I'm about to say something I've NEVER said before...

...and it's going to blow your minds. Really. It blows my mind just THINKING about it much less about ready to publish this. OK...I got to get myself set here. Feet on the floor. Deep breath. OK. Here it goes. Are you ready?? OK...

Today, I actually had a GREAT time at the California DMV office in Fullerton.

WHOA!!!

I SAID IT!!! WHOA!!!

So here's the deal. I set up, via ON LINE an appointment for today to renew my license. The website was fairly easy to navigate, and it was easy to set up the actual appointment. My appointment assigned to me was 12:45pm today. Now--I had to leave work early today and take some personal time to take care of this and about 10 MILLION other things (thanks boss for letting me go!!! HE READS THIS BLOG FOR GOD'S SAKES!!!). Anyway--I go straight from work to the DMV office, get out of my car, and saunter over to the front door. I checked out the time I got into line, and it was 12:31. Cool. PLENTY of time. I noticed as the line moved moderately fast that the receptionist was NOT pleased with her job, not pleased with the clientle', and NOT pleased with the guy right in front of me that was the teen age equivalent of...well, no other way to put it...an IDIOT. Complete. And utter. I was mildly amused as I could tell the receptionist was condescendingly amused with the putz, but at the same time, just wanted him to leave her domain quickly. I came up to the desk. Now it was my turn. GULP!

"Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeext", just like you'd hear by some annoyed receptionist on TV.

"I'm here to renew my license."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Yes."

"Do you have your confirmation number?"

"Yes" as I handed it to her.

Glancing at it, and then looking up at my beamingly yet slightly chubby face, she smiled BIG time at me and said, "Those were the right answers." Handing me my ticket to move along, she said, "And you have a great day."

WOW!! So I quickly move over to a wall mounted desk type thing to fill out my DL-44 application. I had barely begun when the computer generated loud speaker husky female voice said, breathlessly, "Mr. Turner, please COME here." No no no...it said, "F305, please go to window 28." That was me. I had been standing there about 1 minute. DAMN THESE PEOPLE!!! They're fricken efficient.

So I walk up window 28 to find a very nice older Japanese man wearing a "Solidarity" shirt (something union related) sitting there, and I said, "Hey how ya' doin???" He looked up at me as any state worker would with a look of "Are you about to kill me?" to the realization that I was just a harmless goofball, and then the look of "Boy, you ARE an idiot." No, actually he smiled back and said "Cut the chit chat, what the hell do you want???" So I handed him my work, he mumbled something, and I said, "I'm sorry, I'm only 40 but my hearing really sucks in noisy environments (because in reality--it really does), what was that you said."

"T W E NNNNNNN TY SIX D O LLLLLLLLLLLLLL A R S P L E A S E ! ! ! ! "

Grrrr...come on. I said I was hard of hearing, not retarded. But he did it with a sly smile on his face, and I'm thinking to myself, "Ok, so I won't launch over this barrier between you and me and pound your head into the desk. You're being a smarty pants." Oh...HE WAS. He proved it later.

After money changed hands and the deal was set, he said, "Meet me at window 32 so I can see just how blind you are." LOL...hahahaha...very funny mother....sorry. Lost myself there for minute.

Now, the walk to window 32 was CONSIDERABLY longer than HIS walk to window 32. I think there's some kind of worm hole between his desk and window 32. I had to bob and weave my way around people and around a corner and then another corner, and BAM! There he was, looking all bored waiting for me. He really was a live one. He says...

"OK--with your glasses on, read line #3."

"I W X D E"

"Good, cover your right eye and read line #4."

"G B C D E"

"Alright, now cover your left eye and read line #5, lucky."

"U V C D R"

"GOOD JOB!!! Now cover your right eye again and read line #6."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, there is no line #6."

"GOOOOOOOOOOD JOB!!! You passed the test. If you had said 'I don't SEE line #6', I would have failed your ass." Now I'm just ROLLING on the floor laughing my ass off. He was funny.

So I went back to his window, sealed the deal, went to the camera lady, got my picture taken, and then, walked out the door I came in....at 12:42.

12:42.

I was 2 minutes AHEAD of my scheduled appointment time.

So I humbly bow in the direction of the DMV and thank you for whatever efficiency classes you guys have been going to and appreciate the humor and good naturedness of the employees I dealt with. Because I know the DMV is where the dregs of society like to hang out. It's a non-glamourous job. But I had a great time.

No more blogging until Monday or Tuesday--I am OUT of here for a vacation to Tahoe! CIAO!!!