Another milestone day...

These the days that are tough for dads. When your babies start to grow up. And start to shine in ways that you don't expect. There's a really really long story that centers around the apple of my eye, my 7-year old daughter Sarah...or Sarah Bearah as I affectionately started calling her. The story starts when she was born 2 months premature and only weighed just under 3 pounds, and spent the first month of her life in the NICU at St. Jude's in Fullerton. And how I wasn't even allowed to touch her for the first 2 weeks of her life unless I had gloves on. And how she had a brain bleed during her first week of life that almost necessitated brain surgery. And how instead of learning how to change her diapers and enjoy her at home, I had to do it everyday visiting a hospital. It was very very trying time. To say the least. Watching my 3 pound premature baby girl was enough to turn this big louse of a man into a complete and utter mass of whimpering.

Fast forward to today...she's 7 years old...she's in 2nd grade. She plays piano, sometimes scaring the crap out of me because she'll say "Hey daddy, does this sound ok?" and I look up, and she's playing 2 hand piano stuff LOOKING AT ME AND NOT THE KEYBOARD!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! You're 7!!! Knock off this Liberace showing off crap!! LOL!!! She's bright, she's intelligent, she's a sarcastic sass at times (which really chaps my hide because she's JUST like her mom!! Grrrrrr!!), she's unbelievably beautiful, and she's been through a ringer to start her life.

I got a call this morning from The Warden, telling me that today was the first time she was going to take the bus to school instead of mom schlepping her around. The Brea Unified School District finally decided to add a bus stop for us canyon dwellers, and today was the first day of service. As The Warden put it--"Sarah was so excited today. She ate breakfast with great speed, and got ready. And then, from the dining room she yelled, 'They're here, they're coming!!' And I told her go outside and wait for them!" Them being the neighborhood kids traveling in a "pack" to go to the bus stop.

We're really protective of Sarah. Not obnoxiously--we don't hover. But we are pretty careful about keeping an eye on her, keeping her safe, setting rules pretty clearly, having expectations, blah blah blah. So, this was a MAJOR step towards one, letting her have a more freedom, and two, LETTING GO A BIT. As my friend back in Illinois says, "TIME TO CUT THE UMBILICAL CORD!!" What he means is that sometimes as parents you just have to let go, and let life happen. Today--because I'm HERE at the OCFA, I missed this little milestone of letting her go. Bittersweet to say the least, but ultimately, happy for my "little girl". Apparently The Pack showed up, and she ran outside with her bookbag and lunch, and "got in line" with everyone and took off up the street to the bus stop. The Warden had to choke up back a tear (and so did I as she was telling me about this) and stifle the need to "supervise" the kids as they walked down the street. And the part that really hits me--where if you're not a dad you may not "get it"--but the part that really hit me was when my wife said, "And you should have seen her face. She was soooo proud of herself. She had that 'lips clamped smile' and she was looking out of the side of her eyes at me as she walked away." I know that sounds weird, but I know my daughter. And I know inside, she was a mix of elation that she was with "her people", and being a "grown up" by taking off to go catch a bus, but at the same time, it's hard not to think that maybe she was a tad bit scared. And that she was just glancing to make sure mom was still there.

Damn kids. They make my eyes leak.

Well done daughter.

Well done.