING on the floor laughing my ass off. He was funny.
So I went back to his window, sealed the deal, went to the camera lady, got my picture taken, and then, walked out the door I came in....at 12:42.
12:42.
I was 2 minutes AHEAD of my scheduled appointment time.
So I humbly bow in the direction of the DMV and thank you for whatever efficiency classes you guys have been going to and appreciate the humor and good naturedness of the employees I dealt with. Because I know the DMV is where the dregs of society like to hang out. It's a non-glamourous job. But I had a great time.
No more blogging until Monday or Tuesday--I am OUT of here for a vacation to Tahoe! CIAO!!!
Today, I actually had a GREAT time at the California DMV office in Fullerton.
WHOA!!!
I SAID IT!!! WHOA!!!
So here's the deal. I set up, via ON LINE an appointment for today to renew my license. The website was fairly easy to navigate, and it was easy to set up the actual appointment. My appointment assigned to me was 12:45pm today. Now--I had to leave work early today and take some personal time to take care of this and about 10 MILLION other things (thanks boss for letting me go!!! HE READS THIS BLOG FOR GOD'S SAKES!!!). Anyway--I go straight from work to the DMV office, get out of my car, and saunter over to the front door. I checked out the time I got into line, and it was 12:31. Cool. PLENTY of time. I noticed as the line moved moderately fast that the receptionist was NOT pleased with her job, not pleased with the clientle', and NOT pleased with the guy right in front of me that was the teen age equivalent of...well, no other way to put it...an IDIOT. Complete. And utter. I was mildly amused as I could tell the receptionist was condescendingly amused with the putz, but at the same time, just wanted him to leave her domain quickly. I came up to the desk. Now it was my turn. GULP!
"Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeext", just like you'd hear by some annoyed receptionist on TV.
"I'm here to renew my license."
"Do you have an appointment?"
"Yes."
"Do you have your confirmation number?"
"Yes" as I handed it to her.
Glancing at it, and then looking up at my beamingly yet slightly chubby face, she smiled BIG time at me and said, "Those were the right answers." Handing me my ticket to move along, she said, "And you have a great day."
WOW!! So I quickly move over to a wall mounted desk type thing to fill out my DL-44 application. I had barely begun when the computer generated loud speaker husky female voice said, breathlessly, "Mr. Turner, please COME here." No no no...it said, "F305, please go to window 28." That was me. I had been standing there about 1 minute. DAMN THESE PEOPLE!!! They're fricken efficient.
So I walk up window 28 to find a very nice older Japanese man wearing a "Solidarity" shirt (something union related) sitting there, and I said, "Hey how ya' doin???" He looked up at me as any state worker would with a look of "Are you about to kill me?" to the realization that I was just a harmless goofball, and then the look of "Boy, you ARE an idiot." No, actually he smiled back and said "Cut the chit chat, what the hell do you want???" So I handed him my work, he mumbled something, and I said, "I'm sorry, I'm only 40 but my hearing really sucks in noisy environments (because in reality--it really does), what was that you said."
"T W E NNNNNNN TY SIX D O LLLLLLLLLLLLLL A R S P L E A S E ! ! ! ! "
Grrrr...come on. I said I was hard of hearing, not retarded. But he did it with a sly smile on his face, and I'm thinking to myself, "Ok, so I won't launch over this barrier between you and me and pound your head into the desk. You're being a smarty pants." Oh...HE WAS. He proved it later.
After money changed hands and the deal was set, he said, "Meet me at window 32 so I can see just how blind you are." LOL...hahahaha...very funny mother....sorry. Lost myself there for minute.
Now, the walk to window 32 was CONSIDERABLY longer than HIS walk to window 32. I think there's some kind of worm hole between his desk and window 32. I had to bob and weave my way around people and around a corner and then another corner, and BAM! There he was, looking all bored waiting for me. He really was a live one. He says...
"OK--with your glasses on, read line #3."
"I W X D E"
"Good, cover your right eye and read line #4."
"G B C D E"
"Alright, now cover your left eye and read line #5, lucky."
"U V C D R"
"GOOD JOB!!! Now cover your right eye again and read line #6."
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, there is no line #6."
"GOOOOOOOOOOD JOB!!! You passed the test. If you had said 'I don't SEE line #6', I would have failed your ass." Now I'm just ROLLING on the floor laughing my ass off. He was funny.
So I went back to his window, sealed the deal, went to the camera lady, got my picture taken, and then, walked out the door I came in....at 12:42.
12:42.
I was 2 minutes AHEAD of my scheduled appointment time.
So I humbly bow in the direction of the DMV and thank you for whatever efficiency classes you guys have been going to and appreciate the humor and good naturedness of the employees I dealt with. Because I know the DMV is where the dregs of society like to hang out. It's a non-glamourous job. But I had a great time.
No more blogging until Monday or Tuesday--I am OUT of here for a vacation to Tahoe! CIAO!!!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Gooooooooood GRIEF...it's overwhelming this thing called corps
You know...I'm just sitting here at my computer speechless. Really. SPEECHLESS. I guess when you get to my age (as I pop my false teeth in), you tend to get a little reminiscent of time that has gone by, and you remember things, you romanticize things, you embellish a little hear and a little there ("The fish was THIS big!"), you tend to forget (or want to forget) that bad things...well...here...just read the following text. This is a cut and paste job of something I put over in the member's only section of the Kingsmen Alumni Discussion Board--and since I'm the author of it...I can place it where I want!! :-) Anyway...describes the feelings this morning...
Just a quick word from "The Mouth"...uh, sorry, I mean..."The Voice"... A little birdy called me late last night and left a message for me on my cell. The message was simple, if not slightly cryptic...it went like this... "Hey Ryan, you won't believe who I sat next to at rehearsal tonight at Western HS. I'll give you a hint. Ready? We got something you're REALLY gonna like!! BYE!" Click.
That was it.
Now, some of you if not ALL of you are probably scratching your head wondering A)who the heck left such a weird message, and B) what the heck WAS that weird message? Trust me, when I heard that message, I audibly GASPED. So loudly in fact that my wife, who was in another room, called out, "Ryan are you OK?" I yelled back, "Oh yeah...I just had another drum corps moment." Something I have affectionately referred to in my 11 years of wedded bliss (COUGH!!!) when I just don't feel like explaining the back-story to something that The Warden wouldn't appreciate in the first place. Right? It's a "why bother" moment. Non-drum corps people just don't get some things that are important to us. But we do.
TURNER, GET TO THE DANG POINT!!!
Folks--if you don't know this, I was drum major of VK in 1986 and 1987. They were some of the best years of my life, especially 1987. The 1987 show lended itself to me more of a "fun" style for me to conduct, and when I say fun, I mean not standing ramrod straight and conducting with just my forearms, but rather, using lots of how I refer to as "body English" and getting the crowd involved and what not. As a matter of fact, if memory serves me correctly, I scared the crap out of the staff at semi finals by turning around to the crowd at Camp Randall as the baritone section started their soli section of "California Girls", and I did what an self-respecting VK drum major SHOULD have done...and that's get 40,000 people to clap....AND ON 2 AND 4 OF COURSE! Permission was granted for that to occur at finals--and I did it. But there's something important to know about my antics in 1987 as drum major.
Outside of the big influence that Greg Clarke had on me as a performer, there was another influence that few knew of. I kept this near and dear to me, and always regarded this person as truly an icon of what, at least in MY eyes, a drum major SHOULD be--commanding, enthusiastic, entertaining, and a musician. I found that person one day at a corps show way back in 1982. He was the drum major of the Freelancers at the time. And then, I saw him again in 1983, but this time, it was by accident. While attending "Boys State", an American Legion sponsored "political camp" at Cal State Sacramento, and being infinitely BORED to tears with the camp precedings, I ventured off to find the source of this GREAT music I was hearing. And lo and behold, it was the Freelancers rehearsing. And there was that same drum major I remembered from a year before. This time--he actually looked over at me and waved. You see--this person, without even knowing it, influenced me in ways that wouldn't see any results of for 4 more years, and I guess indirectly, everything since then in my participation in whatever way I've had in the world of band/corps/guard. And it's when a person like this who shows BY EXAMPLE to another of what CAN be done, and in turn, influences another to strive for something better, it's pretty special. And it stays with you a long time. A REALLY long time.
Well--the point of this is that that cryptic message above told me that none other than Carl Allison has joined the KAC. Carl Allison yelled the above "We've got something you're really going to like" at the crowd at 1983 finals during Freelancers' closer, "Even Now". Carl Allison, out of all the drum majors in 1982 and 1983 (and out of almost all the drum majors in drum corps SINCE then might I add) with the exception of Mike Zapanta from SCV, was very, very highly regarded. So unbelievable admired. Both by competitors...fans...and geeky band nerds like myself, who aspired to be what HE WAS some day. I never met the man except for the wave in 1983. But I was his fan. And he never knew what he did for me by just being HIM. And I don't know if there's a greater compliment that I can give.
There's not much else to say but thank you Carl. And it will be a understatement of the century to say that I will be honored to stand in the same baritone line with you, much less in the same ROOM with you. I don't even know if he reads this board...but anyway--just had to get that off my chest.
The KAC keeps rocking...unbelievable what this venture has done. And I sincerely mean what I say...you have a legend in your midst.
There you have it. Just an incredible time in my life. Full circles and all that.
Just a quick word from "The Mouth"...uh, sorry, I mean..."The Voice"... A little birdy called me late last night and left a message for me on my cell. The message was simple, if not slightly cryptic...it went like this... "Hey Ryan, you won't believe who I sat next to at rehearsal tonight at Western HS. I'll give you a hint. Ready? We got something you're REALLY gonna like!! BYE!" Click.
That was it.
Now, some of you if not ALL of you are probably scratching your head wondering A)who the heck left such a weird message, and B) what the heck WAS that weird message? Trust me, when I heard that message, I audibly GASPED. So loudly in fact that my wife, who was in another room, called out, "Ryan are you OK?" I yelled back, "Oh yeah...I just had another drum corps moment." Something I have affectionately referred to in my 11 years of wedded bliss (COUGH!!!) when I just don't feel like explaining the back-story to something that The Warden wouldn't appreciate in the first place. Right? It's a "why bother" moment. Non-drum corps people just don't get some things that are important to us. But we do.
TURNER, GET TO THE DANG POINT!!!
Folks--if you don't know this, I was drum major of VK in 1986 and 1987. They were some of the best years of my life, especially 1987. The 1987 show lended itself to me more of a "fun" style for me to conduct, and when I say fun, I mean not standing ramrod straight and conducting with just my forearms, but rather, using lots of how I refer to as "body English" and getting the crowd involved and what not. As a matter of fact, if memory serves me correctly, I scared the crap out of the staff at semi finals by turning around to the crowd at Camp Randall as the baritone section started their soli section of "California Girls", and I did what an self-respecting VK drum major SHOULD have done...and that's get 40,000 people to clap....AND ON 2 AND 4 OF COURSE! Permission was granted for that to occur at finals--and I did it. But there's something important to know about my antics in 1987 as drum major.
Outside of the big influence that Greg Clarke had on me as a performer, there was another influence that few knew of. I kept this near and dear to me, and always regarded this person as truly an icon of what, at least in MY eyes, a drum major SHOULD be--commanding, enthusiastic, entertaining, and a musician. I found that person one day at a corps show way back in 1982. He was the drum major of the Freelancers at the time. And then, I saw him again in 1983, but this time, it was by accident. While attending "Boys State", an American Legion sponsored "political camp" at Cal State Sacramento, and being infinitely BORED to tears with the camp precedings, I ventured off to find the source of this GREAT music I was hearing. And lo and behold, it was the Freelancers rehearsing. And there was that same drum major I remembered from a year before. This time--he actually looked over at me and waved. You see--this person, without even knowing it, influenced me in ways that wouldn't see any results of for 4 more years, and I guess indirectly, everything since then in my participation in whatever way I've had in the world of band/corps/guard. And it's when a person like this who shows BY EXAMPLE to another of what CAN be done, and in turn, influences another to strive for something better, it's pretty special. And it stays with you a long time. A REALLY long time.
Well--the point of this is that that cryptic message above told me that none other than Carl Allison has joined the KAC. Carl Allison yelled the above "We've got something you're really going to like" at the crowd at 1983 finals during Freelancers' closer, "Even Now". Carl Allison, out of all the drum majors in 1982 and 1983 (and out of almost all the drum majors in drum corps SINCE then might I add) with the exception of Mike Zapanta from SCV, was very, very highly regarded. So unbelievable admired. Both by competitors...fans...and geeky band nerds like myself, who aspired to be what HE WAS some day. I never met the man except for the wave in 1983. But I was his fan. And he never knew what he did for me by just being HIM. And I don't know if there's a greater compliment that I can give.
There's not much else to say but thank you Carl. And it will be a understatement of the century to say that I will be honored to stand in the same baritone line with you, much less in the same ROOM with you. I don't even know if he reads this board...but anyway--just had to get that off my chest.
The KAC keeps rocking...unbelievable what this venture has done. And I sincerely mean what I say...you have a legend in your midst.
There you have it. Just an incredible time in my life. Full circles and all that.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
One more thing about this Madison trip...
I just realized...and far be it from me to COMPLAIN about this because I'm not...I'm just stating something for the record. But after this trip and all the costs associated with said trip, including but not limited to, airfare, car rental, mandatory dinner for friend in Milwaukee, mandatory OCFA shirt as gift to friend in Milwaukee, mandatory dinner (or at least a diet Coke for AT LEAST John Donovan, Jeff Ream, Cozy Chops, Fran "THE EAST COAST ANSWER TO THE WEST COAST VOICE" Haring, and I'm sure thousands of others), tickets, food, housing, food, program, food, maybe a shirt or a hat or 300, more food, and.....uh....food, well...it's finally starting to dawn on me.
I'M GOING TO BE POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!
Ahhhhhhh...I grew up poor...had a bit of success in the early 90's...got married...been poor ever since. What's new?
AT LEAST I GET TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I mention I'm about as excited about a trip as I've been in a long time? I haven't? Well...just a reminder...
I'M JAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZED...becoming poor or not.
I'M GOING TO BE POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!
Ahhhhhhh...I grew up poor...had a bit of success in the early 90's...got married...been poor ever since. What's new?
AT LEAST I GET TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I mention I'm about as excited about a trip as I've been in a long time? I haven't? Well...just a reminder...
I'M JAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZED...becoming poor or not.
For crimeny sakes...can it get much better?
What planets are lining up NOW in my life?
My trip to Madison just got exponentially better.
CRIMENY!!!
(Side note--my dad used to say "Crimeny" all the time when I was a little kid. Now that I'm thinking about it, my parents used to say some very strange things. I'm wondering...were they REALLY human?? Like my dad...when he'd get mad, like, REALLY mad, he'd yell "JUDAS PRIEST!!!!" Dad...I'm 40 now...and look back and wonder what exactly were you meaning? And my mom...she used to call me "Rydeeboo", "Cutey Patootey Pie Pot Pumpkin Kid". But the creme' de la creme' of "WTF DID YOU JUST SAY?" sayings she used to spew out in times of great stress: "Oh for crying out loud in the night!!!" Mom--I know you've been gone since 1994, but really...WTF???)
Anyway--what was I saying? Yeah...Madison. If you all haven't been to this website, go there now. This one. No...THIS ONE. It's Drum Corps Planet. And the publisher/owner John Donovan...well...I'll just say he's a great guy, and he's taken it upon himself to make Ryan H. Turner's homecoming to Madison just a whole lot better than it was. And it was already stellar. Now if I can get his son a job at OCFA, I'll be REALLY cool!!! :-)
Speaking of OCFA, we're hiring...go HERE to see if you really want a chance to WORK FOR ME.
Now...I have some bad news. Actually, not bad news as much as extremely disappointing. Maybe disappointing isn't accurate. I'll go for infuriating. I ate at Pick Up Stix today with my boss. We were sitting have a nice discussion over hot steaming plates of Kung Pao Chicken the joys and challenges of being a supervisor/manager, when we noticed a mom and her 2 kids, about 4 and 2 get up from their table. She was busy yapping on a cell phone, because as you are well aware, it's a citizenship requirement of females in Orange County to have a cell phone mushed in their ear talking at the top of their lungs for at least 35% of their time out in public. While she was yapping on her cell, she'd yell out various commands and admonitions to her kids, like, "STOP!!!" or "STOP!!!" or a really interesting one..."HEY!! STOP!!!!!!!!" After a few...oh I don't know...THOUSAND times of hearing that, she and her brood were ready to take a hike. THANK GOD!!! But what was disappointing beyond the fact that she was clueless in general...
It was the mess she left. And dang if I didn't bring my cell phone, or I would have taken a picture of the ABSOLUTE mess that was left behind. Rice all over the floor and table, sauces everywhere, all three plates left, floor COVERED with napkins...wait, make that USED napkins...I mean...truly. It was UNBELIEVABLE. And there she goes, waltzing out of the Pick Up Stix, two kids in tow, CONTINUING to yap on the phone, COMPLETELY oblivious to what was going on around her. As I watched her leave, I looked at those two cute kids, and gave them about until they turned 5 or 6 before they would stop being cute, and turn into the holy TERRORS that their IDIOTIC mother was turning them into.
I'm no saint, and I may not be the best father in the world. But I will BE DAMNED if my kids EVER leave a mess like that, or worse...MUCH WORSE...I leave a mess like that and by my actions PROVE to them that yeah, it's ok to be a f----- pig and leave it for the "hired help" to pick up. And you WONDER WHY WE'RE APAF---INGTHETIC about our illegal immigration issues.
If it wasn't for my roots and my loyalty to the OCFA, I would leave this state behind me in the biggest damn dust cloud I could produce as I burned rubber to get the HELL OUT.
That's it...a nice post that just turned ugly...well, what the hell did you expect? ROSES?!!
Now get outta here until next time...
F------ California.
And Mel Gibson--can I make a suggestion, while I've got "California Dreamin' " on my mind? Just a little one. My wife does NOT watch the news, nor does she listen to the radio (although she used to be a fan of Bill Handel, and rightly so, to stay married to me), so, outside of the tidbits of crap she gets from AOL News (I can't believe I just combined the terms AOL and NEWS together--what a farce!), she's probably not aware of EVERYTHING that's transpired in your life over the last couple of days. And it's a good thing. She adores you. She thinks that perhaps if you were to walk on water, she'd give up that whole Mormon thing and come running to your feet. But you...well, from one man to another...can I make some suggestions?
1. SHUT THE HELL UP!!! No one CARES about your apology, and it's insincere anyway. JUST SHUT UP. No...REALLY. SHUT UP!
2. When you're married, have 7 kids, are a major proponet of the Catholic faith, and make one of the highest grossing movies that disgustingly shows the brutality of the Crucifixion and claim to do this because it's a way to express your faith...you may want to think twice about being in a bar/nightclub place, having your picture taking while obviously hammered (by facial expression alone, not to mention the fact that I could smell the booze coming THROUGH THE INTERNET off of you through those pictures), and being in the company of several different younger women. Regardless of your purity in the matter when it comes to being uhhhh...how do I say...TRULY adulterous, you may want to consider the whole "I think I may be making a bad impression" aspect of this. I know a long time ago I didn't think that way--and something "innocent" has hounded me to this very DAY. So...I speak from experience (shut up Jon!).
3. When I notice the credits for movies today scrolling by, I notice lots and lots and lots of Jewish names. It's a well-known fact--Jews are BIG in Hollywood. And there's not a thing in the world wrong with that. As a matter of fact, I'd venture to guess a Jew or two helped YOU make some money in your life time, and I bet you returned the favor to them. So--here's suggestion #3. Read suggestion #1, and then insert the words "....about Jews" after it. Just SHUT THE HELL UP!!!
4. True REPENTANCE does NOT mean write a press release and apologizing for your psychological issues, which you basically said you had to go "search" out. Again, read #1, and then realize that repentance takes ACTION, and if there's EVER a religious group on the face of the earth that EXPECTS ACTION...it would be the very people you were bad mouthing. Read #1, and then, I would suggest converting. That's about all you can do right now to make it even seem like you're seriously sorry. Throwing words around will only tell the normal everyday Jew...that you're full of shit.
5. For the LOVE OF GOD, get your shit together or my wife will become catatonic and our family will fail. Please.
That's all on this expanded version of this post...now GET OUTTA HERE!!! :-)
My trip to Madison just got exponentially better.
CRIMENY!!!
(Side note--my dad used to say "Crimeny" all the time when I was a little kid. Now that I'm thinking about it, my parents used to say some very strange things. I'm wondering...were they REALLY human?? Like my dad...when he'd get mad, like, REALLY mad, he'd yell "JUDAS PRIEST!!!!" Dad...I'm 40 now...and look back and wonder what exactly were you meaning? And my mom...she used to call me "Rydeeboo", "Cutey Patootey Pie Pot Pumpkin Kid". But the creme' de la creme' of "WTF DID YOU JUST SAY?" sayings she used to spew out in times of great stress: "Oh for crying out loud in the night!!!" Mom--I know you've been gone since 1994, but really...WTF???)
Anyway--what was I saying? Yeah...Madison. If you all haven't been to this website, go there now. This one. No...THIS ONE. It's Drum Corps Planet. And the publisher/owner John Donovan...well...I'll just say he's a great guy, and he's taken it upon himself to make Ryan H. Turner's homecoming to Madison just a whole lot better than it was. And it was already stellar. Now if I can get his son a job at OCFA, I'll be REALLY cool!!! :-)
Speaking of OCFA, we're hiring...go HERE to see if you really want a chance to WORK FOR ME.
Now...I have some bad news. Actually, not bad news as much as extremely disappointing. Maybe disappointing isn't accurate. I'll go for infuriating. I ate at Pick Up Stix today with my boss. We were sitting have a nice discussion over hot steaming plates of Kung Pao Chicken the joys and challenges of being a supervisor/manager, when we noticed a mom and her 2 kids, about 4 and 2 get up from their table. She was busy yapping on a cell phone, because as you are well aware, it's a citizenship requirement of females in Orange County to have a cell phone mushed in their ear talking at the top of their lungs for at least 35% of their time out in public. While she was yapping on her cell, she'd yell out various commands and admonitions to her kids, like, "STOP!!!" or "STOP!!!" or a really interesting one..."HEY!! STOP!!!!!!!!" After a few...oh I don't know...THOUSAND times of hearing that, she and her brood were ready to take a hike. THANK GOD!!! But what was disappointing beyond the fact that she was clueless in general...
It was the mess she left. And dang if I didn't bring my cell phone, or I would have taken a picture of the ABSOLUTE mess that was left behind. Rice all over the floor and table, sauces everywhere, all three plates left, floor COVERED with napkins...wait, make that USED napkins...I mean...truly. It was UNBELIEVABLE. And there she goes, waltzing out of the Pick Up Stix, two kids in tow, CONTINUING to yap on the phone, COMPLETELY oblivious to what was going on around her. As I watched her leave, I looked at those two cute kids, and gave them about until they turned 5 or 6 before they would stop being cute, and turn into the holy TERRORS that their IDIOTIC mother was turning them into.
I'm no saint, and I may not be the best father in the world. But I will BE DAMNED if my kids EVER leave a mess like that, or worse...MUCH WORSE...I leave a mess like that and by my actions PROVE to them that yeah, it's ok to be a f----- pig and leave it for the "hired help" to pick up. And you WONDER WHY WE'RE APAF---INGTHETIC about our illegal immigration issues.
If it wasn't for my roots and my loyalty to the OCFA, I would leave this state behind me in the biggest damn dust cloud I could produce as I burned rubber to get the HELL OUT.
That's it...a nice post that just turned ugly...well, what the hell did you expect? ROSES?!!
Now get outta here until next time...
F------ California.
And Mel Gibson--can I make a suggestion, while I've got "California Dreamin' " on my mind? Just a little one. My wife does NOT watch the news, nor does she listen to the radio (although she used to be a fan of Bill Handel, and rightly so, to stay married to me), so, outside of the tidbits of crap she gets from AOL News (I can't believe I just combined the terms AOL and NEWS together--what a farce!), she's probably not aware of EVERYTHING that's transpired in your life over the last couple of days. And it's a good thing. She adores you. She thinks that perhaps if you were to walk on water, she'd give up that whole Mormon thing and come running to your feet. But you...well, from one man to another...can I make some suggestions?
1. SHUT THE HELL UP!!! No one CARES about your apology, and it's insincere anyway. JUST SHUT UP. No...REALLY. SHUT UP!
2. When you're married, have 7 kids, are a major proponet of the Catholic faith, and make one of the highest grossing movies that disgustingly shows the brutality of the Crucifixion and claim to do this because it's a way to express your faith...you may want to think twice about being in a bar/nightclub place, having your picture taking while obviously hammered (by facial expression alone, not to mention the fact that I could smell the booze coming THROUGH THE INTERNET off of you through those pictures), and being in the company of several different younger women. Regardless of your purity in the matter when it comes to being uhhhh...how do I say...TRULY adulterous, you may want to consider the whole "I think I may be making a bad impression" aspect of this. I know a long time ago I didn't think that way--and something "innocent" has hounded me to this very DAY. So...I speak from experience (shut up Jon!).
3. When I notice the credits for movies today scrolling by, I notice lots and lots and lots of Jewish names. It's a well-known fact--Jews are BIG in Hollywood. And there's not a thing in the world wrong with that. As a matter of fact, I'd venture to guess a Jew or two helped YOU make some money in your life time, and I bet you returned the favor to them. So--here's suggestion #3. Read suggestion #1, and then insert the words "....about Jews" after it. Just SHUT THE HELL UP!!!
4. True REPENTANCE does NOT mean write a press release and apologizing for your psychological issues, which you basically said you had to go "search" out. Again, read #1, and then realize that repentance takes ACTION, and if there's EVER a religious group on the face of the earth that EXPECTS ACTION...it would be the very people you were bad mouthing. Read #1, and then, I would suggest converting. That's about all you can do right now to make it even seem like you're seriously sorry. Throwing words around will only tell the normal everyday Jew...that you're full of shit.
5. For the LOVE OF GOD, get your shit together or my wife will become catatonic and our family will fail. Please.
That's all on this expanded version of this post...now GET OUTTA HERE!!! :-)
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