I can't think of a title for this entry...

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA! I can't stand trying to think of a title. I hate that. So, I'm just going to type and hopefully something will come to mind.

This past weekend after a week or two of starting to get my chops back, I played trombone three seperate times. On Friday night, I played a trombone solo I adapted from a Chip Davis/Mannheim Steamroller arrangement of "O Come, O Come Emmanuel" for a church Christmas party. It went over VERY VERY well. I then met up with the Onyx Drum and Bugle Corps of Yorba Linda and hung with them for about 2 hours playing Christmas carols for the people walking around in the Eagle Hills development of Brea (side note--VERY VERY cool neighborhood of simply over the top Christmas decorations--you should go!). We were loud. Then, I went to a party over in Corona Hills in the ritzy richy rich area and played the same "Emmanuel" solo for a party...full of...MUSICIANS!!! Yeah...THAT was fun. I knew wasn't doing too hot when I heard half way through my solo a guy in the back do that kind of cough where it serves NO purpose other than to say, "OK--you've had your chance. Now sit down you amateur." Not my best performance in the world.

Can I tell you a little something? I CAN!?!?! Great.

I don't like Christmas very much.

GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?

Yeah, I don't. Wanna know why? Because I'm a very very very complicated man, that while I may be goofy and whimsical or whatever on the outside, I grit my teeth on the inside during this time of year. It has nothing to do with the SPIRITUAL elements of this season. It's just everything else. I would hope that I could get this figured out, but I can't. I was in a REAL REAL serious funk on Monday. I mean--that sort of funk I ain't felt in a long time. It's a combination of missing my mom, longing for my past, remembering those GREAT Christmas' I used to have...and wondering why everything NOWADAYS is so damn complicated. You worry about getting the right gifts, you worry about getting the gift in the first place, you worry about the nutcases that would STEAL your gifts as much as look at you, you worry about the traffic, you worry about making your way to parties, you worry about the decorations, about wrapping the gifts, about whether your own kids are getting the right message about Christmas in the first dang place but you're too wrapped up in your own stresses of work and whatever else to be able to think clearly...arrrrrrrgh. Sorry. I'm a little on RANT mode right now.

I guess I got out of my funk a little today because I, along with the secretary for the Command Center, went and picked up about 300 pounds of donated toys from the north and west OCFA stations to take them down to El Toro Marine Base for the Spark of Love Toy Drive. It was nice to see the generosity of people. If you saw me YESTERDAY however, I would have told you that Orange County is full of the biggest bunch of self-righteous and selfish inbred rat bastards--because Spark of Love was almost 200,000 TOYS SHORT OF THEIR GOAL to get toys out to the needy. 200K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Give me a FREAKIN' BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But apparently there was some "media blitz" put out, and the stations were all overwhelmed with stuff. So it felt good to do what LITTLE I could do to help. Nyleen called me and told me she was taking stuff that SHE had gone out and bought and was going to take it to the fire station for Brea Fire Dept who is also doing Spark of Love. Made me feel good. Or at least better.

I guess the bottom line is that I look around and see myself surrounded in Orange County by PLENTY. I mean...PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNTY. We are a VERY well-to-do society or culture or whatever you want to call it. But the price that's paid is that I find myself and my family getting "caught up" in the WRONG spirit of Christmas. And it's not so much that I want to sit with a Bible on my lap and read the Christmas story over and over--that's not what I'm saying. But on the other hand...

Can life just slow the hell down for a bit, please????

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

This has been a shitty day, and I apologize for the swear word there. But shitty is what it is and I would be dishonest to call it anything else. How was it in this state of shittiness? Let me count the ways...

--Got up this morning EXTRA early on a SATURDAY that I DIDN'T have any marching band stuff to do because my KIDS (love my kids, love my kids, love my kids--must keep loving my kids) are on a different biological clock than their big lug of a dad. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...up I was at 0715hrs today fixing oatmeal, getting on line and chatting with one of my best buds in the whole world (Hi Sheldon!!), and uhhhh...yeah...just kind of chilling. The Warden wakes up, waddles out to the kitchen, sort of grumpy, and takes over child care. I feel that having a Rockstar in the morning is a good way to keep from slipping into a coma, however, it also made me feel like I should repave the driveway, install a new engine in my car, write 108 different drill design ideas for the first 30 seconds of Capital Sound's show, and scratch incessantly at that itchy spot on the side of my left knee. I channeled that energy effectively and proceeded to do my annual post-marching band office cleaning so I can get set up for Drum Corps Hell. This story is WAY TOO FREAKING LONG TURNER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry.

Must still be dealing with Rockstar poisoning. My day. That's right. Shitty.

Start cleaning office, than The Warden wants to go to our church so she could practice some Christmas dealybobs on the organ. Brought the kids as well, and let them ride bikes around the church parking lot. Begins to RAIN. A LOT!!! That wasn't fun. Get a phone call while my kids are dodging rain drops from a hereunto unidentified friend from another state that wanted to compare notes with me on a similar concern in the drum corps world (not Drum Corps World the news paper) and wanted to plan "some strategy" (which I cannot divulge at this time but the words "fraud", "killing the dreams of kids", and "deceit" were used in this phone call...A LOT...and I, with a nod towards my idol Lee Rudnicki, will CERTAINLY be turning the southern California drum corps scene on its ASS if what I think is happening IS happening...and I will HANDLE with great swiftness and prejudice...that's all for now on THAT). Drive The Warden to Kinko's for last minute copying. Drive around the unbelievably crowded parking lot looking for a spot to wait for her, only to find there WERE NONE, and those of us driving LOOKING for a spot were all (with the exception of me) crazed lunatics ready to kill for a spot. I picked The Warden up a little bit later, drove to the nearest El Pollo Loco because I had a freakin' JONES for a Chicken Verde Quesadilla--HOLY COW those are good--and drove home. I eat the food--actually had a nice lunch with the family around the table in our quaint little dining room. I become very tired...and decide to go to bed. Sleep like a man without sleep for weeks for 2 1/2 hours...God knows I needed it.

Nyleen's stomach, while I'm asleep, decides to make sure she pays dearly for the El Pollo Loco lunch and begins to cramp badly. Don't know what THAT was all about. But in between bouts of wanting to barf, she came up with the idea that we should go to the Mission Inn in Riverside and see all the pretty lights. Pretty lights? Mission Inn? How would you know about that? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh...I see. AOL told her it was one of the Top 10 places in America to see Christmas lights as they had over TWO MILLION strung up. TWO FREAKIN MILLION!?!?!?! Dang. THIS IS GOING TO BE GREAT.

We go pick up sister in law who is recovering from a horrible traffic accident several weeks ago (constant back pain thing), and hit the 91. Allow me to rant for a second. It's freaking Saturday night. It's about 7pm. And the traffic is JUST horrid. It is TIME for something to be done about that freeway. It's just STUPID. Anyway...it's raining and I'm cramped up in the back of my Sequoia because I wanted my SIL to be in the front seat so she could be comfortable and Nyleen gets car sick if she's not in the front--so she drove.

I KNOW THE STORY IS TOO LONG BUT YOU WANTED TO READ THIS DAMN BLOG SO SIT DOWN AND KEEP READING!!!! THERE'S A POINT TO THIS!!!!

As I'm driving out...my boss calls. One of our veteran dispatchers was rushed to the hospital and she's NOT doing well. She's had some significant health issues these past couple of years, and I just fear she's not going to get too far now. I hope this isn't the case, and it was sad news to hear. We show up at Mission Inn, park, walk a freakin' block and half in the rain, walk around, notice about 40,000 of the 2 MILLION lights were actually on (lots of strands were out), and generally...just thought the whole trip sucked. Nyleen started crying because she was frustrated, Michael Ryan wanted to run into the street multiple times in what I can only assume was either misdirected 3 year old abilities to behave, or perhaps, he too was very frustrated and wanted to end his life by getting plowed over by a horse and carriage. Yes. I said horse and carriage. For 20 bucks...you could ride around in one. Uncovered. In the rain. Yeah....REAL fun.

Anyway...we get back ON THE ROAD, head back to the Orange Curtain, and we're hungry. Pull into the Don Jose's on Imperial Highway just off the 91 and get into our seats and order. All by about 8:15. Being 20+ year customers of Don Jose's, we are pretty used to getting our food, even on ULTRA busy nights, within about 10 minutes. IT'S MEXICAN FOOD FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! 25 minutes later...and 7 buckets of chips later...still no food. I start getting irritated. I look around and see my waiter kabittzing with another table. I make mental note. Next time I see him come out, he goes to another table. Talks to them. Strike 2. Third time I see him, he's hold fried ice cream and a troupe of crooning Mexican waiters is following him to a table to sing whatever the hell they sing in Spanish for a birthday. Strike 3.

I go, quietly might I add, to the front desk, ask for the manager, who happened to be right behind me. Big oaf. Scared the crap out of me. Anyway, I said, "Look, I'm sorry to complain but I'm hungry enough to snap your head off and use your brain as an appetizer. I've been waiting for 30 minutes for our food. Isn't that just a tad long?"

The dude actually looked at me...I SWEAR THIS IS TRUE...looks at me right in the eye and says, "You the party of 20?" First...unless I was struck blind, there was no party of 20 anywhere in the restaurant. Second, where I was sitting, in the very back, was where a party of 20 would be. DEFINITELY no party of 20 back there. And thirdly...I don't care if I was a party of freakin 200, GET ME MY DAMNED FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh...for those that know me and can hear my voice, I VERY irritatedly answered him, "Noooooooooooooooooooo...I'm a party of five. This is outlandish." Now, why I chose the word outlandish I know not. I WAS hungry. Perhaps my speech center in my brain was not up to snuff. Not sure. OUTLANDISH. That's a pretty gay word. Wait. Not gay. More...European. No. More sort of uppity. AND I LIVE IN A MOBILE HOME FOR GOD'S SAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway...with 23.5 seconds of registering my complaint, magically, my food appeared. And no, I'm not too far off with those seconds. I saw the manager go in the kitchen, and next thing I know, not one but TWO waiters are running to my table with food trays with piping hot food.

Anyway...it was just a day of lots of other little things that would make this entry in the Observations of the H go on WAY too long.

Perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Oh...but no. I had to end the day on a downer note. Just before I started this entry, I found out Yamato is folding for the season. FOR GOD'S SAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Milestones...

First time I ever marched a parade
Trombone player--7th grade, with the Boys' Club of Pasadena Marching Youth Band. Somewhere in Huntington Beach, some time in the summer, and the march...March Grandioso and Hey Look Me Over.

First time I was ever a drum major
I think it was the summer before my 9th grade year. For the same Boys' Club Band. Marched in the parade in "downtown" Mammoth Lake. Grand Marshall that year...Erin Moran. Figure it out...

First time I ever performed with the Pasadena High School Marching Band
Football game in 1980. Can't remember. Remember "sketchy" memories of setting up in old Lot 4 at Pasadena City College outside of the old Horrell Field and being nervous as hell because I was about to do what I spent 10 years earlier watching my big brother do. Pretty cool.

First field show I ever performed in with the Pasadena High School Marching Band
I think it was the West Covina Field Tournament but I can't be for sure. I DO remember that we performed there, the Savanna Field Tournament, the Westminster Field Tournament, and the Palmdale Field Show and Band Review. March--Eagle Squadron. I would like to now fully admit, 26 years later, that I never did fully memorize that HARD ASS MARCH. I apologize to Mr. Wickham. I might as freakin' well. Everyone ELSE is reading my stupid blog.

First time I ever almost beat the holy living crap out of a drum major for being an ASS at the West Arcadia Band Review (true story)
Current "courtesy" and tradition is when a drum major passes another drum major they salute each other. Sort of geeky, but sort of cool. Some weird ass military whatever. West Arcadia Band Review--1981, Pasadena High School's drum major (and BAD ASS) Kevin Ramsey was leading us south on Baldwin Ave. We had just gone through the SECOND area where we were supposed to play, called the Tournament of Roses viewing area. That's where TofR folks watch all the bands and take notes. WHATEVER. So we're heading south. I'm a trombone. Front rank. I believe I was right guide--maybe 2nd in. Can't remember. I played loud. What's more to remember? As we're going south, I see a drum major walking by himself northbound on my side of the street. Perhaps he lost his dog. Or his band. I have no clue. He stops--snaps a salute at my drum major. That would be the aforementioned bad ass Kevin Ramsey. Kevin didn't SEE the salute. Saluting drum major felt that was a slight. So he did what any good, decent, ethical drum major in full uniform representing his school would do...and I can see it as PLAIN AS DAY IN MY MIND--I was looking RIGHT at this joker...he flipped off my drum major.

Ohhhhhh...take note, this would be the Pomona HS drum major. I was incensed. He's lucky I didn't drop out of the block and knock him out right there. There was just something inside of me that snapped. I remember getting back to the bus, checking with my DM if he had seen the other DM salute him (He did not), and then, that little obsessive compulsive "I hold a grudge FAR too long" demon inside of me awakened. Either the Pomona HS drum major was going to die...or there would be a very unlucky cat in my neighborhood later that day.

Busses took us to Arcadia HS for food and to get ready for the awards. Out on the big lawn of Arcadia's music building, where little did I know several years later I would actually be an instructor and drill designer and be PART of Arcadia, many different bands sat around and ate their lunches and were relaxing. I was still in uniform, but we wore "togas" to protect our uniform so we could eat. I don't remember the specifics of what happened, but out of the blue, I saw the offending drum major. And in my 10th grade 15 yr old mind, I had a mission. I had to protect my drum major, I had to defend Pasadena High School, and I most CERTAINLY had to teach this guy a lesson that he should NEVER EVER EVER flip off another drum major. EVER.

I walked up to the guy, and told him who I was. I then explained to him that he was #*#&$, and a #()$)@)@$*, with a nice big helping of warning him that a sure and swift death would come upon him and his posterity were he to choose to be that rude again. Funny...his body language was such that he was broadcasting that A) he didn't believe me, B) he didn't want to listen to me and C) should I remain near him, he would in fact kill ME. So therefore, without a word, he turned his back on me. And started to walk away.

Perhaps I wasn't clear...so I tapped him on his shoulder and said I wasn't done. He sighed, you know, that big HEAVE of the shoulders, and turned around.

His attitude changed suddenly. For unbeknownst to him, and to myself, a large contingent of some of our, uhhhh, rougher and darker members of the PHS Band had seemingly come out of nowhere, and were standing behind me.

Message delivered.

First time I competed as a drum major
Tom Peacock competition, some time in March at Katella High School in 1982 at those "L" Pattern Competitions. My first judge ever--Brian Fox. Brian used to be drum major at Pasadena High School back in the 60's. Small world. Since I was totally self taught and didn't know my ass from a hole in the ground, after my "roll off" and 4 whistles, I stepped off, did a nice little flourish with my mace to get it around so I could start beating time, and then, promptly SPIT my whistle out. I still have the tape of Brian Fox laughing at me. Got 2nd place. Laugh at that.

First time I competed as a drum major in a band review
Fall of 1982, Pasadena High School in the Chino Band Review. Was a total and absolutely emotional sack of crap that day. But you wouldn't be able to tell it. I was cool, calm, ultra collected, and we were ready. Got the band lined up at the starting line, waited for my cue from the starting judge, did my roll off routine, did my 4 whistles, did NOT spit it out this time (LOL!), and started to "beat time". In drum major world, you're supposed to cue your salute routine so that when you snap your salute it happens 6 steps before the "salute line" and you hold it for 6 steps AFTER the salute line. I don't get it. But those are the rules. Remember I said you couldn't see I was a nervous mess before? Well you could on my salute routine. Oh, the routine was fine. I even did a "half moon" in the routine--difficult maneuver--and snapped my salute...and realized, I was saluting some other line that was about 40 feet away from the TRUE salute line. So my salute timing was like 29 steps and 6 steps after. Drum major judge said I was great--just learn the damn rules. Gee thanks.

More "firsts" to come...

OK...allow me to geek out for a second.

First...I HAVE to get this off my chest. There's been a lot of press about Princess Diana and her tragic death and whether there was a conspiracy or the driver was drunk or the paparazzi killed her...whatever. My point is this. Is, or was, Diana not one of the most BEAUTIFUL women ever? I sure think so. Just wanted to tell you all. Thank you.

Second...today was the OCFA Holiday Luncheon. All of us at headquarters went over and congregated in this really big open area and had a turkey dinner. As I'm sitting there eating, the A/V guy for the fire department came up to me and says, "Dude, you wanna announce?" My ears perked up. Ohhhhh COME ON!!! ME?!?!?!? ANNOUNCE?!?!?!? :-))))) In any event, one of our big wigs was going to be the MC for the event, and they wanted someone to "announce" him on to stage. So I was "volunteered". LOL!! Oh, I forgot one thing. Said big wig was dressed up--like Borat. On the fly, I was able to announce him on to the stage. It was fun. However, what was even WEIRDER was sitting backstage and "Borat" had two "assistants" who were his "band". Well, ONE of these band members happened to be a former student of mine from my days WAY back in the 80's when I used to teach for the Arcadia HS Apache Marching Band (now California's largest marching band, thank you very much). SMALL WORLD. But it got smaller. Because as I joking around and waiting for my cue to do the announcing, said former student said, "Ohhhhh, and by the way, I read your blog." DOH!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then he said, "And you sure don't spend anytime talking about work!! You just talk about band and judging!" WOW!!! So...now I'm writing about work! YA HAPPY!!!!!???? :-) And how the heck did you know I had a freakin' BLOG!?!?!?!

Third...it tickles me to no end when I consider someone "FAMOUS" reads my blog. I have a vast amount of respect for this person and for HIS blog and for his unbelievable ability to do amazing things with the talents he's been blessed with. I know that sounds geeky, but this is a person who I've given great credit to for me starting my own blog, and I tend to idolize people that make impacts on my life. Not in a weird stalker sort of way. Not in a notebook full of his pictures sort of way. But in a totally HEALTHY manly sort of way!!! LOL!!! But seriously--this person made a goal a couple of years back to pack his bags and head to LA LA Land, and either fail miserably at what he was going to do, or be unbelievably successful. Apparently the LATTER occurred. Which is actually mind-blowing considering that he's breaking into--LITERALLY--the movie making business. And trust me, it's not that I would ever aspire to BE what he is doing (because I have the talent level of a piece of lint in comparison) however, it's HOW he sticks to his guns and makes life a freakin' adventure that just continually inspires me. He makes it seem like being SCARED of doing MORE than what you think you are capable is for PUSSES. And THAT my friends is partly why I wrote 11 shows this season, judged every weekend including NEBRASKA, why I'm sitting in my own office now at the Fire Department, and heading up a whole new "thing" AND organizing a Dispatcher Academy AND doing CQI for EMD's AND being a family man and raising two kids AND doing several music related projects for church. Yeah. I would probably be able to do all of this anyway, but I found a new inspiration this past year.

Soooooooooooooooo...with that--my hats off to Lee Rudnicki--and you can read about his exploits and to what I specifically refer to on HIS awesome blog at http://drumlaw80.blogspot.com/ . And thanks Lee for your example and humor--whacked as it may be.

Let's see...that's about it.

Marching Band is oooooooooooooooover...or IS IT?

Hi fans and friends and fellows...what is? What up? What it be like? Get down, get funky, now get back up...

Boy WHAT a season this has been in the world of marching band. I wrote 11 shows, all of which have indicated to me that apparently I will be returning in the fall (NOT holding my breath--I know the nature of the business MOST definitely). I thought--or I think--or whatever...that I had my MOST successful season in that I had a good time writing, I was pretty dang disciplined (thank you Project Manager part of me), and I just had some really great feedback from some directors. I REALLY do like writing drill--actually, I love it. And I hopefully was able to make it show this year.

But on TOP of the drill writing, I had what I think is a far more successful season judging for the SCSBOA (and that one trip to Nebraska--brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!). More than drill designing, I love judging. The SCSBOA is in some need of some SERIOUS "thinking" about their field show side of things. They have a very capable Vice President (and friend) who hopefully will continue being PROGRESSIVE when it comes to the field competition part of what we do in the music education business. But--I'm quickly turning this paragraph away from what I REALLY want to talk about...AND THAT'S ME!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!! (Those that know me--know I don't like to type ABOUT me--I just like to type about THINGS that I happen to be involved in!!! LOL!!). ANYWAYS--stay on target Turner--judging...yes, judging. As indicated earlier in my blogocrap, I have been a visual performance judge for this past season in SCSBOA. Judged EVERY single weekend plus 2 weeknight shows. Pretty busy. What made this season great for me was the feedback.

You know, it's one thing to have someone email you and say "Thanks for the great tape" or "Your comments were RIGHT on" (which I REALLY appreciated hearing), but it's WHOLE OTHER LEVEL to be on the phone for a substantial amount of time with not one, but TWO different VERY prominent DCI people talking about and in a way defending your judging ability. The two guys I spoke with this semester I respect a lot, and both were professional, friendly, and were able to help me see THEIR viewpoint without bashing me over the head. That was a very cool deal. I felt like the reason that all the trouble was being made by these two to talk to me was that because I MUST have been doing a somewhat decent job in the first place. I mean, I know if I was in their shoes (which I am technically when I put my designer/instructor hat on), I could give two poops about some visual judge's opinion if I felt it was someone not really doing their job well or not really respected in the first place. So...that was cool.

I also had the very unique experience of judging the LAUSD Championships this past weekend. Now, it's pretty well-known that, with very few notable exceptions, music, and more specifically, MARCHING music, is NOT supported in the LA school system. I think they are the 2nd largest school district in the country, but have a pretty horrible music system. Well, someone must have sent them a memo about that a few years back. Because LA has started to turn things around. Their marching band championships was always judged independently--and like I said before, with very few exceptions, there was very little in quality. About 3 or 4 years ago, LAUSD Championship folks contacted SCSBOA and asked for SCSBOA to handle judging of the event. It was the first attempt to bridge what had been described as a bit of a gulf between LAUSD and SCSBOA. To be on this panel was an eye-opener because there were still some bands out there that simply didn't have a clue. BUT, according to some colleagues, what I saw last Saturday was a HUGE improvement from 3 years ago.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO...that being said...CONGRATS TO LA. Some of your bands are WAY on top of it (Granada Hills, Garfield--BIG TIME, Van Nuys, Verdugo Hills, Los Angeles, San Fernando...and yes, EVEN LOCKE HS), others are on the right track. VERY encouraging. Good job LAUSD. And I have to give out a special recognition to someone who seemed to me to be the man in charge of the whole event, and that was a guy named Tony White. What a GREAT guy--and he talked to us judges before the event, and talked about a program called "Beyond The Bell". Some kind of funding or something so maybe music is going to get the lift it needs in LAUSD. Sure hope so. For all the good that I got of instrumental music in high school (especially in marching band), I can hardly believe that anyone would think it's NOT worthy to have for kids nowadays.

OK--well, that's the end of THIS blog. I have a new interface I have to get used to and figure out how to make my blog look better. I'm increasingly tickled by hearing from people that say "Hey man, I read your blog." That AMAZES me.

HELLO!?!?! Is this thing STILL here?

Hi everyone--like there IS an everyone--coming to live from a month of hi-jinks and hecticness that has kept me from keeping this blog up-to-date--and in turn, keeping apparently the ONLY person in all the world that gives a crap about my blog happy because I actually am UPDATING THIS NOW!! Of course, he's probably long since not given a crap. Wouldn't know until I read my comment section.

OK--here's a few factoids--

1. In my meeting with lots of people over the last semester through my involvement in the marching band world, I have CLEARLY realized that people really do read blogs. So, I REALLY need to do a better job keeping this updated. I apologize if anyone really cares that much. I always feel far from being witty or funny or even interesting when I'm blabbing away here on my blog.

2. I have used the World of Pageantry Discussion Forum more as a blog than anything. That's probably why I haven't spent too much time up on this blog. That will be corrected. As one famous band director said the other night: "I have NO idea how in the heck you can type THAT MUCH STUFF up on WOP!" I don't either, Tom. I don't either.

3. This past season I judged with the SCSBOA as a visual performance judge. I have had a great time for the most part. There have been a couple of unfortunate glitches, like the one band director that thought greensheeting would solve the problem that this director is having with ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of the visual judges, but namely me. Apparently I "raised my voice" on the tape and that I didn't give any hints how to fix things that I was noticing that was wrong. Oh jeez...that's right. When I say a form is out of alignment, I should quickly add "So line it up." There's your fix. Good grief. The things people worry about sometimes. I had another semi-unfortunate face-to-face with a director that I think the world of, but apparently, he wasn't too thrilled with my decision. The job of the judge is something I take seriously, and whether or not my personality allows people to actually take me seriously is one issue. But I am here to tell you I DO take it seriously, and I couldn't help the director in question was no more attempting to intimidate me as he was checking to see if I really was a "real" judge. I would say offensive--but I sort of understand. And it was just sad. But I sort of knew the job was going to be tough when I took it, hanh?

On top of that, I had two VERY interesting phone calls from two EXTREMELY--wait, strike that--one EXTREMELY well-respected band director who also has spent a great deal of time teaching visual for a pretty famous corps (yeah--I'm not going to identify him because he didn't say I could). The other person that called me is also from the drum corps world AND a band director. I'll leave it at that. :-)))) In any event, they both wanted to express "their concern" about my judging the visual caption. They both were very professional and very nice and both phone calls were actually not bad in the least. What WAS hilarious was this. One came at me with the "you don't talk enough about technique" complaint when on the visual performance sheet, that sub-caption has the most point alloted to it. The OTHER guy came to me with the "you talk TOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH about technique" argument, but actually was very informative as he was pointing out that SCSBOA DOES in fact judge the WHAT as well as the HOW. He was feeling is WHAT was FAR greater in complexity and musicality than anyone else's WHAT, and that his HOW was good enough. He also didn't agree with the point structure presently on the sheet, but there's not a whole lot I can say about that, is there? In any event--good education to me from these two guys. They actually helped me--albeit a little late in the season--to open my eyes more. And to be honest--that eye-opening is what I think really ticked off the first director I'm referring to.

Again--that's sad. But we'll get along I'm sure and all will be well. Not to talk just about the "bad"...I've received a LOT of support from some VERY suprising sources for my efforts as a judge. I have been BLOWN AWAY by what people have said in my "rookie" efforts (even though I've been judging for about 6 years prior to SCSBOA). I really do love judging. I know that I have some refining to do in my delivery. I think I can do a better job matching my comments to the criteria reference and the scores. I probably could stand to even out my temperment and be less "angry" sounding (thanks to Jeri Webb from Westview pointing that out) and less "hyping" when things are going great. But really...that's just ME. The unrefined, "untrained" judge.

4. Had a GREAT conference call meeting with the design staff of Capital Sound. Some great talent. I'm sort of tickled that most everyone on staff are upper 30's/early 40's, except the guard dude. He's 21. Hilarious. But a GREAT GREAT talent, and I think this will be a great education for him (and me) to work with an "older" staff. I think we know what we're doing--and we're setting out to make the organization as strong as we can. My part is to make sure the drill is attainable, performable, and interesting. I can do THAT in my sleep. So Cal Dream had their first design staff meeting--this time at MY house--and it was a BLAST. I had a lot of fun, getting to know the guys, getting to see how we work, getting things rolling for the corps. If we can keep our heads on straight and try not to let the "old guard" of DCA get their panties in a crunch because the west coast senior scene is starting to really make an impact, I think So Cal Dream can once again go back and make a GREAT name for themselves. We're going to go for the gold in Class A again, and that's just fine with me. One problem though. Interest in So Cal Dream is VERY VERY high. And last but not least, Impulse had apparently their most successful open house. Doesn't hurt to be able to say World Champion Impulse, because they are. And it also doesn't hurt DCI is coming to Pasadena this year. So interest is high. And my theory is DEFINITELY going to be put to the test. You wanna know what that theory is.

It's called the Ryan H. Turner Theory of Drum Corps Sustainability. All things being perfect, the southern California region, which runs from Santa Barbara County of the west and Kern County to the east all the way down to the Mexican Border could EASILY sustain several Division I drum and bugle corps. SEVERAL. Why? Because we have a lot of talent both instructor and performers. And if people came out and experienced the drum corps activity in droves, it would be no problem. We have something like 20 million people out here. GIVE ME A BREAK! I'm sure we could get 1000 kids interested in drum corps. Right now--Impulse (and So Cal Dream to some extent) is going up against Gold, Mystikal (who is now in Long Beach), Pacific Crest, and to a lesser extent, Esperanza down south. The new upstart VK--not the Velvet Knights--also are generating their own little hype, but I'm not too entirely worried about having to "compete" with them for bodies. Impulse is an established group, with a name, and great talent running the corps. I think we'll be fine. But add to this though Kingsmen Star Corps. They ARE starting up NEXT year...and they will have some MAJOR backing and they are serious. Dead serious.

5. Work is going great. I have nothing much else to say about that. Because I'm lying. Work is NOT going great. But I'll just lie and say it is and we'll go from there. Whatever.

6. Family is great. I'm great. Wife is great. That's it.

I'm tired...I'm going now. I have SO much more to talk about but not right now--

It's been awhile...

Hi out there...I forgive the lack of updates, but things have been pretty busy. How many times have you read THAT on someone's blog. Seems like life can get pretty whacked at times, and the more important things HAVE to be dealt with. That's where I've been. Let me give you a quick run-down of the events over the last few weeks...

--Sarah started kindergarten!! She loves it. My little 2 pound at birth premature in-NICU-for-her-first-month baby girl is REALLY growing up. UNREAL!!! She's doing fantastic.

--Michael Ryan is absolutely growing by leaps and bounds. He spent the first year of his life being pissed off for being here in the first place (or so I think) but now he's adapted VERY well into being the loud, boisterous and irresistably cute son of the loud, boistersous and irresistably loud dad!! Mom had a little to do with it too I guess.

--11 bands this season (yes Lee--ELEVEN!! Whacked!! Good money. But no brain cells.) But it went VERY well. Probably my best season to date. Even better than the year I wrote 16 shows for bands in 4 different states. THAT was a challenge. Anyway...I was pretty disciplined and organized and got things done. Major plans afoot to take the Ryan H. Turner Show Design Productions up a notch.

Or seven.

--Was named drill designer for Capital Sound in Madison, Wisconsin. Pretty incredible considering EVERYONE on staff is from "back there", and it was a surprise for me to get the call. I'm pretty dang stoked. My former visual caption friend from La Canada HS now lives out there and in a strange bit of fate, interviewed and got the Exec Director job for the corps. So--he told me. I was going to be the FIRST he would hire. Stuck to his word.

--Was promoted with So Cal Dream to Program Coordinator. Will keep writing drill but work closely with how the show is put together. I do have talent in this area, just not utilized. It's good that I'm still friends after all these years with one of the greatest genius minds in all of drum corps and winter guard, Mike McCool, and he's just a phone call/email away to help me make sure I'm doing the best I can.

--Waiting to hear about Impulse. Not sure what direction they're going with drill design. I may collaborate with Ron Z., but not sure. Ron Z. is very talented so there's really no need for me to be in the mix. It would just be nice to be in the mix. To mix it up.

--Work (the day job) is going well. What else can I say. It provides the main part of my income, I have my own office, new furniture, freedom, interact with LOTS of people, yet...something is missing. Still trying to figure THAT out.

--Judging for the SCSBOA. That was a major goal of mine that was finally realized. For some, or most, that's probably not that big of a deal. But I am an "outsider" intruding into the world that has normally been "band directors only". So--to be qualified, and then given 11 assignments for my rookie season has been an indication that I should probably be confident in how the PTB feel about me. I'm doing the best I can in this area. As a matter of fact, of these 11 shows, I consider 3 of them to be MAJOR tournaments--Vista, Mt. Carmel, and the Arcadia Festival of Bands. I have a feeling I'll be doing the SCSBOA Championships as well, but they won't tell anyone anything until the dust settles. I was just told to keep that day clear.

--Leaving for Nebraska tomorrow morning. EARLY. Judging the Nebraska Bandmasters Association State Championships. 31 bands. ARGH!!! I'm on a panel with Rob Jett (guard guru!), James Rocillo (horn guru--Ayala HS and SCV), Pete Weber (SCV drill designer), Matt Savage (my old drum guy and buddy from VK days)...looks to be exciting and a great panel. Weather...eh. Not so great. Probably about 50 degrees for a high, breezy, cloudy...cold. I'll be doing Visual Ensemble Analysis.

--Speaking of Ensemble Analysis, I attended my first of 3 WGASC judge's training sessions as I embark on the final part of pageantry arts goals. I'm looking to be a well-rounded adjudicator in multi-disciplines and multiple captions. There's actually a goal behind this that I should expand on a bit because even though many friends and co-workers (HI MY OCFA-ITES!!!) consider me a band geek (thusly equating what I do to nothing really important), it is to me and I take it seriously (when I need to and when I'm not pissed off about something IN pageantry arts!!).

Anyway--this goes back several years, but in 1992, I was working security at Knott's Berry Farm, and was working my ass off in the fall teaching all over the place, designing shows, and then in the spring, announcing EVERY weekend for the WGASC. I had to make as much money as I could because at 9 bucks an hour, KBF wasn't cutting it. At the time, I was living in Placentia with Phil Mortensen, band director at Valencia HS (then) and now the district music supervisor. At the time (and I can't remember exactly when he took over) but Lee Carlson was the President of WGASC, or was about to become the President. Actually, at the time, I was Vice President of Contests for the association. In any event, was very familiar with Lee and worked with him. He called me out of the blue and said if I could take a judging gig for him in Washington State for the Puget Sound Band Championships--it was for visual. I had NEVER judged a day in my life, and of course, being Ryan H. Turner and sometimes honest to a fault, I spewed out as much to Lee on the phone and gave him a thousand reasons to find someone else.

He told me to shut up and I got the gig. Went up, was on a panel of people I didn't know except for 2 people...and that was Brad Pearson (who was writing music for VK at the time), and this really loud guy by the name of Michael Cesario. Yeah. THAT Michael Cesario. I had a blast!! It was so much fun. I was HOOKED on judging. I LOVED IT. For some reason, it wasn't "hard", but it was hard work. Does that make sense? But I reveled in it. LOVED it.

Fast forward a few years. I get married. My show design business takes a nose dive. Things then began to build back up, albeit slowly. Had some VERY disappointing projects and interactions with some directors (in reality, was VERY hurt a couple of times when some directors showed themselves to be completely ignorant of how to be business-like). I began to think that maybe drill designing, even though I loved THAT, wasn't something that I should pursue as much as I should pursue judging. So, I made it a goal. At the time, SCSBOA was DEAD SET against people like me coming in and judging ANY band caption--visual, GE, or music--even though I had been with the association since 1985 AND had some pretty good success (and some dismal failures). I decided that I would begin to get my name out NATIONALLY, and start promoting myself to be a qualified visual judge. And magically--through my own efforts, I ended up judging over the past 6 years in Missouri, Nevada, Washington, Arizona and Utah. I even was asked once to hire a crew and fly to Washington and be the Chief Judge for a show--all 30 days before the show was scheduled--because the guy that was supposed to do dropped the ball. So I was able to get a GREAT group together, including the Zeilinger brothers, Greg Flores, Robert Whitaker, Dale Leaman, Chad Kohlmier and Paul Locke...and off we all flew. There's a point...hang on!!

During this time--SCSBOA was starting to "relax" there strangle-hold on the stance they held that kept experts like me out of the band captions. I argued with people like Don Jaramillo and Don Gunderson about this. It was illogical to allow NON-CREDENTIALED percussion and guard people to judge, but keep people like me, who OBVIOUSLY was committed to southern California marching band, OUT. After some false starts and miscommunications, FINALLY, last season I trialed at 2 shows. And as they say, the rest is history.

Anyway--the short of this is that at the time I was obviously getting calls to do things across the country (heck--even George Hopkins was ready to hire me for the famous USSBA!!!) so my "going national" goal worked. But in my HEART, my goal was to get qualified for the SCSBOA. That had been a goal that was hampered NOT by a lack of talent or ability on my part, but a VERY long process that dealt with the culture of CHANGE in the SCSBOA. And as we can see, SCSBOA hasn't imploded with the inclusion of talent that may not be band directors. So the hidden "in my heart" goal has finally been realized, and as I had said so many years, I get to give my advice and opinion to more kids and directors at one time as an SCSBOA judge.

And it makes me strangely proud to start my tapes by saying, "Hello, this is Ryan H. Turner from the Southern California School Band and Orchestra Association, and I'll be adjudicating you today in the area of Visual Performance." Thank you SCSBOA. I would say it's about time, but that's not the tone I want to take. I'd rather say thank you, I'm proud to be part of the team.

OK...that's it. I'm done. Sorry OCFA people. Don't have much more to say about work other than...KEEP DUMITRU UNDER CONTROL!!!

And Dumitru!!! MY BLOG IS UPDATED FOR GOD'S SAKES!!!

I don't like cats...

I'm not a huge fan...this video does NOTHING to make feel any closer or more understanding of the feline...

Hello from the Great West...

Ryan H. Turner coming to you LIVE from beautiful Orange County, California...and what a day it is. Today we were supposed to start seeing the effects of a possible Santa Ana windstorm, but true to form, the FREAKIN' WEATHER GUYS GOT IT WRONG AGAIN. Currently I'm sitting under cloudy skies with a stiff COOL wind coming from the OPPOSITE DIRECTION that a Santa Ana windstorm would come from. HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILARIOUS. Happens all the time. Which just goes to show. There is no such thing as weather FORECASTING...they should just call it what it is. Weather GUESSING. There is no future weather other than what you're experiencing right now.

I've had the good fortune of being contacted by 2 friends from my past who stumbled somehow upon my blog. I really dig the fact that people are reading this. But it also intimidates me to some extent. One of the people that contacted me is a high-faluting executive for some company and he's just on another level of existance from me. BUT...he's super cool and we email back and forth every so often. Known him since 1980. And the other person is far away in another state, with a husband and kid, owns an internet based business, and is in all ways apparently quite successful. I miss her...we go WAY back... you're not supposed to have regrets in life, but I regretted the way I treated this person back "in the day". Young, stupid, and scared I was. Anyway--we're in contact and catching up and she's great. In case she's reading...HI!!!!

Marching band season in full swing now--I have 11 bands, and according to the Excel chart that I created that helps me with Project Management, I have 89.3% complete with my shows, I have 43% outstanding fees on my projected fee income, and I'm getting set to judge 12 shows in southern California and the Nebraska State Marching Band Finals!!! Ooooooooooooo rah!!! Busy man. I'm also helping out Impulse behind the scenes with a couple of projects, and I'm hopefully going to be asked back to head up the visual design for So Cal Dream.

Oh ... and I was hired today to write the drill for Capital Sound, a Division III corps out of Madison, Wisconsin. Sort of like the younger brothers to the Madison Scouts. I'm VERY much looking forward to this new assignment. Can't wait.

Anyway--I'm going to go eat lunch now. Have to meet up with some Impulse people and a sales rep friend of mine from Kanstul Horns.

I'm having a GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD day...

This is interesting...

Love him or loathe him, he nailed this one right on the head...Rush Limbaugh says:I think the vast differences in compensation between victims of the September 11 casualty and those who die serving our country in Uniform are profound. No one is really talking about it either, because you just don't criticize anything having to do with September 11. Well, I can't let the numbers pass by because it says something really disturbing about the entitlement mentality of this country. If you lost a family member in the September 11 attack, you're going to get an average of $1,185,000. The range is a minimum guarantee of $250,000, all the way up to $47 million.

If you are a surviving family member of an American soldier killed in action, the first check you get is a $6,000 direct death benefit, half of which is taxable.. Next, you get $1,750 for burial costs If you are the surviving spouse, you get $833 a month until you remarry. And there's a payment of $211 per month for each child under 18. When the child hits 18, those payments come to a screeching halt. Keep in mind that some of the people who are getting an average of $1.185 million up to $47 million are complaining that it's not enough. Their deaths were tragic, but for most, they were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Soldiers put themselves in harms way FOR ALL OF US, and they and their families know the dangers. We also learned over the weekend that some of the victims from the Oklahoma City bombing have started an organization asking for the same deal that the September 11 families are getting. In addition to that, some of the families of those bombed in the embassies are now asking for compensation as well.

You see where this is going, don't you?

Folks, this is part and parcel of over 50 years of entitlement politics in this country. It's just really sad. Every time a pay raise comes up for the military, they usually receive next to nothing of a raise. Now the green machine is in combat in the Middle East while their families have to survive on food stamps and live in low-rent housing. Make sense? However, our own U.S. Congress voted themselves a raise. Many of you don't know that they only have to be in Congress one time to receive a pension that is more than $15,000 per month. And most are now equal to being millionaires plus. They do not receive Social Security on retirement because they didn't have to pay into the system. If some of the military people stay in for 20 years and get out as an E-7, they may receive a pension of $1,000 per month, and the very people who placed them in harm's way receives a pension of $15,000 per month I would like to see our elected officials pick up a weapon and join ranks before they start cutting out benefits and lowering pay for our sons and daughters who are now fighting.

I said in a previous post about 9-11 that there's more to the story. A recently released video has summed it up for me nicely. It's OBVIOUS there's more to the story. Keep checking back as I will be posting the video in 3 parts here in my blog over the next week.

Perhaps...just perhaps...if you have an open mind, and you still care about what REALLY matters in this life, you'll have your eyes opened.

9-11...a day that will never be forgotten

First--the facts.

On September 11, I was working as a dispatcher at the Orange County Fire Authority Command Center in Orange. It was about 6am, and I was getting ready for work in my house in Placentia. I usually turn on the TV to keep me company while eating breakfast, but for whatever reason, I wasn't hungry, and I didn't need the TV. I got into the car, pulled out of the driveway, and headed on down the road. The radio was on my favorite station, KFI-640, and Bill Handel was on. I can distinctly remember hearing him speaking with a terrorism expert from UCLA, and I can't remember the guys name, but he's a dude that's always in the news as the resident expert. Very familiar. I was NOT listening...it was sort of just background yapping. And besides, I hadn't had my morning Diet Coke.

So, I get on the 57 freeway from Yorba Linda Blvd, and start heading south. I use this geographic reference because I remember how things started to make sense to me, and I just happened to remember where I was when everything happened. It began to dawn on me as I was listening to Bill that something wasn't right, so I started to pay more attention. By the time I had reached the 91, about 3 minutes later, I knew that there had been an obvious attack on the WTC, and that something may be happening elsewhere in the country. I was fully awake now. I clicked over to KFWB, and they had full coverage. At this time, I had a big shot of adrenaline, because I was thinking "We're having another WTC event like in 1993...but this sounds worse." I got off the freeway at Chapman in Orange and headed east bound towards Old Town Orange. There's a McDonald's about 1/2 mile down the road that I usually stop into, so I pulled in. The troll that usually worked there that morning took my order over the speaker, and as I pulled up to the window, I saw she was crying. She looked at me in horror--and I knew I wasn't a morning person, but she didn't have to look so scared of me.

"We're at war!"

I stared in disbelief at her. "WAR?"

"Don't you know what's happening?" I acknowledged that I did, but I didn't think it was war. Apparently she did.

By the time I had pulled back on to Chapman to continue my eastward journey, Bill and the morning crew were just beside themselves. Ken Gallaher, the "news man" at the time (and btw, the WORST talk show host since God created radio and why he has his own show on KFI is beyond me--they could hire a freaking monkey and get better work out of it...but I digress), was giving updates, and there was comments thrown in by Paul T. Wall, Rich Mirada, and of course Bill. As I approached the Orange City Post Office, it happened. One of the towers collapsed.

Apparently the crew had a TV in their studio, because as the tower began to crumble--and I will never forget this--Bill began to scream "Oh my GOD...oh my GOD..." Talk about an adrenaline rush. At that point, it wasn't panic that set in, but it was a surety that A) I was probably not going to be going home anytime soon, and B) there was something VERY VERY huge happening. I think by then the Pentagon had been hit, and there was talk or rumor that the White House had been hit as well. By the time I got into the Command Center, I got to see what was happening.

And my world changed.

You know--a lot of people, especially at work, know that I'm open to "alternative ideas" about life, especially in the area of paranormal and conspiracy stuff. I'm most CERTAINLY not a person that BELIEVES in everything, but I don't normally poo-poo stuff out-of-hand until I have a chance to read it. I will say for the record, in the 5 years SINCE the attacks, MANY questions have been raised--legitimate, scientific, and thoughtful questions--about what ACTUALLY happened. You can't deny 2 airplanes hit the WTC (although some would argue they weren't really AIRPLANES as you and I know them--meaning, commercial flights filled with people), and you can't deny that the towers fell, and you can't deny the Pentagon was hit and something occurred in Pennsylvania. But outside of that...it's a virtual LABRYINTH of theories, inconsistencies, high strangeness, and yes, even a spiritual/paranormal connection to it (anyone ever seen the "demon" pics of the smoke from the towers????).

I'm just saying, for the record, that I'm being asked to believe some pretty incredible things to make this 9-11 event FIT into the "Muslims hate us and attacked us" construct. I'm being asked to, as an American citizen, even in LIGHT of the "Muslims hate us and attacked us" construct to give up some freedoms, all in the name of American patriotism and security. And I was asked--to the point of AD NAUSEUM--to donate to the survivor families of 9-11, and to make sure the Red Cross was supported in their valiant efforts...even though the greed I saw out of the survivor families was DESPICABLE, and the Red Cross "lost" untold MILLIONS (ohhh?? Did you forget about THAT little scandel???).

I DO know 343 firefighters lost their lives, and almost 100 police officers did as well. THESE were THE heros, no matter WHO attacked us, or WHAT REALLY was behind the attacks, or who profited. THEY gave. And those people, the ones that I broke down in tears about a week later after near 24 hours a day coverage of this horrific day, are the ones that should NEVER be forgotten, and always honored for their courage and loyalty to the profession that they chose.

Wow...life...and the curve balls it throws

I had a relatively productive weekend. Did a lot of drill, made a lot of calls, met with a lot of people, and actually got to sleep in (but only a little) on Saturday morning. Today, Sunday, I came home from church choir rehearsal about at 5:30pm and hastily started making dinner (grilled garlic chicken and "pink sauce"--which is 2 bottles of Alfredo with 2 cups of marinara--over fettucini, broccoli, and some penne pasta just in case), and got ready to feed my family plus my brother in law, his "friend" :-) , and his daughter. Plus I had to do this within 45 minutes because I had yet ANOTHER choir rehearsal that I had to be at by 7pm (what's with all the freakin' CHOIR crap, Band-o Boy!?). Anyway...

As the water is starting to boil and I was quick thawing 4 pounds of chicken boob in the microwave, I sauntered over to my computer (now relocated to my front room as part of a larger remodel plan that is yet in its infancy) to check my email. And lo and behold, the world famous Alan Irons had emailed me. However--his email was anything but what I would expect from him, as he and I have stayed friends and have corresponded over the years since he graduated from Fountain Valley HS in 1996. This was probably one of the toughest emails for me to get, as it came out of NOWHERE and I had NO CLUE what to expect.

He wanted to let me know that the flute section leader from the Fountain Valley HS Royal Regiment from 1994-1996, Anne Coleville, was tragically killed two nights ago in Huntington Beach in a horrific traffic accident. I sat at my keyboard literally stunned. I was VERY fond of Anne as she was a natural leader, TOTALLY committed to the RR, and probably one of the best students that I or Gary Wampler ever had the pleasure to teach. On top of that though, I would see her every so often over the years at shows or what not. She had grown up to be sure, and was working a real career (some kind of analyst or something), and still living in Orange County. Out of the blue, I got an I.M. from her, and I would like to say it was about 1 1/2 years ago, and we spent a good half hour "chatting" back and forth. She filled me in on her life, on her parents (who were great band boosters), and just stuff. I was stoked to hear from her back then. It always nice for instructors like myself to run into or keep contact with the kids who really made a difference in the programs I've been involved in. I can guarantee you that Anne WAS that type of person. A director's dream in my eyes.

And while it's 2nd hand information, the CIRCUMSTANCES of her death really really disturb me. A GREAT deal. It's being said that she was in a car being driven by her apparently intoxicated boyfriend, who suffered serious injuries in the crash and is apparently still hospitalized. You know...for all those that drink and drive, if you want to go out and kill YOURSELVES...go right ahead. I played that silly ass game back before something slapped me upside my head, and now I have no tolerance for it. But kill someone else, and that just absolutely boils my blood. Anne Coleville, if she continued to be anything she was like when I knew her as a stellar high school student, had much to offer the world and the people in her life. But if what is being said is true, she had no chance for that because of a STUPID #(%ING DECISION made by her boyfriend. Since I have no tolerance for it, I will say this. I hope he suffers for the rest of his life and THEN some for what he did. NO SYMPATHY FROM ME...sorry. I've known too many people that have had their lives cut short because of alcohol--just check out one of my first posts in my blog to know of just one.

This is exactly why I stopped drinking voluntarily and totally on my own back in late November of 1992. I knew I had a problem when my at-the-time roommate Phil Mortensen said, "Dude...you need to chill out on the drinking." And I did. Cold. I was following in the footsteps of my parents, and I need not go down the route.

I was really rattled by this email from Alan. Death, for whatever reason, has been on my mind a lot within the last few months (and maybe I'll talk about it later...and nooooooooooooo...I'm not contemplating anything if you are thinking THAT...homey don't do the suicide thing!). I've "felt" the deaths of people lately more than ever before, and I'm sure it's because I'm 40 and I've hit the halfway mark. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh jeeeeeeeeeeez...I need to stop now. Not a good subject.

Later.

Anyway...the world has lost a very special person. And I'm quite saddened by the senselessness of it, and the loss. It's my hope that I can get to a memorial or funeral for her. I'm sure there will be MANY people there, as she probably touched a lot of people. I know she did in the Royal Regiment.

Thanks Alan for letting me know...

Deep breath...

Well, I'm going to start today (Friday) on a sad note. I went to Chino Hills HS's rehearsal last night, and met most of the staff. We have a new visual guy--Joe Gray--who is absolutely super. Didn't realize it until he pointed it out, but I already knew him because he's the boyfriend of Jen Johnson, who I basically saw "grow up" in the Fountain Valley HS guard. She went on to great success as a guard instructor for Mater Dei and the incredible Santa Margarita guard, and performed for several seasons with the Bluecoats, and ended up being hired by Bluecoats to be their business manager. VERY talented. So anyway, I RE-met Joe, and he's a great instructor. Reminded me of me in some ways how he instructs. Got to meet the famous John Mapes, percussion guru. WOW!! I've heard so much about him, and actually had seen him several times over the years, but this is my first time to work with him. What a great guy, and so incredibly talented. He's definitely on the road to be the next big thing in the world of marching percussion in my estimation. Chino Hills drum line is superb this year. But...what was sad was this.

I looked around halfway through the night, and realized that I was BY FAR the oldest person on staff. WAY older than the director! He's just a KID!!! (I'm kidding Justin...relax!). Man...it was really a realization I had last night. Sometimes those things smack me in the head when I least expect it...

I'm not going to apologize for my rant from yesterday for the "essence" of the message, but I WILL say that I'm sorry I may have been not my normal goofy and happy self. I just...I don't know...maybe it's been the incredibly long hours I've been putting in between teaching, writing, career, and family. But yesterday was like I had one last nerve left, and people were jumping up and down on it. Just be glad you weren't driving on the roads with me. SEVERAL drivers received my wrath as I went from point A to point B!! Hahahahahaha...sorry...LOL!!!

I'll try to be happier today. See??? I'm smiling right now. :-)

Whatever...now get outta here.

A little more ranting...take it for what it's worth...or I'll just shut it all down...

Sorry for the previous outburst.

A blog, for those that are not "hip" to what it is, is an online "journal" if you will. It is simply a collection of personal opinion, and somewhat of a log of events that may be of interest to other people. Opinion is a funny thing for a person like me that wears so many hats, especially in the "world" of pageantry (lower case indicating the world at large, not the website of the same name). I inadvertently "represent" many different organizations because I hold some kind of position...i.e, board member, drill designer, consultant, dispatcher, judge, etc. I am allowed...at least I SHOULD be allowed...to voice my concerns and OPINION about events that have occurred. It is NOT my intention to be two-faced as such that I would "run to my blog" to blevy about something, but then in "real life" go about my business like nothing is happening and all is well. I will post from time to time frustrations, "REAL TIME", and hopefully, maybe, find some solace, comfort, or hell, even THERAPY by typing it out. It will NEVER be my intention to publicly bash an organization that I may be a part of. Nor should there be a LIMITATION of my ability to express in a most docile and bland way a "concern" about something that's not necessarily a huge indictment of an entire organization. To me, in my book, it says something about maturity and accountability to be able to say "Hey, we/they/them/us could have been better in this department" or something akin to that level. It certainly is NOT, again, IN MY BOOK, an indication that anything is a FAILURE, nor does it mean that there is trouble ahead and oh my God, let's not TALK about it.

But on the other hand, I hope that in my 40 years of existance, that I can and HAVE found a balance between being a complete ASSHOLE about things and totally ripping whatever apart, versus on the other side of the spectrum being so PC about things that I wouldn't be able to type a freakin' thing. Sooooo...hence....my outburst earlier today. If truth MUST be told, I was about 2 freakin' seconds from deleting this stupid blog and moving on.

But I decided maybe, just maybe, I'd take a second and put something out there now that may entice someone (or the plural...SOME) to see how the little hamster turns the wheels in my mind, and hell, who knows, maybe even CALL ME or EMAIL ME. But hey...that's cool...I am who I am and I say what I say and this should be water under the bridge. But sometimes, I just get a feather out of alignment because things are blown out of porportion, at least in MY book (and this is MY book).

Changes have been made in my blog...course correction made...lesson learned...I understand "the other side" of the argument...but I have to have my say. So...there...I said it. And it probably makes absolutely no freakin' sense to anyone except those who it DOES make sense to. Understand? You don't? Oh well... :-)

And my mailbox is currently EMPTY.

Amazing...

How many people out there are reading my blog??? And how do I find this information out???

And why are some of you calling OTHER PEOPLE ON THE PHONE about what I write?????

This amazes me. Why don't you stand up like a REAL person and talk directly to me?

Oh...and go read what was so much an issue, and let me know if I corrected it to your liking.

Good grief....

Hello out there...and where have I been?

If you don't know me by now....

You will never ever ever know me....oooooooooooooo...

Sorry. I was having a moment. YES...it's MARCHING BAND SEASON!!! Well, actually, it's BEEN marching band season for about 2 months already. Yeah, we drill designers start way before anyone else does. I have 10 bands--it's been extremely hectic, juggling the business, the career at the Fire Department, hoping for a possible career change in the next several months if a plan that I have secretly working on pans out the way that I hope it does (but I must NOT say anything about it at work because--well--because), and of course, family and all that that entails. Sooooooooooooo...updating the blog is pretty low on the Top 40 Things To Do Everyday list. I apologize.

Good news--So Cal Dream, the senior or "all age" drum and bugle corps that I designed the drill for, came in third place at the Drum Corps Associates World Championships in Rochester, New York this past weekend. This was their second trip to the "Big Game" in their short 5 year history, so they've come a long way. I think the organization's "legitimacy" has just been increased seven-fold ($1 to Lee!). Lee, our Program Coordinator, predicted this. So did I. We just talk different languages. So...onwards. My future with the corps though...eh. I'm not sure. I have a feeling I've been cut because I'm psychic about these type of things, plus, I squawked to the exec director about what I considered to be an issue and--well, you know how things "change" when you're dealing with someone. It's hard to describe. But "it" changes. Yeah. "It" changed. So...we'll see. If it DOESN'T pan out for next season, I wish the organization the best. But if it DOES pan out...I think I can help take the corps to the next level. Which is...of course...making finals in Open Class. There's NOTHING I can't do design-wise that isn't already being done. Sounds conceited--but who cares. It's the truth. As a matter of fact, in comparison to what's out there in DCA land Open Class, I think I can bring a unique style. But...I don't see a bridge to cross right now so I'm talking WAY in the future tense.

OK...Impulse is the Division III World Champion!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!! And there are many exciting things in development for the corps to get ready for sure-to-be exciting 2007 season!! Check out the website for more information--and keep your ears and eyes open for announcements coming from the corps over the next few weeks. Good stuff...good stuff.

Rumors and rumors and more rumors...the drum corps activity is always alive and well with rumors. Mystikal, a little birdy told me, is departing the Ventura area and heading for greener pastures, where apparently kids LIKE to work hard. I don't get the Ventura area. But--oh well...they're losing their best chance to have a regional powerhouse corps with a committed director...another birdy told me that he was going to be applying for the directorship of a certain corps back somewhere else and is VERY excited about the prospect....said birdy is VERY talented and would probably kick some booty in the position....we shall see...Pasadena gearing up for 2007, the site of the Drum Corps International World Championships, being held at the Rose Bowl of course, and much to the chagrin of some real WINNERS...uh, sorry, I meant to say WHINERS on Drum Corps Planet...they fear everything from the Rose Bowl sucking as a venue (please...), to accessibility, to cost, to this to that...whatever. All I know is the east coast people better be buying their tickets early or they won't even GET a seat because everyone and their mother is going from the west coast to 2007 finals. PERIOD. It's about DAMN TIME that DCI came out here.

OK...enough band/corps geekdom stuff. Fire Department going well. Got new office furniture so I won't be in my office using a table that I found outside covered with rat poop and 1 inch of dust. Still trying to "find my niche" in this position, which makes it a little frustrating to say the least. The chief of the section told me yesterday that "ultimately you are responsible" for the TEMD program. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...how about giving me my 7.5% staff raise and a FREAKIN' JOB DESCRIPTION!!! I've been winging it for 6 months now. Sheeeeeeeeeeesh. Oh well...it's the OCFA. Remember, it's the organization that told 911 dispatchers that (at the old place) we were not allowed to "park closer to the building" because we had to leave that open for the I.S. people. Yeah...the same I.S. people that CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or the same OCFA that just promoted someone in finance that CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH and has regularly screwed things up on timeslips and paychecks. There you go. Makes me feel REAL good about MY accomplishments. I guess I must SUCK because I got promoted, hanh? Backwards thinking...I know...and I also know I'm just freakin' ranting. But try as they might to do some good things (and they do, I have to be honest), the OCFA amazes me some times with their truly stupid decisions. Where was I???

Oh yeah. Anyway--with "winging it" and no 7.5% staff raise and no job description, I did receive the best evaluation I've ever received by my immediate supervisor, so I must be doing something right. I was actually pretty amazed by the evaluation. Which reminds me...it was written by my immediate supervisor, even though strangely I don't report to him. Isn't that weird???? JOB DESCRIPTION AND FLOW CHART PLEASE!! :-)

On the personal front, I'll just say this. I wish I had more time for my family. I'm suffering badly in that department, but I feel a moral obligation to provide for my family, and that's what I do. I'll leave it at that.

So....until next time....I'm out of here and back to drill and other "stuff". Hope you enjoyed reading....now get outta here.

A truly sad day...

There have been times over the past few years that within the music business people have passed away. For instance, one person in my own life, Ron Hoar, died and it was quite a blow. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get out of work to get to his service. But most have never heard of Ron Hoar. A GIANT in music education here in southern California. Anyway--many have passed away seemingly recently, both famous and not so famous...but none hit me in the heart like what happened today. I was driving to an appointment today when KFI radio announced during their half hour news break that Maynard Ferguson had passed away last night. That was really really sad...and it hit me in the heart. I grew up listening to Maynard, being a "Fanaddict" and a member of his fan club, and following him religiously all over southern California. I'll type more later but something is wrong with this interface and I can't make a new paragraph...bye for now.

Press box report

I'm actually sitting in the pressbox, using John Donovan's computer, and watching DCI semi finals...technology. Amazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzing ain't it? Having fun...feeling a little sad due to some memories associated with Camp Randall Stadium. I'll explain that later in my blog maybe.

Anyway...I'm alive.

Check in from Madison...

Having a great time...I overdosed on Drum Corps yesterday. All is well. The Top 12 are PHENOMENAL. Absolutely unbeliveable. And IMPULSE WON DIVISION III by OVER a point. GOOD JOB!!!

Pacific Crest...sigh...they were DEFINITELY robbed, but little ol' me thinks they need a style update...a new vision...and...

RYAN H. TURNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The drill.............AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!

Sorry...my distaste for over-priced mediocre drill CONTINUES to grow.

I'm about to say something I've NEVER said before...

...and it's going to blow your minds. Really. It blows my mind just THINKING about it much less about ready to publish this. OK...I got to get myself set here. Feet on the floor. Deep breath. OK. Here it goes. Are you ready?? OK...

Today, I actually had a GREAT time at the California DMV office in Fullerton.

WHOA!!!

I SAID IT!!! WHOA!!!

So here's the deal. I set up, via ON LINE an appointment for today to renew my license. The website was fairly easy to navigate, and it was easy to set up the actual appointment. My appointment assigned to me was 12:45pm today. Now--I had to leave work early today and take some personal time to take care of this and about 10 MILLION other things (thanks boss for letting me go!!! HE READS THIS BLOG FOR GOD'S SAKES!!!). Anyway--I go straight from work to the DMV office, get out of my car, and saunter over to the front door. I checked out the time I got into line, and it was 12:31. Cool. PLENTY of time. I noticed as the line moved moderately fast that the receptionist was NOT pleased with her job, not pleased with the clientle', and NOT pleased with the guy right in front of me that was the teen age equivalent of...well, no other way to put it...an IDIOT. Complete. And utter. I was mildly amused as I could tell the receptionist was condescendingly amused with the putz, but at the same time, just wanted him to leave her domain quickly. I came up to the desk. Now it was my turn. GULP!

"Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeext", just like you'd hear by some annoyed receptionist on TV.

"I'm here to renew my license."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Yes."

"Do you have your confirmation number?"

"Yes" as I handed it to her.

Glancing at it, and then looking up at my beamingly yet slightly chubby face, she smiled BIG time at me and said, "Those were the right answers." Handing me my ticket to move along, she said, "And you have a great day."

WOW!! So I quickly move over to a wall mounted desk type thing to fill out my DL-44 application. I had barely begun when the computer generated loud speaker husky female voice said, breathlessly, "Mr. Turner, please COME here." No no no...it said, "F305, please go to window 28." That was me. I had been standing there about 1 minute. DAMN THESE PEOPLE!!! They're fricken efficient.

So I walk up window 28 to find a very nice older Japanese man wearing a "Solidarity" shirt (something union related) sitting there, and I said, "Hey how ya' doin???" He looked up at me as any state worker would with a look of "Are you about to kill me?" to the realization that I was just a harmless goofball, and then the look of "Boy, you ARE an idiot." No, actually he smiled back and said "Cut the chit chat, what the hell do you want???" So I handed him my work, he mumbled something, and I said, "I'm sorry, I'm only 40 but my hearing really sucks in noisy environments (because in reality--it really does), what was that you said."

"T W E NNNNNNN TY SIX D O LLLLLLLLLLLLLL A R S P L E A S E ! ! ! ! "

Grrrr...come on. I said I was hard of hearing, not retarded. But he did it with a sly smile on his face, and I'm thinking to myself, "Ok, so I won't launch over this barrier between you and me and pound your head into the desk. You're being a smarty pants." Oh...HE WAS. He proved it later.

After money changed hands and the deal was set, he said, "Meet me at window 32 so I can see just how blind you are." LOL...hahahaha...very funny mother....sorry. Lost myself there for minute.

Now, the walk to window 32 was CONSIDERABLY longer than HIS walk to window 32. I think there's some kind of worm hole between his desk and window 32. I had to bob and weave my way around people and around a corner and then another corner, and BAM! There he was, looking all bored waiting for me. He really was a live one. He says...

"OK--with your glasses on, read line #3."

"I W X D E"

"Good, cover your right eye and read line #4."

"G B C D E"

"Alright, now cover your left eye and read line #5, lucky."

"U V C D R"

"GOOD JOB!!! Now cover your right eye again and read line #6."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, there is no line #6."

"GOOOOOOOOOOD JOB!!! You passed the test. If you had said 'I don't SEE line #6', I would have failed your ass." Now I'm just ROLLING on the floor laughing my ass off. He was funny.

So I went back to his window, sealed the deal, went to the camera lady, got my picture taken, and then, walked out the door I came in....at 12:42.

12:42.

I was 2 minutes AHEAD of my scheduled appointment time.

So I humbly bow in the direction of the DMV and thank you for whatever efficiency classes you guys have been going to and appreciate the humor and good naturedness of the employees I dealt with. Because I know the DMV is where the dregs of society like to hang out. It's a non-glamourous job. But I had a great time.

No more blogging until Monday or Tuesday--I am OUT of here for a vacation to Tahoe! CIAO!!!

Gooooooooood GRIEF...it's overwhelming this thing called corps

You know...I'm just sitting here at my computer speechless. Really. SPEECHLESS. I guess when you get to my age (as I pop my false teeth in), you tend to get a little reminiscent of time that has gone by, and you remember things, you romanticize things, you embellish a little hear and a little there ("The fish was THIS big!"), you tend to forget (or want to forget) that bad things...well...here...just read the following text. This is a cut and paste job of something I put over in the member's only section of the Kingsmen Alumni Discussion Board--and since I'm the author of it...I can place it where I want!! :-) Anyway...describes the feelings this morning...

Just a quick word from "The Mouth"...uh, sorry, I mean..."The Voice"... A little birdy called me late last night and left a message for me on my cell. The message was simple, if not slightly cryptic...it went like this... "Hey Ryan, you won't believe who I sat next to at rehearsal tonight at Western HS. I'll give you a hint. Ready? We got something you're REALLY gonna like!! BYE!" Click.

That was it.

Now, some of you if not ALL of you are probably scratching your head wondering A)who the heck left such a weird message, and B) what the heck WAS that weird message? Trust me, when I heard that message, I audibly GASPED. So loudly in fact that my wife, who was in another room, called out, "Ryan are you OK?" I yelled back, "Oh yeah...I just had another drum corps moment." Something I have affectionately referred to in my 11 years of wedded bliss (COUGH!!!) when I just don't feel like explaining the back-story to something that The Warden wouldn't appreciate in the first place. Right? It's a "why bother" moment. Non-drum corps people just don't get some things that are important to us. But we do.

TURNER, GET TO THE DANG POINT!!!

Folks--if you don't know this, I was drum major of VK in 1986 and 1987. They were some of the best years of my life, especially 1987. The 1987 show lended itself to me more of a "fun" style for me to conduct, and when I say fun, I mean not standing ramrod straight and conducting with just my forearms, but rather, using lots of how I refer to as "body English" and getting the crowd involved and what not. As a matter of fact, if memory serves me correctly, I scared the crap out of the staff at semi finals by turning around to the crowd at Camp Randall as the baritone section started their soli section of "California Girls", and I did what an self-respecting VK drum major SHOULD have done...and that's get 40,000 people to clap....AND ON 2 AND 4 OF COURSE! Permission was granted for that to occur at finals--and I did it. But there's something important to know about my antics in 1987 as drum major.

Outside of the big influence that Greg Clarke had on me as a performer, there was another influence that few knew of. I kept this near and dear to me, and always regarded this person as truly an icon of what, at least in MY eyes, a drum major SHOULD be--commanding, enthusiastic, entertaining, and a musician. I found that person one day at a corps show way back in 1982. He was the drum major of the Freelancers at the time. And then, I saw him again in 1983, but this time, it was by accident. While attending "Boys State", an American Legion sponsored "political camp" at Cal State Sacramento, and being infinitely BORED to tears with the camp precedings, I ventured off to find the source of this GREAT music I was hearing. And lo and behold, it was the Freelancers rehearsing. And there was that same drum major I remembered from a year before. This time--he actually looked over at me and waved. You see--this person, without even knowing it, influenced me in ways that wouldn't see any results of for 4 more years, and I guess indirectly, everything since then in my participation in whatever way I've had in the world of band/corps/guard. And it's when a person like this who shows BY EXAMPLE to another of what CAN be done, and in turn, influences another to strive for something better, it's pretty special. And it stays with you a long time. A REALLY long time.

Well--the point of this is that that cryptic message above told me that none other than Carl Allison has joined the KAC. Carl Allison yelled the above "We've got something you're really going to like" at the crowd at 1983 finals during Freelancers' closer, "Even Now". Carl Allison, out of all the drum majors in 1982 and 1983 (and out of almost all the drum majors in drum corps SINCE then might I add) with the exception of Mike Zapanta from SCV, was very, very highly regarded. So unbelievable admired. Both by competitors...fans...and geeky band nerds like myself, who aspired to be what HE WAS some day. I never met the man except for the wave in 1983. But I was his fan. And he never knew what he did for me by just being HIM. And I don't know if there's a greater compliment that I can give.

There's not much else to say but thank you Carl. And it will be a understatement of the century to say that I will be honored to stand in the same baritone line with you, much less in the same ROOM with you. I don't even know if he reads this board...but anyway--just had to get that off my chest.

The KAC keeps rocking...unbelievable what this venture has done. And I sincerely mean what I say...you have a legend in your midst.

There you have it. Just an incredible time in my life. Full circles and all that.

One more thing about this Madison trip...

I just realized...and far be it from me to COMPLAIN about this because I'm not...I'm just stating something for the record. But after this trip and all the costs associated with said trip, including but not limited to, airfare, car rental, mandatory dinner for friend in Milwaukee, mandatory OCFA shirt as gift to friend in Milwaukee, mandatory dinner (or at least a diet Coke for AT LEAST John Donovan, Jeff Ream, Cozy Chops, Fran "THE EAST COAST ANSWER TO THE WEST COAST VOICE" Haring, and I'm sure thousands of others), tickets, food, housing, food, program, food, maybe a shirt or a hat or 300, more food, and.....uh....food, well...it's finally starting to dawn on me.

I'M GOING TO BE POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!

Ahhhhhhh...I grew up poor...had a bit of success in the early 90's...got married...been poor ever since. What's new?

AT LEAST I GET TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I mention I'm about as excited about a trip as I've been in a long time? I haven't? Well...just a reminder...

I'M JAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZED...becoming poor or not.

For crimeny sakes...can it get much better?

What planets are lining up NOW in my life?

My trip to Madison just got exponentially better.

CRIMENY!!!

(Side note--my dad used to say "Crimeny" all the time when I was a little kid. Now that I'm thinking about it, my parents used to say some very strange things. I'm wondering...were they REALLY human?? Like my dad...when he'd get mad, like, REALLY mad, he'd yell "JUDAS PRIEST!!!!" Dad...I'm 40 now...and look back and wonder what exactly were you meaning? And my mom...she used to call me "Rydeeboo", "Cutey Patootey Pie Pot Pumpkin Kid". But the creme' de la creme' of "WTF DID YOU JUST SAY?" sayings she used to spew out in times of great stress: "Oh for crying out loud in the night!!!" Mom--I know you've been gone since 1994, but really...WTF???)

Anyway--what was I saying? Yeah...Madison. If you all haven't been to this website, go there now. This one. No...THIS ONE. It's Drum Corps Planet. And the publisher/owner John Donovan...well...I'll just say he's a great guy, and he's taken it upon himself to make Ryan H. Turner's homecoming to Madison just a whole lot better than it was. And it was already stellar. Now if I can get his son a job at OCFA, I'll be REALLY cool!!! :-)

Speaking of OCFA, we're hiring...go HERE to see if you really want a chance to WORK FOR ME.

Now...I have some bad news. Actually, not bad news as much as extremely disappointing. Maybe disappointing isn't accurate. I'll go for infuriating. I ate at Pick Up Stix today with my boss. We were sitting have a nice discussion over hot steaming plates of Kung Pao Chicken the joys and challenges of being a supervisor/manager, when we noticed a mom and her 2 kids, about 4 and 2 get up from their table. She was busy yapping on a cell phone, because as you are well aware, it's a citizenship requirement of females in Orange County to have a cell phone mushed in their ear talking at the top of their lungs for at least 35% of their time out in public. While she was yapping on her cell, she'd yell out various commands and admonitions to her kids, like, "STOP!!!" or "STOP!!!" or a really interesting one..."HEY!! STOP!!!!!!!!" After a few...oh I don't know...THOUSAND times of hearing that, she and her brood were ready to take a hike. THANK GOD!!! But what was disappointing beyond the fact that she was clueless in general...

It was the mess she left. And dang if I didn't bring my cell phone, or I would have taken a picture of the ABSOLUTE mess that was left behind. Rice all over the floor and table, sauces everywhere, all three plates left, floor COVERED with napkins...wait, make that USED napkins...I mean...truly. It was UNBELIEVABLE. And there she goes, waltzing out of the Pick Up Stix, two kids in tow, CONTINUING to yap on the phone, COMPLETELY oblivious to what was going on around her. As I watched her leave, I looked at those two cute kids, and gave them about until they turned 5 or 6 before they would stop being cute, and turn into the holy TERRORS that their IDIOTIC mother was turning them into.

I'm no saint, and I may not be the best father in the world. But I will BE DAMNED if my kids EVER leave a mess like that, or worse...MUCH WORSE...I leave a mess like that and by my actions PROVE to them that yeah, it's ok to be a f----- pig and leave it for the "hired help" to pick up. And you WONDER WHY WE'RE APAF---INGTHETIC about our illegal immigration issues.

If it wasn't for my roots and my loyalty to the OCFA, I would leave this state behind me in the biggest damn dust cloud I could produce as I burned rubber to get the HELL OUT.

That's it...a nice post that just turned ugly...well, what the hell did you expect? ROSES?!!

Now get outta here until next time...

F------ California.

And Mel Gibson--can I make a suggestion, while I've got "California Dreamin' " on my mind? Just a little one. My wife does NOT watch the news, nor does she listen to the radio (although she used to be a fan of Bill Handel, and rightly so, to stay married to me), so, outside of the tidbits of crap she gets from AOL News (I can't believe I just combined the terms AOL and NEWS together--what a farce!), she's probably not aware of EVERYTHING that's transpired in your life over the last couple of days. And it's a good thing. She adores you. She thinks that perhaps if you were to walk on water, she'd give up that whole Mormon thing and come running to your feet. But you...well, from one man to another...can I make some suggestions?

1. SHUT THE HELL UP!!! No one CARES about your apology, and it's insincere anyway. JUST SHUT UP. No...REALLY. SHUT UP!

2. When you're married, have 7 kids, are a major proponet of the Catholic faith, and make one of the highest grossing movies that disgustingly shows the brutality of the Crucifixion and claim to do this because it's a way to express your faith...you may want to think twice about being in a bar/nightclub place, having your picture taking while obviously hammered (by facial expression alone, not to mention the fact that I could smell the booze coming THROUGH THE INTERNET off of you through those pictures), and being in the company of several different younger women. Regardless of your purity in the matter when it comes to being uhhhh...how do I say...TRULY adulterous, you may want to consider the whole "I think I may be making a bad impression" aspect of this. I know a long time ago I didn't think that way--and something "innocent" has hounded me to this very DAY. So...I speak from experience (shut up Jon!).

3. When I notice the credits for movies today scrolling by, I notice lots and lots and lots of Jewish names. It's a well-known fact--Jews are BIG in Hollywood. And there's not a thing in the world wrong with that. As a matter of fact, I'd venture to guess a Jew or two helped YOU make some money in your life time, and I bet you returned the favor to them. So--here's suggestion #3. Read suggestion #1, and then insert the words "....about Jews" after it. Just SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

4. True REPENTANCE does NOT mean write a press release and apologizing for your psychological issues, which you basically said you had to go "search" out. Again, read #1, and then realize that repentance takes ACTION, and if there's EVER a religious group on the face of the earth that EXPECTS ACTION...it would be the very people you were bad mouthing. Read #1, and then, I would suggest converting. That's about all you can do right now to make it even seem like you're seriously sorry. Throwing words around will only tell the normal everyday Jew...that you're full of shit.

5. For the LOVE OF GOD, get your shit together or my wife will become catatonic and our family will fail. Please.

That's all on this expanded version of this post...now GET OUTTA HERE!!! :-)

And he's off!!!!!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to officially announce that as of yesterday morning (Sunday), I am alllllllllllllllllll set to go.

Go?

Go where?

WHY, MADISON, WISCONSIN OF COURSE!!!

That's right. I will be joining a large contingent of VIP's from Drum Corps Planet in their "section" at quarters, semis and finals. If you are going to Madison, please make sure you say hi to the guy in the bright ass Hawaiian shirt. THAT WILL BE ME!!! I'm committed to wearing colors that will make Cozy Chops from down south seem tame, and Sam Signornelli blush in embarrassment. I would like to tip my official DCP baseball cap towards the owner and publisher of DCP John Donovan for making this trip a reality for me. What started as a half-baked "you wanna go?" question in a recent I.M. session with me went from a "oh come on, I can't afford that" to "well, maybe this would work" to "hang on, let me check with my mom...uh, I mean wife" to "HOLY CRAP!!!! I GET TO GO!!!!" Pretty interesting what life is like--I just hope WWIII and fricken wait until AFTER finals. Of course, I was hoping WWIII would wait until after Revenge of the Sith came out, too...so I'm hitting a home run in the "Holding Off WWWIII" department.

I'm VERY excited to be going. Now for those of you that are not familiar with my history, for the 3 years I marched in drum corps (85, 86, and 87), World Championships were at Camp Randall Stadium in Madison. I'm pretty familiar with the Madison area, and it's pretty important to me. Also, I went back in 1992 to finals for vacation with my buddies and co-workers at the time Phil Mortensen and Pete Perez. We stayed at the dorms just across the street from the stadium. Pretty ghetto, but we didn't care. Anyway--it's going to be very cool that I get to go. As a matter of fact (small world moment here), I'm getting free housing back there. I write drill for Hesperia HS up in, well....that would be Hesperia. Gee, thanks Turner--that was profound. The director there is Shane Sherrodd. Shane is the younger brother of Sean. I used to be Sean's boss at Knott's Berry Farm in the Security Department, and we used to carpool for the graveyard shift. I'd go pick him up at his house in Fullerton at 11pm, we'd start our shift at 1130, and then leave at 7:00am the next day. We were pretty good friends, but as in life, sometimes things get in the way. I quit Knott's and moved on to the OCFA, got married. Sean got married, stayed at KBF for a short time, but then moved on to Disney and started getting into hotel security operations. Anyway, here we are 12 years later, and he's the head of security for Hilton Hotels in Wisconsin, and I'm...well, I'm still a putz. But he's letting me crash at his house. VERY VERY cool. And we talked on the phone the other day, first time in 10 years, and it was like no time had passed between us. Like I said, it was very very cool.

Soooooooooooooooooo...I'm flying back on Wednesday to Chicago, driving to Milwaukee, setting up shop, going out and partying with my bud on Wednesday, and then...it's THREE STRAIGHT DAYS OF CORPS!!!!

Now--some bad news.

1. I'm going to miss my wife and kids. My son is particularly in a cute phase of his life. So--sigh...the things you have to give up for CORPS!!!!

2. I've got lots of drill design stuff to do this season--and I'm doubting I'll be wanting to write drill in Milwaukee. So--I'm going to be behind the curve so to speak. BUT--upside is that I will be able to see first hand AWESOME drill (Rosander, Gaines, Billings, Sylvester, Weber--goooooooooood GOD I'll be in drill design 7th Heaven!!!), and either one of two things will happen. One, I'll be inspired to new heights of what can be done and what I can do myself, or, two, I'll become despondent and catatonic because I'll see that I'm nowhere NEAR as talented as these guys and I'll jump off the pressbox at the conclusion of finals.

3. I pressed the "purchase tickets" button WAY too quickly when I was booking my flight with United, and what turned out to be a great price was negated by the fact that the RETURN flight I booked was FAR TOO FREAKIN' EARLY IN THE MORNING! Hence, I was charged $100 to "change" my flight. WTF is that all about United???? You rat bastards. You better fly that plane straight, smooth and freakin' FAST. That's all I'ze gotz to say.

4. I don't get to go with my partner, my brother, my friend and inspiration Carl W. Nelson. He's got scheduling conflicts plus he's moving into a mansion somewhere so he has no time available to go. So, when I would be sitting with him and his family at a cool comfortable Irvine Spectrum Theater to watch quarter finals...I'll be sitting in the stadium. He said he'll be looking for me. He won't be able to miss me (center section, on the 50, 30 rows up from the side line...fat guy in Hawaiian shirt...therrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre's Turner!!!!!!!!!)

Well...that's it. I'm fricken jazzed. I think I might have to do my very first ever Finals Review...hmmmmm...we'll see if I actually want to work on Saturday night or not.

That's it for the blog today--hope you had a great time and hey, let me tell you one more thing...

GET OUTTA HERE!! :-) Love ya...mean it...